Christian School: You Can’t Graduate ‘Cause You Went to the Prom
- Posted by: Todd
- Posted on: Mon, May 18, 2009
- Viewed 263
- (24) comments so far
Strike one: Girls in low-cut dresses
Strike two: Girls in low-cut dresses, dancing.
Strike three: Watching girls in low-cut dresses, dancing.
You’re out.
From an AP article: The student in question, Tyler Frost, said he thought he had handled the situation properly. Findlay requires students from other schools attending the prom to get a signature from their principal, which Frost did.
“I expected a short lecture about making the right decisions and not doing something stupid,” Frost said. “I thought I would get his signature and that would be the end.”
England acknowledged signing the form but warned Frost there would be consequences if he attended the dance. England then took the issue to a school committee made up of church members, who decided to threaten Frost with suspension.
“In life, we constantly make decisions whether we are going to please self or please God. (Frost) chose one path, and the school committee chose the other,” England said.
The handbook for the 84-student Christian school says rock music “is part of the counterculture which seeks to implant seeds of rebellion in young people’s hearts and minds.”
England said Frost’s family should not be surprised by the school’s position.
“For the parents to claim any injustice regarding this issue is at best forgetful and at worst disingenuous,” he said. “It is our hope that the student and his parents will abide by the policies they have already agreed to.”
--For the record… it was this type of teaching that kept me from my high school proms. Instead, we did a cheap mock-off of the prom where we ate a chinsey meal; and took a trip to an amusement park (where the boys sat on one side of the bus; girls on the other.) I’m surprised they let us ride the roller coasters together.
This type of Christianity makes me sad; but I know that many involved are sincere and want to do the right thing. It just makes it hard when everything is a sin (and everything is a sin if you’re in this camp for long). Legalism is ugly.
When I saw Tyler interviewed on the local news station, he said that he would think that the people at the school and church (whom he’d know since he was in kindergarten) would give him a little more credit… they should know that he just wanted to go to the prom to be with his girlfriend, not to lust and take part of evil, worldly music.
So… what do you think? Should the boy been allowed to graduate? Or should he be not surprised, since he is in violation of the school handbook.
PS --You can read the whole article here...
OK... so this is happening less than an hour from where I live, and is getting a good amount of local press. So... this kid goes to a Christian school all his life, then decides to go to the local high school prom with his girlfriend. The Christian School then decides to not allow him to graduate because he has gone against the school rules. According to the school, the reasoning being that rock music "is part of the counterculture which seeks to implant seeds of rebellion in young people's hearts and minds." According to the school principal: "When the school committee ... set up the policy regarding dancing, I am confident that they had the principle of fleeing lustful situations in mind ... should a Christian place themselves at an event where young ladies will have low-cut dresses and be dancing in them." Give me a freaking break...
Comments
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CindyK on Mon, May 18, 2009
I don’t understand isolationism. We are not of this world, but we live in this world. How are we to fulfill the great commission if we sequester ourselves away from everyone, and everything else?
Still, in defense of that school, the boy and his parents did agree on the terms of education at that place. No one forced his parents to enroll their child there.
I do not agree with the philosophy of that particular school, so I’d not send my daughter there. If I did, I would fully expect to have to comply with their terms.
I feel bad for him, but he volunteered to follow those legalistic rules.
Scott on Mon, May 18, 2009
I couldn’t disagree more with the restrictive, legalistic rules the school and the church - but as has been mentioned, the kid and his folks knew what the rules were, and were even warned by the principal about “consequences.”
He went knowing what was at risk, and wants to cry foul now? Sorry, it doesn’t work that way.
Lori on Mon, May 18, 2009
Let me first say that I graduated from a large Christian school. It however, was not a “fundamentalist” denominational school. There were rules that applied to outside of school that could get you in trouble and they were, sex, drugs, alcohol, smoking or criminal activity. Other activities were not allowed in school like rock music, dancing, PDA, etc. However, we were not held to this standard outside of school. The school left parenting to the parents. We did not have a prom, but had a banquet and then the parents rented the same ballroom and had an “after-banquet” dance that was not school sponsored.
All that to say this. If a family agrees to certain standards then they can’t expect the school to make an exception. He is being allowed to graduate but not participate in the ceremony. He should be glad that they are allowing him to receive his diploma and not getting expelled. It’s not like they didn’t warn him.
I would not send my kids to such a school. In particular, these types of schools tend to impose these “rules” on the parents as well. In fact, one school we looked into for our kids required the whole family to get rid of all televisions and for adult women not to wear make-up. Given that the school was open to everyone and not just church members, this is overstepping the line. But, we didn’t attend the school. We took our money elsewhere. I do think however, that schools that impose such legalistic, isolationist rules on families tend to be small and thus I question their ability to offer a quality, college prep education.
Will on Mon, May 18, 2009
In all actuality if the handbook doesn’t specifically set out rules for listening to certain types of music and attending dances, then they have no leg to stand on. I haven’t read the handbook and don’t know the school. If all that the handbook says is what I have read here and other places about rock music, blah blah blah blah, then he should graduate with the rest of his classmates and if this school truly doesn’t want this to happen again because it’s so important to them then spell it out clearly.
Jonathan on Mon, May 18, 2009
Its coverage like this that helps brings “this type of Christianity” to light. He certainly should cry fowl, not because he didn’t know the rules but because the rules need to change. While he may not graduate he may ignite the controversy needed to help these “type of Christians” realize their need to bring the Kingdom of God to this world. Good Luck Tyler.
Jonathan on Mon, May 18, 2009
PS - Long live public school:)
Lori on Mon, May 18, 2009
Will,
After examining the school’s website I have answers to your questions.
The handbook states that students will not participate in rock music, dancing, etc. All parents and students in grades 7th-12th are required to sign a “Statement of Cooperation” EVERY YEAR with these rules and all other issues in the handbook. It states that they are not signing that they agree with the rules, but that they will abide by them.
The school also followed the clearly laid out procedures of discipline. So in all, nothing was a surprise.
Peter Hamm on Mon, May 18, 2009
The school rules are draconian and ridiculous.
That said, the student agreed to abide by the rules, ridiculous and stupid as I feel they are.
However, not allowing the student to graduate is insane, and might even end up being challenged legally.
Lori on Mon, May 18, 2009
He is being allowed to graduate and receive his diploma. He is simply not being allowed to attend the graduation festivities.
Steve B on Mon, May 18, 2009
The problem is Disco. It’s all me, myself & I. Traditional dancing with a partner, when I was a kid, is almost a forgotten art now.
At our Christian Primary School here in Australia, a Country & Western “Barn Dance” night was held, and all the parents & young children all joined in.
In addition to being a brilliant fund raiser, it was a highly successful event that the whole family could join. A very safe environment, & a fantastic way for Christian parents to mix & get to know non-Christian parents at the school.
In contrast, the “disco night” held at another Christian school we knew of was very mediocre, as it isolated the students from their parents.
It is all about being a witness for Him, not living to yourself. And legalists live all by themselves - not much point really.
Peter Hamm on Mon, May 18, 2009
Lori writes [He is being allowed to graduate and receive his diploma. He is simply not being allowed to attend the graduation festivities.]
No legal issue then. No real issue at all. You made your bed, you lie in it.
I wouldn’t want to attend the celebration held by such graceless, legalistic folks anyway… Have your own party at home, invite your friends, your girlfriend, her friends, maybe some of those folks will actually get to see how Christ-followers who “get grace” live. They might want to know more…
CS on Mon, May 18, 2009
Here’s the catch that none of you have seemed to notice quite yet:
“Findlay requires students from other schools attending the prom to get a signature from their principal, which Frost did.”
So the principal, who enforces a policy of prohibiting people from dancing and going to prom under threat of suspension, signed the paperwork that allowed the kid to go to prom. Huh?!
Had the principal not signed the form and said, “Policy says you are suspended,” there would be no problem, and I would agree with the risk the kid took and suffering the consequences. But for the principal to set him up for a fall is screwed up. If the actions of the kid were truly sinful and that was the reason for the provision in the school’s rules, then the principal was a partner to sin (Romans 1) and should subsequently also follow discipline.
—
CS
Ed on Mon, May 18, 2009
I posted thoughts of my own from my blog (in URL link). Let the kid graduate. Will it matter at his 10th reunion?
Or do AP articles like this turn more people seeking Christ AWAY from that relationship if they think that this is what being a Christian is like? That is my guess.
CindyK on Mon, May 18, 2009
Hrm. CS is right. Upon closer reading the article says:
“England acknowledged signing the form but warned Frost there would be consequences if he attended the dance. England then took the issue to a school committee made up of church members, who decided to threaten Frost with suspension.”
So he did sign it and said there would be consequences, but did not say what those consequences were. That’s not playing very fair.
sam on Mon, May 18, 2009
First off, he and his parents signed off on the rules. It becomes a matter of personal integrity if he chooses to break the rules that he said he would keep. He is suffering the consequences of HIS choice to break the rules. Just like at the SBC Southeastern Seminary. They are required to sign an agreement that they will abstain from alcohol while they are in seminary. Now some would call this legalism as well. However, once a student chooses to sign the agreement it becomes a matter of integrity whether or not he keep his commitment no matter if he agrees with the rule or not.
Todd said:
“This type of Christianity makes me sad; but I know that many involved are sincere and want to do the right thing. It just makes it hard when everything is a sin (and everything is a sin if you’re in this camp for long). Legalism is ugly. “
Licentiousness and antinomianism is ugly also among Christians. I believe the pendulum in some circles has swung too far away from legalism and Christians are abusing their freedoms in Christ and losing any sense of personal holiness and what that looks like. A healthy balance is definitely needed today between the extra biblical legalism and the anything goes freedom in Christ camps we see today.
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