MondayMorningInsight - Leadership & Encouragement for Church Leaders

Blogging Maturity 101

Posted by: Todd
Posted on: Tue, June 28, 2005
Viewed 75
(6) comments so far

Tally writes:

Because blogging is relatively new for most people I'd like to think that many of the people who are involved with blogging are adolescents in their use of this new medium. As with young people there is an uncertainty among those who are learning the blogging world. For many of these otherwise fine individuals the urge to make an ignorant remark is simply too strong. The perceived glory is far too great and the self-centeredness takes hold under the guise of "to god (g) be the glory!" With some angry "Christian" bloggers, God simply becomes a means to an end. The end being the feeling of "winning" a blogging boxing match.

So, for all my friends who are learning how to blog (and comment on blogs):

1. Each blog you visit is the internet "home" of someone.
You wouldn't dare walk into a home and run your mouth at the host. It's inappropriate to do on blogs as well. It's just ugly and you end up looking stupid. Don't do it. It's immature.

2. Any attack on a blog is a public attack.
It's one thing to debate a friend in college where it's you two in a room or sitting out on the grass with no one else around. Imagine if you took some of those debates and broadcasted them to every dorm room on campus. Yeah. Be aware of what you say. You can look stupid, no matter how 'valid' your point may be.

3. It takes time to type so people will judge you a little tougher.
When everyone knows you took time to type your thought it gets a little more scrutiny than if you just said something in a conversation. It's one thing (still dumb) to blurt out something ignorant in a conversation b/c you don't have the facts or you come off as rude but to type it solidifies any thought of you being immature or ignorant. Read what you type. You have time to think it through!

4. A sign of maturity is the ability to delay gratification.
One thing that separates a mature person from the immature is the ability to hold back from immediate gratification. This is true for the blog world. We all have opinions.

If you have a brain you have a thought, but not every thought has to be brought forward and presented in the dialogue. I try to operate on terms of 'value added'. When I'm considering posting I ask "Is what I'm about to say going to add value to the conversation?" My "opinion" sometimes means NOTHING to the core of the author's post. Therefore I keep my golden brain to myself no matter how great I think I may be at the time.

5. Look up the term Ad Hominem.
I'll do the work for you: [link]

The jest of an Ad hominem is that it's an attack on the person rather than the argument. I see this so much in the blog world it makes me sick.
Goes a little like this--

Author: "So and so is doing something amazing for God."
Immature Blogger: "So and so is a blank and blank. Why doesn't so and so just become more humble, LIKE ME!"

Don't attack the person. If you disagree and you must get your thought on record, do it in a civil way. Don't go after people. If you must, talk about the idea presented.

6. You can be both true and Wrong at the same time!
For many immature bloggers they don't understand that perception is reality. Although the context of what they are saying is true, how they are spraying is wrong. For effective communication both parts must be able to be received.. the saying AND the spraying.

Those who don't want to work to make their communication better received by their audience have lowered themselves to bully status. "I'll say what I want and you WILL listen or else". The 'or else' in blog world is usually "Or else I'll keep posting!"

So there you have it... some thoughts to consider. If you don't like them it's okay to disagree. Just disagree in the right manner and we can all play in the sandbox together.

Thanks, Tally... I couldn't have said it better! I hope you all agree!

Todd

Tally Wilgis had a great post last week about blogging and some great rules for keeping blogs positive. As many of you know, we’ve had our own ‘growing pains’ here at the MMIBLog from time to time… people biting each other’s heads off, throwing punches, etc. But it’s really because we’re a diverse group that comes from a lot of different backgrounds. And, it seems, we’re all passionate about what we believe. Tally’s thoughts were so good, I’m going to post it, along with our rules on a new reference page here at the blog. Thanks, Tally!

Comments

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Shawn Wood on Tue, June 28, 2005

another Ed youngism

http://www.mmiblog.com/monday_morning_insight_we/2005/06/seven_great_quo.html

“If your right but your rude…your wrong”
Todd Rhoades on Tue, June 28, 2005

I really like that one… I’ll add that to my list as well!

Thanks, Shawn!

Todd
BeHim on Tue, June 28, 2005

Is right (Truth) and wrong (lies) perceived (ie subjective to the individual)?

Is rudeness perceived (ie subjective to the individual).

It has been my experience that whenever someone is proven to be in error (and all who side with him/her) they accuse the other of being rude, arrogant, insensative and feel compelled to usually associate them with various other “names” (ie. name calling).

It is true that face-to-face many of these discussions would have ended long ago but because a person “can” continue in error (continue to blog and defend a wrong position) does not make them “right” in calling the other person arrogant, rude, stupid or immature. It’s a telltale sign someone has lost - they start calling names. We’ve all seen it, especially as children. Also, remember the starting questions. Truth and lies cannot be perceived so when someone attempts to defend a wrong position against Truth, it is not an opinion that matters (perception) but Truth that matters (no matter how well or not so well communicated). We really need to get over hurt feelings and emotions determining Truth. Christians should look past the things that hurt and ask themselves - “is what they are saying Scripturally True? Is there credence to what is being communicated Scripturally acurate?” Most of what I experience is people just want to defend their position no matter what is being said - Scripturally or otherwise.

Much of Ad Hominem comes across as a personal attack because you are questioning a person’s belief. No one likes their personal belief to be tested and thus it “seems” personal (which in reality it is very personal - even though they are not name calling or degrading a person it is definately perceived as arrogant because it challenges their belief system).

BTW. Perception is reality is another way for saying: What I believe to be right is right in my eyes (OR what “we” perceive to be right is right in “our” eyes). Perception is everything is the standard of the world, not Scripture. God IS reality! Amen!

Truth doesn’t change because of perception. It just makes one person look like they don’t know what they believe which is taken very personal.

When someone comes in knowing what they believe and why, they are many times considered arrogant (pereceived) but in fact, it can also be perceived as confident.

David I’m sure seemed arrogant to many of the Israelites (especially David’s older brother) and definately Goliath but guess what. David was confident and BOLD in knowing Who God IS. As were Paul and Peter.

I of course think it is immature to call people “immature” or “you look stupid” but when someone loses a discussion, that is usually all they are left with - calling people names.

If I walked into your house and you asked me what I thought of Joel Osteen, I would respond, I believe he preaches a different gospel (which btw, happened this weekend). The discussion would either end there or as it did this weekend, continue with. Why do you say that? I would then present my case (which I did, from Scripture) and they would present theirs (which they based solely on how they felt about his messages). In then we parted ways, friends, but he knew where I stood and I knew where he stood. It ended there. On blogs, people keep going and others join in on both sides and respond on responses to others… it gets out of control because beliefs are personal and if there is no action to point out truth from false, it will continue to the end of time or until someone curses. If you want to truly moderate, moderate Truth and False (as a “judge” would)… talk about difficutl but I’ll tell you what, you’ll grow in the Knowledge of Grace and Jesus QUICK. A judge must be unbiased and weigh the evidence (in this case Scriptural basis). Tough to do because we all have biases (world views and beliefs).

Anyway, that’s my thoughts on the matter. Hope you don’t mind.

If I’m wrong, I don’t mind being revealed where I’m wrong. It’s helps me grow.
Rich Viel on Wed, June 29, 2005

Be Him said “It has been my experience that whenever someone is proven to be in error (and all who side with him/her) they accuse the other of being rude, arrogant, insensative and feel compelled to usually associate them with various other “names” (ie. name calling).”

I agree with this and find it to be true almost all the time. However, I would just point out that being “right” does not automatically exempt someone from being “rude.” Even when we are on the side of truth we need to be careful how we say what we say. If we come across as condensending or arrogant, our argument (no matter how correct) looses force.

Man, I hope I didn’t just come across as condensending or arrogant.
Todd Rhoades on Wed, June 29, 2005

“Even when we are on the side of truth we need to be careful how we say what we say. If we come across as condensending or arrogant, our argument (no matter how correct) looses force.”

That’s all Ed Young’s quote was about. He says, “If you’re right but you’re rude…you’re wrong”.

Think about it… you can be right and be obnoxious; but in your obnoxisity you lose the arguement.

Truth is truth. period. But in order to be believed you must have credibility.

And if you’re rude while trying to portray what you think is the truth (as some have done here on this blog), you do nothing for your side of the argument. Don’t think people get upset because you’re right. People get upset because you’re rude. People get upset because you don’t hold others opinions with any value. And people get upset because the words you type are just… well… rude.

It all goes back to the way you say things. I can debate a theological point passionately, but as soon as I do so while making the other person feel like an idiot, I’ve lost my argument.

I find it interesting that we’re arguing about even about the points of etiquette and maturity.

Todd
thx on Wed, June 29, 2005

Since I have trouble communicating on blogs, especially on issues I’m very passionate about, it found these points helpful. Sometimes people simply stop responding to me, and I feel like I killed the entire thread—even with a “brilliant” comment.

I think that Marshall McLuhan would call Internet blogs, like radio, a “hot” medium, and sometimes it’s tough to get away from that talk radio mentality—or an even worse version of it. I don’t know if I’ll be able to abide by these suggestions any more than I obey the things in the bible that I know I should do, but they’re something to shoot for.

Thank you.