HOME | CONTRIBUTE A STORY! | ABOUT MMI | CATEGORIES OF INTEREST | CONTACT ME


fallen pastors

Pastors in Rehab

Orginally published on Wednesday, December 08, 2004 at 9:29 AM
by Todd Rhoades

Any thoughts on this article, (by Hazel Trice Edney from Atlanta Daily World)?  Clergy counsel their congregations in times of distress, but to whom do they turn in their time of need?  When you are serving a large group of people, it is an emotionally draining exercise," Interdenominational Theological Center President Dr. Michael A. Battle said. "Ministers are constantly in a giving mode, so it is difficult for them to be on the receiving end of compassion…

Rev. Kenneth Dennis is a prime example. He seemed to have it all. At 38, he was the successful pastor of the socially active Greater Mount Moriah Baptist Church in Richmond, Va.

    That was 10 years ago. Now, Dennis could be headed for a jail. Twice convicted of drunk driving and once convicted of cocaine-possession over the past seven months, he has attended a string of court hearings and enrolled in drug and alcohol rehabilitation.

    Similar stories are repeated throughout the country, leaving behind devastated wives and families, angry and divided congregations, preachers fighting their own leadership boards and ending in tortured personal humiliation and self-loathing.  Atlanta is no exception.

    Issues involving family and finances may push clergy into counseling, Battle said.

    "After their children grow up and leave, and they look back over their lives, some clergy realize they were more present for their members' children than their own children," he said.  "They go through a period of regret.

    "Another frustration for some clergy is financial issues," Battle continued.  "Most ministers are not well off and may make incomes that barely make ends meet."

   And, too often they feel isolated, with nowhere to turn.

    Fear is one reason why some clergy do not seek counseling, he said.

     "Some congregations have created a perfect image of their minister," Battle said.  "If a minister reveals a problem, then he may fear he will be abandoned by his congregation.

    "Some ministers do not even talk to other clergy but rather carry their burden alone," he continued.

    Battle suggests several coping mechanisms for clergy.

    "They should establish close, confidential relationships with other ministers who are academically trained in pastoral counseling," he said.  "Ministers should establish relationships with ministers from other denominations.

    "They should have confidence in the ability of well-trained pastoral counselors," Battle continued.

    Clergy's myriad responsibilities may also factor into the need for counseling, Providence Missionary Baptist Church Senior Pastor Rev. Dr. Gerald L. Durley said.

    "You are often counseling people who are dealing with a great deal of stress such as a death in the family or loss of a job," he said.  "This is not just a Sunday morning job. 

    "This is a 7 days a week, 24 hours a day kind of job," Durley continued.  "You are always on call."

    Durley, who is also a licensed psychologist, suggests clergy should develop more stress relieving techniques to handle an often demanding profession.

    "Every pastor needs a pastor," he said.  "Someone in whom they have total confidence, someone who will tell them, in a loving and supportive way, the truth about what they are going through and someone who will be able to objectively reflect on their situation. 

    "Pastors must take time out for themselves.  It will give them a new sense of refreshment," he continued.  "Finally, and this is critical, pastors must keep a sense of humor and be able to laugh at themselves.  This relieves stress so as to allow God to work through them."   

    The issue of clergy in need of counseling is an epidemic, Bishop T.D. Jakes said in an interview.    

    "Most clergy become clergy because they feel called to make a difference and they have passion for people in pain because they've been there themselves," he said.  "But just because a doctor is a physician doesn't mean that he can't get the flu.

   Jakes organized a three-day pastors' conference in September and called it "Leading While Bleeding." It drew more than 6,000 clerics from across the country to his Potter's House in Dallas.

        Hundreds of ministerial leaders stepped forward at the Jakes conference, confessing to weaknesses, failures and sins that they would normally preach about to their congregations.  Following the conference, Jakes has been directing pastors to the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC) in Forest, Va., which has a network of 7,000 counselors across the country.

    Dennis, the pastor from Richmond, said he feels better now that he has no more secrets about his lifestyle. His congregation voted to keep him as pastor. "I've lost a bunch of so-called friends," he said. "I don't get to preach at other churches anymore. Other than that, I'm okay."

    Jakes said pastors play a special role in Black America.

    "The Black community has never had a president, only a preacher. And from Frederick Douglass to Martin Luther King to Jesse Jackson to Al Sharpton to T. D. Jakes, it doesn't matter who you want to name, they're always clergy," he said. "And so, if we lose our clergy, what then? We must preserve them. And when they're sick, we must heal them. And when they're broken, we must fix them."

      The "Leading While Bleeding" conference was just a beginning, Jakes said.

    He plans to build a center where troubled pastors and their spouses can get help out of the public spotlight.

    "You can't just go to a secular place when you have a spiritual problem. You are a spiritual being so your [perspective] affects how you process sin, how you process marriage, how you process lust. It's all filtered through this religious filter," Jakes said. "And I would love to be a part of lighting a candle for pastors and their wives."

I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments!


This post has been viewed 464 times so far.


 TRACKBACKS: (0) There are 8 Comments:

  • Posted by

    I think this article is very timely and looks at a crisis affecting our brethren and sisters in ministry. We cannot look the other way and we must address it head on.

    So much in the church, in the the news, and even in our personal lives is warring against our integrity. This issue is fighting many of us from the inside. Bishop Jakes is right: we need to have those we can talk to in these times and a place (if not places) where we can go to deal with sin and compromise from a spiritual perspective.

    I have been in ministry for over 20 years and have seen many failings up close and personal. Truthfully, I have had my own challenges, but it has been God’s grace that has kept me, healed me, and kept me in ministry. Several years ago I went to a counselor, but I wanted to make sure he had a biblical Christian perspctive (this is very hard to find). Most counselors are trained not to divulge this information, but I pressed for it. I was able to make some headway, but just think how much better it would have been if there were more men/women of integrity apparent/available, or if there was a place like Bishop Jakes desires to build?

    Finally, one of my constant prayers for leadership in God’s house is “purify the sons of Levi.” We need help. So many have compromised the integrity of this calling which has made it harder for those of us who still serving faithfully. Judging by the “many” posts, I can see we are not ready to talk about this subject. Hopefully we can before the casualties get any higher.

  • Posted by

    I am just about in tears.  Not only is this such a timely topic for Pastors, but it really touches all those in the body of Christ.  There are so many unhappy Christians in churches, in families, amongst friends and co-workers, all crying out for help.  At some point in our Christian walk, we all have experience trying to live up to what people expect from us as “Christians”.  We have all tried to fight demons on our own in shame that people will only remember the ugly and not the good that we have done.  This “mask” is really added weight that needs to be set aside.  I applaud Bishop Jakes for not compromising the truth that Pastors experience.  Too often members worship the man and not God.  Once we as the body Christ can come to the understanding that we are only righteous through Christ, not by our works, it will make our walk more about pleasing God and less about man.  I pray always for Pastors across the world for you have a special assignment from God and we need you healthy.  You are in my prayers:):)

  • Posted by

    I want to address this subject from a personal standpoint. I was a Pastor, who has failed in sin, and walked out of failure. This is not a pretty subject to talk about, but my hope is that it ministers to those that read it. I have actually finished writing my manuscript and pray that it will be published in book form soon. The book is called; “The Garbage Man Always Comes On Fridays.” It speaks of the steps I took to walk out of sin, attempted suicide, and finding hope for my tomorrow. I wish I had a place to go in the midst of my sin. I was afraid of my fellow ministers and afraid of what people thought of me. I was a people pleaser, not a God pleaser. An approval addict. I wrapped my identity in being a Pastor and not in who I was in Christ. My failure brought this all out. I couldn’t find the strength or the next step to go on, that is why anger lead the way as I attempted to try and kill myself by overdosing with sleeping pills. There are so many reasons why I ended up in the emergency room, but the main one was my world, as I knew it, was stripped away from me. I lost my ministry as Associate Pastor, I lost my integrity, I lost my pay check, I lost my friends and church family. Thank God my husband forgave me and my family loved me through it. It is interesting that God moves close to failures, but people move away. I was an outcast. My closest friends from the church had nothing to do with me. I hated my self and felt shame and the pain that brings. It took a long time for me to forgive others, let alone myself. It has been three years now, and healing has come. Through God’s refining fire in my heart and character. My failure brought a richness in my marriage. It litterally transformed it. The failure brought a transformation in my relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ. It brought me to know my “Secret Place” with God that I never really had. It also brought about a new trust for God, in the midst of all the ashes, to trust He could give me a second chance and a new beginning. My manuscript/book explains all of this in detail, but I’m thankful for a forgiving, restoring God of the second chance.
    If you want to reach me to talk or learn how I overcame failure, please email me:
    God bless all of you. There is hope after failure. You can make it, one step at a time. Allow God to search deep inside of you and be willing to give God back control of your life, your dreams, and your ministry.
    In Christ forgiving grace,
    Rev. Kristine A. Belfils

  • Posted by

    I, too, have experienced the brokeness of failure and sin in the ministry.  My husband’s sin led to the loss of his ministry, income, friends, church.  Suddenly and traumatically.  Our young children were devestated.  Our marriage had already been suffering, but God used this devestation to rebuild and restore and transform us, slowly, over a period of the last couple of years.  It is true--God draws close to the brokenhearted while the church often shuts them out.  Today my husband has taken a new position in another state, and we are cautiously, humbly rebuilding the ministry God began for us four years ago, this time in a new church.
    Fortunately, a few kind and good friends drew near to us during the crisis I mentioned, but most never called, wrote a letter, or spoke to us again.  Rejection stings, but it cuts even more when we are shamed by sins and failures that ministers are supposed to “be above.”
    One of the saving graces for us was attending a ten day Brief Intensive Counseling session at Stonegate in Larkspur Colorado.  I high reccommend it. You can get info. via internet, or through Focus on the Family.  I also reccommend Harry Schaumburg’s book, False Intimacy.
    There is hope for those in ministry who have suffered from sin and failure--and for those who are hiding their sins even now.  Pastors need pastors.  As the wife of a pastor, I highly reccomend to other wives that they guard with all diligence the sacredness of their homes and families.  It is THE number one priority.  I am blessed to have a husband who today guards the home alongside of me as we humbly walk together before our God.

  • Posted by

    Friends and fellow warriors for Christ!
    We are currently in the stages of developing a ministry that will allow ministers and their families in these type of situations as well as abuse by church situations a place to come and rest while they work through some of the issues in their lives. Although we do not want people to stay forever, we want them to stay until they are ready to go back and serve the Lord in fullness again. It will be provided free to them and will supply them food, housing and a place of worship along with secular employment through local merchants in the areas as we are not able to pay eveyone’s bills. We are getting together trained and certified counselors to help work through some of these problems, will have lawyers on retainer and will even work to find a way to help get them to us in sunny southern Mississippi.  God is looking for us to help those that are hurting. Blessings! Randy

  • Posted by

    This is a hard subject, and I don’t mean to sound angry and legalistic when I speak my opinion. It is just MY opinion, so take it for what it is.

    I’ve known a few pastors who have fallen, and here are the things I’ve observed as almost constant.

    1.) Private time with God is gone- You cannot pour water out of an empty jar. The fact is that we are responsible to set a date every day with God, where He can recharge, refill, and refocus us. Right now, I work a secular job. I also am involved in leadership. I need my morning date with God before I even go to my secular job! How much more does a pastor need to be spending time alone every day with the Lord. I know a very successful pastor here who told me that one of the reasons his church is thriving is that he goes in every morning at 5am to spend time with the Lord before anyone else gets there. It seems to me that a good way of insulating ones self from failure in ministry is to make a date with God and make intimacy and one on one time with Him the top priority in ministry and life.

    2.) Ministry is not a career designed for the typical white-collar, middle-class suburban family with a mortgage, two kids, two cars, and a 401K. Ministry, at least in my mind, is missional. It’s about giving our lives away. I had to count the cost before jumping in.
    For example:
    - I may never own my own home.

    - I may never have a new car.

    - I may have to pay out of pocket for medical insurance.

    - I may never be able to retire(as if there is such a thing as ministry retirement.)

    - Other people will always have criticisms, arguments, and not-so-nice things to say about me.

    - I will always have to be gracious and pleasant 24x7.

    - I will have to learn to love people I don’t like.

    - Likely, I will be required to work secularly for at least part of my ministerial life.

    - For a time in their lives, my children will likely resent the church, Christianity, and their dad as well.

    - I’ll have enough to meet needs, but fall far short on the “wants.”

    Now, what could possibly be worth all of that?

    “Well done, thou good and faithful servant”

    So, to lessen the chances of failure:

    1.) Be alone with God

    2.) Understand that you signed up for a 24/7, low-paying, low-status, high service, multi-faceted calling. Either resolve to give your life away completely and serve wholeheartedly no matter the cost, whether time, talent, or treasure, or maybe think about finding another career that will provide the security and schedule that is needed.

    If I have offended anyone, I am sincerely sorry.

  • Posted by

    No offense taken John and in most of this I agree. However, I would like to comment on one item in your list.  If you lose your family for the sake of your church, you have lost too much.  “What shall it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his own soul?” Your children are part of your soul.  I have heard the priority list put like this and I think while it is hard to maintain, it must be so: God, family, church, self.

  • Posted by

    The idea the clergy members are super human is silly.  No clergyman claims to be perfect, and it’s rather disgusting the pleasure people take in their downfalls.  I prefer to think of clergymen as social workers- people dedicate their lives to helping the community for little pay- rather than people who hold themselves out to be perfect.  Nonetheless, people will continue to hold the clergy to superhuman standards, and that kind of pressure and unrealistic expectation can, I believe, drive some clergy to problems with drinking, drugs, depression, etc.  There really needs to be a support system in place to reduce the odds of these things happening.
    ---
    Alan S.
    Los Angeles DUI lawyer

  • Page 1 of 1 pages

Post Your Comments:

Name:

Email:

Location:

URL:

Live Comment Preview:

Remember my personal information

Notify me of follow-up comments?

Please enter the word you see in the image below: