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Top Ten Signs Your Pastoral Church Job Search Is Not Going Well

Orginally published on Friday, October 08, 2004 at 7:16 AM
by Todd Rhoades

A special thanks to MMI reader Robert Brooks who sent this my way.  I thought it was very funny:  10. Average time between sending in application and receiving rejection notice: 5-7 minutes.  9. On eight different job search websites there’s a picture of you with the caption “Don’t bother applying.” 8. You keep getting responses rejecting you for the position but encouraging you to apply for “Pastor of Folding Bulletins.”

7. Every opening you see needs a minimum of 25 years experience at a church of at least 10,000 members.

6. You find out that the "salary package + health benefits" for your "perfect job" consist of "Love Offerings" and some Band-Aids.

5. The search committee asks if you'd be willing to accept a salary cut in order to pay for their tickets to see the local NASCAR race.

4. One position involves you signing an affidavit insisting that you've "never struggled with worry, doubt, confusion or disagreeing with your spouse.?

3. When you call to follow up on your resume, the church secretary hangs up on you. After swearing at you.

2. You and your family might be able to make the salary package work if the government repeals the child labor laws.

1. The head elder says "We?ll pitch the parsonage for you as soon as we can find some stakes."

Any thoughts? Maybe one that you'd like to add to the list? Just click on 'comments' below to share with the world.



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 TRACKBACKS: (0) There are 17 Comments:

  • Posted by Chris Fowler

    If the church motto is: “If God will keep you humble, we’ll keep you poor.”

  • Posted by

    Typical Ministry Job Opening:

    “We are looking for a man who is able to do everything--mow the grass, clean the church, make everybody happy, and make the church grow--all by himself. (In other words, we don’t want to take up our own cross, we want the pastor to carry it for us) He must have an absolutely perfect wife and, of course, have perfectly well-behaved children.

    Must have at least a master’s degree from an accredited seminary, have 10 years’ experience pastoring a church at least our size, and must agree with every jot and tittle of our church constitution & bylaws as well as our doctrinal statement. Also, the deacon board is able to fire him with no notice, whenever they think he needs to go. We want a man who is relevant and cutting edge, but who at the same time perfectly fits our preconceived vision (no boat rockers, no one who might challenge us).

    Must be great with children, and especially with teens. (If our teens backslide it can only be the pastor’s fault, not the parents’).

    He must have graduate level education and extensive experience in counseling, and also must keep regular office hours at the church, praying and studying to give us a spiritually uplifting sermon every Sunday morning (because we have neither the time nor the inclination to study the word on our own to and become mature believers, and must be forever spoon-fed the truth by the ordained).

    He is expected to never miss a hospital visitation, even if we don’t let anyone know we’re in the hospital.

    Bivocational position to start, with church being able to afford a salary of 10K a year to start. No parsonage available at this time. Interested parties should submit resume, at least three personal and three ministerial references, and must provide a DVD sample of his ministry. Only those meeting our basic requirements (seminary degree and 10 years’ experience as a senior pastor in a church our size) need apply.

    Church of the Perpetually Whiney,
    Anytown, USA

  • Posted by Bernie Dehler

    If that’s funny, I guess it’s funny in a very sad way…

    ...Bernie
    http://www.FreeGoodNews.com

  • Posted by

    I am a retired Army Master Sergeant.  I was licensed after I retired.  I was seeking a full-time position with a church.  I received a call from a Director of Missions who asked if I could be bivocation for one church or serve two churches.  The compensation package was way below average for that region - but he added, “With your retirement you should have no problem.” After telling him that my “retirement” was set aside to pay for my sons’ college, he then said, “How desperate are you to pastor a church?”

    Not that desperate!

  • Posted by

    As a Pastor looking for a church to Pastor it seems to me many of the churches are raising the bar to high for Pastors. They want you to have all these degrees, many years of pastoring a church of five hundred
    or better and go through their denomicnational hoops. I’m glad Jesus just choose Men and Women who just wanted to do His work.

    Praying

  • Posted by

    I think the bar needs to be raised.  When we look at the fact that leading a church is one of the most important and difficult tasks in the world and when we see the amount of damage which is done to churches through poor leadership, churches really need to take their time finding a good pastor.  Churches also need to do their very best to care for a good pastor when they find one.  When our expectations of our pastors are high, we need to make sure that our investment in them is also high.

  • Posted by

    I agree with Al.  The bar should be high because it is important.

    The problem that I have as a young pastor who recently graduated from Seminary is that many of the churches are unwilling to give me a chance to do anything but youth ministry.

    I think that the key issue is that if churches want the ideal pastor they have to be willing to support that pastor.  If the Church universal is lacking quality leaders then maybe it is because all of the natural leaders are choosing to go into the business world where they can support their families.  It used to be that being a pastor was considered a high calling, but now it seems that people wonder why anyone would ever want to become a pastor.  It shouldn’t be this way.  With the next generation we must change the perception of what life is like for pastors and how they are cared for and supported by the church if we want the best leaders to be leading the church

  • Posted by

    You should try being a female with two seminary degrees and graying hair. Few churches today are looking for a pastor over 50 regardless of your gifts, experience or commitment. Also, most associates receive less than half the salary, benefits and respect as the senior pastor. I have been looking to move for two years only to hear over and over, “We want a young pastor.”

  • Posted by

    Michelle

    I have heard similar frustrations from pastor friends who are 50+ from where I stand it appears that unless you are 35-50 with the right kind of experience it is hard to find a church that wants you.

    I don’t want anyone to assume I am not trusting God in all of this.  It is helpful to be able to vent frustration to someone other than the Lord as well.

  • Posted by

    It is sad that we older ministers of the Gospel are not able to find churches to pastor. I have 20+ years of experience and all I hear is that we want someone younger. We older men and women have the experience and wisdom to handle many situations yet the churches feel that we are over the hill.

  • Posted by

    Many churches today are desiring a young pastor but one with the qualifications and expierience that only a vetern of 20+ years could have. The larger churches want an expierienced pastor 35- or less with10-15 years expierience with a congregation of over 1000.
    I have pastored five churches in the past 25 years, some very financially secure works with staffs of five or more under me, none ran over 1000, but many had as many problems or more than larger churches.

  • Posted by

    Let me throw this one out there. From the above comments it seems like most of us feel that (at least some) churches aren’t giving enough people a chance to pastor, or aren’t open to a wider variety of people, ie, they have a very specific type of person and qualifications that they won’t stray from.

    Does this emphasize the wisdom of the “high” churches that have bishops and overseers who might appoint someone that the church doesn’t necessarily think is good for them, but actually turns out to be good for them? What do you think? (I’m not from a high church background at all).

  • Posted by

    I’ll be 50 in less than a year.  Strike one!  If you think churches want their senior pastors young, that goes double for worship pastors.  Strike two!  But those factors are nothing.  I’ve been on medical disability for two years because of a misdiagnosed condition exacerbated by misapplied neuro-psychological prescription drugs.  With a new diagnosis and drugs that work, my mental state is fine and the ministry is gone.  You can guess how quickly the phone interviews end once I am asked to explain the 2 years missing on my resume.  Strike three - I’m out!  I’ve got a family to support.  Will work (any kind) for food!

  • Posted by

    I am a 42 year old man who God called from the business world to enter full-time ministry for the first time as a worship leader only two years ago.  I have neither music training nor do I play an instrument.  On the surface it made no sense, but I knew if it was God-ordained, it would see fruition.  Amazingly (or not so amazingly...see last sentence) I was hired by a church as worship leader through an internet search. 

    After 1 1/2 years, I felt God leading me to consider church planting.  Again, not much chance that anyone would approve me for that task since I do not have a degree.  But after sending in an application to attend a Church Planter Assessment Center, I was invited to attend.  I will never forget an answer to my concerns that greatly surprised me.  When expressing doubt that I would not be considered because I did not have a degree, I was told that the leaders of the Assessment Center often think the church is dying by degrees. 

    After 4 intensive days with couples from around the country, my wife and I received their highest rating to plant a new church. 

    4 months into the process, we are running over 70 in attendance.  God is doing remarkable things before our very eyes. 

    While I readily acknowledge that few if any churches would have been willing to consider me for either position, if God is in it, we can trust that he will see it through.

  • Posted by

    Iam an African pastor, odained in the united methodist church in Drc. Iam Bachelor of Divinity holder from Africa university in Zimbabwe.
    I have four year church experience.

    I am so willingly to join you and fellowship together with the joy of the lord.

    Shalom.

    Rev john Mutombo.

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  • Posted by

    I am a “young pastor” (still in my 20’s) with 2 masters degrees a Doctor of Ministry degree and 7 years of full-time Senior Pastor experience.  As of today, I have sent out 63 resumes and have been rejected (or just ignored) by these churches simply because of my age. 

    I certainly can identify with the older men who feel they are being disqualified because of their age.  However, I’m just on the opposite end of the spectrum. 

    It is frustrating, but I know that every closed door is simply God’s way of guiding us into His open one.

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