One Year After the Affair: A Pastor Shares His Heart
- Posted on May 19, 2008
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As you can also attest, this has been the hardest two years of my life, with this past year especially crushing. With the help of our Lord, a dear Christian counselor, some medication, and a few close people in my life, I am seeing light at the end of a self-inflicted tunnel.
This is not the life path I would have chosen for myself or dear family...no one wakes up and decides, “today I will destroy my life and do harm to those around me.” This path was a gradual one with many calls from God to stop, which I did not heed. HE was faithful. I was not.
The Bible says that when sin is fully formed, it yields death. So much has died in and around my life. What I cling to these days is the belief that God specializes in resurrections. He brings life to places there was once death.
Calvary Community Church, I loved you; and in many ways, served you well. My legacy, however, is one of failure and sin. I can’t undo that.
I can only walk with Christ in authenticity--no longer hiding imperfections and failures, but living truthfully--honestly and with integrity (inside and outside matching). Will you see sin in my life? Yes. Am I striving to grow in Christ? Yes.
What I MUST do is offer this public confession, my sincere apology and my heartfelt request for your forgiveness.
With Sorrow...and yet with hope, Brad Johnson
You can read this letter, and about Brad’s restoration process at his blog...
FOR YOUR INPUT: What do you think?
Brad Johnson is a great communicator and had a bright future as a pastor. That all ended when he admitted to an affair one year ago this month. What follows is an open letter that Brad wrote to his elders and church family on the one year anniversary of his departure. Brad writes:
One year ago today, I spoke for the last time at Calvary. For the first time since I was 17, I have gone a year and have not spoken in a church, not served in a church, not volunteered in a church, and have not been asked to...just months ago, I began attending a church again (sit in the back, head down, annonymous.)
It seems like the one year mark would be a good time and place to write this letter. I am so sorry for the pain and emotional upheaval my life and actions have caused you and the precious bride of Christ.
I'm sorry for the deceptions, the irresponsibility, and the sin of adultery that came from my life and infected others. I assume full responsibility for my actions with no excuses and no rationalizations.
Comments
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tactical scopes on Tue, November 04, 2008
Brad, I think you deserve forgiveness. We are all human beings, and all of us to err. I support you in this open letter. Everyone once understood that he believes in Christ. It does not matter that it was before. The main thing is that you’ve fixed his mistake and believe in the future. God bless you
Keith on Tue, November 04, 2008
I think the issue IS and continues to be… what does it mean “you’ve “fixed” this mistake?”
The hardest part about this my friend is going to be discovering if you “have” fixed this as it were. I’m not talking about preaching, I’m not talking about leading others. I’m talking about THOSE IN AUTHORITY over you speaking that is is now “fixed.”
From what I’ve read and understood… you have left those who were “over you” and you have opted to not listen to their advice nor have you listened to anyone “over you” who has given you advice on actions to take.
When you don’t follow these kinds of advice and go off and do your own thing, you will always wonder in your quiet moments, though I doubt you’ll ever express it to others… “Am I okay?” The reason? Mainly because you got into this mess by disobeying God and leadership that was over you, as well as the men God gave you to guide you away from this relationship.
Now, when you put yourself back into ministry on your own, without any of those voices in agreement it begs the question - what’s different? You put yourself into this bad situation before? How do you know you’re not doing exactly the same thing again? You seem to be practicing exactly what got you into this mess. Doing what you feel is right without the counsel of those who are more mature than you.
I saw someone ask you this. Who, that is truly an older, wiser mentor in Christ has told you these actions were right? You feel like you have the inner witness, but where is the unity of the outer witness?
You may be forgiven, but the question is are you restored yet? I pray you will be - some day. However, it looks like you’ve gone off on your own with the woman you committed adultry with and now have started a new church with her. I pray again, God will help you see the truth before this gets worse.
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Craig S. Allen, MA, LMFT on Tue, September 21, 2010
Thank you for the Honesty, Courage, and Trusting in HIM.
God Bless.
In times of stress counseling can help. There is no shame in asking for help during hard times.
Christian Counseling, Marriage and Pre-marital Counseling in Minneapolis, MN
We offer a free 30 minute initial consultation. We encourage you to contact us to learn more about our services. Please call us at 763-404-8600. We are located at 3025 Harbor Lane Suite 221, Plymouth, MN 55447.
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