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2006 Predictions for the Church and Christianity

Orginally published on Thursday, January 05, 2006 at 11:00 AM
by Todd Rhoades

Predictions I thought these top predictions for 2006 were interesting.  Thanks Team-Swap!

  1. Most Christians will continue to complain about their suffering for God far more then they actual suffer for God
  2. Church attendance will stay steady
  3. Church participation will decline
  4. The Goliaths that face most Christians will never be challenged, even though God has already defeated them
  5. Mega churches will begin to discuss having their own sports leagues to compete against each other – suddenly Ex Pro athletes will join churches nationwide
  6. Joel O will be banned from Aspen forever
  7. Sunday school attendance will swell when the Baptist announces the new series – “Paris Hillton’s Bible Study” - the Paris Hillton of this series will be the daughter of a South Carolina pastor though – thus the different spelling of the last name.
  8. Methodists will continue to have open minds
  9. New seeker friendly pews will recline, Baptist deacons will vote for immediate installation
  10. The KJV only crowd will finally read the front of their own translation and see that the KJV translator’s expected their to be updates and new translations due to better tools and new scripts, this of course will not matter as they will still sing – “If it was good enough for Jesus and John The Baptist it is good enough for me”
  11. New text will show that the Da Vinci code was a complete fraud, but that will not make the news and many will still believe it to be true
  12. The Chronicles of Narnia book sells will spike and C.S. Lewis will get banned from public schools, though Harry Potter will still be Ok
  13. Leisure Christianity will be the title of the next big Christian movement in the US
  14. Young Married classes world wide will swell when church youth departments start offering Friday night child care for “date nights”
  15. Choir days will flop

FOR DISCUSSION:  Any you'd like to add to the list?


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 TRACKBACKS: (1) There are 18 Comments:

  • Posted by

    Todd,

    I have one.

    In 2006 Churches will start a new Bible teaching series called,

    “God’s wrath on the just and the unjust: Why there’s no such thing as a natural disaster.”

    Here’s another one I think might be brewing this year.

    “A Theoretical perspective on good vs. bad orbs: Why Christians have them.” Note: Due to highly offensive material most people with a bad orb might not attend. 

    Maybe some of you have heard this theory floating(sorry feeling punny) around your churches. Writing this still absolutely amazes me when I think that Christians actually believe orbs are entities from God and Satan.

  • Posted by

    Pete,

    Those were both great! I’m not real sure about number 14 on the main list though. It’s more likely that the actual youth groups themselves will swell than the young married classes. I mean as soon as the youth groups start offering Friday night child care, all their unwed teenage parent friends will flock into the group. Then they’ll have clases on how to become a christ-like teenage parent without getting married.

    Another prediction for this year is the likelihood of youth groups adding smoking rooms, christian body piercing and tatoo parlors, safe sex classes and support group meetings to keep the kids in the church who can’t turn away from sex, violance and drugs “coming back”.

  • Posted by Bernie Dehler

    I just ran across this interestiung (old) story with data about megachurches being replaced by “church networks” :
    http://www.jesus.org.uk/dawn/2004/dawn36.html

    Fascinating.

    Snippet:
    “Up until now, megachurches were a typically American phenomenon. It is striking, then, that not one of the world’s forty largest churches is in the USA or another Western nation.”

    Maybe this is a good hint for the future?

    ...Bernie

  • Posted by Claborn

    In the near future,

    Everyone that persecuted the church of Christ will bow down in front of the thrown of mercy and beg for forgiveness but, God will say that he knows not who you are and cast you into darkness. Why do you sir live life in the manner that you live it (a) because this is how you were raised or (b) from your superior knowledge of the universe you created yourself somehow developed a sense of morals and now live in perfect knowledge of why you have conformed to the law of man.

  • Posted by

    Claborn,

    Excuxe me...but who pray tell is the “sir” you addressed that post to, and what related to this post are you writing about?

    I’m not criticizing you.  I just can’t seem to put it together.

  • Posted by

    On #14 - I originally read that prediction as referring to childcare for the children of teen parents (I think Jim might have, too).  On a closer look, perhaps it was actually referring to the youth ministry offering to host childcare for young (but not THAT young) parents!

    But it raises an interesting question - how are churches handling the whole teen pregnancy thing.  According to statistics I see every now and then, I think teen pregnancy rates are pretty similar among churched kids as among unchurched kids - but I sure haven’t seen many pregnant girls hanging around with the church youth groups.  (Granted, I’m also not active with the youth group.)

    So, a couple questions:
    1.  Am I right about the similarities in teen pregnancy among the churched and unchurched?
    2.  How are churches handling that - both well and not so well?
    3.  What are churches doing with and for both the pregnant teen girls and the guys they tangoed with?

  • Posted by Bernie Dehler

    Anyone want to make a bet that Pat Robertson makes a crazy statement in 2006, for the papers to pick up on?  Oops, he just did it…

    “Robertson Links Sharon Stroke, God’s Wrath “
    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060106/ap_on_re_us/robertson_sharon;_ylt=AsFwkGwmW39MWzKDaXvZkUNI2ocA;_ylu=X3oDMTBiMW04NW9mBHNlYwMlJVRPUCUl

    Snippet:
    “"God considers this land to be his,” Robertson said on his TV program “The 700 Club.” “You read the Bible and he says `This is my land,’ and for any prime minister of Israel who decides he is going to carve it up and give it away, God says, `No, this is mine.’"”

    When Robertson dies, I wonder how we can pin that on the wrath of God… the wrath of God for all his mis-statements?

    Sharon didn’t give any of Israel’s land away.  It was “occupied” illegally by Israel, and that’s why they gave it up.  I suppose Pat also thinks Israel should take over Iraq, since that also entails the land promised to Abraham...?

  • Posted by Bernie Dehler

    Randy says:
    “but I sure haven’t seen many pregnant girls hanging around with the church youth groups. “

    Is that good or bad?  If they did hang out, does that means they are keeping their babies, rather than aborting?

  • Posted by Bernie Dehler

    Prediction… Todd sells out?  Too late:
    http://biz.yahoo.com/bizj/060105/1211898.html?.v=1

    Good work, Todd!

    Now what will you do with all your spare time?

  • Posted by Todd Rhoades

    Thanks, for noticing, Bernie!  smile

    I’m planning an announcement here at the blog tomorrow.

    Essentially, I’m keeping the MMI Blog and Monday Morning Insight newsletter.  I hope to develop that and toy around with a couple of other ideas that I have milling around in my head (and hopefully some ideas that aren’t there yet)!

    More tomorrow…

    Todd

  • Posted by Frank

    Thanks for the link and the attempt to further the discussion.  Additional predictions are welcome.

    As for our perdicitons, they are all meant to be semi serious and semi funny.  As for #14 it was meant to relate to the youth providing care to the children of the young married department, but we can see where the confusion came in.

    Again, thanks for the link and the discussion.

    Stay strong, be couragous, and serve God in all things.

  • Posted by

    Bernie asked if I thought the fact that “I sure haven’t seen many pregnant girls hanging around with the church youth groups” is good or bad.  “If they did hang out, does that means they are keeping their babies, rather than aborting?” he asked.

    I intentionally didn’t make a judgment call for a couple reasons - first, because I don’t think the presence or absence of pregnant girls in a church youth group is itself a moral issue.  Second, I’m not sure if my observation (that they’re not hanging around) is accurate, and I am looking for input on that.

    One could draw all sorts of assumptions from the presence of pregnant girls in a church youth group...and those assumptions would run from one extreme to the other in their accuracy. 

    (I can hear the Board meeting now: One side cries, “What are they doing on those youth beach trips?!?  All the girls in the group are getting pregnant!” Another side counters, “No, the pregnant ones aren’t our ‘church girls;’ the group is just inviting all the ‘bad’ girls in to love them to Jesus.” Another side pipes in with, “Actually, some are ‘good’ kids who made mistakes, some are ‘bad’ kids who are looking for love and acceptance they didn’t find at home...and some are the daughters of our own church members.  Including Pastor ____’s daughter.")

    Sadly, I’ve heard all of those comments before in various contexts.  My question is, what are churches doing about it - with positive, God-glorifying impact?

  • Posted by

    I read with disgust at the 10th prediction on your list.  I sometimes wonder if when someone refuses the true word of God and turns to something so bad as the NIV or the Message that God messes with his mind.  I wonder this because every book I have read for and against King James “Onlyism” has had a discussion about the words of the translators.  For SOME reason, you folks think that we Bible believers haven’t read the Preface before.  I am TOTALLY aware of what they said, but contrary to your maudlin humanism, I rather look at God’s promises and HIS abilities to PRESERVE his word.
    For those of you Scholarship Onlyists, I’ll ask you this.  What major truth have you found in your up-to-date translation from the “best available” Greek and Hebrew texts that I haven’t found in my “archaic” old-fashioned tried and true King James Bible???
    One more thing, how can you folks sit there and say that all these bad things are gonna happen in ‘06 and not do something about it?  If things are gonna get worse, then why in God’s name don’t you get on your knees and wrestle with the Lord all night over what you care about like Jacob did?  I assure you, that’s the ONLY way things are going to get better- when an INTIMATE relationship with God is more important than your money, your health, your job, your car, your friends, or your comfort.
    -Jonathan Dabill

  • Posted by Todd Rhoades

    Thou speakest as one that loveth the King James and one that putteth that version on a higher pedestal than thou shouldest.  God preserveth His word far before the time of King James and shall perserveth His word forever, even in words that man can understandeth.

    My two cents.

    Todd

  • Posted by

    Todd,

    I love you man!!!

    Chris

  • Posted by

    Todd,
    “Thou speakest as a fool who doesn’t know when to clam up and listen to the other side.” You can’t put that book on a HIGH enough pedestal, fella!  Of course, the Bible was preserved before it.  In fact, it was preserved clear up until 1611.  That’s when God’s word was finally complete in the international language.  God foresaw that the best texts would be used by the men James appointed for the task and God did the rest.  The NIV is not improvement or revision of the KJV.  It’s not even the same line of Bibles. 
    -Jonathan

  • Posted by Todd Rhoades

    “Thou speakest as a fool who doesn’t know when to clam up and listen to the other side.”

    Jonathan,

    Congratulations… you’ve just fulfilled the stereotype of the KJV only person that many people see.  Do you see how unbending you are?

    This is not an arguement either one of us will win here… but while we’re sitting here arguing about it; there are people dying and going to hell.  I could care less whether they accept Jesus with the ‘thees and thous’ or ‘yous and yours’… the salvation message is still there and it endures. 

    Of course if you want complete understanding, we could just scrap the King James (that was worded by fallible man;) and go back to the original septuigent and other texts.  But wait… then most people wouldn’t understand it.

    Sames goes with the KJV.

    Sorry, brother… but it’s just not a fight worth fighting.  (at least by me).  Maybe you’ll find another taker here somewhere.  (I hope not).

    Todd

  • Posted by

    Todd,
    I am sadly aware that people are dying and going to hell.  This is terrible and I understand that the “message” is in the other versions of scripture.  I know that.
    My main point was that the issue is FINAL AUTHORITY, not a MESSAGE.  And the Septuagint is no more a reliable text of scripture than the Living Bible.  The Septuagint is not an original manuscript, but part of Origens Hexapla written 150 years after the birth of Christ.  There are no ORIGINALS to go to.  So, we must decide what to believe:1) That God preserved his word through agnostics in Alexandria, Egypt and the popes in Rome until the reformation happened, at which point, the true word was lost, until 1881, OR 2) God preserved his words through a church in pilgrimage running from persecution and finally making it into the english language through texts which came from saints which died for their faith.
    Fighting AGAINST the word of God and those who stand for it and callling them KJ Onlyists, is exactly what I would expect from a modern Christian who loves SCHOLARSHIP.
    I’m not looking for any “TAKERS”, Todd!  I’m just looking for someone who will honestly stand up for the book they believe in and give me a good reason for why they coupled KJ Onlyists with “Lesiure Christianity,” Chronicles of Narnia, Harry Potter, and the Da Vinci Code.
    Standing with God against the wisdom of this world,
    -Jonathan

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