Monday Morning Insights

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    Critics Will Never Be Happy With You… That’s Why They’re Called ‘Critics&#82

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    Seth continues…

    Your fans don’t want you to change, your fans want you to maintain the essence of what you bring them but add a laundry list of features. You fans want lower prices and more contributions, bigger portions and more frequent deliveries.

    So, who should you listen to?

    Your sneezers.

    You should listen to the people who tell the most people about you. Listen to the people who thrive on sharing your good works with others. If you delight these people, you grow.

    You can read more here...

    Seems like great advice to me… what do YOU think?


    Seth Godin had a great post over the weekend on critics. We've all experienced it. Whether it's a blog comment or a person at church who criticizes us. We could get 98 positive comments and 2 negative comments, and we will still dwell on the 2 negatives. Why do we do that?

    Seth says that is a shame: "The critics are never going to be happy with you, that's why they're critics. You might bore them by doing what they say... but that won't turn them into fans, it will merely encourage them to go criticize someone else." How true. When was the last time that you turned one of your 'critics' into a 'fan'? In my experience, that rarely, if ever, happens.

    But Seth takes it one more step (and it's a brilliant step!) Godin says that not only should you not listen to your critics, you should also not listen to your 'fans'!...

    Comments

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    1. david on Mon, March 30, 2009

      i wonder if the reason pastors have a hard time with this is because often their greatest fans don’t speak up.  perhaps they are afraid it isn’t “spiritual” to compliment a pastor, or they are worried about “infecting” his ability to be humble…

    2. Marc on Mon, March 30, 2009

      I think Pastor’s are very insecure people.  How many pastors are subject to an annual review?  How many pastors invite people to tell them how they might improve?  Very, Very few.  In my church we have put into place an annual review system.  My job as pastor once a year is discussed with my Elders.  Many of my pastor friends told me that I was insane.  However, this process has been wonderful.  We have learned to share with one another openly and honestly in love.  Some Pastor’s need to get down off the high horse and learn meekness.

    3. Pastor Tony Foeller on Mon, March 30, 2009

      Good morning, David (and all).


      As a lead pastor in a relatively large church, I would say, “INFECT ME!  INFECT ME!”


      That was mostly tongue-in-cheek.  My “fans” here are very supportive in myriad ways.


      But I sympathize with my colleagues in ministry who are only “infected” (appreciated) in October.

    4. Chet on Mon, March 30, 2009

      I’ve been in a church where I asked the Deacons/Elders to give me an annual review. I will never make that mistake again. Four of them cornered me in my office and proceeded to use it as a way of bringing up every nit picky nothing (perceived or real) to rip me to pieces.


      I think part of the reason that Pastors rehash the negatives is that that 2% is the only part of our congregations that we know are being honest. Of the 98% that gives us praise, how many are just being nice?


      I believe that the best way to react to either criticism or praise is to take a step back, so to speak, evaluate what is being said in the context of our total ministry, and decide if the feedback is well grounded. This may lead to some back patting, or it could lead to making some changes to what we do.

    5. Darrell on Mon, March 30, 2009

      The proof is in the pudding.  If your doing the right things for the right reason there will be fruit.  Whenever i get a criticism, i try and take it seriously.  Whenever i get a “fan” i try and take that seriously too.  However neither one should guide my leadership.  Taking either too seriously can cause quick burnout and trying to seek approval.  There is no better feeling then after a long Sunday just saying I did my best. (And only I know if that is true)

    6. jud on Mon, March 30, 2009

      In India young Pastor’s are being martyred for boldly preaching the Gospel.


      I will instead have sympathy for them and their families.


      Every year we have THOUSANDS of young men that set out to church plant in the suburbs of America. They often invite people they want to be their board members, they have elder boards who are usually golfing buddies, and they sometimes travel MONTHS out of the year to enrichment conferences. They ignore the example of Paul who earned his income in the marketplace as a tent maker.


      But because a few discerning voices ask honest questions they are hounded by critics?

    7. Pat on Mon, March 30, 2009

      I believe that one can learn even from their critics, so I think they should be listened to WITH discernment.  Sometimes they may have valid points that they unfortunately deliver in very negative ways.  Other times, they are just very negative people who thrive on correcting everyone but themselves.  I agree that fans should not be listened to, but for a different reason.  My reason is that if I’m not careful, I can find myself puffing up and slacking off a bit.  I also do not like what I call “fan clubs” and try very hard to discourage them.  I don’t want a following.  People have a tendency if they’re fans to put you on a pedestal and end up following you over Christ.

    8. J.D. on Mon, March 30, 2009

      Entertainers have fans and critics.  A minister of the Gospel who seeks the mind of God and rightly divides his Work is only accountable to one source.

    9. Leonard on Mon, March 30, 2009

      No Jud, you are right, you are not saying the same thing every time.  Come on man, your statement is so ridiculous it is forgive the harshness. stupid.


      As for Critics, I say to pastors do not listen to Critical people, but seek out discerning people.  Discerning people have the ability to both say what is good and what is not so good. 


      Seek input from a selected group of people whom you trust and who have access to areas they will give input. 


      Having planted 2 churches it is difficult to find poeple who poses the maturity of faith to critique you well.  So invite outside consultants to your church form time to time.  Hand the CD’s of your messages and get feedback on the content, delivery and faithfulness to the text.  Get people outside your church to come and visit so you can get feedback on the environment of your church.  Is it healthy, do people engage, is there an atmophere of acceptance… 


      As you grow disciples, give them access.  Our first few years had so many new and young Christians they could not have been elders.  Now through discipleship we have such a strong team, who honestly assesses me and the church our church is growing healthier and healthier.


      Jud proves the point that there is a major difference between discernment and criticism.  Discerning people do not beat you up, offer solutions, do not shot gun their opinions, speak truth from grace and see more than one thing.  They do not have soap boxes they build relationships and offer input.  Critical people shoot the healthy and the sick to make sure they get rid of disease, speak from hurt wrapped in passion, offer few solutions that are workable and live on top of a soap box. 


      Jud, I really do care about you but just last week you said you do the opposite of what you just did with your post.  Get well friend.  Bitterness is a root that defiles many.

    10. JOB on Mon, March 30, 2009

      I can vouch for Jud there is much truth to what he said, they are not stupid. 


      Leonard why do feel so free to call people names here?


      The problem with Seth’s comments is that they can easily apply to the business world or the church world.  The church world has it’s own standards.

    11. Brian L. on Mon, March 30, 2009

      Jud,


      You seem to forget that Paul was a missionary/church planter, not a pastor.  The book of Acts says that while AT TIMES he was a tent-maker, there were other times he was full-time “in the ministry” so to speak.


      As for the article, I’ve had my share of both fans and critics in my smaller church.  Most of the critics have left as I’ve refused to depart from the direction I believe God wants the church to God.  One of these critics has begun to become more of a fan.  But I think it’s more because I’ve been more intentional in talking with her more about her interests in life, and doing what I can to show that I care for her as a person.  She still disagrees with our direction, but we get along so much better that it’s almost like day and night.


      My performance reviews are generally every two years, with my District Superintendent meeting with my board (I am absent from the meeting).  To be honest, I’m nervous about these, although I think they’re necessary and good for me, because I’m aware that I have areas in need of work.

    12. Jerry on Mon, March 30, 2009

      J.D. has it right. We serve and audience of one and it is His opinion that counts. Serve Him faithfully and let the chips fall where they may.


      I have a Max Lucado book written for children called “Tell Me the Secrets” which is a collection of stories. One of the stories is about a group of wooden people called “Wemmicks”. As a Wemmick, if you did something clumsy or you didn’t live up to the standards of other Wemmicks, they would stick a big, grey dot on you. If you did something good, you got a star. (Kind of like ‘critics’ and ‘fans’.) But once you go to the Wood Carver, you found out he personally knew you because he made you and once you understood your position with the Wood Carver, none of the dots or stars would stick and even the ones you had gotten before started falling off.


      Yes, discernment is key for being able to guage criticism and compliments, but being in touch with the Master is most important.

    13. Kenny on Mon, March 30, 2009

      One of the reasons we let the minority of critics bother us so much is because of “fear of man”. Proverbs 29:25, “The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe”.


      For more info on “fear of man”, go to: http://fearofman.blogspot.com/

    14. David on Mon, March 30, 2009

      I think Seth makes some excellent points and I think that many of the comments have reinforced and provided some clarity on how to apply these points.  Please allow me to add my two cents in on the interaction over Jud’s comments.  Jud, I have to say that you are making some broad generalities and assumptions about the church planting movement without little support of evidence.  The comments are, in fact, quite critical, which is a little ironic because of the content of the post.  Many of my friends who are church planters are making significant sacrifices, both financially and relationally in order to start a new work here in the states to attempt to reach people that established churches have been ineffective in reaching.


      Concerning Seth’s thoughts, while I do think that many people are quite critical, in fact some of my family members would fit that group, my question is as a pastor, how much responsibility do we have to address the sinful nature of hurtful, negative criticism.  Discernment is good, but criticism can often times be misplaced or misused and is in fact sinful and reveals a sinful pattern of behavior in that persons life.  So the questions I have becomes:


      How can I help criticial, and often judgmental, people overcome this sinful area?  If I am truly their shepherd and have responsibility for them, my heart should break when I see a critical spirit within someone in my church.  It isn’t about defending myself as a pastor, but it is about helping someone to grow up in Christ and be discerning, not critical.


      That would be a good post:  Discernment vs. Criticism, how to tell the difference.

    15. Preacher Mike on Mon, March 30, 2009

      I ministered in a church in Kentucky that had a yearly “confidence vote.”  Sheets were passed out with each staff member’s name with a box to check, I have confidence in Mike’s Ministry (  ) yes (  ) no. That’s it.  It was a wonderful opportunity to take a shot at any/all of the staff without any questions asked and it took the burden off the leadership to take care of any problems that arose without any risk of discussion for growth, or tools to help.

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