Monday Morning Insights

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    We’re Not Called To Quit!

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    In my last year of college I took Homiletics and Pastoral Theology. Both of those classes comprised the “serious pastoral ministries track students”.  It wasn’t a huge class - just six of us in total actually.  Of those six - one is an itinerant evangelist and I’m the only one in full time ministry.  Two realized after our courses that they were not called but had merely aspired to pastoral work.  Two others interned and quit.

    One of them, Dave, and I caught up when I was in between ministries (trying to swear off ministry on purpose).  He told me their stories.  They both were close and interned in different churches.  They both quit because of “church politics.” You have to understand we - felt that these two capable preachers were truly called.  A call affirmed by their churches, by our prof, by our class, others in their lives and they felt a real sense of call as well.  But 1 year in - they left.

    In my 12 years it took my to get my ministry degree (long story - maybe I’ll tell it sometime but that alone should indicate some sense of call), I saw a LOT of potential youth ministers come and go.  Many of them wild and crazy and gifted beyond belief.  Most of the ones I know of from my Bible School days - are lay workers in the church after having pastored for about one year to two years.

    When I’ve caught up with them, they prefer working in the youth ministries where they can avoid “constantly being questioned” about their motives, whether what their doing is ministry and a myriad of other things.  They’d rather support another youth pastor than be one again. They spoke to me about unrealistic expectations that they can’t meet, people who seem to want to restrict ministry rather than assist it and of course the people who always seem to criticize but never propose any solutions to the problems they keep finding.

    The solution we find is to QUIT!  What kind of leadership is THAT?  Did God’s call on our ministries just disappear?  Just two weeks ago I listed here the reasons for my depression and desire to quit.  I know it’s an overused example but Elijah felt the same way.  I think he got depressed for the same reason Peter started to sink.  He lost his focus.  He just watches God defeat a LOT of false prophets of a false god and he freaks out over the death threat of one powerful human woman.  He took his eyes off God and felt alone. 

    well we do the same stupid thing all the time.  What kind of leaders are we when we can preach about standing in the difficult times and how it’s not falling that’s important but the fact that we keep letting God pick us up - and then we quit when it gets tough!  Is our calling from God that weak?  Where’s our faith?

    I think it’s in our lack of discipline.  We fail to guard our day off - ignoring a Sabbath because we’re in ministry.  We’ll read and study the Word for the benefit of others but not set aside time for ourselves.  We’ll sacrifice family time for ministry - trying to live to expectations of others or a vision of a calling that doesn’t match the pastoral qualifications of managing our families well.  We don’t have anyone we can talk to or tell or hold us accountable.  It’s a disaster waiting to happen.  The disaster is again - we quit.

    Once we do that and we begin to make ourselves and island - run our of ourselves and have no more power to live let alone lead.  I can only say WAKE UP. 

    I know there ARE churches out there that sap people and are contrary to scripture.  There are dying churches.  But they are not as much the rule as the exception and when we recognize them we should get out - fast. 

    However, most people disagree because they are passionate from a different perspective, one that may even miss the boat, but not out of spite.

    WE take our eyes off God we WILL feel alone.  We’re not perfect but COME ON - if we’re called to lead let’s really LEAD.  Let’s model (even if no-one sees) the personal spiritual life we wish our church leaders and congregants had.  We need to pray like Luther did.

    “Lord God, You have appointed me to be a bishop and pastor in Your church.  You see how unfit I am to undertake this great and difficult office, and were it not for your help, I would long since have ruined it all.  Therefore I cry unto You; I will assuredly apply my mouth and my heart to Your service.  I desire to teach the people, and I myself would learn and ever more diligently meditate on Your Word.  Use me as Your instrument, only do not though forsake me, for if I am left alone I shall easily bring it all to destruction.  Amen”

    SO what’s the point.  I hope there’s some first year ministers who read this.  I hope you’ll commit to looking seriously at your call to ministry.  What you’re called to - and refreshing it every day.  I’d like you to commit to taking care of yourself and your family if you have one - making those things sacred.  And then commit to commenting below - and checking back on this article to see you’re not alone.  Just like the Lord showed Elijah he was not alone - we need to know we’re not alone.  More than that - the North American church needs leaders who are willing to accept the call of God - and willing to continue in that call.  We need to STOP QUITTING!

    Michael Kowalson has been married for twelve years and is the father of four daughters.  Currently, Michael is the Youth Pastor of The Nelson/Balfour/Junction Covenant Church in British Columbia, Canada. 

    Before you quit - make sure you've fulfilled God's call for the ministry you're in. The average tenure of a youth pastor these days is just over one year. More than 25% of those who leave a youth ministry position NEVER return (I have heard some say it’s higher). It’s not just youth ministry though. It’s aspiring pastors as well...

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    1. Peter Hamm on Thu, February 15, 2007

      Another thing.


      Slow down.


      Too many young minstry professionals want to reinvent the wheel in their first year and therefore take up and keep up an unhealthy pace of ministry life.


      Slow down, pray more, work less, let your people do the work of ministry and equip them and then stand back and watch.


      And churches and church boards… PLEASE… stop chewing these people up and spitting them out. It’s happening too much.

    2. RevJeff on Thu, February 15, 2007

      Amen Peter and Michael…


          “However, most people disagree because they are passionate from a different perspective, one that may even miss the boat, but not out of spite.”


      One of the things God taught me in my former ministry… during the last few months of a nine year tenure is that everyone has an issue that drives their agenda and their tone in expressing it.   Criticism is often flowing from hurt.  No excuse for the chewing and spitting… but a different view on our critics, for sure. 


      I am trying (THIS WEEK) to apply what I learned back there…. 


      STAY where GOD PUT YOU until GOD puts you somewhere else!  Or change your name to Jonah and learn to swim great distances…

    3. jawbone on Fri, February 16, 2007

      Leaving paid professional pastoring is not the same as quitting.  If most of these people are involved in ministry in local churches, then they are fulfilling their calling in a different way.  As a full time paid pastor, I appreciate those folks because they have passion, are dependable, are supportive and effective.


      I belive the most underrated calling of God is to be a helper (servant) and isn’t servant leadership what it’s all about?


      Good article, but I think it spends too much effort trying to make those who left full-time ministry seem like they quit, lost faith, or are not fulfilling their calling.

    4. Dennie on Mon, February 19, 2007

      Michael says, “The average tenure of a youth pastor these days is just over one year.”  Another commons statistic that is batted around is 18 months for the average tenure of a youth pastor.  Can anyone give me actual research that shows that? 


      I have some youth ministry researcher friends who have searched far and wide to back this up because it is so widely believed and quoted, and they have never been able to find any statistical evidence to support this. 


      I’m not trying to be contentious or say that people are wrong.  I’d just like to see the research so we know what we’re saying is correct.  Let me know if you can give me a source for this information.

    5. Peter Hamm on Mon, February 19, 2007

      “Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that.”


      —Homer Simpson

    6. Dennie on Mon, February 19, 2007

      As a follow-up to my comment earlier, I received this email message.  I didn’t know how to get it to Michael, so I will post it here. 


      Dear colleague in Christ,


      Could you please supply the source for your claim that the average tenure of a youth pastor these days is just over one year, if such a study is known to you?


      As you can imagine, our credibility as followers of Jesus to a watching world is connected to how we handle the truth.  Christian Smith’s recent article in Books and Culture articulates this concern much better than I, but certainly testifies to the dismay I experience when research is handled with sloppiness, at best, or blatant manipulation, at worst.  You can read the article by following the link below:


      http://www.christianitytoday.com/bc/2007/001/5.11.html


      The reference you make about youth ministers has circulated widely without a home source or study that has been made available to those of us who study such things.  If you possess a lead that will allow us to verify a reliable study, I would very much appreciate learning about it.  If not, would you please print a retraction?  If you would like a source for such information, I offer a summary of this discussion from Youth Ministry That Transforms, a book I co-authored based on a Lilly-funded research study of Protestant youth workers in America: What is the turnover rate now among youth ministers?  We do not really know.  But our sample of 2,416 youth ministers show that there is a much longer tenure for the average youth minister than has been assumed.  (Strommen, Jones and Rahn; 2001; Zondervan; p. 35.)


      I was made aware of your reference by one of the students in my graduate program.  Please join me in an effort to strengthen our integrity as servants of the Lord Jesus through responsible and excellent scholarship (Colossians 3:17).


      Sincerely in Christ,


      Dr. Dave Rahn


      Director, Youth Ministry Graduate Programs


      Huntington University


      http://www.youthministryleadership.com


      (260) 359-4228

    7. Michael Kowalson on Tue, February 20, 2007

      Dr. Rahn.   You simply need to check sources such as Group Magazines annual surveys, Youth Specialties websites - or follow most Bible Schools graduates of Youth ministry programs.  While not scientific in nature - these sources have all shown me this is the case!  


      In the case of my Bible school and the nomber of graduate3s from the youth leadership program that go into church ministry.  Of the ones I see Alumni updates on, known personally over my 12 years it took to work myself through my degree.  I know of MANY who didn’t make it 8 months - I know of MANY more that made it 14 months.  My first ministry was a glorious 22 months - and that was longer than most I’d graduated with and many who graduated before me.


      As I said - it’s not a scientific study - but long-term enough to raise serious doubts and lend some credence to the phrase being bndied about.


      Now add to that two denominations I know of and two regions of a denomination I have been personally connected with where:   in on denomination of approximately 22 churches - a youth minister is advertised for almost EVERY month with a new advertisement every 2 for sure.  three of these churches who go through youth pastors in record fashion with a tenure of around 7 months.  While the article was not about those types of churches - it IS true.   Similar can be said of the other denomination and regions within a denomination I mentioned. 


      The fact is - there are a lot of long-term serving youth pastors.  I know of two - one who has beenin the same church for ove 15 years and another for over 25.  But I can also tell of many more who were two-years or less and one year or less.


      To be honest,  I’m far more concerned that our colleges and seminaries spend SO much time focusing on the details fo theological “majoring on the minors” and not enough on what REAL ministry is like, the challenges associated and the building up of the students in the faith, than I am in footnoting a web article I do every week to every second with scholarly accuracy.   I do not have the time to dig out my back issues of Group and Youthworker Journal etc - especially when the trend plays out before my very eyes, within my friends I went to school with and in so many denominations I have seen.


      My heart breaks at seeing how much they have gone through (myself as well) and how precious little our expensive pieces of paper actually prepared us for the work we are doing - and I believe I went to a GOOD school with a great youth professor who did help us in how to meet real needs and focus on real ministry.  Maybe that’s the issue in itself - perhaps not enough time was spent in how to deal with the church issues and politics that arise that can so deeply cause pain - or in how to functionally not take things personally when you pour heart and soul into ministry - and have one or two powerful naysayers kill things.  I think I’m still in ministry because I’ve only ever met one of those powerful naysayers in my ministry life - and they did make me swear off ministry forever after 22 months - until God called me back with His unending fire in my bones.

    8. James on Tue, February 20, 2007

      Amen and Amen!!!  I can agree with that statistic wholeheartedly.  I was “out” for 3.5 years and God called me back in…I’m still not sure I am in the right church, but God will fix that in His time…

    9. hangingonaprayer......... on Fri, February 23, 2007

      Hello Mr. Canadian Youth Guy! ( and all others reading this )


      I come to this little blog-posting thing for some prayer and advice from perfect strangers who might understand where I’m at.  I have made it a personal goal not to become a statistic like what has been debated about in previous comments.  I’ve heard the statistics….seen articles of studies….heard Dr. Rainer and Mr. Barna discuss the issues, and quite frankly, don’t care. 


      I just need help day after day….getting out of bed, putting on my armor and going back to a place where I feel crushed, persecuted and struck-down.  And, by the grace of God, each day (or night) I go home, not Abandoned and Not Destroyed,  as the song says, there is joy in each and every morning, because I am truly blessed, just to be found worthy of fighting for the Lord in His battle against evil in our world.


      So to my brothers and sisters out there who might be on the verge of jumping ship, ending it all, or just “taking a break,” let me encourage you to keep on goin!  I have served at a church now for just about 4 years.  In that time we’ve had a pastor dismissed for years embezzlement and marital “unfaithfulness”, about 20 interim pastors, 3 music ministers, 1 intermim music minister, 4 secretaries, a split resulting in 100 (almost 1/2) members starting a new church, and now a new pastor who has already been asked to resign and finally went before the church.  He has stayed with nearly 1/2 wanting him to leave.  Our sunday school teachers, deacons, personnell people,etc are dropping off like flies.  Our attnedance now is only less than half of what it was when I started at this church, and it appears the numbers will be dropping weekly.


      I have personally been beat down for years by everyone you can imagine, yet still feel the support of about everyone left in my church….except for the pastor.   Rumors and lies have destroyed our relationship.  I now face a daily struggle to move forward until God moves me on.  It is crazy.  But I hang in there because when there are only 130 or so on sundays, that very wednesday, I may have 15, 20, 25, 30, or 35 people for the youth gathering…..This church, these youth, need the person God wants there for them.  Right now, I am that person.  Hanging in there, holding onto a prayer, and a promise.


      So to all of the readers out there, this is only part of the story, only part of what I’ve been through.  I know some of you are going through much more.  Let me say, I’m praying for you, because I feel what you feel, in my own way.  Please pray for me as well, and if you have any advice or input, please comment, I’ll be reading.  Thanks and God Bless!

    10. Michael Kowalson on Fri, February 23, 2007

      Hey Hangin’


      Sounds like a very interesting story.  It would be great to hear all of it sometime.   Although a couple of great books for you to read woudl be the Power of Loving your Church by David Hansen and Character Forged from Conflict by Gary D. Preston

    11. P. Consuela on Tue, February 27, 2007

      I agree!  Our eyes need to be fixed on the author and perfector of our faith.  We run the race with our eyes fixed on the goal.  The distractions of church politics, pastoral personality confilicts, management style inconsistencies, all the earthly things we have to deal with as minstry workers can grind us down to nothing. 


      But it is the changed hearts, the trusting relationships, the hurting being healed in our ministry that count.  When Christ is alive in and through us, ministry is never going to fade.  We can’t be bought out, pushed down, burnt out or out of control.  How much criticism did Jesus face?  More than anyone here could bear. 


      This article was timely for me to read.  My eyes have been fixed on the wrong thing the last few days.  Thank you for the encouragement.

    12. Michael Kowalson on Thu, March 01, 2007

      P. Consuela


      You are welcome!  Thanks for letting us know.

    13. Dave on Mon, March 12, 2007

      This Wednesday, I will be giving my resignation. I have been on staff at my church as a bivocational youth pastor.I have been here 5 years. I’m tired! Not of the kids, but of attacks against my wife. Too many problems to list, but at the top of my list was how the board members were shunning my wife. I don’t know why. She has been unable to attend services as often as she would’ve liked due to medical problems( Chronic fatigue, recovering from brain surgery, and many other things). Her name was removed of the roll books for the Sunday School class we were teaching together. I tried several times to speak with the pastor, but he would change the subject whenever I mentioned that I was getting discouraged and thinking about leaving. I mentioned to the church board my concerns and even mentioned that it might be my take on things. They said they would try to do things better. No sorry you feel that way. No phone calls, emails, or letters. Maybe they thought I was tired and needed help.The solution the pastor came up with was to have his son help plan youth events. The son doesn’t model good behavior for leadership. Not sure if he’s a Christian and he’s living with his fiance. I have been told by the pastor that its great for his son to be back in church and he is getting more serious about his faith. He has said to others that whoever chases his son out of church is going straight to hell.I formally informed the pastor, in writing, of my attention to leave and now he is giving me the silent treatment. I’ve been involved with youth ministry for almost 15 years on a part tiem basis as well as holding down a full time secular job and squeezing in classes for ministry. So.. Good ahead. Tell me that I’m a horrible backslider for leaving. I’m tired of the disfunction.

    14. Michael Kowalson on Tue, March 13, 2007

      I have responded to Dave privately

    15. Rev. S on Mon, March 19, 2007

      What happens when you don’t want to quit but you have a Senior Pastor who does not have vision for the youth and basically sees your job as giving the kids something to do. Also what happens when your hands are tied, and you know that God has called you to do something? Or your Pastor is determined to stay in the 1970’s style of worship to 21st century kids?

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