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How Close Are You To Leaving Ministry?

Orginally published on Monday, November 27, 2006 at 7:05 AM
by Todd Rhoades

Why do pastor's leave local churches? A new book gives us some insights. In their book, Pastors in Transition, Dean R. Hoge and Jacqueline Wenger give us some results from a recent Pulpit and Pew research project. Among the main reasons pastors are calling it quits:

--preference for another form of ministry
--the need to care for children or family
--conflict in the congregation
--conflict with denominational leaders
--burnout
--discouragement
--sexual misconduct
--divorce or marital problems

On a similar note, a recent article published in the Honolulu Advertiser:

--48% of pastors think their work is hazardous to their family well-being.
--45.5% will experience a burnout or a depression that will make them leave their jobs.
--70% percent say their self-esteem is lower now than when they started their position.
--Pastors have the second-highest divorce rate among professions.
--For every 20 people who go into the pastorate only one retires from the ministry.

Hoge and Wenger say in their book that their research showed that of all those pastors who had to leave their churches because of sexual misconduct, 75 percent indicated that they were lonely and isolated.

And across all denominations, the researchers kept hearing the same things from the pastors who are leaving:

--"I felt drained by demands.”
--"I felt lonely and isolated.”
--"I did not feel supported by denominational officials.”
--"I felt bored and constrained.”

As a matter of fact, the authors found that “These pastors tended to be loners in the district or presbytery, for whatever reason not part of ministerial friendship groups or action groups.”

Loneliness and isolationism are huge factors for pastors. I mean, who can a pastor confide in? Who can a pastor share his struggles with? Who can a pastor get help from when they need help?

It’s hard to talk to your peers sometimes; especially when you’re going through a dark period of sin or depression. Confidentiality is a factor. So is pride.

It’s hard to talk to your denominational leaders; especially when they are your boss; and control your future.

It’s hard to talk to your congregation; because you also have to be their pastor; and many have a hard time keeping your confidence a priority.

It’s hard to talk with your friends outside the church; mostly because most pastors don’t have any. (Sad, but true… most relationships of pastors and church leaders fall into the first three categories).

So… where do you find support and help as a pastor when you need it?

Let me offer MMI as a resource for you in this area. Maybe you’ve never really participated in MMI; just read the articles from time to time. What you’ll find here, though, is a growing group of caring pastors and church leaders who would love to help you; people you can confide in; people who care about you and your ministry. They are your peers from all across the country; serving neck-deep in ministry just like you. Many great relationships and friendships have grown out of people meeting and interacting here at MMI. And I invite you to that conversation.

What about confidentiality? Well, it is possible to have confidentiality here at MMI if you need it. Just add your comment or question confidentially (don’t use your real name or email address).

If you feel drained by demands; tell us about it. We’ll at least encourage you.

Feel lonely and isolated? The community at MMI can come along side you and lift you up?

Frustrated by your denominational officials? You’ll find, for once, that you’re not alone.

Feel bored and constrained? You’ll find conversation with some of the most innovative and motivated leaders will help you get your creative mojo back.

But it all starts with you… I offer MMI as one way to help strengthen your ministry and your personal walk. I hope that you’ll take a few minutes today to take the step to connect here at the website…

Take a few minutes today to introduce yourself or tell us where you’re at today. I think you’ll be glad you did!

Blessings,

Todd

If you’d like a copy of the book we talked about today, you can order a copy here…


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  There are 75 Comments:

  • Posted by

    I resonated so much with today’s article about leaving ministry. I feel like I am stuck in a losing situation with no where to go.
    I feel like I am wasting my time, gifts and talents. My hearts desire is to serve on a church staff where there is passion and excitement about reaching people for Christ. I’d love to hear from anyone that has words of wisdom or suggestions for me, blessings!

  • Posted by

    After leaving a church plant-- that I felt was going nowhere, I left behind almost 20 years in the ministry.  I searched and searched for a place that wanted a veteran Youth guy.  I searched and searched for a place that wanted someone like me with the gifts of evangelism, leadership, communication, and thinking outside the box.  It has been a 3 year pit.  While I have been working in the “real” world, I have found that many view my credentials from ministry as not much to offer.  Yes, I have been working in order to make money for my family.  I work very hard at being an example to the people around me of a person that at best loves God and finds HIm relevant in this crazy world, but in truth I doubt it matters much.  So, in my heart, I keep hope alive.  At 47 I know I still have it in me to do ministry, but I am starting to loose heart. There is much more to this story…

  • Posted by

    Good article this morning. I too have struggled recently with many of the issues listed; Lonliness, family strain, temptations, etc., etc. I have decided to give it one more go. I’m committing to stay at the church where I’m ministering and give it one more try. If I end up in the depressed/burnt out state that I found myself in again, I’m gone. Though I have realized through this that 90% of the things that have stressed me out are self imposed. So, I’m going to try and revamp and refocus my ministry so that I don’t put myself in the same position again.

    Peace and Hair Grease,
    Brian

  • Posted by

    I’m at a new ministry in South Texas. At my previous place, I was able to have friends in the congregation who were friends, and I was still able at some level to be their pastor. We left because we simply felt the Lord was done with us and the church needed different leadership to head for the next stage of life. Lots of risk involved in making friends with your flock, but for me in order to love them I have to like them also. And, it’s worth the risk when you look at the alternative (see Todd’s statistic above--THE PROFESSION WITH THE 2nd HIGHEST DIVORCE RATE!) At my new ministry, I have hopes of having some friends here and the local denominational leader seems really supporitve. If you wonder why it’s hard to find support, just read that big thread from last week--There’s some people you just can’t get close to. I really appreciate Todd’s ministry on this website, and the offer he makes.

    I have noticed--all the guys I went to Bible College (class of 84) and Seminary (class of 88) with--
    maybe 10% of us are in a pastor or staff position!! Many of the 10% are bivocational, but it is surprising the percentage is that low.

    Early in my ministry (right out of seminary) I experienced a church for 2.5 years that made me want to get out. Since then, the times I’ve wanted to quit have centered on money--I’d like to make more. I don’t know why I haven’t fallen by the wayside yet, but fortunately God put me in with a group of guys over the last 6 years (denominational leaders, no less) who worked really hard on helping us understand who we are and how God uses us.  This has given me a great sense of peace and accomplishment. Some of us were given 2 talents, some 5, some 10 or 20; all the Lord asked us to do with it is invest it . A 2 talent giftedness level isn’t going to produce the numbers of the 10 talent guy. BUT, that’s not what we’re asked to do.

    Know yourself, seek growth opportunities, rejoice for the work of the 10 talents guys (the mega guys) and the 2 talent guys (most pastors in America). Always consider it a privilege. “And I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has enabled me, for that He counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry.” 1 Tim. 1:12

  • Posted by Bro. Mark

    Great Article!!!  Just this morning, after a five day get away, my mind traversed the possibility of secular work.  I am soon brought back to my call and all that I gave up in order to minister.  I often think that I am too self centered when I think of moving back to the secular world.  The geographic location of where I pastor is totally different from what I am used to and this is taking a toll on me and my family ….. Self centered?  Oh well this was a good eye-opener, I am not the only one who is isolated and feel as though we are fighting a battle with our hands tied behind our backs.

    Blessings,
    Bro.  Mark

  • Posted by John H

    I have been in the ministry for 17 years.  One of the most valuable things I did and continue to do is surround myself with support and accountability.  I have always had a prayer partner (going on 11 years with my present one).  I have always been in a small group.  I have a weekly date with my wife.  And over the last 4 years I have invested in professional coaching.  Without the intentionality of those systems of health I would not be in the ministry.  With them, I have thrived, survived a major conflict within my calling and have thrived again, always growing my relationship with God and growing my leadership abilitites.

    I believe we have unique challenges within the ministry, but they are challenges that God will give us guidance through if we take the opportunities which God provides.

  • Posted by

    Hey, Todd!  I’m a long time lurker and occasional poster.  MMI has made me stop and reevaluate often.  On this week after Thanksgiving, I feel compelled to say how much I appreciate you and the work you are doing to encourage fellow ministers.

    Have a blessed holiday season!  smile
    Kim K

  • Posted by Joyce

    I needed this today. Someone to talk to. I am a woman in a church where I’ve been for an Associate for most of my nearly 9 years. The last year I’ve been in the role of Lead Pastor following the strained resignation of the Senior Pastor. I have been married for 21 years to a man who is often depressed to the point of being “shut down,” which is where he has been most of this holiday weekend. A year ago this past June he lost his job and after six months of looking decided to leverage some of our savings to buy a house to flip. It was supposed to take three months and $35K. Instead, it took nine months and nearly $90K. Now the house is on the market (who buys houses for Christmas gifts) and he has a job through a temp company that doesn’t pay enough for him to cover the cost of keeping the rehab house going until it sells. We spent some time this weekend slashing our budget to make things work but keep getting bad news through the mail of checks bouncing and bills due for the house that weren’t on his radar. Needless to say, that keeps him circling a bad place. I don’t feel I can be completely honest with anyone from church--they are depending on me to be strong for them during this transition, the duration of which is unknown. I feel angry at my husband, and on the edge myself. I’m in the office early today, but have a staff meeting shortly and a Ministry Assistant that drives me crazy on my best days. Can’t wait! I have considered whether or not I should put my husband in the hospital, but as I write this I wonder if that should be me. Thus begins a new week of ministry. I am working hard to do self care and am clinging on to the hope that we are not in this boat in the middle of the storm alone. I guess for now if Jesus wakes up and does something to let me know that, He can keep hitting the snooze alarm. Maybe one of these times, He will actually calm the storm. I know perfect peace is only going to come from keeping my mind focused on God, but I also have to figure out what steps to take to help us manage this crisis.

  • Posted by Mark Jaffrey

    Joyce,

    Wow.  I’m so sorry you are in such a tough place.  However, you are not alone.  Just sharing your troubles is a great start, and now at least one more person around the world is praying for you.  I really hope this comes across as sincere - God IS with you.  I’ve been in the house-over-budget-and-schedule place, in fact I’m there right now, it’s just that my house is 3,000 miles away, so that’s even harder to manage.  And God IS with me too.  I have peace about it and I’m praying for peace for you too.  And a solution, and healing for your husband, and a dream team of fellow servant leaders for you at church.

  • Posted by Joyce

    Mark,
    Thank you. I will wear your words of encouragement as a blessing today. May God bring you a glimpse of His heart for you today.

  • Posted by

    I am clinging to “ the joy of the Lord is my strength”. For me, refusing to let the conflict thrivers steal my joy is a big issue.

    We are in a struggling re-start after 10 plus years of bi-vocational ministry.  A good percentage of that ministry was cross cultural in the states, which had its unique set of pressures.  Talk about lonely!

    We have been here for a little over three years where my husband is the pastor.  I have been in professional ministry off and on throughout our 25 year marriage and am now an unpaid full time ministry worker.

    Too much to do, not enough people to delegate to in a struggling church.  Not enough financial support to make it.  We took a lot of risks to come here, uprooted our family, sold our house, and took a huge pay cut, that doesn’t fully support us.

    We are still confident that we made the right decision as crazy as it looks on paper.
    God is good.  He is faithful.  He wants vibrant ministry in this valley and we know He has a plan to use us here.  Over 50 made decisions for Christ this summer through our ministry. 2 are atttending church.  Frusrating?  Yes!

    Are we going to quit?  No!

  • Posted by Cory

    This is all so very sad to me. There is supposed to be joy in using our gifts from God.  Where is the joy, and how do we reclaim that?  The wisdom of loving God, then loving ourselves before we can love others is magnified in the obvious pain so many pastors are suffering.  And, quite frankly, if it makes you htat unhappy, it is time to move on.  I speak from experience.

  • Posted by

    Hello All,

    Fortunately, I’ve never committed to full time ministry. I’ve seen too much on a voluntary level to delve into that firey pit. I say to myself someday but reality keeps that from happening. The hardest part of it all is the struggle to avoid using what God has given me to further his kingdom. Its a horribly painful process that is nothing short of dying. In fact, death would sometimes be a relief. Not that I’m suicidal but its a sad fact that we suffer whether we do or don’t do what we are suppose to. Life is a complicate coil of corruption and deception choking those who trust in it. Trying to unwind its tight grip is futile. One thing I’ve also come to terms with is that I can appreciate the simple truth that the human spirit is tougher than I give it credit. At some point, I’ve come to the conclusion that God is still God and man is still man. We are unable to satisfy the void we have and the void never goes away. Salvation goes beyond the prayer and faith of God’s forgiveness. We must work for every day and in every day give thanks when at times there’s nothing to be thankful for. Regret is the realization that one did or did not try at some unforeseen path that could possibly lead you at the same place you are right now. Again where is our trust. Options or choices are simply metaphors for unknowns. By God’s grace we can choose but we can not determine the outcome. At the end of the day, our path is ours and ours alone to carry but God will not allow it to be more than we can bear. To the untrained eye these words seem obscure and cannot be decifered with rational thought; that is unless you’ve been in ministry. Great is the insight of those willing to working in God’s service but painful is his path.  If only there were an easy way to serve never wounding our spirits and crushing our courage. Time is the equasion in which we measure all things including life’s pursuit. Fortunately, God is not bound by it. The challenge of man is this. How do we embrace it. Sometimes we falter and sometimes waver always hoping that its sooner rather than later. As the story goes no one but God really knows. For without God in whom we trust, life for man is back to dust.

  • Posted by

    I normally post my name but am going to omit it this time. I hope you’ll accept my choice.

    I can affirm so much of what is in this book. Especially the part where my self esteem is lower than when I began the work but in many other areas too. I know I can look over my 20 years in ministry and see personal and church growth and successes but it seems the more one accomplishes the more people point out what you haven’t done. I don’t see much grace extended.

    I have been thinking about leaving the ministry lately for a couple of reasons, one I think where I am pastoring might need a different kind of pastor to take it to the next level, and second because I am tired of having to battle the same old entrenched traditions and arguments after so many years when there is so much more to do in reaching the world for Christ.

    One thing attractive to me about a secular job is that the goal is clear, make money. In the church, and some companies, people have perceived goals and actual goals. Perceived goals in the church are to see the church grow by people joinin. The actual goals are to be comfortable with a church they like and expect others to accept. I’ve been reading about the church house movement and it is getting attractive to me to have a secular job for income but minister to a small group in a house meeting.

    Todd, while I deeply appreciate the offer for MMI to be a place of refuge I hesitate to do so because I have seen, like in ministers in my area, too much recrimination and posturing from some on the board to feel at ease openly airing my inward personal thoughts. I believe that isn’t the attitude of everyone on the board, and I seen very supporting responses even in this post, and I absolutely accept that is not your attitude but the one or two, or three and four, that do seem to know it all and never have any doubts about what they are doing are enough to make one nervous about sharing.

    However, I don’t want you to heavily edit or block posts as, overall, I like the liberty of free exchange. Recently, I’ve gotten involved in a local minister’s group who meet for lunch monthly, but unfortunately it isn’t a supportive group for airing thoughts..

  • Posted by Leonard

    Usually we might say this one touched a nerve, but more accurately it touched hearts.  For those who are posting and sharing their hearts I wanted to say thank you for your honesty and for entrusting this information to us.  I am going to be praying for you today. 

    I have been at it for over 27 years, the first 6 were bi-vocational.  Of the 27, 18 were spent in youth ministry and 10 in the senior pastorate.  (I pastored 2 churches at the same times for 1 year, one as a youth pastor and another as a senior pastor.) I never feel close to leaving ministry but sometimes I have felt close to quitting.  The quitting part usually left after a great nap and some fries.  Here are a couple things I have done to help me stay fresh. 

    I stay hungry to learn and grow – This turns most experiences into something I am learning or need to learn and keeps me choosing humility.  Teachability and humility are choices we make that foster healthiness in our souls. 

    I stay accountable to other people – This keeps me in a state of “becoming” VS being stuck.  For most accountability is designed to keep someone from stumbling, but for I have built accountability to be something that helps me become what I am supposed to be.  It is more proactive than reactive. 

    I draw my acceptance from sources other than ministry – This keeps me from using people to make myself feel better.  Instead of needing the “atta boy” from my church I receive it from other places.  To do this I have to foster friendships. 

    I keep my family relationships healthy – This keeps me from being pulled apart by guilt and calling.  I make no apology for prioritizing my wife and kids; I make my staff do the same.  This requires regular untouchable times with family. 

    I keep a start time and end time to my days – This forces me to work smarter.  Sure I have meetings in the morning at times and in the evenings too, but I will not have more than 2 early morning meetings in a week and more than 3 nights out a week. Emergencies cause adjustments but as a habit, this is my standard. 

    I take care of my soul – This keeps MY from using my strength to accomplish GODS work.  This is too much to post here but later today I will post on my blog how I keep my soul fresh.  Click my name and it will take you there.

    I do things I can finish – Much of the work of ministry is never done.  I have chosen hobbies that I can finish and get feedback from that enable me to be creative or active.  One of these hobbies is cooking.  This gives me a sense of completion with each meal and immediate feedback (usually positive) for my effort. I also hunt, fish, camp, 4X4, read, golf and hike. 

    I keep relationship healthy – I try not to give conflict much time to embitter hearts.  By the time a heart is poisoned with bitterness you usually have to wade through a swamp of pain and conflict to get to healthiness.  I try to go there quickly, before the swamp happens.

    Sorry for the long post.

  • Posted by

    Great article Todd! 

    I have been in ministry since I was sixteen years old.  I realized I could not seperate ministry from my vocation whether I was working in a church or outside the church.  God wants us to “Show Others God Lives” 24/7, and I have decided that it really doesn’t matter if I am a paid professional minister or a salesman.  My mission in life doesn’t change because my vocation changes. 

    I have served on a mega church staff for most of my professional ministry days, but currently I am a bi-vocational church planting pastor.  I have had thirteen years in the corporate arena where I have won more people to Christ than when I was in “Full-time ministry.” There is no difference in the two unless you make it different.  This was difficult for me to get my heart around at first, but as time passed I realized the fruit I was seeing produced in my life increased, I became more convinced that God had made the corporate ministry as sacred as the church ministry.

    With over 750 individuals won to Christ in the marketplace over the past 18 years, I would say there is plenty of room for more ministry guys in the marketplace.  The fruit is hanging so low that anyone with a heart for ministry would love to serve in the “Corporate” setting.  There are no ministry expectations put on you verses the “perfection” that the church puts on you.  The fruit is so easily produced and so greatly appreciated by the individuals receiving the care and ministry.  The fruit inside the church is more difficult with little to no appreciation for the effort.  Did I mention that the pay in the “Corporate” setting is two to three times the church setting. 

    Please do not think I have given up on the church setting...remember I am planting a church and the amount of effort that has taken over the past five years is enormous.  The church is healthy and blessed but in the eyes of most who judge by the numbers we are barely a blip on the radar today.  I believe you can do both and succeed at both with God’s help.  It does get lonely from time to time but when that loneliness comes calling I go spend more time with the Master and it seems to evaporate as quickly as it came.

    Keep the faith, run the race for the prize of “Well done my good and faithful servant.” Let’s all persevere until that glorious day when we meet the Jesus in the heavens!  Do not grow weary in well doing.

    Blessings!

  • Posted by kent

    I have been in ministry for 25 years. I have served small and mid size churches in Iowa, Michigan and now in suburban Chicago. I have been cared for by God for having served relatively healthy churches. My tenures have been 4 years, 15 years and how currently 6.5 years.

    I have also watched people in church work in corporations and have seen the nonsense they have had top put up with. Being laid off after receiving a good review because the home office said these people have to go. Hating the people they work with, being ground to a pulp because of office politics, having to deal with incompetent and vindictive bosses. Yup working in the church can have its challenges. No question. Leadership flops, unrealistic expectations, odd hours, never a sense of completion, no real measure for success and limited resources. But it is no picnic in the corporate world.

    Joyce, no has to tell you that it is coming at you from all sides. If it were noly on side you could deal with it, but when it is home, finances and church it is more than one can take. It is well worth being honest with people, if there are people you can trust in the church. They have resources and connections that make a world of difference. God has placed you in their midst not simply to served, but also be served by them. Yes you wil be payed for.

  • Posted by

    Everyone;
    I know many of you will not read this short entry. But I’ve been and in some ways still where many of you are at. I have experienced and felt many of the points mentioned (Not sexual misconduct PTL or divorce).
    I am preparing to leave ministry if this next step of “faith” doesn’t work.  I have a family who has needed me for the past 20 years and I haven’t been there for them because of my lack of balance in ministry and the reasons stated above.
    That’s why I want one more try at it only this time taking the rejected, beat-up, ex-ministers and put together a team. I would be the Lead Pastor, but form a team of men and women with heart, soul and “outside of the box” ideas and start our own church.
    I’m investing in a family business for one reason to be financially well enough off to launch our own ministry.
    It is in the Lord’s hands and His only. With so many of us feeling the way we do, can we honestly believe this is what God intended for His body?
    I still believe there is something higher that we’re missing. Denominational lines don’t get it, partly because they have to play the party game, and I’m sick of the party games.  But unfortunately you have to play the game or you’re out of job. Forget what God thinks or wants, go the party line.
    Anyway I’d love to take all of you and start our own church. I know we’d scuffle and argue, but at least it would be in honesty, integrity and an openness to be real.
    God Bless,
    JIM

  • Posted by

    Kent,

    Certainly, the corporate setting is no bed of roses.  We face challenges everywhere we serve regardless of the location.  Many of the issues you mentioned that happen to employees in the corporate setting also happen in the church.  I have witnessed as much political posturing, impure motives, and mismanaged employes in the church and probably more so than in the corporate setting.  I have been very fortunate to work for some of America’s best companies where I didn’t witness much of what you have described, but I do know it goes on.

    The challenges that Joyce is facing are very real and extremely difficult.  The thing I have found is that the congregation most times are more than willing to come along side of their pastor just as the pastor is willing to come along side of the congregation during tender seasons.  The challenge is knowing when to be totally transparent on both sides.  Many times the openness of the pastor allows an opportunity for the congregation to give back to the very person who has given so much to them.  There are some risks involved in being transparent but I believe the rewards out weigh the risks.  Obviously, in each situation we need to pray and hear the Lord about how or if we are to open up like that.  When we face the impossible situations of life that positions us for the miraculous power of God to come. 

    My prayers are certainly with you Joyce and all of us guys in the ministry who face these very difficult situations of life.  May we respond in a way that gives the most glory to our Lord and his church, so more lost people will see our sincerity and love for each other and come to the saving knowledge of Christ.

    More Blessings

  • Posted by

    Jim,

    Please email me. I am interested in your theories.  My emails is:  . I’m just wondering if this is the same Jim I met here or is this some other Jim. I guess I’ll find out. Thanks for all of your words. I may not always post but I try to read. Though my previous words seem more poetical than anything else, I hope that what I said rang true to what others have so kindly shared. I feel as though I am trapped in two worlds. Neither of which, seem good right now. But as I stated earlier, to not serve God would be worse. If that even seems possible for so many of us right now. God bless.

  • Posted by

    Jim,

    I have a very dear friend who had a moral failure about ten years ago and resigned from church ministry.  God was gracious to him and has enabled him to heal his marriage and family.  He does a lot of work with other fallen men and God has blessed him with very keen insight as to what steps should happen and how.  If you would like to contact him please email me at and I will pass along his name and contact information for you.  My prayers are with you and your church family.

    Boe Parrish

  • Posted by

    Praying for those who have responded… and those who have not as of yet or never will.

    Yesterday morning as I went into the room, there was but only one sitting there. Having spent a good amount of time preparing, I felt as if it was time wasted. Yet, as I put aside the lesson for the day and started really spending one-on-one time with this individual… my eyes were opened. She really needed to talk. I needed to listen and just be there and offer whatever encouragement I possible could. It was time very well spent.

    Throughout the afternoon she and I kept talking via myspace. A place in which I never honestly thought I would ever use in ministry until last weekend. By the time the evening was over she had created a place on myspace groups for us to use to reach out to others. She had sent out invitations to several to join. This morning when I checked it, there were indeed several who had joined. They’ve never walked into our physical church building but they’ve connected with us through myspace. She asked me if we could post our lessons on a weekly basis in the group site as well as on my own personal myspace - to cover the bases. Wow! Was I the one ever encouraged by her actions and thoughts?

    This morning I received another message from TW via myspace as well. (Look in the forums section under prayer requests) She asked me to pray for her and said she loves me. HUGE!!!!!!! I was afraid that either myself or the group as a whole had scared her off completely.

    Yesterday morning when I walked into that room and only saw the one - admittedly I was frustrated and disappointed. What was our lesson to have been on? In the spirit of Thanksgiving. Last week’s lesson ended with the following two challenges: 1) Give thanks for things this week that are not easy; 2) Trust in God with something this week that you didn’t last week. Today I’ve been taught a few lessons and am thankful.

  • Posted by

    Our church just recently hired a Senior Pastor who will begin after the new year.  There is myself and one other pastor on staff here.  Some people look at me as a pastor and some do not because they feel I do not have the education to be called such.  That’s neither here nor there. 

    The issue is that the two of us, I’m 26 and he’s 25, have kept this church going for over a year now.  Our church is almost 40 years old and a congregation of over 300, most of who are over 35 years of age.  We hear often the things that are wrong or the things that no one likes.  We both are recently married within the last 3 years and are both new parents.  We have had to make some major sacrifices ( family wise ) over the last year and no one recognizes this.  For pastor appreciation month, nothing was done until the last day of the month when I someone over heard me comment to the other pastor “I guess they forgot about us this year.” That’s when someone ran to the restaraunt a mile down the road and got us two gift certificates that were presented to us in the service and the way the presentation was made, it was this huge over the top ordeal.  I don’t know about him, but I know that I have been considering a change.  I’ve been in church ministry since I was 13 and I have seen it happen many times.  Now it’s happening to me.

  • Posted by kent

    Boe -

    I agree the that the behavior in the church is more often than not what we ouht to have to put up with. Yes there is gossiping and failure to come through on what was promised, politics in the church regularly exceeds anything in the secular world. There are over 400,000 churches in the USA, there are going to a number of “klinkers” in the bunch.

    My question is why are we surpised? We are flooded with sinners. With all that has been written about the church why are shocked to find politics in the church. Pastoral salaries have been low for a long time. We all knew that coming in. No one ought to be stunned at this. Aggravating, yes. Frustrating, yes. Shocking, no. And if we are lonely, aren’t we also responsible to do something about that? I have had to find those I can trust as friends and meet with them, pray with them, and yes I made a few mistakes about that ,but there are people out there and God is faithful he will send us what we need.

    Ministry is not easy, but it is amazing. For those who have been crushed by serving Jesus my heart goes out for them and I am angry on their behalf. We stand together hopefully and prayerfully.

  • Posted by

    Your article today was encouraging and made me feel less alone.  I was the Associate Pastor of our church and was in the unfortunate position of finding my senior pastor involved in some very ungodly situations.  After approaching him privately, as the Bible dictates, he went on the attack against my reputation, my family, and my ministry.  The leadership of our denomination refused to initiate an investigation because, in their words, he was “an elder and thus above reproach.”

    My family and I were ejected from the church (which then shattered, sadly), my children have been deeply wounded.  My ministry now is soley to my children and others who were hurt by this man.  I am no longer in full time ministry, and may never be again.

    I struggle with how to fulfill the call God has put on my life while protecting my family from further harm, and in a religious community where women in full-time ministry are often regarded with hostility.
    Thanks for offering this safe place to share with others.

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