Or the other thought is… ANYWHERE - HALLELUJAH!

Leonard,

Did you mean spit ya?  Like Jonah?

Sorry… I’d give ‘em a list. I know of a handful of churches in my area that would be GREAT to attend. Unfortunately what is often happening is that people are running away from problems. That’s no good either. I would suggest they confront and work to solve those problems, but not everyone does.

I am in very regular contact with a guy who has made a very painful (for me mostly) exit from our church TWICE in the past two years. I work VERY hard to maintain a good friendship with him, and so far, for my part, I’ve succeeded.

Oh, but the cartoon is really funny, to be sure…

Interesting topic.  Peter, thanks for saying you’d give a list...thats nice, and was heartening to read.  I came close to asking my former pastor that very question but didn’t because I thought it might be a bit much to ask another human deal with what would most likely feel like personal rejection...even though it wasn’t.  I still have very warm feelings towards my former church and respect for the integrity and wisdom of my former pastor...I’m just not as conservative as I used to be. 

And no, for you who might be wondering, I wasn’t high maintenance.  I volunteered (where needed, not just where I felt “gifted"), tithed and gave sacrificially above that, brought new people into my church, and worked diligently to learn more about God.

If at all possible, ya’ gotta’ help ‘em find a home.  Surely you know churches in your area that might a better fit, churches they might feel more comfortable with?  If your church is a bit “progressive”, encourage them to them to visit a more conservative church you think they could connect with.  Or vice versa.  Develop relationships with other churches in the area, and not just churches of a like mind.

And, like Peter suggests, they may be running away from problems, is there a church in your area that might be well suited to helping them with those problems? 

When I was helping plant our previous church, I found that our Pastor had a recommendation for whatever he thought someone was looking for.  As long as it kept them in the Kingdom.

If your first thought was in agreement with the cartoon, or “If you’re not coming to my church I don’t care where you go or what you do”, or “I’m not here to cater to your needs”, are you really doing your best to serve the Kingdom.

What you do may determine whether they are leaving “your” church, or leaving “the’” church altogether.  I would personally escort them and introduce them to a new church if I thought it would help them.  Because it’s not “our” church, it’s God’s church and every church is part of it.

Oh, and I thought the cartoon was funny.

I actually appreciate the honesty and courage of those who have come to me and let me know they were leaving the church.  It is always a challenge to deal with such issues and often there are some sincere reasons.  When they come to me, I will meet with them and we talk ... I want to know we could have done better [if possible] and want to know if possibly it is God calling them to minister elsewhere.  Sometimes I believe we pastors are too quick to fix blame on ourselves or the other person.  It is a hard temptation to resist.  Most times the folks that come to me that leave are often leaving because our small church does not have a ministry they need [usually youth ministry or a different form of music ministry].  So I will give them my recommendations of what churches to consider. 

I had one family that worshiped with us for six months.  They called me to let me know they loved our church but were going to join a church of 400...as they were used to worship in a larger church.  I agreed and blessed them.  Two years later they left that church and came back.  They missed the fellowship and intimacy of our smaller church. 

The real tragedy are those who quietly leave, won’t return the phone calls, and this leads to whispers and rumors in the flock.  Those folks to a great disservice to the kingdom.  At least when I talk with someone I can gain some insight to quell any rumors and also have additional information to take to the church counsel for real change.  Because if we are the problem, then we are obligated to fix the situation Lord willing.

I would say if it is what they want to do then help them find a better place.  if they have not solved their problems before leaving they will meet the challenge again somewhere else. if i am the problem because of a biblical stance then they certainly will meet the challenge again.  all things work together for the good of them that love God.