Monday Morning Insights

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    To the Media:  “Stop Making Us Christians Look Stupid”

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    While I don’t watch much TV, I will admit that I watched this episode with two of my children; my 11 year old daughter and my 9 year old son.  For some reason, they really like to watch the show; and I do think it’s valuable for them to see how different families interact and live.  This show was, of course, a contrast of two extreme families:  one very serious about their faith (they not only pray as a family before meals; but before school, and bedtime; had a couple dozen crosses on their walls; didn’t let their children go out with friends and only go to church; and even ran their household by ‘man rules’, since the man is the head of the house).  The atheists were just as devout; and very anti-christian.

    OK, I’ve painted the picture.  Now for the press release.  Bill Johnson, the president of the American Decency Association said the show portrayed the Christian mom as “oppressive and narrow-minded” and the atheist mom as “normal, rational, and open-minded”.

    Well, duh.

    Johnson says he feels, “more mockery than respect for those beliefs was depicted.”

    Again, duh.

    Also, the ADA president points out, the atheist family’s activities—including attending strip clubs—were documented without bias, while narration referring to rules set down by the Christian mom for her household’s children describes those rules as “controlling.”

    And the motives of the networks are usually suspect when it comes to portraying people of religious faith, he adds.

    Well, yeah.

    My question… did the family involved, or the ADA really think that the show would give them a fair shake?

    Did they mention a very judgmental ‘christian’ mom who immediately cast judgment on the show before she even met the new family?

    Did they mention that the way the ‘christian’ family presented the man being the head of the household and king of the roost was presented by the ‘christian’ family itself?  All the things that were said about Christianity were said by the ‘christian’ family themselves.

    Why do we expect non-christians to look at us and all our ‘rules’ and behaviors that are totally out of their norm and want to be like us?  In reality, this family did look exclusive and narrow.  But, so did the atheist family.

    I found the show an incredible teaching moment for my children.  They need to know a few things:

    1.  Many people don’t know Jesus.  And many families need to know Him desperately. 

    2.  We need to see how the world really views us.  I realize better after the show how difficult it is to reach people like this atheist family.  And a good amount of info on how NOT to reach them.

    3.  There is a need to start teaching our children how to love the ‘athiests’ of the world and tell them about Christ without alienating them.

    And yes, the show was incredibly biased against Christians.  I’m not arguing that point.  It was.  But my question is, ‘what do we expect’; and ‘why should we expect it to be any differently?’

    Isn’t this the same type of slam job the atheist family would’ve gotten if a Christian group did a show like this?

    Sadly, I think it is…

    FOR DISCUSSION:

    How do the unsaved in your community view you and your church?

    Do you expect the unsaved in your community to give you and your church a fair shake?  Why or why not?

    What is the best way to reach those who are not yet Christians?  Is it to post a press release demanding they treat you better and telling other Christians to have nothing to do with them until they do?

    About the Author: Todd Rhoades is the Managing Editor and Publisher of MondayMorningInsight.com (MMI as most of us know it). Besides spending a good amount of time maintaining this website, Todd is on the staff of Leadership Network, helping large churches to better connect, innovate, and multiply what they do best. Todd was also the founder of ChurchStaffing.com, until he sold the site in 2005. Todd lives with his wife, Dawn, and four children in Bryan, OH. He can be reached at .

    I came across an interesting press release over the weekend. It all came about as reaction from a recent episode of the TV series “”. If you’re not familiar with the show, WifeSwap takes two very different families and exchanges the mothers from both families for two weeks. The first week, the mothers have to live with the rules of the new house they find themselves in. Then in the final week, the new mother can change all the rules and run the new household like she would her own. The controversy that lead up to this press release was an episode a couple of weeks ago that featured an overtly Christian family and one of atheists...

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    1. Brent on Mon, January 22, 2007

      Unfortunately, many of the Christian families who have participated in ‘Wife Swap’ don’t need any help making themselves look condescending, controlling, or narrow-minded.  Sometimes you’ll see a Christian family that seems to get it right, and they are well-presented on the show.  I love watching the show because it reminds me that not everyone out there is like me, and it helps me keep my prejudices in check (I hope).

    2. Leonard on Mon, January 22, 2007

      #1)  The people who know us love us but honestly, if we dissappeard tomorrow I don’t think the community would know.  When we started we said before we were 7 we wanted to make sure we did something in this community regularly that would be missed if we ever stopped.  We aren’t there yet but were trying.


      #2)  We never think about it.  I actually think the question were it considered by our leadership with foresight would circumvent grace.  Grace is not about a fair shake in return is is much bigger.  I am actually glad we do not consider that as a part of our thinking.  It also is good for us to not get a fair shake from time to time.  Kind of reminds us this is not our home. 


      #3 No it does not help.  It’s stupid.

    3. Brian on Mon, January 22, 2007

      I have never watched a full episode, but saw clips of one episode where the “new” mom was busy screaming, “I’m a God-warrior!” and throwing the children out of the house until she could calm down.  It didn’t help that she a lazy eye or something that kept looking away - to be totally honest, it made her look demonic…


      It was completely freaky.


      My guess is that there is little effort to find rational Christians and a lot of effort to find those who typify the stereotypes that are mocked.


      And as Brent said, these people don’t need any help to make themselves come across as laughable, and worse yet, fanatical (in the worst sense of the word).


      And just as sad, I can hear some of these people saying that we shouldn’t be concerned with how we look to the word, because we are not of it.


      My response, however, is that the early church in Acts is portrayed as having a positive reputation in the community because of their devotion to Christ and their concern for the welfare of the members, and Paul says in at least 3 places that we are to have positive reputations in the community, especially if we want to be leaders in the church.


      What’s that got to do with anything?  Only that those who choose to participate in these shows need to be people who will accurately reflect Christ and His concern for the lost rather than their own fanaticism.  They need to understand that extra effort is needed to defy the stereotypes and reinforce Biblical Christianity.


      Brian

    4. Wendi on Mon, January 22, 2007

      Leonard said:


      Leonard said:


      [The people who know us love us but honestly, if we disappeared tomorrow I don’t think the community would know.]


      Ouch!!!  That really stings (in a good way).  I’m applying this to the setting of “WifeSwap,” and I’m wondering, if this Christian family moved off of their block, would the neighbors feel a void?  If we moved, would ours? 


      I saw this episode, and agree with Todd, the Christian family earned the exclusive and narrow label.  But it doesn’t make for very good ratings if they’d picked an average Christian family living life “in but not of.”


      And the ADA response IMO, only adds fuel to the fire of bad public impressions of Christians.  Let’s not demand a fair shake, lets instead earn respect by respecting (while not agreeing with) those who have different views and beliefs.


      Wendi

    5. sb on Mon, January 22, 2007

      “3.  There is a need to start teaching our children how to love the ‘athiests’ of the world and tell them about Christ without alienating them.”


      Atheists might have a field day with the seeming condescension in this remark, quotation marks around “athiests” notwithstanding. Excellent central point though.

    6. bryonm on Mon, January 22, 2007

      These people were handpicked because they were already kind of at odds and quirky. That makes good entertainment. I have an idea: turn off your TV. Let’s quit indulging ourselves in the dysfunction of others. Maybe we’ll lose our appetite for trash.


      Go read a book.

    7. homer on Mon, January 22, 2007

      How do the unsaved in your community view you and your church?


      The unsaved in our community view us the same way we see them.  We don’t and they don’t.  We are stuck firmly in the 1950’s and since the world has changed they no longer matter.  So the world has returned the favor and we no longer matter to them.


      At best we are just one of many possibilities for momentary assistance when they are faced with an immediate financial crisis.  And over all the majority of the church have accepted that role as being a preferred outcome.


      Do you expect the unsaved in your community to give you and your church a fair shake?  Why or why not?


      No.


      We haven’t earned the right to receive a fair shake.  We see our mission to ministering the chosen few who come and give to the financial or political event of the moment.


      What is the best way to reach those who are not yet Christians?  Is it to post a press release demanding they treat you better and telling other Christians to have nothing to do with them until they do?


      I don’t know, maybe by going into the market place of ideas and practicing mercy.  Jesus said that we would be persecuted but we don’t have to make it so easy for it to happen.  We no longer build schools, hospitals, orphanages, but we build radio and television towers to promote our agenda.


      We hire lobbyist to see our voice is heard in the halls of government. 


      Maybe if we cared less about our rights and more about our honor may then we might have a better grasp on winning the world for God. 


      Maybe Monday isn’t the best day to ask this question.

    8. Tye Male on Mon, January 22, 2007

      #2 Do you expect the unsaved in your community to give you and your church a fair shake?  Why or why not?


      No. I expect to be mistreated and not understood. How in the world can we expect the unbelievers to espouse our views when it really isn’t possible in the first place - “spiritual discernment.” I didn’t either before I trusted Christ.


      #3 - What is the best way to reach those who are not yet Christians?  Is it to post a press release demanding they treat you better and telling other Christians to have nothing to do with them until they do?


      I will never reach prechristians by telling them how wrong they are. I believe our job is to “let our light so shine before men….” Maybe this atheistic family would be inclined to examine the truth claims of Christ if we were to stop ranting about the treatment we receive from Hollywood (duh!) and start demonstrating the love of Christ to them in tangible ways.

    9. Peter D on Mon, January 22, 2007

      There are what many would refer to as “freaks” in every walk of life, Christian or Atheist or whatever category you want to choose.  We tend to want to be entertained by all the abnormalities in society.  But the truth be known, we are all guilty of being hypocritical at some point, regardless of or religious or other beliefs.  Thankfully, God Forgives, and we can move forward…..or not?

    10. kent on Mon, January 22, 2007

      Bryonm is right, the people on those shows are frindge people. The are chosen because they “out there”. I don’t have anyone running around my church screaming thaty they are a God warrior, and i would be a little freaked out if I did. I also have many non-Christian friends and none of them think a family outing includes a strip club.


      As to how do non-Christians think of our chruch? Honestly they don’t. We are not even their radar. We are not lumped in with the lunatics. We are invisible. Or they have had their children to come to our event and then they like us.


      For the most part people are reasonable. Our experience is that they do give us a fair shake. If we participate in a community event they do not treat us as if we have third eye or drool, they like the help. But while we are passionate about our faith we do not try to make ourselves the story. We are not embarrassed by our faith, but we are not going to try to be the center piece.


      It never gets lighter by cursing the darkness. No press releases or complaints. Everyone has critics, we are not the only group that get hammered. Do something that benefits the community, that is how you gain credibility.

    11. Texmom on Mon, January 22, 2007

      This quote is from the Christian mom after taping the show (from ABC website):


      “ Thanks ABC for opening my eyes about not judging people on the way they looked, but actually getting to know them first. That’s how I have grown as a Christian. Christ says he looks at the inner but not the outer. I am a better Christian!! Thanks again RDF Media for giving us this opportunity.”


      I always watch the show, because they both often learn at least one positive thing to take home. Of course, they choose very extreme opposites to “fire up” the show. However, I found the atheist family on this show to be just as extreme. I mean, how many people have stripper poles in their homes???


      That said, there is no question that the media usually portrays Christians as fanatic nutcases to be laughed at, and chooses the most extreme examples they can find.


      I think the unsaved in the community see Christians in today’s culture as they have been presented by the media, including the internet blogs…as very narrow-minded, delusional people who believe in fairy tales. Anyone who believes in anything that can’t be found in a science textbook is thought to be totally ignorant.

    12. Wayne Cook on Mon, January 22, 2007

      Two things come to mind for me…


      First, is that we are in a direct opposite position from the world…Romans 12:1-2, we are admonished not to be conformed to this culture, this age, this society…we think differently, we live differently, etc.  If we don’t, we cannot be salt and light which is the opposite of the darkness and lack of preservation needed in this society.


      Secondly, was this purely an exercise in rule keeping or was there a sincere love and devotion to Christ and the needs of the people involved.


      We cannot expect the world’s entertainment establishment to treat Christ and His people as anything else but abnormal…they think they are normal.

    13. Rev. Donald E. Paul Jr on Mon, January 22, 2007

      There is a need by the church to stop being so Pious and high and mighty when dealing with the world and beating them with all the rules of Christianity and start showing the Love of God to them and by showing the works of his mighty hand by praying for the sick and doing the work of God thats what Jesus did and the Deciples and the sinner man came looking for them that’s what happened during the revival of 1800 in Logan and Bourbon County Kentucky and thats what happened on Azusa Street in California in the 1900’s God Showed up and showed his mighty hand working through a man who would let him receive all the Glory

    14. Peter Hamm on Mon, January 22, 2007

      People who follow Jesus but aren’t “wacky” (such as many if not all of those who are reading and posting here) won’t get ratings. That’s why they pick the fringe folks to pick on. They are more interesting. I am boring by comparison.

    15. Ima Freeman on Mon, January 22, 2007

      Instead of “To the Media: ‘Stop Making Us Christians Look Stupid’” how about “To Ourselves: ‘Stop Making Us Look Stupid.’” I recently picked up on a (for me) cool definition of ‘glorifying God’: to enhance God’s reputation in the world. Too often too many Christians don’t live out their faith in such a way as to enhance His reputation and cause non-believers to want to follow him. What, in that Christian family’s life, would entice non-believers to want to know more about God? Nada…nothing…zilch. We’ve been given the keys to the kingdom and what do we do? Find ways to lock others out. Exclusivity is the name of the game for some Christians. The media doesn’t help us much. But sometimes, we don’t help ourselves either.

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