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‘Weaker Brother’ Asked to Leave Men’s Group

Orginally published on Friday, March 17, 2006 at 9:30 AM
by Todd Rhoades

ATHENS, Ga. — Tired of accommodating their legalistic friend, members of a men's group have asked Harold Beihn to loosen up or move on.

"His standard of personal holiness fits us a little too tight," says one member.

But Beihn says he just "wanted my guys to be holy as the Lord is holy. I think God put me in their lives to remind them of the rules."

By all accounts, Beihn's lifestyle was out of synch with the others'. He vetoed most activities the other guys wanted to do because they "didn't accord with righteous living." This ruled out movies, sporting events, even bowling because the atmosphere at the lanes is "too loose," says Beihn.

Beihn also took accountability so seriously that he often called the other men at 7:30 a.m. and asked, "Did you kiss your wife yet?" If the answer was no, he'd report them to the men's ministry pastor.

The situation recently came to a head when everyone but Beihn wanted to play darts and drink beer every Monday night in their garages, creating a casual venue for inviting unsaved friends.

But Beihn had a major hang-up with it.

"He kept saying, 'Darts, I can handle, but beer — I can't go there, guys,'" says one member. Subsequently, the other members asked Beihn to leave the group, saying they were "moving in different directions."

Beihn joined another group, which he enjoys and whose members "run a tighter ship, morally speaking."

"They have respect for the rules I live by," says Beihn. "We get along great."

----NOTE: before you get all in a tussy; this is a piece of satire... it didn't really happen.

Todd

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TRACKBACKS: (0) There are 8 Comments:

Posted by

Friday, March 17, 2006 at 10:27 AM

This is great stuff. When I was a youth pastor for a Naz church in Oregon I found an old booklet that the teens refered to as, “The Sacred Orange Book.” It was actually called, “Problems that Vex the Christian Teen.”

I would read from it on occasion,(with a great deal of authority), the many teachings of the “Sacred Orange Book.” It was full of old school holiness teachings that were extreme legalism. One example taught us that when a boy puts his arm around a girl he has a base desire for evil. The author told the story of a girl who once kissed a boy and got a desease that rotted away the roof of her mouth until you could see her brains.

There is much we can learn about true holiness, but that’s a discussion for another day.

Have a great St. Patty’s Day.

Ed.
Posted by

Friday, March 17, 2006 at 10:35 AM

This did too happen!

The NEW group that Harold Beihn found himself “equally yoked” with was an Amish Promise Keepers spin-off. Of course since they don’t have phones, Harold has to get up at 4:00 to make personal visits to their homes on his bicycle. This has increased his feelings of humble self-importance, and fed his soul in regards to his own suffering for the kingdom. His only solace is that he knows he is keeping himself “pure and undefiled by the world” and is sure he will hear Jesus say, “well done.”
Posted by

Friday, March 17, 2006 at 1:26 PM

If you’re going to use fables Todd to tell your story about me, the least you could do is get a better looking photo!

(why didn’t you use skip’s… lol)
Posted by

Friday, March 17, 2006 at 7:18 PM

Now that I know what BEHIM looks like I have notified the Missing Person’s Bureau, no I’m sorry it’s was America’s mosted wanted… Just kidding BeHim… Love you buddy.

HEY TODD, DID NOT KNOW IF YOU WHERE A OHIO ST. FAN OR NOT BUT THEY DID A GOOD JOB TODAY, CONGRATS........
Posted by

Saturday, March 18, 2006 at 12:23 AM

I kept trying to keep that darned photo from getting out.
Posted by

Saturday, March 18, 2006 at 10:07 AM

Hook this guy up with the one who wants money for beer!
Posted by

Saturday, March 18, 2006 at 4:50 PM

Peter,

Where do you think he just came from… That’s why he has that sloppy drunk smile on his face and his hair is messed up…

Just kidding guys…
Posted by

Sunday, March 19, 2006 at 10:11 AM

This guy forgot to read the warning label on his Holy Ghost gun. It states that over use can cause abnormalties and may cause frizzy hair!

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