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Andy Stanley on Choosing to Trust

Orginally published on Thursday, May 11, 2006 at 11:07 AM
by Todd Rhoades

Stanley[from Catalyst Monthly]  Andy Stanley writes... Trust is the currency of relationships. Great leaders cultivate a culture of trust, and thus a culture where relationships thrive. But how do you foster trust between members of your team?

For some, trust is not the intuitive choice. However, I believe it is just that. A choice. In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul says that along with forgiving, enduring, and bearing all things, love believes all things. We must reconcile the scriptural charge to believe all things with the fact that it is not always easy to do. If we believe it is possible for us to choose to love, or be kind, or be patient, then we must also believe we can choose to trust.

But the gap between what we expect of people and what they actually deliver makes it hard to trust. We can either fill that gap with trust or with suspicion. How we handle these opportunities is the greatest determining factor in the success or failure of the relationships in our organizations.

I started by saying that trust is the currency of relationships. Currency implies an exchange of one thing for another. Relationally, we give trust, and we expect trustworthiness in return. But trustworthiness is not a synonym for perfection. Trust is not built on flawless character, but on authenticity. I will extend trust to people who will admit their imperfections. It is people who defend their infallibility who make me suspicious.

There are situations that merit suspicion. What's important is how we handle them. When over time a person's actions erode our trust, and we believe those actions leave the organization vulnerable to harm, we have a responsibility . to talk to that person about it, (not the rest of the team), to address the gap, and give that person the opportunity to re-establish their trustworthiness. Trustworthy people will address the suspicion they've created.

I wish this principle were easy to implement. It's not. But it is crucial for building a strong team. Here are three things to keep in mind when a trust versus suspicion issue surfaces:

1. When there is a gap, choose to trust.
2. When you see others filling the gap with suspicion, come to the defense of the suspect.
3. If what you see continues to erode your trust, go to the person directly.

Great leaders create a culture in which people have learned how to trust. Modeling biblical trust as outlined in 1 Corinthians 13 is one of the greatest leadership strategies you can employ. Biblical trust is not denial - pretending that you don't see behavior that erodes your trust. It's not withdrawal - refusing to confront. The key is to choose to trust. When it becomes impossible to fill the gap between expectation and behavior with trust, ask for clarification.

Trust is the currency of relationships. Trust is a dynamic your team cannot afford to be without. Model it. Extend it. Choose to trust.

This article comes from a great monthly email newsletter I receive from Catalyst called Catalyst Monthly.  I would encourage you to join their subsription list.  They always have great articles!

FOR DISCUSSION:  Do you have trouble with trusting people with your ministry?  Why or why not?


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 TRACKBACKS: (0) There are 8 Comments:

  • Great, great, GREAT message!

    And in my experience with both the corporate world, and the “church” world, I have found that TRUST is far easier and many times more satisfying, in the CORPORATE world than in the “church world.”

    Why is that?

    I recently told a friend that my “pagan boss who is hell-bent and hell-bound” treats me with far more trust and respect than did my pastor of more than three years.

    That was a sad commentary for me to make.

    But it was absolutely true.

  • Posted by

    Trust is a big issue.  Can you congregation really trust you?  If they feel they can this gives great opportunities for you to minister.  On a side note it is hard for someone to trust a Pastor when they know he is going to leave in a year or two.  Staying for the long haul creates some trust in and of itself.
    Does your staff trust each other?  Do they feel open enough to share their ideas, or frustrations?  In order to be successfull as a staff you have to trust one another.  Although trust can be a choice, I think trust must be earned, real trust anyway.
    How can I trust someone I just met, or someone who will be gone in a year?  Do you get my point?

  • Posted by

    But what is trust?

  • Posted by

    I think trust is allowing someone to do what they said they would do, without suspicion. Allowing my wife to fulfill her role as my wife, allowing my friends to fulfill their roles as my friends, allowing my employees to fulfill their roles as my employees.  Complete trust until I have indisputable reason not to trust.
    So, the question is, does everyone know their role?  Are my wife and I on the same page regarding my role as her husband?  Likewise with my friends.  With employees it’s a bit easier as they have job descriptions.  I suppose Scripture is our “job description” regarding our relational roles.

  • Posted by

    Trust among a church staff begins with the senior pastor. I’m so grateful to be currently serving with a man who is completely trustworthy, and who also trusts his staff. I haven’t always been so fortunate. No matter the personal or philosophical differences, I will ALWAYS have unqualified loyalty to a senior pastor who I can trust. But for a senior pastor who has earned distrust, and has rejected attempts to address it, no amount of “choice” on the part of a staff member will overcome it. Take it from someone who’s been there: if you’re serving with a staff you can trust, thank God daily and learn to deal with the other issues you’re facing. You’re as close to heaven on earth as you’re going to be.

  • Posted by

    I have trouble trusting people in my ministry because I, like Phil, have found the pagan world to be a healthier place than the local church.  Maybe it is because in the world there is often a freer exchange of ideas but in the church there is no wiggle room for an exchange of ideas.
    Or it may well be the people I have encountered in the church just are mmore needier than the rest of the world and they cannot accept the idea that you haven’t cleared your ideas with them first.
    One lesson I learned in Seminary is that old wounds take the longest to heal.
    Peace

  • Posted by

    I currently volunteer at an independent Christian School and find the president to be a model for trust because he continually, purposefully and consistently presents a Biblical World View of the school mission and bathes it in prayer. 

    My thought is, too many people do not communicate their actual intentions up front and therefore “misunderstandings” become the norm. There is nothing more igniting than casting a “floating mission statement!”

  • Posted by

    Great Article… We do need to trust people more. If they fail, they fail, they after all they are human like we are, but when they fail they need to be treated with Grace.

    I believe that Jesus will hold us responsible like the man who owed money to a creditor and he begged for his very life and the creditor released him of his debt, but found someone who owed him very little had him arrested until he paid it back.

    Trust is something that is made and built. That is why I coined this phrase, “What took years to build, took only seconds to destroy.”

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