Critics Will Never Be Happy With You… That’s Why They’re Called ‘CriticsR
- Posted by: Todd
- Posted on: Mon, March 30, 2009
- Viewed 159
- (63) comments so far
Seth continues…
Your fans don’t want you to change, your fans want you to maintain the essence of what you bring them but add a laundry list of features. You fans want lower prices and more contributions, bigger portions and more frequent deliveries.So, who should you listen to?
Your sneezers.
You should listen to the people who tell the most people about you. Listen to the people who thrive on sharing your good works with others. If you delight these people, you grow.
Seems like great advice to me… what do YOU think?
Seth Godin had a great post over the weekend on critics. We've all experienced it. Whether it's a blog comment or a person at church who criticizes us. We could get 98 positive comments and 2 negative comments, and we will still dwell on the 2 negatives. Why do we do that?
Seth says that is a shame: "The critics are never going to be happy with you, that's why they're critics. You might bore them by doing what they say... but that won't turn them into fans, it will merely encourage them to go criticize someone else." How true. When was the last time that you turned one of your 'critics' into a 'fan'? In my experience, that rarely, if ever, happens.
But Seth takes it one more step (and it's a brilliant step!) Godin says that not only should you not listen to your critics, you should also not listen to your 'fans'!...
Comments
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Kim on Mon, March 30, 2009
I try to live/work for an Audience of One. In saying that, I can still be misguided and do get criticized (I am a worship leader and music in church is always a hot button for critique!) so I try to take the critique, prayerfully look at it (is there value in it? is it personal opinion or is God trying to tell me something? is my heart right? in the whole of the criticism, is there even a nugget of Truth?) and proceed from there. If there is truth, I repent, change focus and move on. If it is just personal opinion, I do a Dr. Phill, “Thank you for caring enough to share” and move on.
When I was asked to be in this position I said I would do it as long as I believed God had called me to it with these guidelines—I would be submitted to the leadership of the church, and I could seek to worship & please God with the music, not the please the people. (obviously not trying to displease the people and wanting to minister to everyone in our diverse church, but not having the tail wag the dog as so often happens with people who are loudly critical.)
My husband and I have distinct differences in musical styles of worship. I ask him for criticism because he is very discerning, he loves me, and he loves me enough to tell me the truth.
I think the critic and the fan are both there and both have value if you take their comments prayerfully before the Lord, but having someone with discernment who is willing to tell you the truth is invaluable whether it is a friend, spouse or just someone you know with the proper heart attitude to be able to criticise purely without hidden agenda.
A year or so back, a pastor I know had dinner with a few of the elders from his church. No agenda, just a social time, but the pastor asked them how they thought things were going. They began to unload all kinds of petty personal opinions and it took a long time to rebuild trust after that because hey, he asked and it was a chance to unload! I don’t think they meant to hurt him and later they said they should have tempered it with all the positives, but they didn’t and it hurt their relationship. If I don’t want to know what people really think, I don’t ask! Or I am careful who I ask! And I am careful with my heart that I am not asking fishing for positive strokes! Again, my heart is toward the audience of one and if I have pleased Him, I am okay despite the criticism. And if I haven’t please Him, I don’t care how many fans I have. And as for the sneezers so I will be more “successful”? My success is in blessing Him, not how many people say I’m a great leader. JMHO
Kim
Peter Hamm on Mon, March 30, 2009
Jud,
Thanks for being a bit of an example of what we’re talking about.
Jud, you seem to indicate that we have thousands of church planters who are just golfing, hanging out with their buddies and spending, you say, MONTHS at enrichment conferences? I have yet to meet ONE of these people, and you blithely claim there are thousands. That is, imho, just a mindless criticism, not an actual constructive comment.
Your comments are not discerning. In fact, in this case, I’m not sure they’re even close to reality.
Brian L. on Mon, March 30, 2009
Oops - I just realized that Jud was addressing church planters, not established pastors…
Sorry for that.
fred on Mon, March 30, 2009
A little leaven spoils the whole batch. We can say this about criticism, but we can also say that about that which the criticism is directed at. It may be 2%, but maybe that is the dangerous 2% of leaven.
Leonard on Mon, March 30, 2009
JOB and Jud, how many church planters do you know personally? JOB you can vouch for him? How many do you know. I happen to know hundreds upon hundreds because of being a church planter myself. Your descriptions fit NO PERSON I know.
JOB, no names were called, but statements were labeled. I think I will stand by that.
jud on Mon, March 30, 2009
Brian L.
No problem.
I’d like to point out to my critics that I didn’t direct my original post at EVERY church planter.
Actually, the point I wanted to make is that we hear a lot about the pains of pastors here but too often forget what is going on with the suffering church.
The New Testament is chocked full of warnings against false teachers and false gospels. The Bereans are held up as an example of how we are to be, knowing and discerning THE Truth. The only one time I have confronted a pastor it was not over false teaching or a false gospel… It was concerning the fact that much of our core doctrine was left dusty on the shelf and that the Gifts of the Spirit were not valued equally in the specific church body.
Leonard you can paint me one dimensional if you wish. I’m assuming you did not read my last post concerning the Pastor/archer from last week?
Peter Hamm on Mon, March 30, 2009
Also, Jud (and, by extension of your “vouching”, JOB),
On the issue of these thousands of church planters you reference. Can you put some flesh on that statement? Can you name a thousand? Even perhaps 50, or 10, or even 5?
Because if not, perhaps there are some names that should be called… And I for one am not afraid to call them if need be…
JOB on Mon, March 30, 2009
Fred,
Good point. That’s almost quotable,
JOB on Mon, March 30, 2009
Leonard,
You think I don’t know what I’m talking about?
Email me.
Peter Hamm on Mon, March 30, 2009
Sorry, Jud, I was typing at the same time as you…
You seem to be using this passing reference in acts to “Bereans” to claim a right to discernment that, as I’ve seen elsewhere, ends in an excuse to condemn wrongly, just as you did with those “thousands” of what you seemed to characterize as selfish church planters in this country who seem more interested in attending fun conferences and go golfing. (I actually know many small-church pastors and church planters, and not one of them golfs… And not one of them spends more than 1 or 2 weeks at conferences a year.)
You hold up Paul as an example of, presumably, not being a “professional” pastor, and yet throughout 1 Corinthians 9 he is very careful not to condemn those who earn a living from the Gospel as he is defending his actions in NOT earning a living from the Gospel. On the contrary, he vigorously defends the practice of professional ministry, even though he himself, at that time, was not “professional” (at other times it appears he was).
I agree that the persecuted church in the world is filled with sterling examples of selfless leaders and pastors, that we ought to pray for them and indeed to admire and perhaps imitate them. But your wholesale critical dismissal of USAmerican church planters was needlessly coarse, inaccurate, and simply critical for the sake of being critical. It was not discerning…
I’d love to see a retraction or clarification from you on this.
JOB writes “Leonard,
You think I don’t know what I’m talking about?
Email me.”
Spare us, brother. If you have something behind your statement, please share it with all of us.
Russell Brownworth on Mon, March 30, 2009
About the comment by Marc:
“I think Pastor’s are very insecure people. How many pastors are subject to an annual review? How many pastors invite people to tell them how they might improve? Very, Very few. In my church ....Some Pastor’s need to get down off the high horse and learn meekness.”
In our denomination, as a pastor I am subject to an annual review by a local board of ordained ministry. I also meet with our Staff-Parrish Committee six times a year for “course-corrections” in ministry. It just doesn’t seem like a “high horse” from here.
Incidentally - “meekness” very rarely begins with “In MY church…”
I have learned over the past 27+ years of serving as a pastor that there are about 10% of the people who can’t stand you and 10% who assume it was you the Lord God consulted about hanging the moon and stars. The other 80% are mostly waiting to see if you have any leadership to offer.
Oliver on Mon, March 30, 2009
Not listen to your critics? horrible advice! I mean can anyone honestly tell me Jesus wasn’t a critic? Lets apply this Seth’s guys logic to the Pharisees…Seeing that Jesus was always tearing into them, they should disregard what he said to them. Not only that but all the prophets as well. Why did President Bush end up making a horrible disaster out of Iraq and his presidency and basically destroyed the GOP? Everyone now knows it was because he only listened to people that told him what he wanted to hear. Listen, if you don’t listen to your critics, and only listen to people who tell you what you want to hear, well…you deserve what you’ve got coming. On the other hand it doesn’t mean every critic is right either. Only a fool ignores a critic.
Oliver on Mon, March 30, 2009
Criticism vs discernment? ok people, lets there are these things called dictionaries, use them…discernment is being able to grasp difficult or obscure things, criticism is the act of finding fault with something. For example, a president decides he wants to preemptively invade a sovereign country. Someone stands up and says, excuse me you can’t do that its against international law. Someone else say’s “but they have WMD’s” so we have to because they are going to get us first. The critic again reply’s, that’s funny, the CIA reports all say that isn’t true. The critic in this senario is offering evidence to the contrary of the opinion to invade a sovereign country. The debate is important after all because truth is important. If you want to apply this to christianity you certainly can. Just like in government our churches are going through a period right now that is basically seeing the destruction of orthodox christianity. What is funny is that all the evangelical christians think they are on the right side of history. But they are short sighted, myopic, ignorant people. Some critics are attempting to stand up and say, People, you don’t realize the church is being destroyed! Will the church survive? A remnant probably will, but many people and their faith will be led astray in the meantime because leaders aren’t willing to listen to the critic or as I like to call them the prophets.
CS on Mon, March 30, 2009
Going back to Godin’s article and the main point of this thread…
“You should listen to the people who tell the most people about you. Listen to the people who thrive on sharing your good works with others. If you delight these people, you grow.”
I disagree with this statement and the logic behind it, because it determines validation and approval by how many people say they like what you’re doing. While I can understand the assumption is based that the good works will be the qualifier, the problem is that the good works may not be, “good,” or the crowd may be biased towards you no matter what.
For example, you may be a pastor who has been preaching and doing good works for people for a while. You build up a big group of people who follow what you’re doing. You then go and start teaching errant doctrine, while keeping up the good works. Many of these people don’t know the difference, so they keep on liking you and boasting of you to others. But a few become, “critics,” and start opposing your actions.
Who would be, “right,” in this situation? It would be those labeled as, “critics.” But, by Godin’s standard, those would be dismissed. Kind of like, “A million French can’t be wrong,” when it came to the Maginot Line.
Sometimes the critics are right, sometimes they are wrong. All things should be viewed through the lens of the Bible by doctrine and theology.
—
CS
Leonard on Mon, March 30, 2009
There is a difference in not listing to a critic and not taking input. A fool does not take input and instruction. The more critical you are as a person the more you dislike this article. That is kind of interesting.
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