To me, this sounds like authentic sorrow and genuine repentance - a case in which grace will much more abound.  We see so many “I’m sorry” statements that come from being sorry that “I was caught”.  It is so refreshing to see what I genuinely believe to be the real deal.  May God restore this brother.

Focus on the Family has a wonderful resource for Pastors.  Because I believe we must “take heed, lest we fall”, I faithfully spend time at Parsonage.org and listen to the seminars.  One of the points they make over and over is the difference between “reconciliation” and “restoration”.  They work hard to reconcile a fallen pastor into a right relationship to God and a healthy relationship with his family.  However, as far as his being restored back into the role of Pastor, that is a totally different matter.  This brother is showing a wonderful spirit of repentance and is setting a fine example for other pastor’s that may stumble.  King David experienced adultery and God still used him in some fantastic ways.  God bless our brother and uphold him in prayer.

Don’t forget to leave the past in the past & that on any given day Satan will steal your joy, the purpose God has for you, & any Blessing God will want you to have. i know, I struggle with the past everyday.

As I read this letter, I could sense the brokeness in Brad’s heart.  I placed myself in Brad’s place, asking myself what if that was my letter.  Instantly it helped me think of safeguards I need to put in place so that I might never have to write that same kind of letter.

May God’s grace bring Brad through the restoration process until he is able to minister God’s Word again.  God’s gifts and callings are without repentance.  God can still use a broken man.

I believe that Brian’s apology was sincere.  It took a lot for him to be honest about the sin in his life.  Most people would have been as forthcoming as he has been.  Thank God for His forgivng restoring power.

I think there is great value in the fact that this was written one year after - not in the shameful wake of being discovered or scandalized.

I don’t know Brad, but I know of this experience and the shame, pain, and death it brings.  Yet also, I know the possibilities that are borne out of the relentless grace of God.

Grace, at times, is a velvet-covered brick.  But it is faithful, even when we aren’t.

For the very kind, grace-giving responses, thank you.  For Melody’s hesitation...thank you.  Your concern for my ex-wife and my precious children is genuine and well-placed.  I am in daily relationship with my children, and frequent contact with my ex-wife.  Over the past year, we have talked with depth about the harm I have done, the wounds I inflicted and healing process.

However, I have kept those very personal conversations with them out of my blog.  So, what gives the impression of not addressing their needs, is actually a protection for their feelings and a respect for their privacy.

again, to each of you...thanks...brad

but for the grace of God go I

hi Jared--

First, let me acknowledge that you are not alone in your question. Here’s the scoop, it is possible to repent and remain in this relationship with Heidi.  I’m not married. She’s not married, we find ourselves deeply sorrowful for the sin of our beginning. We battled to stop, prayed and yet succumed to devastating behavior.

As divorced people, we each go to our own Christian therapists. We met with the pastor and wife of the church we attend to lay out where we are on the journey. And we have prayed diligently for God to put our sin under the blood so we can begin again. In that new beginning we are dating each other hoping we can build something redemptive.

David and Bathsheba had to endure the horrific nightmare of death. Then God used their next child, Solomon, to carry forward the lineage toward Christ. Only men are named in that lineage of Jesus in Matthew, with the exception of four women. Of those four, one was Rahab the harlot, the other was Bathsheba.

I don’t know God’s full intention with that but for a couple like Heidi and I, it inspires hope.

Regarding good communicator’s being good deceivers---so damn true. I used Gods gift to cover sin. That is why, I write so openly about my a@•* because an ugly truth is better than a pretty lie.  Clever deception nearly killed me.

Regarding grace: you show maturity by offering it even though you don’t understand.  Understanding we each need it is enough understanding to give it.  Thank you. 

Brad

Hi Bret...I appreciate your comments and those of others.  It’s pushing me to articulate the journey in clearer terms, hopefully more helpful terms.  It’s pushing me to put disparate thoughts on paper.

Let me take your points one at a time:  To Repent...means to turn.

I had rebelled from God, His work and faithfulness as a follower of Jesus.  I HAVE TURNED BACK and follow again.

I was in an active state of adultery.  I am NO LONGER in that state.

I was as angry at non-grace-givers as non-grace givers were at me...I’ve turned from such a heart of hatred.

In more ways than I can enumerate, I HAVE TURNED.

Regarding GRACE....I do believe that the leaders of the church, who have the ability to speak on behalf of, or make statements for the whole, have had the ability, but not desire to direct the church toward extending grace.

I was not removed as an elder.  Before anyone knew of my sin, I resigned fro the shame within me.
So, I wasn’t fired, I tried to get
out before harm could come to the church.
And though individuals have been merciful...leaders;officials of the church have not,

Brad:
I appreciate your authenticity and transparency. I am praying that your journey towards redemption continues and that you ultimately are able to minister to those who have walked in your same shoes. You and I both know that the gifts and calling God has given you are still in effect, but on hold. Follow the peace of God throughout this journey. One small bit of final advice and I will butt out of your business: Make it a habit to truly examine your motives and be sure that you are not justifying what you want and calling it the will of God. It is so easy to do.
I am praying for you and I believe you are going to rise again and bless the body of Christ and inspire unbelievers to believe and trust God. Romans 8:28
-Danny Daniels

Brad:

To repent does mean to turn as a result of a change of mind, a change of heart which leads to a change in action.

What have you turned from?  The situation around you has changed, making your relationship no longer adultrous as a result of divorce.  But what have you done proactively, what have you changed or turned from, as a display of your repentance.

Your blog contains writings about how your on an island....we all fall short...there must be a lot of islands out there.

You write how you were a hero at the church, ow a zero....man....I pray there are no zeros in church.

While you write that you are not singling any Christians out you also maintain that the leaders of the church are who you are addressing...those are individuals...you want the leaders and church, en masse, to diplay grace towards you.  How exactly do you want that done?

You left a month prior to addressing the real problem to the church...then, accoridng to you, you went back to the elders to explain because of rumors (not repentance, but rumors).  The congregation had no opportunity to gather around you and pray ( as I have witnessed in church when an elder has stumbled).  What keeps you out of those pews?  Go back into that church as a member of the congegration, humbly...I bet you will witness more displays of kindness, gratitude and love than you will ever know this side of heaven.  What keeps you out of there, pride, shame....?

Instead of being in the back pew of your new church, head bowed, anonymous, perhaps you should be head bowed at the alter, humble, forgetting how you appear towards man, with all intent toward God.  That ‘s meant metaphorically as well as literally, meaning your blog does nothing to persuade, me at least, of a humbled heart.  You are forgiven, thats a given, in Adam we all fall and y’all it was all the way, (to quote CMR).  Take yourself out of the limelight and victimhood you are craving and get in His word, graciously and with humilty.

At last but most importantly:

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
Roma 5:3-5