Why Johnny College Isn’t Coming to Church
- Posted by: Todd
- Posted on: Mon, July 27, 2009
- Viewed 90
- (48) comments so far
4. They have work responsibilities that keep them from attending (23%);
5. They moved too far from church (22%);
6. They just got too busy, even though they’d still like to attend (22%);
7. They didn’t feel connected to the church in the first place (20%);
8. They disagreed with the church’s political/social stance (18%);
9. They decided to spend more time with friends (17%);
10. They were just going to church to please their parents (17%).
That is some interesting information. I’d love to see how this meshes with the reasons that older adults leave the church. I think there are similarities, regardless of age.
One of the biggest reasons adults give for dropping out of church is that they feel people in the church are judgmental and hypocritical. Another reason often given is work responsibilities. And then there are those who just want a break, others who have moved and haven’t reconnected with a new church, or are just too busy. And these days, many of us disagree with the church’s political and/or social views.
And just going to church to please your parents? Well that’s still a good excuse, no matter your age. Except maybe it’s your spouse, or another family member you’re aiming to please.
Why do people leave your church? No, really. Why do people leave? Think of the last 5 families that have left your church. Do you even know why they left? And did you or anyone discuss their decision with them after they left?
Young people AND adults leave churches for the silliest reasons. Sometimes a gentle prodding or talk can rescue them from their inactivity in the church. Sometimes not. But too often, we just let them go. We allow their laziness or lousy reasoning to keep them from our or any church, and stand by as they distance themselves from the One who wants, more than anything, to have a day-by-day relationship with them.
Is there someone you should call today to say, “Hey, how are you doing? I’ve been missing you?”
Thanks, and have a great week! You can email me at .
Todd
Recently, my friend Ed Stetzer gave a presentation at the International Christian Retail Show on some of the research he's doing at LifeWay. He shared the top reasons they've found that young adults are dropping out of church these days. Among the reasons:
1. They simply want a break from church (27%);
2. They felt church members are judgmental and/or hypocritical (26%);
3. They moved to college and didn't find another church (25%);
Comments
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CS on Mon, July 27, 2009
First, welcome back, Todd. You’ve been missed.
There is a theme to those reasons above that can be condensed in a single thought: most of those people who are leaving are not saved. I’m sorry, but, “Wanting a break from church,” shows a heart that does not align itself with the Christian faith. Same with spending more time with friends and attending church only to placate parents. We just don’t have many people nowadays who are willing to say this.
—
CS
Hal on Mon, July 27, 2009
CS,, right on, and now i ask why aren’t they saved? I will try to answer. THEY DO NOT HEAR ABOUT JESUS AND HOW HE IS THE WAY , THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE. RARELY DOES THE PASTOR TALK ABOUT SALVATION AND WHEN HE DOES, HE NEVER ASKS PEOPLE TO ACCEPT CHRIST.
Evangelicalism (if that is a word) has watered down the message until it is one big warm fuzzy with a movie clip. OH yes, and the pastor would never offend people by talking about hell, wow that is tooooo radical.
Sorry, i must be judgmental today.
Peter Hamm on Mon, July 27, 2009
WOW!
1. They simply want a break from church
So do I sometimes.
2. They felt church members are judgmental and/or hypocritical
We are.
3. They moved to college and didn’t find another church (25%);
Did they really look or want to look?
4. They have work responsibilities that keep them from attending
Lame, sorry, but lame…
5. They moved too far from church
See above
6. They just got too busy, even though they’d still like to attend
They’re being trained to follow the American dream of bizziness… sad, but reality.
7. They didn’t feel connected to the church in the first place
We probably didn’t give them a reason to feel connected. We often don’t.
8. They disagreed with the church’s political/social stance
Young people want to create truth in their own image… they’ll learn… maybe when they have kids.
9. They decided to spend more time with friends
None of their friends are church people?…
10. They were just going to church to please their parents
Many of these kids never owned their faith. I’m not surprised, we didn’t include them in the church except in “youth ministry game time”, we never answered their tough questions, we often don’t accept them as they are, and we often make church look like a social club that doesn’t want you as a member.
Randy Bryan on Mon, July 27, 2009
I agree with C S. It is not politcally correct to point out today that someone may not be saved but we must call all people to repentance. Paul exhorted us to “examine ourselves to see if we are in the faith.” He also wrote to Titus in 1:16 “ They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good.” The reality is that 82% of Americans claim to be Christians but according to Jesus Himself, only a few will be saved. (Matthew 7:14; Luke 13:23; Matthew 22:14) It is utterly unrealistic to believe that 240 million Americans are regenerate based upon scripture. One author wisely wrote that true regeneration does not produce a head full of facts but a life full of actions.
Pat on Mon, July 27, 2009
CS, I have to disagree. To say that “most of those people who are leaving are not saved” is a stretch and a broad blanket. Some have really legitimate reasons (to them) for leaving and others are emotionally or spiritually immature.
As I think back over the last few people/families to leave our church, a couple of have been due to music/sound issues, one was a young man who took a position with another church, but was starting to not feel connected based on our church’s approach to membership.
I can relate to the feeling of needing a break from church. Although, I have not stopped going to church altogether for that reason, I have taken Sunday’s off (from church, not Christ). The taking time off though is primarily for me, due to people issues. Let’s face it, the church is made up of people, and we can be a bit much at times, particularly if you’re in leadership. But, I guess maybe I’m just not saved…
CS on Mon, July 27, 2009
Pat:
We have to remember, this article is concerning people who leave church. Not leaving church for another church, as you described some people you know doing, but people who depart from regular scheduled worship and activities with other believers to where they cannot be seen as being a part of any church family.
I, like you, have taken a Sunday, “off,” from church for things like camping trips and being with friends and family. But there is a big difference between doing that and stepping away from church, which is why I stated that these people are not saved. Christians should not abandon churches for causes that include worldly pursuits. And I wish that more pastors today would say to people, “Based on your actions and testimony, I cannot guarantee your salvation,” than to call people who abandon church soundly saved Christians.
“Some have really legitimate reasons (to them) for leaving and others are emotionally or spiritually immature.”
What someone may perceive to be a legitimate reason to leave does not make it a legitimate reason to leave. To summarize all of this, I will finish my post with Hebrews 10:24-25.
“And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some [is]; but exhorting [one another]: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.”
—
CS
Peter Hamm on Mon, July 27, 2009
CS,
I know plenty of people who are definitely saved who have “left the church” over the years.
Although it is very true that many (most?) church-going kids who go off to college and abandon church might not have ever had a real faith journey going on… it’s not the case with every one.
I think we need to examine what we’re doing with these people when they are in our influence to see what we are communicating. For many of them, we’ve only communicated conformity and some kind of intellectual faith that they in the 21st century, can’t even get. Randy says it well above. [One author wisely wrote that true regeneration does not produce a head full of facts but a life full of actions.]
If these people have some good habits of prayer, service, and just plain loving their neighbors as opposed to what many of our churches give them (which is often, as far as they can tell, a head full of unconnected doctrine), perhaps we’ll be giving them an opportunity to really encounter the redemption of Jesus, and maybe they WILL be transformed, regardless of whether they take a few years “off” from a church experience that they see as irrelevant.
I’m not talking about the ones who leave for bad reasons necessarily, but just yelling “repent” louder, as many advocate, isn’t the answer here.
Rick on Mon, July 27, 2009
After the resurrection, before the ascension, Peter announced a fishing trip. Was he looking for a “break” from church? Was he looking to spend more time with his friends? Was he feeling the press of “busy-ness”? Was he preparing for his post-apostolic career? Or was he afraid that the sacrifices he’d made over the last few years weren’t going to pay off?
Whatever his reasons, Jesus gently and forcefully pulled him (and the others with him) back to the Call. He shepherded them. We could try to make a case that the modern situation is more complex than that, but it boils down to shepherding and relationship. Whatever excuse people give for skipping out, we have to follow the model of Christ the Shepherd, and seek the wandering ones.
Lori on Mon, July 27, 2009
I am really moved by P. Hamm’s comments. I think they are quite true and shed light on many of the internal issues facing the church today.
Still, we as leaders need to be careful. When people are wounded/offended the enemy seizes the opportunity to create a breach. Why are churches so willing to just let people leave? What happened to leaving the 99 to recover the one? Remember it is our love for one another that signifies that we are His, not our ability to avoid the door as people leave. Consider all that God has developed in you and all that He continues to do and realize that He could have simply allowed you to walk out the door, but love caused Him to reach for you AND work hard to keep you. Our love for Him should cause us to do no less. You can teach someone how to love God and be in real relationship with Him using your life as the example. Perhaps the church needs to conduct self-examination to determine if what we display from the pulpit to the back pew is causing the strain.
The church understands the real cost of separation. We can ill afford to simply say goodbye to those who leave.
CS on Mon, July 27, 2009
Peter:
Sorry to get a little tangential here, but something caught my attention:
“If these people have some good habits of prayer, service, and just plain loving their neighbors as opposed to what many of our churches give them (which is often, as far as they can tell, a head full of unconnected doctrine), perhaps we’ll be giving them an opportunity to really encounter the redemption of Jesus, and maybe they WILL be transformed, regardless of whether they take a few years “off” from a church experience that they see as irrelevant. “
Perhaps I have misunderstood you, and if so, I apologize, but this kind of sounds like works righteousness. It sounds like you have said, “If a person does a whole bunch of things, like service and actions, maybe then they’ll become true believers.” Or it sounds like you’re saying that unsaved people should be thrust into the regular activities of the church that are intended for those who are saved.
Please tell me I’m wrong here.
—
CS
Hal on Mon, July 27, 2009
After my first writing here this morning I received a very positive email from a NON-CHURCH, organization that seems to have it figured out. Saved people, new members, income ,,,,,,,
I am not a member of this organization, do not own a motorcycle and have never attended one of their meetings. But, I get a lot of of each Monday, with MMI and CMA. CHECK OUT THE LINK BELOW
Dear friends in Christ,,,,,,, IT IS HAPPENING.
http://www.cmausa.org/cma_national/
Pat on Mon, July 27, 2009
CS-
You’re right; the article is about people leaving the church altogether. I stand corrected. You’re also right that what someone considers to be a legitimate reason for leaving may not be legitimate at all. But as for the pastor saying, “Based on your actions and testimony, I cannot guarantee your salvation,” that’s not something a pastor or anyone else can do. Only I through my confession of faith and repentance can guarantee my salvation.
Peter-
When you talk about kids abandoning their faith in college, I was one of those. Raised in a Christian home and in the church. We weren’t just nominal Christians. There was Bible-reading in the home and discussion; what I would call a real nurturing in the faith. However, when I went to college, I left the faith due largely to unmet needs that were met in unhealthy ways. That’s why I think it’s crucial for Christian parents to make sure that they have healthy home environments and not be deceived into thinking that because they’re nice church-going folks that nothing bad will ever happen to them or their family. But then, having done all, each individual is a free moral agent who will make their own choices—all of them not always good. Fortunately, because of the foundation that was laid for me, I did come back to faith after 10 years. Thanks be to God! While I regret some of the choices that I made during those years, those things also help to shape me and my faith. I’m not sure I would have the walk I have today without having had those experiences.
HAL on Mon, July 27, 2009
whoops the link didn’t work, when you click on the link , then click on CMA NATIONAL
Dan on Mon, July 27, 2009
I think an interesting study would involve researching the first 10,000 or so people who joined the church when everything first got rolling—- that initial movement that got empowered by the Spirit of Jesus—ask them whey they joined the church. Maybe then interview the first 1000 martyrs and ask them why they were willing to die for their church.
I’m guessing the church that the Holy Spirit started, the church that the martyrs died for—might be a bit different from the typical american variety.
Probably more effective for us to learn from those who leave and judge ourselves, rather than asking them to learn from us and judging them.
Oh yeah—I’m a pastor in a college town.
Thanks to Ed for his continued work in this area.
Peter Hamm on Mon, July 27, 2009
CS,
God news, I’m not advocating salvation by works.
I am, however agreeing with the entire book of James that if you say you have faith and there is no works to show it, then your faith is dead and worthless (perhaps non-existent?)
I think that a lot of these folks leaving High School have a dead and worthless faith, and I’d like to see what the church can do to give them something alive and vital instead…
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