Are People Boycotting Your Church?
- Posted by: Todd
- Posted on: Wed, May 11, 2005
- Viewed 82
- (30) comments so far
- I boycotted Blockbuster for 10 years. It was easy. They were rude to me and there was a Hollywood Video next door. But, I must admit, Blockbuster's new no late fee policy might make me consider going back. It's about making my life easier.
- I recently vowed to stop shopping at SuperTarget. They wouldn't let me exchange a roman shade I purchased that was damaged when I opened the package. I had the receipt. I had the original packaging. I had the product. But, since it had been more than 90 days, they "couldn't help me". I explained that the shade was purchased for a remodeling project that was just completed. It sat unused in the box until now. All I needed was an exchange. "Sorry, that's our policy." Again, I showed my receipt. "Sorry, your receipt is expired." (Since when does money expire?) "We don't carry that product anymore. It has no value to us." (Oh, so it's about them?) "Sorry. That's our policy." (This should be illegal. Really.) I wouldn't go away so they tried to brush me off by telling me to go home and call this toll-free customer service number. I asked them to call it for me while I was standing at the desk. Well, wouldn't you know it, after 20 minutes on the line, even they couldn't get through to a live person. Uh huh. That's what I thought.
Here's my point. Target was more concerned and more loyal to their "policy" than the customer. When they say things like "that product has no value to us anymore", it's obvious they could care less about me. Nevermind the fact you sold me damaged goods. After 90 days, it's not your problem; it's mine. No matter what. Happy trails."
Kem makes an interesting point... how many of us feel the same way about the way we're treated at certain businesses and places? There are places that we love to shop, and places we avoid. There are places that give a great first impression, and those that make us never return.
Like it or not, the same goes for our churches. In today's consumeristic society, people (yourself included) will make a judgement when visiting a church for the first time. Actually, our first impressions will be made probably before the service even begins. How does the facility look? Is it kept up? How does it smell? How friendly are the people? How easy was it to find where my kids go? What's the overall atmosphere?
If you're a pastor thinking that this is all superficial, I bet you do the same thing when you visit a church you could potentially be working at in the future.
The thing is... these days, first impressions are important. And if we want to have a church that is open to reaching new people in our community, we need to take away any barriers that might make people "boycott" our church in the future. And yes, this could include 'superficial' things like have the carpet cleaned, a fresh coat of paint on the walls, and a definite strategy for greeting people and making newcomers feel welcome.
FOR DISCUSSION:
What have you done to eliminate the 'boycott' barriers at your church? Have you looked at your church facilities and services from an 'outsiders' standpoint? What do you think is the most important factor in making people feel at home in your church.
DISCLAIMER: Please, please, please... I would like this conversation to be a positive discussion on first impressions, not a discussion on any of the following:
1. why the church service is not for visitors and evangelism
2. how consumeristic/business related the church has become
3. how watered down the gospel is because in a church that cares about first impressions
4. why big churches do this to wipe out the small churches
5. why we think we are more important than the biblical message
6. how our idea of 'church' is all screwed up
Very seriously, I'm contemplating fitting the bill for a blog for people who'd like to discuss and debate these topics, but I'd really rather not do that here... not today... Today, I'd rather discuss the positives of how you in your present church can better serve new people when they come through your door for the first time. What one thing would you change if you could?
Have a great day!
Todd
Kem Meyer writes at her blog: I’m not one who typically boycotts. I’ll spread negative WOM, but I won’t boycott. It just feels too much like holding a grudge. I’m not a grudge holder. Besides that, I’m not into punishing myself to prove a point to some mega franchise. They don’t notice I’m gone and I’m just not willing to give up the convenience or comfort that brought me there in the first place. But there have been two times I boycotted out of principle.
Comments
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bernie on Wed, May 11, 2005
I’ve attended numerous chuches for numerous reasons, even re-attending prior churches. So if people do “boycott,” you may get a second chance, unless you super-burn them. I think I’ve been through almost 10 churches in my life, but there’s one I wouldn’t consider returning to, because of their dsyfunctional operation and seemingly indifference to the members.
...Bernie
http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/247/
Pastor Al on Wed, May 11, 2005
“Indifference!” That is the key to hindering growth isn’t it.
In my first church, they were struggling with growth when I came. In my first board meeting I had the board tour the children’s department – it was so ratty and dirty – I told them straight out – you want your church to grow you must invest in this department. They did – invested about $12,000, in that first summer. As a result of that change and some other minor changes the church doubled in less then a year.
My philosophy has always been, if you provide the best for Children and Youth – the parents will respond by giving the best of themselves and their commitments. It has worked in every church but the one I am leaving now. In a word – the reason for the failure in this church? – Indifference – they do not want to be bothered with either a vision nor goals – they like their life and their “little” group and care not about a visitor nor a pastor – so like the hundreds that have come and never stayed – I too am leaving to find a place that has a desire to serve God and reaching out to people.
And you know what – I can’t wait for the future God has planned! Praise his Name he is a Great God!
Rick on Wed, May 11, 2005
I think a group of folks whose church buildings, property, services, programs, language, attitudes and behavior that mirrors “their” everyday lives would attract the folks they live in and around.
Communicate reality not some lofty aspiration, perfection or something that isn’t who your community of believers are everyday of their lives.
Communicate life. Change sign messages, banners, ballons, flowers, property and equipment around so people driving by notice. Do on property sports leagues like the YMCA. Your church bldgs/property will become community hot spots of activity.
Keep the bathrooms clean…especially the women’s. Have folks police it during all activities/services.
That’s the few ideas the pop into my head.
Rick on Wed, May 11, 2005
Folks get upset because thier promised one thing and experience another.
Don’t make promises via look, language, program or service that you don’t intend to keep or exceed.
and do follow up. How was your experience? How did we not meet your expectations?
One little follow up phone call can allow a dissatisfied customer (er visitor) to vent and open up an opportunity to profusely apologize and offer something as compensation.
BeHim on Wed, May 11, 2005
A good “rule of thumb” is, “would President Bush use your bathroom or sit in your pews?”
If our societal “king” (I know he is our President but he is the closest thing to a “king” we would have in our society) wouldn’t use the bathroom or sit in the pew, then why would we do anything less for our God?
Serve, clean and prepare as though to the Lord (our King).
I DO NOT agree with changing a message from the Word of God to make people feel good but I can surely take care of the building and bathrooms (that is being a good steward).
Pastor Mark on Wed, May 11, 2005
Research this topic; the numbers are scary. There is credible research indicating that people will decide whether or not they will visit a second time in as little as 30 seconds; lots of other research that runs the number out as far as 11 minutes.
We have retitled our “Operations Team” the “11 Minute Team” so that we never lose focus that the facilities ministry has one purpose: Insure that facilities is the first in a long list of reasons that a visitor has to return.
BeHim on Wed, May 11, 2005
Pastor Al
Don’t back bite and tale bare your congregation. Hold your tongue and speak privately about your hurts.
That is not right!
BeHim
Ellen on Wed, May 11, 2005
I recently visited a church with a singles ministry and sat at a table with 4 other single people. I asked them where they had attended before this church and three of them mentioned one church in particular. I asked why they moved and they said, nothing for singles. One of them told me that the leader of her small group told her that if she wanted to be with singles, she should move to this other church.
Sometimes, it may not be that people are “boycotting”, but rather that they’re just made to feel that they’re not wanted.
Pastor Al on Wed, May 11, 2005
BeHim,
“Back Bit and Tale Bare?”
No, more like disappointment.
Sorry if you can read my post and saw it as inappropriate. That wasn’t my intention.
Blessings,
Pastor Al
Pastor Al on Wed, May 11, 2005
Ellen,
You said,
“Sometimes, it may not be that people are “boycotting”, but rather that they’re just made to feel that they’re not wanted.”
I wonder if our “mobility” as a culture is a cause for this kind of “disconnection?” It seems today it is hard for people to connect in general not just in the church.
What do you think could help reduce the barriers that cause this disconnect?
Blessings,
Al
J. R. Miller on Wed, May 11, 2005
You do realize that the church service is not for visitors and evangelism. We have become so consumeristic/business and watered down the gospel. I think big churches do this to wipe out the small churche and are convined that they are more important that he biblical message. Our idea of ‘church’ is all screwed up!
Just kidding!!! Little joke there! http://www.mondaymorninginsight.com/images/smileys/grin.gif
Seriously though, I think the author makes a great point that our “policies” should not supercede our compassion for people. For example, I know of one church that has a policy for “no drinks” in the sanctuary, yet they serve coffee in the foyer right outside the door. That leaves greeters at the door to tell people, “you can’t bring that in here”. I think that is a terrible first impression that sends a confusing message. Do we care more about you or our carpets?
Ellen on Wed, May 11, 2005
What do you think could help reduce the barriers that cause this disconnect?
Speaking directly as a single person (and I think some churches forget that single adults are a very sizable percentage of the population)…
Being valued would reduce the barriers. I wrote a research paper on this subject and became much even more sensative than I had been.
If a person feels accepted and valued, they’re more likely to stay.
Just this last week - during the closing prayer - it went something like - we pray for those husbands that love their wives and the wives that submit to their husbands as unto the Lord and strengthen their families as they’re a witness to you…”
Like single parents don’t need strengthening?!?!?!
While I was writing the report, the same pastor prayed like this, “we pray for the husbands and wives that pray over their children, for the grandparents that pray for their families…” and I wondered, where do I fit in?
A church *employee* told me - “it’s an act of love to send a single person to another church, where they can get what they need” (Not like Paul’s “all things to all people:)
BeHim on Wed, May 11, 2005
Ellen
Are you married? Do you hope to be married? Pray for your future husband and children now.
If you’re not married and don’t plan to be married then consider that the Lord will be our Husband when we are in heaven and pray unto Him for all His, including the married and single.
I’m sure if the pastor was speaking to you alone he would be everything he needs to be to you.
Also, consider joining a small group more in-line with a single ministry.
The employee is wrong for making his statement but I would also say it is selfish of me to think the pastor needs to speak to my specific needs/wants while addressing the entire congregation. I say that as a directive for all of us, not just you specifically. We need to be understanding of other’s needs too. Considering that last week was mother’s day, most mothers are married and the topic is an encouragement to the families of the church.
Ricky on Wed, May 11, 2005
Quote:
“When we embrace the business model, we are forced to define success numerically. We think cost-results, asking, what do we get for our money, for our effort?
But how does one measure yeast hidden dough - or the growth of the mustard seed? How do we keep track of the seed sown in the field? How do we quantify spiritual service - by the hour? How doe we evaluate time spent in prayer?
True spiritual results are not only beyond our control, often we can’t even see them, much less explain how they happen. Not only can we not measure the ministry quantitatively, we distort it when we try.”
(Jim Peterson; “Church Without Walls”)
Perhaps people “boycott” these organizations because they’re tired of being counted as a number or looked as a pawn in the pastor’s game of “spiritual chess.”
Or maybe it’s that they see more of the real going ons in these organizations than we think they do, that they’re just “business as usual.”
Just a thought.
Ellen on Thu, May 12, 2005
“...but I would also say it is selfish of me to think the pastor needs to speak to my specific needs/wants while addressing the entire congregation”
49.7% of heads of households in the United States are single adults (2002, US Census Bureau)
The question was - why do people boycott “your” church. In my first post I gave a reason why 3 singles boycotted mine - because they’re made to fit in.
If your answer to that is “pray for your future husband now”, I still don’t fit in.
As far as your statement that most mothers are married - I’d agree that most mothers in your church are married. Looking at the Census Bureau, more than 30% of mothers with children under 18 are single (see link http://www.census.gov/population/socdemo/hh-fam/tabFM-2.pdf
That’s a pretty sizable chunk. Does your congregation reflect that? If not - why not?
There are a lot of reasons that single adults are single and the church cannot fill all of their needs. Where most churches fall short is facilitating the single adults filling each other’s needs, and making sure the congregation as a whole embraces singles as much as they embrace the “typical” family.
I had the experience of trying to introduce myself to a group of women - one of them looked at my “ring finger” and they closed the circle.
Churches see singles largely as a “non-issue” and so singles make church a “non-issue”
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