MondayMorningInsight - Leadership & Encouragement for Church Leaders

How Would You Respond to This Lesbian?

Posted by: Todd
Posted on: Mon, September 21, 2009
Viewed 187
(63) comments so far

How would you reply to this lesbian?

I was chatting with friends the other night, and we came across the topic of Christianity.

One of my friend, let's call her A, is 31. And my other friend, B.

Me: So,how did you two (A and B) meet again?

A: We met at a church. I was a church leader and B was one of my 'students' there.

Me: (confused) Why did you stop going back to church then?

A: I didn't. They (church people) said that I must repent of my "so-called" sins. If not, I can't return there. And I didn't repent because really, what has my sexual orientation gotta do with my faith?

It's really very pathetic how Christians drive us away from church just because of our sexuality. You see, one thing I found out about these self-proclaimed Christians is that they don't really follow what the Bible says most of the time, but when it comes to the homosexuality part, yes they tend to get very serious about it. Which is, in here, discrimination again. So tell me, pastors, didn't God tell you to love your neighbor as yourself? Why do people have to make drama out of our sexual orientation and kick us out of Church when 'normal' heterosexual people cheats and lie and do all kinds of other 'evil' things?

Seriously... how would you respond?

If you're gonna type all the verses about homosexuality is a sin, stop now. Seriously. I will delete your comment. That's not what this post is about. Those have already been used on this girl. They didn't work.

Some of the comments here really give some good insight...

My question for you... doesn't she have a valid complaint that we put homosexuality up on a pedestal while we look the other way at heterosexual sins? Not always, but many times, we look at affairs and divorce as just things people go through. We sit them off the choir or praise team for a few months, then we're good.

Should/how should the church reach out to this girl?

Do we really believe she needs Jesus?

If so, how do we reach her? Seriously. How do we reach her, holding true to our beliefs that homosexuality is wrong biblically, but knowing that that will be the ONE THING in her life that will keep her from Christ.
Your thoughts?

Comments

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Robert Hook on Mon, September 21, 2009

This is not a tough one as so many would argue. We are saved by grace - undeserved favour to put it another way. We are no longer under the law - we died to the law. Therefore we should welcome her with open arms, show her the mercy of God through the death of his dear son and let her work her salvation out.

Jesus could not have made it clearer - we have all sinned so what difference does the category of sin matter?

Blessings
Creed Branson on Mon, September 21, 2009

Our response should not be that difficult if we consider where we were before God saved us. The kindness and love of God must appear before anyone is going to want anything to do with Jesus. I’m sorry that A and B saw something other than what Jesus would have shown them.
Kevin Bruursema on Mon, September 21, 2009

This is a difficult question because it involves people. The woman’s objection to returning to the church is partly right and partly misguided. If, in fact, the church turns a blind eye to heterosexual sin in leaders but shuns homosexual sin, it is out of line with biblical discipline (duh). But the more difficult part in this confrontation is the sense I gather from the person that they don’t view homosexual sex as sin. If that’s true, then the person won’t repent. And without repentance there can be no restoration to leadership or membership. Ala Matthew 18, a loving appeal needs to be made to the woman to repent and reenter accountable, restorative relationsgip w/ a church leader. Let’s not forget that she was sexually involved with a student. Were it a man and a minor girl, it would have been in the local papers.
Noel Heikkinen on Mon, September 21, 2009

Easily once a month (including yesterday), I talk with someone at our church about this issue. Because of this, I taught on it a few years ago and while I won’t bore you with the message, my favorite part was an interview with a former lesbian who ended up on staff at our church. If you want to watch the interview, you can find it here (in really crappy video quality): http://www.noelheikkinen.com/2008/05/24/the-morning-fog/ She hit the issue way better than I could.
Perry Wilhite on Mon, September 21, 2009

How we respond has a lot to do with whether she is a believe or not. If she is not, then we should show her nothing but love. Letting her know that we have a God that loves us no matter what our sexual preferences are giving tme to grow in the grace and the knowledge and the love of our Lord Jesus.
If she is a believer then I think she needs to LOVINGLY be made aware of what the Bible says about homosexuality. It appears she already knows what the Bible says about it, and yet she remains openly defiant and rebellious to God’s Word, then I believe the church has no option but to exercise some sort of church discipline.
Dave on Mon, September 21, 2009

As Kevin mentions, where’s the concern about teacher/student relationships? I know that the article does not mention the age of the student, but last week Todd posted a story about laws in Minnesota and Texas that prohibit any clergy/parisioner sexual involvement. It appears that “A” is looking for an excuse to do as she pleases without consequence. (of course, I must humbly admit I don’t have the whole story)
CindyK on Mon, September 21, 2009

This is an issue that makes me angry. I sin on a daily basis, try as I might not too. I am still loved and accepted, just the way that Jesus would have loved and accepted me. I am not in the business of deciding which ‘sin’ is worse than another.

It is not my job to judge anyone. It is my job to show the love and grace that Jesus shows me. Why does this seem so hard to do when it’s about this issue?
Robert Hook on Mon, September 21, 2009

Hii CindyK

I concur totally. The problem some people seem to have is this idea that repented sin means doing it no more. But that is not what Paul was saying in Romans when he bemoans the fact that despite all his best intentions and the blood of Christ redeeming him, he stills sins. His response is worth tattooing on our hearts - who will save me - thanks be to God - THROUGH Christ Jesus

So if this is the case then you are right - it is the issue and I am blowed as to why that should be such a sensitive issue when we never talk about the sin of pride in such terms. A sin that God ranks highest of all.
Gary Humble on Mon, September 21, 2009

I really like and agree with Kevin’s comments here. The key for me is the heart of repentance. It’s no different with someone who is involved in an affair, a drug addiction, a pornography addiction, etc, etc and is unrepentant about their behavior.

I’m not sure that I would go so far as to remove them from the the church body. There would have to have been some pretty serious offenses made. Which in this case, a leader getting involved with a student (and a homosexual involvement just makes it that much more offensive) would certainly qualify in my book.

I believe that we always have to choose grace initially. But there does come a point where we have to be responsible as a shepherd. In most cases, I don’t have an issue with sinners in the church. If that were the case, I couldn’t attend myself. However, there are sins that carry greater consequences than others and sins that may disqualify one from serving and/or leading in the church.
John Harvey on Mon, September 21, 2009

The issue is with unrepentant sin. If a church tolerates unrepentant sin from anyone without loving correction, the church is wrong. The fact that this woman was in leadership in a church and had any kind of sexual relationship with any person of any gender who is not her husband is sin and therefore the church must deal with it as it should a heterosexual sin. Yes, the church needs to love her and show her grace. But grace is extended when repentance is offered. This couple is defiant, not repentant.
Pete on Mon, September 21, 2009

CindyK

It is important to remember, as Dave pointed out, that Jesus, and Paul, told us to judge each other in the church,i.e. holding each other accountable for our daily walk with Him; after humbly “taking the log out of our own eye”
However, maybe as you meant, judging outside the church, e.g. non Christians, is reserved for God only !!
Robert Hook on Mon, September 21, 2009

This debate highlights the dilemma within the Christian faith. Do we judge or leave it to God?

If we judge then why did Christ die?

And if we wait until God judges, then how do we as Shepherds manage in the meantime.

There is no answer. We each have our own degree of faith, love and understanding and bring these to such issues.

To argue from scripture is as we see fruitless. So let us keep these issues in tension and lets not try to collapse the tension by taking sides.

But moist of all we need to recognize that people will judge us by the way we love one another, not by how well we kept the rules
CK on Mon, September 21, 2009

This is not difficult.

You treat her as should any other Christian in sin. You love, rebuke, love, admonish, love, correct, and get them back on track. Just because the church has been weak on this with a porn addict doesn’t mean the correct answer is to be weak on it with homosexuals. The correct action is to not be weak on it with the porn addict, not the other way around.
Helen B. on Mon, September 21, 2009

Of course we all sin, daily. The issue I have with any sin is flaunting it in the face of everyone and God. Sin is to be repented, daily, and if we are believers who repent and humble ourselves before God, we are part of HIs body. If we flaunt our sin, refuse to repent and make a mockery of Christ’s sacrifice then, we burn in hell. Plain and simple. If homosexuals repent and do not flaunt and live lives of humbleness, we should accept them and love them. We need to show love to gays no matter what. We must be careful not to be a party to their overt flaunting of sin and that applies to ANY sin.
Perry Wilhite on Mon, September 21, 2009

It is common, yet silly statement to say we should not judge one another! If we did not judge one another: we would have to let anyone babysit our kids regardless of their qualifications. Every child in school would recieve an A regardless of their efforts. And yes, sin would have to be tolerated in the church no matter how offensive it is. I’m not sure I would want the man who kidnapped Jaycee Lee Dugard as a Sunday School teacher at my church!