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10 Reasons You Probably Shouldn’t Be Amish Anymore

Orginally published on Friday, March 24, 2006 at 7:05 AM
by Todd Rhoades

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HT once again to the fine and funny folks at Purgatorio!

10. You start what you think is a really good Amish blog and your only visitors are Hutterites.

9. You are met with cold stares while attempting to discuss the latest episode of “The Sopranos” with the Elders.

8. You kind of enjoy “being out among them English”.

7. You’ve eschewed the traditional Amish beard for a “Crowder”.

6. You continually violate The Ordnung by reading the Message/Remix outloud at worship.

5. You sew shiny buttons on your shirt in a vain attempt to get shunned.

4. Yours is the only Horse Buggy in Lancaster County with airbrushed flames on the side.

3. Your Pacifism keeps interfering with your desire to become a Navy Seal.

2. You skip Eli Van Dorn’s Barn Raising to watch “Home Improvement” reruns at your Mennonite neighbor’s house.

1. Plain just doesn’t cut it anymore.


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 TRACKBACKS: (0) There are 9 Comments:

  • The ten reasons you probably shouldn’t be Amish anymore is tasteless, sarcastic, inane and not at all funny. No, I,m not Amish and would never consider becoming one. Whats more is that I doubt the remarks made about them will never hurt them if they even knew about them at all. Scoffing at others still impresses me as juvinile and it speaks more about the writer than the Amish.

  • Posted by

    I thinks it is Friday… and a good attempt at a smile for the weekend. Thanks Todd. Jay

  • Posted by

    As someone who comes from a Mennonite heritage, I don’t find this list funny.  IT’S HILARIOUS!  If you have any knowledge of the Amish or other “Plain” people of faith, you know the emphasis placed on conforming to tradition and the inherent “rebellion” that it causes many to do and you’ve heard of similar true stories like these.  Most folks I know would be the first to laugh at themselves upon reading this list.

  • Posted by

    #11 The download of Brother Elli’s last sermon finally filled up your I-pod.

  • Posted by

    I loved #4....

    I thought of another…

    #11. Your horse buggy is the only one in Lancaster County that has Spinner’s instead of the traditional wooden wheel with spokes..

  • Posted by Randy Ehle

    Okay, since we can’t laugh at the Amish ... or the Poles (that was banned in the 70s) ... about laughing at the Baptists (I was raised “basically” baptist).  Or AOG (I am almost one - been attending an AOG church for the past year).  Or evangelicals as a whole.  Or how about Christians in general...plenty of fodder for a few Friday funnies.  Couldn’t laught at the Catholics, though, unless there are a few of “them” out there who want to suggest a few self-directed chuckles.

    Seriously, though...let’s have fun today!  (Is “serious fun” an oxymoron? What about a dumb bull? Get - moronic ox?  Sorry!  I have a 5th grader!)

  • Posted by

    Let’s pick on the Hittites.... they are all dead!

  • Posted by

    # 14 -

    Your time for sermon prep is alwaays rushed because you are addicted to MMIBLOG.

  • Posted by

    I am deeply offended.  By the way, what is a Hutterite and a Crowder?

  • Page 1 of 1 pages

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