How to Estimate Church Attendance

Posted on November 23, 2009
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(7) comments

Andrew Jones (many of you know him as the TallSkinnyKiwi) recently posted an excellent and practical article on how to correctly estimate your church attendance. Here are some of his criteria:

- 50% if its a Pentecostal worship service because they count the legs and forget to divide by two.

- 30% if its a Baptist church because they count members on the roll and not all of them are still living.

- 25 % if its a Reformed church service because they count the people who SHOULD have been there.

+ 10 if its a Vineyard service because those rugs on the floor were actually people!

+ 20% if it's a fundamentalist church because they don't count the people they didn't want there.

- 10% if its a megachurch because the worship team and welcome team got counted during all 5 services.

+ 20% if it's an emergent service because those having a smoke outside were not counted.

Funny, huh? Andrew has some others for you to check out over at his blog as well!

Can you come up with any yourself?

Comments

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RevJay on Mon, November 23, 2009

Cute, but who’s counting anybody? The Holy Spirit is counting born again believers who attend with an open heart and spirit to worship the Father. We look on the outward appearance and see a man how he wants to be seen. God looks on the inside and MANY are found wanton.
Micahel Holmes on Mon, November 23, 2009

@RevJay—Rev…it was a joke. Come on…lighten up:)
Peter Hamm on Tue, November 24, 2009

RevJay.

Pentecost.

Somebody counted.

The number made it into God’s Word!

And… yes, it was humor…
Andrew jones on Wed, November 25, 2009

I am sure the congregation at rev jay’s church has never been counted. By anyone. Ever. Heh heh . .
RevJay on Wed, November 25, 2009

God counts the souls who surrender to Him. The others are just numbers that don’t amount to a hill of beans.
Baume Mercier on Thu, November 26, 2009

The Holy Spirit is counting born again believers who attend with an open heart and spirit to worship the Father.
Joe at F&J on Wed, December 09, 2009

That’s so true, and so funny Todd. Andrew’s (unfortunately) spot on, as usual.