Let’s Play… the Family Feud!
- Posted by: Todd
- Posted on: Sun, June 05, 2005
- Viewed 96
- (23) comments so far
I am one that enjoys a good debate; and I've always found that good discussion is like 'iron sharpening iron'; but recently it seems that much of the debate and comments on the blog have turned very negative; sometimes downright ugly. This past week, it finally got to a point that I determined there needed to be some ground rules. My reasoning is that people will not continue to come back to a blog that is unmoderated, where they are personally attacked for sharing their concerns, views, and ideas.
You see, I want the MMI Blog to be a place where we can all gather throughout the week to be challenged, encouraged, and supported in the ministryand word God has called us to. That doesn't mean there isn't room for disagreement; but disagreement needs to be expressed within a proper framework and with carefully worded statements, in love. So today at the blog (not here) I am introducing some new, hopefully common sense rules that will make sure all will be heard, and all will be respected in our blogging community.
It's hard to put into words exactly what I'm hoping the blog will become. I did, however find a great example of the tone and style that I'm hoping to achieve there. In his blog, Darryl Dash at Dashhouse.com describes going to his demonination's annual meeting and hearing James MacDonald speak. Listen to how Darryl describes there differences in an entry he calls "Learning from James MacDonald...
I spent this week listening to five messages from James MacDonald. James and I are very different. He is a megachurch pastor; I am not. He is not emerging; I appreciate parts of the emerging church conversation. He has an entourage; I do not. Mostly, we differ a lot on style and personality, which really isn't that important.
Here's what I learned from him this week, and why I appreciated him:
1. We are not unique - James loves to confront the church on where it has accommodated culture. He did a great talk on how we are not unique and we need to stop our self-absortion and quest for self-fulfilment. He made some good points here. No matter how much we critique our therapeutic culture, we still carry some of that into our faith. This was a good reminder that it really isn't about us.
2. Don't soften the hard edges - Sometimes you get the sense that we try to soften the hard edges of the Bible. James refuses to do this. I think (and I could be wrong) that some of us have become comfortable challenging churches with hard truths, but we're not as comfortable stating hard truths to the culture at large. We need to be able to do both. I learned and saw this in James' life. He doesn't soften the message for anybody.
3. Don't complicate simple issues - James can be faulted, I think, for sometimes oversimplifying complex issues. I could be faulted, I think, for overcomplicating simple issues. I think I can learn from him.
4. Live what you say - James was talking about personal integrity and holiness. He said that he has filters on his computer and his home TV has a code that only his wife knows. It was nice to see someone talk about this and to admit that he's put stuff in his own life to prevent him from doing things he preaches against.
5. Don't confuse style and substance - James is conservative in doctrine but quite flexible in style. It was good for him to demonstrate that we shouldn't confuse issues of style and substance. The two don't go together.
6. Appreciate those who are wired differently - Despite James teaching that we are not all unique, it's quite clear that James could be nobody else but James. One of the best moments of self-awareness came when he outlined three styles of teaching, and acknowledged that any one style (including his - prophetic and confrontational) needs the others. I was glad to see James realize that he needed others with different styles. This is a good insight for all of us.
7. Communication styles are changing - I don't know what this means, but James is the more old-style tell-it-like-it-is preacher, and isn't primarily conversational. He seems to have a strong following among younger generations. Maybe there is a shift away from conversational speaking styles back to proclamational. This might be a trend worth watching.
8. Love your wife - James gave the best message I've ever heard to men on marriage. It would be hard to walk away and not be challenged in a positive way.
9. Make room for men in the church - James doesn't seem to lack testosterone. He might go the other way, but he made some good points about churches being more feminine than masculine (flowers, sappy songs). Worth thinking about.
I think we can learn from those who are different from us. These are some of the ways I benefited from someone this week who is very different than I am.
Darryl describes how he was able to learn and find positive things about someone he really wasn't thrilled about listening to in the first place. Matters of personality and style sometimes are easier to talk about that differences in theology and belief systems, but I would hope that we can find the same inspiration and humble attitude as we interact with each other. This is the type of atmosphere I hope to foster at the MMI Blog.
So stop by the blog often (I'm planning to increase the number of posts as my time allows), read some things that are new, exciting and challenging in the church; and respond, knowing that we, together, will encourage and support each other in the work God has called us to!
OK... here are the ground rules:
1. Stick to the subject. All discussions to the blog will need to stay on topic. Anything deviating too much from the topic will either be deleted (by me) or considered for a new blog entry. Seems fair, right?
2. Keep it Short. Each person will be allowed to post up to 5 comments per blog topic (I think this is quite liberal). These should be kept as short as possible.
3. Don't Get Personal. There will be zero tolerance for personal attacks. Zero.
4. Three Strikes and You're Out. I'll start banning people who take too much liberty with the blog rules. If you can't play nice, you'll have to leave your ball and go home.
5. Feel Free to Disagree, but... There will be room to discuss different thoughts and ideas... and to disagree. I will continue to tap into controversial topics from time to time and allow for input, but the input will not turn ugly or judgemental. If need be, come back and read how Darryl responded above. Be gracious and kind, even when disagreeing.
That's it... short and sweet. I really hope that this will set the stage for the blog to continue to grow and honor God through our community.
Have a great week!
Todd A. Rhoades
Webmaster - ChurchStaffing.com
FOR DISCUSSION: You can see the new blog rules at the end of this post at today's blog. What do you think of Darryl's comments above? Why is it so difficult to find the positive things in someone/something and so easy to find the negatives? Let's hear your comments...
About ten months ago, in September of 2004, I decided it would be a great idea to start a blog. Early adopter that I am, I plunged head over heals into the blog concept, promoting the new “Monday Morning Insight Blog” as a regular part of this newsletter, and as an extension of ChurchStaffing.com. We’ve covered some pretty interesting and controversial ministry subjects at the blog every day over the past few months; and slowy I’ve come to learn something very important: not everyone agrees with one another about ministry techniques, about methods, about theology; and sometimes it seems, people don’t agree on much of anything.
Comments
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Dean on Mon, June 06, 2005
It seems that although last week was both trying and somewhat disappointing, the Spirit has been at work helping you to clarify some ground rules that will help all of us seek higher ground in our dialogue on the blog. Thank you. Your thoughtfulness and willingness to monitor and screen comments may annoy some, but I agree with your approach. God bless.
Dean
Kent on Mon, June 06, 2005
I believe that there is a blanket of negativity in our culture, and this also infects believers. I also believe it is because of the pervasive anxiety that we experience. No matter how good things are, we still are concerned. No matter the advancement, there is a caution. Anxiety breeds negativity. Actually I am having a good day.
Kermit P. Soileau on Mon, June 06, 2005
Robert Frost said, “Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.” He has perhaps struck a chord as to the great rivalry between ministers - ego. Most ministers strive to present the truth of God’s Word as best they can to the people to whom they minister. The honest, hard work which that process requires sometimes makes one think that he/she has done all that can be done. There is a natural tendancy to defend what we have worked hard to achieve - particularly because it is so personal to the minister.
I have learned over many years to view each person I meet, not just other ministers, as an opportunity to have my own life and experience enriched. The most conservative or the most liberal of opinions may contain some grain of truth which can contribute to my learning process. It will not change my stand on the basics of Christianity, but it may help me to approach others in a more effective manner.
One thing I never forget: I am dealing with human beings for whom Christ died. For that reason, I grant to EVERY person I meet the dignity and respect that our Lord would. No one is the Christian he/she ought to be if the exchange of ideas with another person produces the attitude that the other person is of no value (Matthew 5:21ff).
Bill on Mon, June 06, 2005
I like the new rules, they seem to make sense. And I would like to add that we all need to remember that just because our egos support some position doesn’t mean that God supports that position. I have changed my views on enough points to know that at least sometimes when I was certain I was right, I had to be wrong, maybe all the times.
Pastor Bill on Mon, June 06, 2005
Excellent!
Can the eye say to the hand “I am more usefull than you” YES he can but that does not make it true! We need mega church pastors and we need the small church that still houses over 95% of the Church body.
Unfortunately the Mega Church pastors get to be heard more in the general public. The reason for this is very clear—The WORLD—looks to what appears to be successful because of the size or numbers and sees that success as “a bigger voice.”
I believe in the local church as the feeding place for the saints. Not all of us need the big successful look to know we are successful.
Thank God for the Mega Church Pastor as he fulfills a need in the Church. Thank God for the Local Church pastor as he fulfills a need in the Church— Thank God
StephenS on Mon, June 06, 2005
“...truthing in love” (Eph. 4:15)
... It seems to me there is a place for truth to be spoken, but that there is no place for truth that is divorced from love (which in fact is not truth at all, but contentiousness at best), and that there is no place for love that is divorced from truth (which in fact is not love at all, but permissiveness at best). So it seems this is yet another aspect of life to be lived in balance—especially as we communicate with our brothers and sisters in ministry.
If it’s true that “Love takes time,” maybe the wisest course for some of us to take would be to discipline ourselves to wait before whipping out a retortive reply of self-perceived “righteous rightness”—to wait for the Holy Spirit to speak truth to us through the words we read, to wait for the Spirit to fill us with love and then write a truthful response out of that love.
Todd, I believe you are striving to keep on a balanced track. Keep up the good work.
Pastor Steve on Mon, June 06, 2005
Thank you for the rules! I’d like to offer just one consideration to the rule about keeping things short, however. A couple of weeks ago the blog dealt with the subject of the abusive pastor. Dr. Jim Dyke was able to give some extensive help regarding some of the issues our church has been facing. His responses were quite lengthy. Would it be inappropopriate for a blog that, although lengthy, dealt with the issue under discussion so thoroughly and insightfully that it might be posted regardless of length?
I have to say that this has been a great forum for thought and expression and am glad for the ground rules. I will certainly abide by them.
SPCT on Mon, June 06, 2005
Hi Todd,
Ground rules are good. Every established board has them (or should if they don’t!) Like a Statement of Faith, they provide a snapshot of where the community’s ideology is coming from which is most helpful (by the way, I haven’t seen your statement of faith. Is it on here somewhere? I did look a while back. Please direct us to it—I don’t know my way around here so good.)
And yet, “If I say: I won’t mention Him or speak any longer in His name, His message becomes a fire burning in my heart, shut up in my bones. I become tired of holding it in, and I cannot prevail.” Jer 20:9
You commented that, “I’ve allowed a small group to hijack this blog so that the pastors and church staff people (unrepentant and useless as we are) that I’m trying to reach are not coming back anymore.” As I am a youth pastor, perhaps I am not of the ilk you are seeking. So be it and I can accept that! Therefore, I, for one, appreciate your generous spirit in directing us to blog templates that we may use to air views which may not be compatible with yours. This is your sandbox and these are your toys and you have every right to establish the rules of your game, if you’ll pardon the analogy.
I hope you will endulge me, my brother-in-Christ, and answer some questions for me on establishing a blog that can present some of the views we’ve heard here. I would like to email you later directly with some questions, okay?
In the meantime, BeHim, Michael, pdl, Ellen, Ricky, et al, I would love your input on this new blog. Perhaps, if he is willing, it could even feed into Todd’s as “The Rant” or some such thing! Please, if you would, email me with your thoughts.
Thank you, Todd, for providing this forum and I’m thanking you in advance for any direction you could provide in establishing a dialogue that a good portion of the Body of Christ feels needs to be had.
No hard feelings, gang, whatsoever, right? What’s been said still needs to be said somewhere, “For our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the world powers of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavens.” Eph. 6:12.
God’s good blessings on you all. To God be the glory forever.
Pastor Bill on Mon, June 06, 2005
I like the Idea of rules Todd, but you know what might happen when you take or limit “freedom of speech” from some—so be prepared.
I personally believe there is toooooooo much DEBATE in the Church TODAY. We tend to fight or worse YET, argue over things that have nothing to do with SALVATION. I have learned one thing for sure in my Christian walk with God. “I do not have to be right ALL THE TIME.”
There will always be those who will disagree just for the sake of being disagreeable as it fills a need in their souls.
Your insights on the Pastor showed me that a heart ready to receive TRUTH is a heart made ready by God through His Holy Spirit.
Blessings
PB
Rich Viel on Mon, June 06, 2005
Wow, what a difference! Maybe its just me but compared to Friday’s comments, today’s are a breath of fresh air. Todd, it seems that your new guidelines have already produced a fresh spirit of generosity. I checked out Darryl’s blog and thought you might want to also post the article on Bonehoffer’s Blogging Rules. Some great food for thought there, I think. Thanks for digging up some great topics that often challenge my way of thinking.
Rich
Len on Mon, June 06, 2005
This is my first post on MMI and I will say that I can appreciate the rules. I don’t really hear any limitations, just simple guidelines. We see “brief and to the point” all throughout scripture (i.e. look at James)… It’s just a bit more difficult for us to sometimes stand on a smaller “soapbox.” And if we truly aspire to live a Christ-like life, we then must try to approach others and how we express our version of the truth, in love and sensativity.
This does not mean we water down our opinions, but rather that we express our thoughts and passions in Christ rather than solely through our own emotion - many times easier said than done. Not to mention checking our own versions of “the truth” against the Biblical backdrop - and even that can generate differing opinions. :o)
Personally I love good debate and colorful discussion. We never know what can be learned if we attempt to get past our own preferences and opinions. I look forward to participating in future blogging.
Hebrews 13:7
Pete King on Mon, June 06, 2005
Todd,
I just wanted to say thanks for setting up ground rules. I really think your plan is fair and will help reach your goals for this Blog. I really appreciate what you do and completely understand where you are coming from. Once again, thanks for all your help. I thank God for what your Blog has done. I’m praying for this ministry. God bless.
Harry Miller on Mon, June 06, 2005
My suggestion and something I am trying to learn is get the green light from God before you say something.
Larry on Mon, June 06, 2005
Todd,
I know that you have not made the changes so that people will thank you but, thanks for having the courage to do it. I am one of those who stopped responding due to the anger, bitterness and at times hateful reponses. Knowledge is very important but as I examine the scripture, I also read that the “fruit of the Spirit is love,...kindess..etc. and so therefore the measure of our spiritual lives and whether what we are doing and saying is of God is not just our knowledge but also how much of the fruit of the Spirit is evident in our actions and words. I appreciate your ministry Todd.
Thanks
Larry
pjlr on Mon, June 06, 2005
Todd: Have you considered just doing a dailly “open thread.” WORLD magazine has one daily and people can “fish” for comments and responses on just about any topic. If this were to be done, those of us who want to stay on topic on a particular thread can refer “hijackers” to the open thread so they can post to their hearts content.
Just a thought
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