What’s Really Important To Your Church’s First Time Visitors?
- Posted by: Todd
- Posted on: Mon, October 15, 2007
- Viewed 71
- (21) comments so far
It’s the reason I hate going to an auto mechanic. I know nothing about cars, engines, and maintenance. I feel totally out of my comfort zone when the mechanic shares that my differential is going out or my tie rods have a problem. I just want to tell them to fix it and get out of there fast.
I have the same feeling whenever I travel to a new airport, visit a new restaurant, or do anything out of my general routine. My general feeling is, ‘let’s get this over with’. I’m uncomfortable when my surroundings aren’t familiar.
If I’m not extremely peculiar (some would argue that), then this is the same way that many first-time visitors feel when they walk in your church’s door for the first time. They are probably feeling very self-conscience. Maybe they dressed up or dressed down more than others. Their children might embarrass them. David notes, that they may even worry about when to sit and when to stand in the service.
Ever been in a service where the church asks visitors to stand? Please don’t do that! For most people, it just causes embarrassment to the person you’re trying to make feel welcome.
What’s the answer? Well, it could lie in genuinely making your visitors feel welcome and at-ease. Take away things that could make people feel uncomfortable or that could be embarrassing. One way is to greet them as you would a friend. Make sure they know where to go. Walk them to the classrooms where their children will attend. Introduce them to the teachers. I know of one church that tells their greeters never to point, but always to lead. Rather than saying, ‘down that hallway and to the right’, show a little interest and lead them there.
You see, many people, when they come to church for the first time really want nothing more than to get through the experience without embarrassing themselves. You can help diffuse this fear and help them feel more at ease. When (and only when) this happens, will they be able to experience your church the way you’d like them to.
So… how’s your church doing in this area?
I was recently reading a series of articles by David Zimmerman on how first-time visitors view church. One line struck me as having a lot of truth to it. David writes, “First-time visitors care most about not embarrassing themselves.” As I think about that statement, I immediately realized that if I were looking for a church, this would be my first priority: not looking foolish.
Comments
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Peter Hamm on Mon, October 15, 2007
Along those lines, if your church is GEARED towards visitors, you might want to make sure your service isn’t “difficult”. Remove whatever barriers that you have to them understanding what’s going on, which could be as simple as explaining it.
Also, ALWAYS state at the offering that guests (we don’t use the word visitors) are NOT asked to contribute. On really big visitor days (Easter, Christmas) we don’t take an offering at all. Don’t look money-hungry. In fact, don’t BE money-hungry.
At our church, our best parking is reserved for guests!
Brian on Mon, October 15, 2007
Anything you can do to remove barriers and the unknown is great.
One example from our church:
We have offering boxes in the back of the sanctuary and don’t collect offerings/tithes during the service. I try to make it a point to let guests know this by saying something like, “We don’t pass the plate on Sunday mornings - those who call this their church home give through the offering boxes in the back. We didn’t invite you here to get your money, so please just be our guest and worship with us.” it’s not always the same speil, but want to make sure they’re not worried about when to pull out their money or checkbook.
I had one lady who would have preferred that I wouldn’t mention anything about the offering at all, saying that at a church she visited she kept wondering where to put her offering until she spotted the boxes. She felt it would be “more humble” to not even mention them.
However, guests, especially unchurched ones don’t like the unknown. It’s much safer for them to know what’s happening before it happens (hence the worship bulletin).
So in this case, if they don’t see a spot in the bulletin to collect the offering, I want to make sure they know what’s up. BTW, we also mention the offering boxes in the bulletin to make sure we cover all those bases.
Sorry for the long post - we are trying to be very intentional about making sure first-time guests are treated well!
Peter Hamm on Mon, October 15, 2007
Brian,
That’s what we do at Christmas and Easter. I wonder if it wouldn’t be wise to do it all the time like you do!
michael on Mon, October 15, 2007
I have wrestled with the idea of using “offering boxes” in the back and not “passing the plate”.
My only struggle is that “offering boxes” take giving out of the context of worship and make it feel more like a utilitarian function that pays the bills. There is a sense in which “giving” as a public act of worship is important to the faith community.
I also wonder if saying, “We don’t want your money” all the time sounds like a con man saying, “Trust me!” Most people know that it takes money for things like heat, electricity, pastor’s salaries, sunday school materials, etc. Nothing is free in this world and I don’t think people believe church should be either.. I really don’t think people are surprised by church offerings.
The way one approaches an offering is extremely impotant. If you really are greedy, it will show, no matter how many times you say you are not. And a greedy church is not visitor friendly. If you really are not greedy, it will show too, even if you take an offering. But placing the offering in the context of worship is extremely important. It is not a sunday morning shake-down, it is an opportunity to respond to God by giving.
Live Shalom!
mdd
Leonard on Mon, October 15, 2007
Every week when we take the offering I will say.
We are going to take the offering now and if you are a guest with us today we ask you not to feel as though you need to give. If you are a regular part of what we do, we only ask you to what God asks of you with your giving.
By saying it this way I open up the door for teaching people what God says. I actually think money is not a big an obstacle as we think when someone comes into the church. It is how we present the money.
We want our guests to have three things happen to them.
We want them physically touched. Hand shake, high five, fist bump, hug…
We want our guests verbally engaged. An invite back to something, a great to see you this morning, a we are so glad you are here, a how did you find us, were so glad you did…
We want our guest to have a Jesus moment. We want them to know something about God that matters on Monday.
Many of our guests comment that they did not know you could have such cool high quality music in church. They did not know the bible was so practice and easily understood. That Christians laughed and had so much fun together…
that is us
Andy McAdams on Mon, October 15, 2007
I’d like to offer a “High Five” to both Michael and Leonard. I like your style and approach to offering as worship as well and an obvious effort to make “new comers” feel welcome and comfortable. I have never liked the term “visitors” and rather call them “new comers”. It sounds to me more like they are a part of things at the church…just “new”.
John Heading on Mon, October 15, 2007
We have spent a great deal of effort trying to put ourselves in the visitors place. We have dedicated parking in the front row for guests that is marked. We even put a sign at the front driveway entrance that says, “Welcome! Guest Parking in the Front Row” We also put professional signs on the building right in from of the guest parking so people see right from the start where to go.
During the service we never ask guests to stand but I always say welcome to those who are firstime or first time in a long time and we offer gift bags in the main lobby, from the pastor as an appreciation for your attendance today. We include info about the church and ministries but also a little bag of candy and other little things.
90% of the people who return say they return becuase the bags made them feel that we thought about them before they ever came.
As far as the offering. Offering is an act of worship. I tell folks that the offering is for those who are active participants in the ministry of the church. I ask guests to drop in a “Feedback Card” with any info about themselves they want to share. I also announce we do not make cold calls! But we would love to send a letter or email.
Don’t apologize for your church, make guests feel welcome but also make your regulars feel just as welcome.
Pastor Bill on Mon, October 15, 2007
Friends…........:
Having been in many churches in the US and overseas (Germany, Philippines, Hong Cong, Italy - US Army: ret) I have found many differing managments styles from a small church (population of 20) where we were invited to lunch with the pastor to bread and baskets as welcome presents (church size of 500+), being invited to the church hall for a lunch (church size of 250) to, after a brief introduction by the pastor’s wife every one say “We welcome you here in the Name of Jesus.” Unlike Brother John who never gets the folks to stand, the church where I am the pastor of the English Services (Brazilian) - we do; question - how does the rest of the congregation know who the visitors are - unless there is a very small number of individuals in the service? Maybe it is the Brazilian culture, but I used to also see it happen when I lived in Virginia and North Carolina.
Regarding offerings…..I remember one teenager stating when the collection plate was passed “I didn’t know you charged admission”. When we have vistors we cannot stop the traditional direction of the serivce. Why should we be afraid to pass the plate when those of us who go to resturants have little difficulty in paying the 15% gratuity for their “serivce” - - what happen to honoring the Lord with the tithe and offering?? Also, in the current body where I pastor the people walk up to the front to give their tithe/offering, so in the ‘confusion of 60 - 100 people walking to the front and passing each other and saying hi on the way up and back”, no one knows what was put in the basket, and the visitors are not embarrased when they don’t drop something in the passing plate. Good article as always. Let us not forget church services are for honoring the LORD unless you believe in some other god!
Danny Daniels on Mon, October 15, 2007
At our church we would put a basket at the front of the church and those who wanted to give stand up after we pray for the offering and carry it (as a physical act of worship) to the basket. Those who don’t want to give aren’t really noticable and just blend into the flurry of activity involved with everyone getting up to go to the front.
I also tell everyone that they should only give if they are cheerful about it. We don’t accept grudgingly given money.
I encourage people to pray and ask God what to do and then do what He leads them to do and be happy about it. It just feels better that way.
Leonard Lee on Mon, October 15, 2007
Danny, you should tell them to change their attitude rather than keep the money.
Camey on Mon, October 15, 2007
Our church is definitely doing better at this than we were - say a year or so ago…
A little funny on first time guests though… if there’s a group sitting together… They might not plan on coming back.. but taking someone with them in the future…
Signed,
Experienced at looking foolish
Wendi on Mon, October 15, 2007
Last fall I tested some church consulting services. I hired “secret visitors” and sent them to churches that had agreed to participate as my test clients. Some of the visitors were Christian and some were not, some with kids – some without, some married – some single, some in college – some senior citizens. Gave them an exhaustive evaluation to complete, including the follow-up they received after completing and leaving a visitor card. I converted their eval into a comprehensive report outlining how the church scored with the secret visitors. I know this is not a new idea, but I was testing to see the interest in, viability and marketability of this kind of service within a reasonable geography to my home. I learned some things I didn’t expect, and confirmed many things I already knew at a gut level, from personal experience in this area of ministry. Plan to write an article about my learning someday.
For the purpose of this thread, I’ll offer a few things I learned from my “hired visitors.”
o Most churches communicate tons of “insider information” on Sundays (platform and print). Although people aren’t really offended by the insider info, it did make the outsiders more conscious of their “outsiderness” (because many commented about it). THE ZONE meets on Thursdays at 7pm . . . AWANA starts next Wednesday. . . today is the last day to sign up for Promise Keepers . . . we all miss having John with us . . . (what’s The Zone or AWANA, why should I go to Promise Keepers, who is John?)
o Most churches lack clear connecting pathways and opt instead for offering a smorgasbord of things people can do to connect, leaving it to the newcomer to choose which fits best. Church folks understand this and felt they would be able to navigate easily, unchurched folks were confused by it.
o Most of my test churches were generally unfriendly places. People smiled and said hello, but did not engage my visitors in casual conversation. The people who spoke to my visitors were the ones whose job it was (ushers and greeters), or the congregation members during the “fellowship time” in the service. However with hardly an exception, no “regular person” spoke to my visitors while they stood around with a cup of coffee, sat and waited for the service to start (even when it was crowded and they were crammed into a pew), walked slowly from the sanctuary standing shoulder to shoulder with strangers. The churched people were not put off by this, didn’t really expect people to be friendly (what does that say?). The unchurched were actually surprised. They expected church people to be friendly and were bothered that they were ignored while people who already knew one another filled the campus having happy conversations with one another.
Please note: friendly and natural conversation is completely different than asking visitors to stand up and embarrass themselves.
Wendi
Pastor Ian on Mon, October 15, 2007
I have been involved in churches and gatherings for as long as I can remember - my experiences are of both passing the plate (bag) and of not doing so - my comments are these;
Yes the offering is part of our worship and yes it is the responsibility of members of the church to finance it’s operation rather than visitors.
Probably the best “compromise” situation that I worked in was where the offeratory boxes were located as you entered the main worship area for people to place their offering in as they arrive.
At some point in the service the offering is brought forward to the front and the offeratory prayer is offerred to keep the aspect of worship minus pressure to give.
On the other side, I don’t think “missing the plate” is so much of an issue nowadays as many people give monthly or even by direct debit!
There was at one stage a church, in London I believe, that passed the plate who always said “if you have, please give, if you don’t, please take! “I’m not sure how long that continued!!
Victoria on Tue, October 16, 2007
They hate to be embarrassed, so please do not ask them to stand. I AGREE! I hate standing up when I visit a congregation. In addition, I do not wish to be at the front of the line for dinner, either. I was terribly embarrassed last week to cut into the front of the line, and at the same time to be separated from the family who had brought me to visit. Though I begged to be left in back, there was no winning. By the time my friends arrived at my table, I was done eating!
On the other hand, there has to be some way, especially in a larger congregation, to know who the visitors are so that we can be sure that they ARE greeted and spoken to. I went to one congregation that passed out little dove lapel pins. Though they were small and unassuming, whenever anyone saw one go past, a friendly greeting was inevitable.
In another congregation, everybody wore nametags! The visitors had nametags, but they didn’t stick out because so did everyone else. They could be greeted by name, and in return see our names. The names were kept near the door on a large carousel and everyone put them on upon arrival and left them upon exit. I liked this a lot, too.
One more offering comment: In the Jewish synagogues, offering is never collected or counted on Shabbat. It is dropped in at the back as folks enter so that “business” is not conducted on the Sabbath. Thus the abilitly of Jesus to watch as folks dropped in their offerings. I like it in the back, so long as it is visible and well marked. A word in the bulletin is appropriate, as there have been two places I have visited where I had to ask after the service where to give—more embarrassment.
Wendi on Tue, October 16, 2007
Victoria,
I’ve found that it works to have a guest/visitor area where people are given a gift of some kind that they can’t tuck away in a purse or bible. For example, when people carry a gift bag around the campus, they are identifible as a visitors to the regulars, without making them stand up or wear visitor nametags. Then, the challenge becomes coaching your people to keep their visitor radar up rather than gravitating toward their friends.
Wendi
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