Top Things I Hope NOT to Find Under My Tree in the Morning…

Orginally published on Monday, December 24, 2007 at 10:45 AM
by Todd Rhoades

Merry Christmas! The weather and a busy schedule have caused me not to be able to send the MMI email for a few weeks, so I hope today finds you well and ready for a great celebration of Christ's birth tomorrow. Here are some things that I hope I DON'T find under my tree in the morning... Don't get me wrong, I'm sure they're probably the perfect gift for someone on your list... just not me...

The IWJO (I Watch Joel Osteen) Lapel Pin

Again, this is for real… "Show your support for Pastor Joel and spread the message of his ministry by wearing this beautiful pin. As non-believers ask their co-workers, friends and neighbors about the I W J O logo, it will give them the opportunity to learn about and receive Christ as their Savior through Pastor Joel’s Ministry at Lakewood Church. (Excuse me… but I find it hard to find much of the salvation message many times when listening to Joel himself… This, to me, is really just a cheap knock-off of the Jerry Fawell "Jesus First" pin that I used to own… I think I’ll pass on this one… please don’t buy this for me this holiday season).  Price:  $4.95 + shipping/handling.  (Car decals are also available.)  You can order here.

The Best of the Hagee’s

"The songs found on this recording will speak to your heart in a way that will inspire you to action for the cause of Christ. This praise and worship recording, filled with the Holy Spirit, will inspire you."  (Sorry, it’s just not my type of music.  I did order one for some good friends on my list though! available here.

 

Jonah and the Great Fish w/removable plush Jonah

Little ones will giggle with delight at the unexpected sight of this great big wonderful plush fish. And when they pull Jonah out of the fish’s belly no worse for wear, the most wonderful of Old Testament stories will come to life. This fish’s mouth opens up wide for access to a 15” deep belly pocket that holds not only Jonah himself but other favorite toys. Press the embroidered heart on the fish’s flipper to hear a child’s voice recite the words of Jonah 1:17. Made from the softest imaginable polyester with equally soft lining, and wonderfully huggable. Available here.

 

"Jesus Hates it When You Smoke" Ashtray

Jesus, the Prince of Peace gazes balefully upwards at your approaching cigarette… How does that make you feel? ‘JESUS HATES IT WHEN YOU SMOKE’ reads the print inside this provocative, righteous ashtray.  Sticker on bottom reads: "use of this product may be hazardous to your health and/or eternal soul".  (This’d be a great soul-winning tool for those ‘turn or burn’ sign holders).  They’re a steal at just $12.00, available here.

 

"Follow the Son" John 8:12 Sandals-Men’s

Fashionable footwear with EVA sole, plush utrasuede straps, and insole with die cut outsole that leaves behind "FOLLOW JESUS" in the sand or on the pool deck. When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life." (John 8:12) These puppies are available in either tan OR black; and in cases of 12 pairs at a time. Available here.

 

Rock Music vs. The God of the Bible

An extensive examination of rock music and its evil influence on society. Chapters include "My Experience with Rock Music" (the author’s testimony), "The Roots of Rock" (focusing on the blues, jazz, black spirituals, and Southern Gospel) [NO NO NO… not SOUTHERN GOSPEL!!!], "Rock and Rebellion," "Rock Music and Insanity," "Rock Musicians as Mediums," "Rock Music and Pagan Religion," "Death Metal Rock Music," "How to Raise a Rock and Roll Rebel." 480 pages, $19.95.  Available here—hurry there’s a limited supply left!

Here are some honorable mentions. Please don’t get these for me either:

The Jerry Falwell Living Christmas Tree LP

The Eyes of Tammy Faye Poster

Jesus Christ Christmas Color Light Set

Talking Jesus Doll

Santa Worshiping Baby Jesus Figurine

The Gay and Lesbian Study Bible

"Top Dog" w/Chuck Norris DVD

John MacArthur’s "Satan’s Strategy for Stealing the Church" Cassette tape

Team Jesus (Large Blanket/Throw)

Jimmy Swaggart Autographed 8x10, signed ‘to Bob’

The Living New Testament on Cassette (read by TBN’s Jan Crouch)

OK… there’s my list of things I hope I don’t find. What’s yours?

Have a great Christmas!

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Hi... I'm Todd Rhoades. I'm a Christ-follower, husband, father and I love to connect leaders with other leaders. Hopefully you'll find something here at MMI you like and will return often. If you want, you can find out more about me or follow my every step on Twitter.

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