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    “Conflict?  Ask Ken”:  When Pastors Make Mistakes

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    Georgia,

    My reply will incorporate both possibilities regarding the truthfulness of the information. If the church secretary was fired on wrong information, the right information should provide the basis for correcting the situation. To confirm what the truth is, two or three people, not including the pastor, should uncover the actual facts and report them to the board. If it turns out that the pastor made a decision based on wrong information, he should acknowledge this fact privately to the secretary and then publicly to the congregation. Moreover, the secretary should be offered her job back with lost pay reimbursed.



    I worked with one church of about 600 where this very thing occurred. The pastor announced the (forced) resignation of an important staff member. He then came to find out that critical information which led to the termination was false. Two weeks later he publicly reversed himself and the resignation was rescinded. I give that pastor much credit for having the courage to do what he did. He received a lot of flak from one group on the original decision, and then received more flak from others on the reversal. In your case, if the secretary is unwilling to return, the church should at least provide her with a minimum of two weeks pay since no notice was given. A love offering would also be a nice touch to symbolically acknowledge that an error was made.



    On the other hand, if it turns out that the decision was correct, this should be made known to the congregation in only the most general of terms. The chair of the board should confirm that the pastor's action to terminate was appropriate. Do not disclose the actual (and embarrassing) reasons for the termination. This is doubly true if she is not a member of the church. If she is a member of the church, and sin was and is still involved, then Mat. 18 can be followed, not as an employee, but as a church member.



    For the future, church leadership ought to review their policy for termination. As you can now testify, when the firing of a staff member is viewed as an action solely undertaken by the pastor, even if right, the pastor leaves himself open to personal attack. This can and should be avoided by wrapping such a decision into the recommendation of a larger concurring group (e.g. elders, deacons, human resource committee, etc.).



    Ken



    Ken Newberger, an experienced church conflict resolution specialist, earned his Th.M. from Dallas Theological Seminary, has ten years senior pastoral experience, and is in the dissertation phase for his Ph.D. in Conflict Analysis and Resolution at Nova Southeastern University, one of only two accredited doctoral programs of its kind in the United States. If your church needs individualized help, please visit Ken's website or call 301-253-8877.



    To submit a question and connect with Ken, click here.



    Copyright 2004 Kenneth C. Newberger



    Have you ever blown it? How did you deal with it? What do you think of Ken's advice in this instance?

    Today we’ll continue our new series "Conflict? Connect with Ken", featuring Ken Newberger, an experienced church conflict resolution specialist. Each week Ken will tackle a new question regarding problems and conflicts that are happening in churches across the country. (At the end of today’s blog you can find out how to submit your confidential "Ask Ken" question. Here’s this week’s question… Dear Ken, Our pastor fired our church secretary without notice. He acted on information from a third party, which was not true. Our church has a weekly attendance of about 50 - 75. Georgia…


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    1. David on Thu, October 14, 2004

      I agree with Ken in principle, but I would suggest that you bring the “truthful” information to the pastor first, instead of the board. Allow him to gracefully “fix” his “mistake”. If he refuses, and you still feel an error has occured, then involve the 2 or 3 on the board. Matt 18 applies toward the pastor too.

    2. Rollins on Thu, October 14, 2004

      There is a church that I used to attend and have since left.  The situation is…  The pastor and the pastors father are elders of the church.  The pastors father was consulting a married young woman privatly about a disorder and eventually made a pass at her.  This has remained a private matter and has never been brought to light.  I only know of the situation due to a good friend who is very close to the woman.  It caused the pastors father to quietly step down from the eldership, but the young lady is now on her death bed due to the undue stress of this situation.  The matter has never been confronted and church discipline never carried out.  However, in every other case, church discipline has been a big issue in this church.  I guess my question is, should the situation be brought to light and should the pastors father apologize in front of the entire church or not?

    3. Bernie Dehler on Thu, October 14, 2004

      Sounds like a simple issue of good vs. poor leadership.  With poor leadership, the bad consequences seem limitless…


      Yes, Rollins, I think Pastor’s should apologize for serious mistakes… why not?  Don’t want to hurt their image or pride? Maybe they should/could role-model repentance.

      ...Bernie


      http://www.FreeGoodNews.com

       

    4. Monty on Thu, October 14, 2004

      Recently the Pastor of a church became “involved” with a female member of the church who was less than half his age. When his wife found out about it, she made him leave home until she felt that his appologies were geniune.  That took about 4 days.  He then stood before his congregation in what was meant to be a time of confession and repentence.  During this church-wide meeting he did appologize and preceeded to tell them what his steps to restoration would be.  He shared several scriptures on why he should be forgiven, that he was the C.E.O. of the church and could not be fired, announced that he and wife would be away for a few days of intense counseling, and told the congregation that he would take a 4 month sabbatical.  In the meantime, he will sit in the services while guest speakers deliver the messages.  Should he be calling the shots?  Or should he be submitted to someone or others who give him the requirements?  This is not a denominational church.  And, this is not the first time.

    5. James Dennis on Thu, October 14, 2004

      Why is it that the church all to often considers its self, “above the law”?  Especially in matters concerning hiring, firing, and other employment issues.  Why do pastors feel they are exempt from following state mandated guidelines that cover the dismissall of an employee?  In this day and age, there is no excuse for a pastor to “set-up” the church for possible legal action brought on by this type of action.

    6. Craig Lee on Thu, October 14, 2004

      Response to When Pastors Make Mistakes -

      It seems to me that there is much assumed in the pastor firing a secretary.  I also would assume that the pastor has been given the authority of the church to make staffing decesions not related to the rumors.  If this is the case, he may know something that is a private matter staffing wise that led to his decesion.  In today’s culture staffing is very sensitive so it is improper to assume that he made a mistake.  If given the authority by the church, good counsel should include confidence building for the pastor, even when situations seem to be in the wrong.  I am not advocating dictatorship, but shepherdship.  Biblically God has called pastors to protect the sheep, not follow the sheep as the culture seems to be demanding.  I think there is much more that would need to be asked to answer this question.  Thanks for listening.

    7. Janet on Thu, October 14, 2004

      I think Ken’s advice would have been welcomed by me because I have been in a situation like that recently.


      I was suddenly fired from my job Sept. 2 without any notice by the administrator in a very large church (average attendance of approx. 1,000) I had worked there full-time since January 1995, so I was there nearly 10 years. (The administrator who fired me is not the same as the one who hired me. This one has never liked me and has been looking for something a long time to use against me. Others have observed it too.)


      In previous years, I was chosen as employee of the month in June 1998 & received a pay raise and at least two job promotions with pay increases while there, as well as commendations publicly and in written form from the pastor and other staff and church members. The pastor is the one who has always seen to it that I received the pay increases.


      Then on Sept. 1, there was a simple misunderstanding about my job description that could have easily and quickly been resolved. (I did not know that one could be fired for following their job description, above and beyond, but you can!) The administrator and another staff member (my boss) would not deal with me redemptively to resolve the situation. I have always gotten along well with my boss until this came up. I asked for mercy, grace, forgiveness and another chance and was denied. (My boss DID forgive me he said.) Having one problem/question over my job description in 10 years is a pretty good record I think.

      I had to pack up everything (by myself) from the past 10 years, load it into my car and leave within 2 hours after being notified of my “termination.”



      When I asked the administrator if the pastor knew about this decision, he became very defensive and said “He knows I have the right to fire.” My reply was “I’m not questioning your authority. I am simply asking for information.” I was gruffly told “Yes, he knows.”

       

      I am single and have no other source of income. I was given some severance pay by the church, but my parents have given me money the past 2 months to help out because I was barely making it before I was fired.


      When I applied for unemployment benefits I was told I did not qualify in our state because I had worked for a non-profit organization. I have health problems and my insurance runs out in a couple of weeks.


      I have only had 2 interviews since September 2 and none of those have worked out after having sent out approximately 50-60 resumes. I went to a personnel agency yesterday to try to find some kind of employment.


      God will provide, but it is very hard to think that I ever want to work in a church again. (I’ve worked in churches since 1980 until now.)


      I am hurt, wounded and confused. I am “guarding my heart, for out of it is the wellspring of life” because I do not want to become bitter nor hold a grudge in my heart.

       

      I haven’t said a word to any of the staff nor contacted them about what has happened, but I wonder if I should write them and the personnel committee a letter letting them know what has happened from my viewpoint. I don’t want to go back to work there, but I feel I was wrongfully terminated. I literally “shook the dust from my feet” when I left. What should I do?

       

    8. Pastor Casselman on Thu, October 14, 2004

      I recently had the opposite happen to me where I was being pressed to keep someone out of the church.  It seems that three years ago (before I came as pastor) a member made some rather serious charges against the then present pastor and two other women in the church.  Church district leadership along with the church board met together and concluded that the accuser was in the wrong.  The church, then, issued a letter of request for the accuser to never attend the church.  The accuser complied but now (three years later)  has begun to attend.  As present pastor I was asked to immediately deal with it.  Since rational,  quick judgement and action are not my way I chose to research.  I also promised the board that should the accuser attend one more time that I would pay a visit and deal with the issue.  When the accuser did attend on a recent Wednesday night the offended showed up quickly (the offended had not been attending and was now causing her own set of troubles in the church.)  I would not rationally act that night toward the accuser until I had all facts together and had (first of all) ‘met with Jesus’).   The offended threatened to stop coming to the church and I was hard pressed to approach the accuser.  Within the next two days (after district communicatiton, conference with the accuser and time with Jesus)  I took the appropriate action and asked the accuser not to attend.   As a result of my slow to judge and act on the situation the offended (who had been causing her own set of new troubles for my ministry and the church) now has left along with her husband and four children.  I understand that there are some thing that we must act quickly on but as pastors we must also use wisdom, prayer and caution when asking someone to leave a ministry position or from attendance.

    9. Christian Summer on Thu, October 14, 2004

      I concur with James on this issue. The church is opening itself up for an undue number of lawsuits over situations such as these. I am not saying that personal should not be fired but they should be fired according to the bylaws the church has established, that the hired person should be expected to live by.


      I think there is a much bigger issue at hand then this topic seems to imply.


      Is the church giving the senior pastor too much authority? Are we allowing the pastor to make decisions that he does not, or should not have the authority to make either according to the churches bylaws or even to scripture. Is it okay to give a single imperfect fallen individual this kind of ultimate power?


      It seems more and more that churches are centering their whole existence around the head pastor. When a church is known simply for its head pastor and not for its ministries i think that we are missing the mark.


      The head pastor is going to make mistakes…that is a given, but dont you think that it is the churches responsibility to try to limit the scope of their mistakes by limiting what immediate authority the pastor has? A body of elders or deacons that are prayer warriors should be a pastor’s best friend. I do not think that the head pastor should get a vote or veto on the board of elders or deacons because the pastor should fully trust the elders and deacons (heck the body in which he serves) to seek God to make right decisions.

      In a situation like the one mentioned in the original article, the pastor would not have had the authority to make a decision like that on their own. Instead they would have had to taken the situation through the right channels, which would have, found out the truth, and secondly taken care of the situation according to the bylaws governing the church.


      Why do pastors think they can command and control this kind of authority? Probably because we continue to let these guys come in and take over our church.


      As for the church were the pastor fell into immorality and thinks he should be allowed to come back in and lead the church after a time of restitution…that is a really sad situation that i hear about more and more. I know many youth pastors that have done the same thing and do you think that the church allowed them to retain their position??? No way. Why, well because we are called to a higher calling and a higher level of accountability, and secondly the threat that he could do it again. Is their some kind of double standard that should allow the pastor an extra measure of grace in this situation? As far as church position goes no way, as far as loving the pastor back into a level of ministry with the church (not a staffed position) yes.


      Remember it took one sin to kick us out of the Garden of Eden and to lose our perfect fellowship with God. It took one sin to keep Moses out of the Promised Land. It took one sin to destroy the final days of king Uziah’s reign. The sin mentioned here was not simply breaking the speed limit but it directly caused another in the church to sin, was a sin against the body (I Cor. 6:18-20), and was done by the person holding the most visible and highest accountable position in the church (much like Moses and Uziah).


      I know i am about to get rebuttals of folks saying that none of us are qualified to serve and that in God’s eyes one sin is the same as all the others (i am not sure this is entirely true). The truth here is this was not a spur of the moment sin, but required time to manifest itself.  This is time that the pastor followed seeking his pleasure more then God’s grace.

       

      James 1:14-15 “But each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full grown, gives birth to death”.


      He had to feed his own desire (lust in this case) well before it lead to the full blown sin.


      Is your church deceived into thinking that the pastor is too important to lose? If that is the case then you church is in a very dangerous state.


      Finally dealing with the other issue of the son pastor and father elder… This needs to be addressed according to Matt 18:15-20. If people cannot trust the church to be honest with its leadership then how can they trust anything in the church. You do need to make sure that this is not a rumor which the outline in Matt. 18 should deal with. Do not under any circumstance approach the offender in a prideful manner. This was written to approach the brother in love so that the relationship between you and him may be mended. The sin between you and the pastor in this situation is that he has not been honest with the church over the matter and it is hurting the fellowship in the church.

       

      Again, i am not perfect and dont even begin to have all the answers, but treating sin with triviality is one of the things keeping the church from being effective. People need to know the cost of grace through their sin and to glaze over that truth reduces the cost that Christ paid.

       

    10. Pastor Kevin on Thu, October 14, 2004

      I am a pastor of a small congregation church and have fellowship with one particular church in my area.  Our two churches have recently found favor with one another.  Most recently on my visit to the church my wife noticed one of the staff members making uncomfortable eye contact with her, which she spoke of on the way home.  The day following this same gentleman called our home and told my wife that she looked very sexy on Sunday and to keep this conversation between her and him. 


      Would it be more appropriate for me to bring this concern to the pastor of whom I fellowship with or rather call the gentleman directly???

    11. Victor A. King on Thu, October 14, 2004

      Concerning the original article, Ken has offered useful and workable solution out of the problem. If the Pastor in question gets to read Ken’s advice, he should please go ahead and act on it.

      I believe Janet has raised a very disturbing issue here. This young woman lost her job after having worked in a church for nearly ten years. Besides, she stated that she had been working with different churches since 1980.


      Now she has no job, she’s not entitled to unemployment benefits, she has health problems and her insurance runs out in a couple of weeks.


      Why is it that nobody has responsded to her plights in concrete terms? Here’s somebody who said she’s hurt, wounded and confused. I believe we should find some ways of encouraging our sister.


      Janet, I’ll pray for you. I believe God will see you through. Please guard your heart from every form of bitterness/hatred. The cloud will drift away. And the sun will still shine. Even brighter than ever before.

       

    12. Barry on Thu, October 14, 2004

      Our church has a personnel committee, of which I am the chairman. The pastor has no authority to hire or fire any employee. He can only make recommendations. After prayer, and thorough investigation of the circumstances a decision will be made. Termination of ministerial staff may only be done by recommendation of the personnel committee to the church body which requires a 80% vote.


      There are many books available on line on Labor Law. Every church would be well advised to have one on hand. Churches are not exempt from state & federal labor laws and many churches have found themselves entangled in labor related suits in the past twenty years. As we all know, we today live in a very litgeous society and wrongful termination suits can (and have) finacially ruin a church and it’s ministry. Even if the termination was justified it is very expensive to fight these suits.


      Many states have poor labor laws as regards employee rights. In many of those states employers may terminate an employee without cause. Keep in mind that in many cases federal law supercedes state law and often these types of suits are filed in U.S. District Court.


      Before a church terminates anyone today they had better be sure that they have crossed all the T’s & dotted all the i’s.

      God teaches us that we should not take our brother to civil court but to bring the matter before the church. However the reality is that more and more churches are finding themselves in wrongful termination litigation because of ignorance of the law or the wrong idea that they are exempt from the law.

       

    13. solomon on Thu, October 14, 2004

      NO Comments

    14. Pastor Thornton on Thu, October 14, 2004

      The Pastor’s are God’s chosen, not to make an excuse for them.  I happen to be a Pastor, I made mistakes after mistakes, and I really tried hard to be perfect, and with-out error to a minimum.  I found out something, it wont work, the only we are perfect is through the maturity that Christ has given us, we are no more babes, but still able to sin and fall so short of the glory of God.  It may seem that I am trying to make an excuse for my mistakes,and the mistakes of others, but not so.  In Romans 8:1 has it that there is therefore NOW no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus!  We need to know that we condem ourselves, not the Father.  I suffered a Church split, and it just about took my life, I know that God stood with me.  I felt it was all my fault, a burden was on my shoulder you wouldn’t believe.  This happened about six months ago, now I feel I’m healed!  I still hurt because I loved them so, I guess they couldn’t comprehend a Pastor’s heart of love.  So comfort the Pastor that made a mistake.  All of us have!  We’ll have many more.  He’s human.  Comfort the Pastor and pray that God will give him to repent, and revive his relationship with the sheep that was allowed to go, and was wrongfully accused.  He might not know how to re-unite the bond, pray for direction from the Lord, and that he seeks the Lord’s face about the situation.  Imagine how I feel.  The Lord said the congregation I had was not for me, yet I still hurt every time I think of how cold humanity is when a Brother or Sister falls.  Repent and forgive, and pray for solice and closure. All in the name of Jesus!  We’re all still growing in grace.  Pastor Alice with love.

    15. MJ on Thu, October 14, 2004

      Christian Summer wrote:  ...my wife noticed one of the staff members making uncomfortable eye contact with her, which she spoke of on the way home. The day following this same gentleman called our home and told my wife that she looked very sexy on Sunday and to keep this conversation between her and him.


      Just an opinion—is this guy a stalker?!


      If this incedent really occurred and was not a wife trying to get a husband’s attention, then this was no “gentleman,” and his comments should be brought to light.  It is possible that counseling would help him, but even with counsel and prayer there is no absolute guarantee that this “gentleman” would reform.  I think it would be wise to follow the biblical strategy for conflict resolution, taking at least one witness (his pastor) or two along to establish what really happened instead of allowing for hearsay.  Confront the issue head on.  At worst, it sounds like stalking behavior.  At best, it is still completely inappropriate for any person to approach another person to make such comments, especially considering the marital status of the subject of comment.  This sounds, potentially, very dangerous for the woman in question.  To protect your wife, you should be as open as possible with people in authority over this “gentleman” in order to insure his behavior doesn’t escalate.  Who knows how many other women have been approached by him?

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