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25 Easy Ways to Curb The Annoying Problem of Church Growth
Orginally published on Wednesday, March 28, 2007 at 6:48 AM
by Todd Rhoades
Matt Tullos writes, "For some people, church growth can be rather tedious. There’s the parking problems, the new people to get to know, the reduction of political power due to the influx of new people that don’t know you, the extra wear on the carpet, the noise of young children, the overuse of bathroom facilities . . . you name it..."
So as we contemplate growth, I thought I’d share a few ideas that could very well solve the spread of people throughout the foyer of your church’s worship center. Pick a couple and see what happens.
1. Begin your message with the phrase, “You know what’s wrong with you people...”
2. Place the Student Sunday School space near the “Ruth class” for ladies 70 and above.
3. Move business meetings to Sunday morning and open up the floor by asking, “So does anybody have a beef?”
4. Begin that year-long sermon series on the 40 weeks of Daniel.
5. Place a polygraph machine on the front pew to be used during the invitation time.
6. Place tire puncture strips in the parking lot for cars going the wrong way before Sunday School.
7. Pick a NASCAR driver as your favorite and complain about all the other drivers (this works best in Alabama).
8. Place the roller coaster “You must be this tall” sign at the entrance of the worship center. (And make it stand about 5’ 8 1/2”)
9. Keep the Christmas pageant livestock in the church choir room year round.
10. Announce that on high attendance Sunday, if the goal is met, everyone will kiss the pig!
You can read the rest of Matt’s top 25 here at LifeWay.com...
FOR DISCUSSION: Care to add a couple of your own?
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There are 6 Comments:
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Posted by Noel
Wednesday, March 28, 2007 at 7:55 AM
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Posted by Leonard
Wednesday, March 28, 2007 at 8:32 AM
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Posted by Noel
Wednesday, March 28, 2007 at 9:14 AM
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Posted by
Wednesday, March 28, 2007 at 10:00 AM
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Posted by
Wednesday, March 28, 2007 at 11:46 AM
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Posted by phill
Wednesday, March 28, 2007 at 1:16 PM
Post Your Comments:Awesome.
Now we don’t have to build that bigger building.
Have a shirts and skins sunday
That may have the opposite effect, Leonard. It’s like the church in Corinth.
Here’s a few tips to avoid growth, and relevance, too.
Make sure you don’t let new people serve in any capacity until they’ve shown that they can live a good Christian life for at least 12 months.
Don’t let young people lead or serve until they grow up and get some common sense.
leonard, you are too funny.
try actually preaching a real sermon from from God’s word and actually require people to live it out. that would pretty much end it right there.
Unfortunately to many do have business meetings on Sunday
A list of
Who’s sick
Who’s mad
Who’s that
Who’s this
And an announcement…lets meet in the basement after church and vote on something
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