Dealing with Unpleasant Staff Departures
- Posted by: Todd
- Posted on: Tue, December 06, 2005
- Viewed 136
- (44) comments so far
I've witnessed or been made privy to a number of staff departures from various churches that clearly fall under the ?unpleasant? category:
- A minister, having lost the support of more than half his congregation and his entire board, refuses to leave. He says God called him to the church, and until He tells him to move on, he?s staying.
- A minister who behaved immorally with one or more members of his congregation is privately given the option to resign or be exposed by one of his board members, who has secured concrete evidence of the indiscretions.
- A minister of music leaves a church?s employ because he?s prevented from taking the church?s choir and worship teams to the level he feels the majority of the congregation wants.
- An associate pastor ? who has a sizeable constituency in the church ? is fired because of repeated insubordination.
- An executive pastor ? who reports directly to the church board ? fails to renew his own contract after board members remain silent as the senior pastor withdraws his support.
- A minister is incarcerated on charges of using the Internet to lure a minor for sex.
- A pastor loses his position as a result of mental or physical breakdowns caused by ministry pressures, overload or burnout, lack of balance in life, and more.
Each of the above cases impacted a number of the following stakeholder groups, whose interests, questions, frustrations, disappointments and/or demands had to be addressed:
- The general congregation (or, in the case of parachurch organizations, those served by the ministry);
- The board of directors, who usually took or approved the action;
- The staff member who is departing, and his or her family;
- The rest of the staff; and
- The general public (usually in the Christian community) outside the church.
Knowing which stakeholders are involved in each case helps determine both the preventive and corrective actions needed to best manage the situation.
Preventive Action
In reviewing the above examples, we arrive at several conditions which, had they been in place, might have prevented one or more of these situations. [Note: I say ?might? because even if everything that could have been done right was, there could be circumstances in which an individual?s behavior is beyond prediction due to a previously undemonstrated personality trait, or even legitimate mental illness. In these cases, congregations must rely on damage control and corrective actions.]
Examples of preventive action include:
A better selection process.
A clear understanding (including documentation) of the conditions under which the relationship would end. This might include votes by the board and/or congregation, or non-compliance with various church policies.
A clear understanding of the church?s lines of authority.
Established and adhered-to requirements reduce the exposure of a staff person to the possibility of immoral behavior. This includes insisting that windows be installed on all pastoral staff?s office doors, and implementing rules about opposite-sex co-workers, including travel, home visitation and working late at night.
Regular planning meetings to ensure all staff are on the same page.
Acknowledging the possibility that separate followings might develop within the congregation. Personal accountability partners.
Mentors.
Regular (at least quarterly) personal discussions with each staff member.
Damage Control
Once an unpleasant departure looms on the horizon ? or has actually taken place ? several actions must be taken to correct the situation or minimize negative impact:
Ensure the situation brewing is handled by the appropriate personnel.
Consult with human resources or labor lawyers.
Consider the reactions of ? and communication to ? each stakeholder. Act accordingly.
Recognize that many might be disappointed. Identify the individual?s strengths or positives and the value he or she added to the church.Then, appeal to the listeners? trust in the board they appointed.
Point to the future and to the work that must continue. When possible, follow determined arrangements for doing so through the temporary appointment of others to fill the gap. Identify the actions you?ll take to find a more permanent replacement.
Allow an opportunity for individual members to contact leaders with their questions. Then, individually answer these questions with love and total honesty, heeding any legal implications. Don?t hide the real reasons for the departure, but don?t get personal in your expression of them. (For example, if insubordination was the case, say so ? but don?t go into detail or debate the circumstances. It?s too personal, and it?s unnecessary.)
Ask your congregation to pray for the individual, his or her family, and the church. Lead them in those prayers yourself.
Wherever possible, make a real effort to heal the relationship between the church and the individual involved.
[Ken has a whole library of personnel related articles available in the archives section of ChurchBusiness.com. It's worth checking out!]
FOR DISCUSSION: Have has your church handles the fallout from a bad departure? Have you ever had a bad departure? What happened, and how did you (and your former church) deal with it?
I realize I’m writing to mainly church staff members… most of which have served at several churches. Just about every staff member I know has had at least one bad ministry experience in their career… but how should churches handle unpleasant departures? Ken Godevenos helps us with that issue with an article he wrote for a recent edition of Church Business. Ken writes…
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Jeorge on Tue, December 06, 2005
I once had the benefit of a premature departure from a church position. It was an ugly and unpleasant experience. During the process the church board was asked if they had a plan to be put into effect when I left the congregation. The entire board stated publicly that there was a plan and no one needed to worry about it.
When I announced my departure by a private letter to the congregation the response was interesting. The letter was short three lines. 1) I was announcing my resignation. 2) The date of my departure was ___. 3) Please not discuss this with my family. Sincerely Yours signed and dated.
The response from the board was to deny any knowledge why I was leaving and one member threatened to go the denominations judiciary body and have my ordination removed. (But he too has no ability to say why I left.)
I dealt with the situation by the immediate removal of my membership from the church. I severed all relationships with any member and have only contact with those who contacted me after my departure. I have only been in the building twice since my leaving and only with an invitation and permission by the moderator (my requirement not his)
I joined a second church of a different denomination in order to attend and to serve while waiting for a new point of service. I accepted a call to a small and struggling church where I am presently.
The church’s general board who are still in control still haven’t defined a plan of action. They are still waiting for wisdom and financial security to fall from heaven. The membership is declining and there is not a concern to address the issue.
If you ask me to make a blunt evaluation the Board is happy nothing is being done. They have enough members. With no staff their needs are reduced. And the church along with its leaders are happy with the status quo. They get the be the victims with out the responsibility to find an solution. It is consistent with their view of God and his creation.
I am not as bitter as I once was, there is a healing from God. And I know that the place where I am now will need a lot of planning for the future.
Michael on Tue, December 06, 2005
Great article. It’s clearly time that churches start employing people with contracts. Making it clear how someone enters and how they will exit. When you know ahead of time how you will exit, it is much smoother for everyone.
Secondly, I agree that a more thorough background check and interview process is necessary in most churches. Part of that more intense process should be a two-way street; meaning that references for the senior pastor and other staff be given to the potential staff person. They are being asked to change the course of their life; they should be able to check on the new people they are going to be with.
Why is this different from secular employment? Because of the spiritual “direction” and “language” that is so often used in the process. Churches too often play the appropriate card to their own advantage: they claim “it’s business” or “it’s the Lord leading us”.....whichever is more appropriate at the time.
Secular employers are much more straight up and they certainly don’t play the “God-card” to remove you.
Lew on Tue, December 06, 2005
Churches need to install Elders as leaders.
This does not mean paid staff only, since many associate staff are in their 20’s-they would not qualify as Elders. How could a subordinate younger staff member hold the Senior Pastor/CEO accountable for sinful behavior, it would never happen, the associate in an employee, and if a structure was in place such as a personel cmte to deal with such issues, they would always report back to the “Pope” who appointed them to the committee. The layman serving on the committee are afraid of losing the benefits of serving in the church, etc..and don’t want to get involved in being a peacemaker which the Bible wants us to be.
This would solve the problem of the egotistical, unaccountable, Senior Pastor (lone elder), who thinks he can manipulate anyone person or situation for his own selfish interests such as moving staff around so as to hire his son’s best friend, his son in law, and then firing someone who doesn’t “fit the mold” because he has ideas that have proved successful and benefited the ministry but challenges the status quo of the current older staff who want to cruise to retirement.
The single Elder idea doesn’t teach the congregation of their need to lead but “gives up” leadership and direction to the “Pope”. This is laziness on the part of lay people. Lay people who don’t care for the pastoral staff at all unless they are being catered to in some form or fashion by them. They end up having a pastor who acts the same way. If you take him out to eat regularly you are on the deacon board.
I was ready to quit the ministry until I found the “perfect staff” and leadership to work with at the new church I am serving as an associate. It is a safe place with Elders in place who loving confront the pastor and staff when needed.
I used the term “perfect staff” because this is what my previous pastor told me he had once I had left after having been fired.
Yes, I still struggle with bitterness. But I am sure this will going away as I grow through loving confrontation and simple obedience.
Allen Ballard on Tue, December 06, 2005
Yes we are all affected by the past, however, we can also learn from the past as well and endevor not to make the same mistakes over again.
Phil Hoover-Chicago on Tue, December 06, 2005
As a member of a local church, I recently had to make a very unpleasant departure…and it has hurt me tremendously.
The departure was my decision, and mine alone.
I found out who my real friends in this congregation are.
And sadly enough, who they aren’t.
John on Tue, December 06, 2005
When I came to this church, there was already in place a Children’s Pastor who had served the church for 10 years. She had no formal education and had often fought with the previous senior minister as well as all of the interims since he left. I found out after coming here, that she wanted to become the new senior minister, but the search committee refused to even consider that. After literally taking over a children’s dedication one Sunday in the midst of the ceremony, I informed her that such action would not be acceptable again. So, three months after getting here, she stomped out in a huff just 2 weeks before our preschool was to reopen and our children’s program was to restart after the summer.
She really thought that most of the church would leave with her, but only a few family left immediately. A total of about 30 people did leave over the course of the next year. It was ugly, to say the least. Twice one of her followers got up in church and pronounced that I was leading the church to doom and everyone who followed me was going too. Then 10 months later, I received a death threat on the front door of the church before Sunday morning services.
Over the time since she left (2 1/2 years now), we continue to hear comments from the larger Christian community that her followers have made. I have personally been called more nasty names than in all the previous years. Much damage has been done to the church by this woman and her followers. Yet, we are recovering now. We have rebuilt our children’s ministries and they are thriving. Our youth ministry is still in the process of recovering. We’ve spent a lot of time and energy correcting the mistakes of the past - time and energy that could have been spent building the kingdom, but we are stronger for having gone through all this.
I have to credit our Elder board who has shown great leadership to make sure that I was not “left out there hanging”. Yet, I would never hope anyone experiences what we’ve gone through.
In retrospect, I wish I has confronted this person immediately in coming here. She was set on a power confrontation and made sure there was one. However, she did not win, even when I thought she would. My advice for others would be to simply stand firm, with love and grace. If your leadership stands with you, you’ll get through it. If they don’t, you’ll probably end up moving much sooner than you thought. But in all things, I have remined myself the two principles I outlined as soon as I came: 1) Whatever we do from now on, we’re going to do it the right way, regardless of the cost and 2) Whatever we do, we’re going to keep everything on top of the table so there are no surprises to come back and haunt us later. It was no fun (and still isn’t), but for the church to move forward, I now see that there was no alternative. Reconciliation was not an option.
Robert on Tue, December 06, 2005
I agree whole heartily with Michael. The book by John Piper, “Brothers we are not Proffessionals” is an excellent book on church leadership. Mark Dever’s “ The Deliberate Church” Also a Good one. If a church is folllowing a Biblical model, rather than a traditional model, or a worldly model, There will be less room for failure. Simply stated God will bless the work if it is according to his pattern. Even so there is still room for problems, because that is the nature of the church. Remember Acts 20, Paul instucts the elders at Ephesus, that ravenous wolves will rise up from amongst them? Wasn’t Timothy an apostolic leader in Ephesus when Paul was writing to him about the problems with apostacy, and apostate l;eadership? Which is why certain character qualifications are given in 1 Tim 3. The model of putting people in school and hiring them with the “CEO” menataility is a recipe for disaster. We must follow GOd’s word, in observing someone’s personal conduct, according to 1 Tim3, for a good season to see if thier lives are producing fruit evident of God’s calling. Only then can we make a decision in good conscience. I personally detest the idea of having a psychiatrist on the pulpit committee. That is just using worldly wisdom, as opposed to Godly wisdom. Hope the books I reccomended were helpful to some.
Abbey on Tue, December 06, 2005
Re: John’s story. I just DO NOT get it. A death threat? Is this terrorism on the local level? What on earth is wrong with these folks? Do secular businesses get death threats when they change operations or personnel?
I have to really recommend the book “A Elephand in the Board Room” by Resse and…someone else. It’s available thru Church staffing I think. Several blog articles have quoted it and the main point is that change eventually happens and we need to be prepared to handle it. Get proactive rather than deal with the unpleasant aftermath.
I think I will take more seriously a psychologist to evaluate our pastoral candidates when we get to that point. Hate to do that, but I take this too seriously to let any possible pro-action go undone.
Lew was right about laziness of lay people. Our church previously let a pastor get away with throwing out the constitution and by-laws.
TB on Tue, December 06, 2005
My husband of 31 years, a church musician, was having an affair with his children’s choir director. I left him when I found them together in my home, and I did not feel it was my obligation or duty to inform the church of what was going on. The rumors were rampant, and even when confronted with absolute knowledge of the affair, NOTHING WAS DONE.
I believe that mayber our marriage could have been redeemed if even ONE staff person had stood on their moral authority and confronted my ex-husband about his immorality, Instead, he was allowed to resign quietly, the congregation was told that he was resigning “to pursue other offers”, and NOT ONCE by any of the pastors was he ever taken aside and counseled as to the spiritual and moral sin that he was committing by seducing young women under his spirityual authority for his own purposes.
The result is that he was given glowing recommendations by people who KNEW what he was doing, and he has gone on to pursue other positions with churches.
The result of this, is that that church continues to bear the burden of what went on. It is gossipped about, talked about under the table, but nothing was ever publickly acknowledged and dealt with. Is it any wonder that the Christian church is in such muddy waters when it comes to moral and ethical issues involving their staff people? If people who claim to be God’s men and women are allowed to just go on as if nothing happened, no one is required to face the consequences of their actions in any meaningful way, and they simply go on to other churches without ever confronting their own sin, God WILL hold churches and staff and boards responsible for this kind of “sweeping under the rug”.
TB on Tue, December 06, 2005
My husband of 31 years, a church musician, was having an affair with his children’s choir director. I left him when I found them together in my home, and I did not feel it was my obligation or duty to inform the church of what was going on. The rumors were rampant, and even when confronted with absolute knowledge of the affair, NOTHING WAS DONE.
I believe that mayber our marriage could have been redeemed if even ONE staff person had stood on their moral authority and confronted my ex-husband about his immorality, Instead, he was allowed to resign quietly, the congregation was told that he was resigning “to pursue other offers”, and NOT ONCE by any of the pastors was he ever taken aside and counseled as to the spiritual and moral sin that he was committing by seducing young women under his spirityual authority for his own purposes.
The result is that he was given glowing recommendations by people who KNEW what he was doing, and he has gone on to pursue other positions with churches.
The result of this, is that that church continues to bear the burden of what went on. It is gossipped about, talked about under the table, but nothing was ever publickly acknowledged and dealt with. Is it any wonder that the Christian church is in such muddy waters when it comes to moral and ethical issues involving their staff people? If people who claim to be God’s men and women are allowed to just go on as if nothing happened, no one is required to face the consequences of their actions in any meaningful way, and they simply go on to other churches without ever confronting their own sin, God WILL hold churches and staff and boards responsible for this kind of “sweeping under the rug”.
Bernie Dehler on Tue, December 06, 2005
John- curious as to your analysis of how well you followed Matt. 18 in the conflict with this woman… please share if you can. I personally believe Matt. 18 can solve many of these problems… also add lots of love (five love languages)…
Sounds to me like she was dis-enfranchised with the new leadership, rather than engaged. Her immense investment was devalued.
Jack on Tue, December 06, 2005
You can have all the guidelines & protective measures in place that you want, but if church leaders want to get rid of you, they will.
I was in a church in Michigan 12 years ago where I was experiencing the most exciting youth ministry of my then 18-year youth ministry career, when a parent who didn’t agree with a decision I made began to spread a rumor around the church that I had been in the bedroom of their 15-year old daughter. It was true. But what she failed to add was that I was in the bedroom WITH MY WIFE while being given a tour of their house by the MOTHER, herself!
Well, despite the fact that the pastor & several church leaders got to the truth, I was still forced to resign to protect the “integrity of the church”. But the real kicker was that even though our denomination’s CHURCH MANUAL stated then that a staff member could not be dismissed without being given the opportunity to present his or her case in front of the local Church Board, I was denied that privilege. And, naturally, the congregation was never told the truth.
The bottom line is that churches that are more concerned with their image than in confronting the truth will always find a way to get rid of a staff member. It’s easier to replace a staff member then to upset congregational members who may be offended (And implicated)if the real truth is laid out for all to see.
So set your guidelines & prepare for the possibility of having to deal with these kinds of situations. It’s still a wise thing to do. But if honoring God by standing for the truth isn’t the church’s #1 goal, then the staff member will invariably become the scape-goat. Even with a contract, churches know that most staff members won’t resort to taking legal action if the contract is ignored. Win or lose, taking a church to court will probably cost a staff member any chance at a future in staff ministry, and church leaders use that knowledge to their advantage.
Another devious tactic churches will use to bury the truth in these circumstances is to BUY the staff members silence. In the previously mentioned situation and in a church I was again forced to leave in Alabama just 4 years ago because several members resented the fact that the church had hired a “northern yankee”, I was offered a large severance package…but ONLY if I resigned quietly and didn’t force them to fire me. Yes, for the sake of my family I accepted the offer each time, but where’s Christ in a tactic like that?
What I’m getting at is this: If a church is unethical and even dishonest in removing a staff member, it has no right to expect anything other then an unpleasant departure.
B. Marsh on Tue, December 06, 2005
Wow!
What a topic, what great advice?
My experience has been that those who don’t know and/or understand accountability and how it’s suppose to work, hate it!
A wise board will develop clear guidelines and expectations of every position of ministry that they oversee that includes accountability…
I’ve been a part of a church in the past where the people were very loving, supportive, giving, but not very discerning and their lack of understanding the importance of accountability opened a whole can of worms that leads to people getting hurt. This article is very helpful for those who are in a position of making the next hire and working to define the roles that are functioning within the church… The notion of team is most important…. people with no sense of accountability are “out there” by themselves. Some times it’s the church’s fault for allowing this to happen… Unfortunately, some view the notion of being accountable “one to another” as legalism. It can be if love is not applied throughout the process but my experience has told me that people who hate and fight accountability, will cry “foul” no matter how much love is applied! At times it takes tough love speaking the truth in love, to see the rest of the body protected.
Dan Moore on Tue, December 06, 2005
Wow! There are some terrible things happening in churches. It is all due to a lack of biblical accountability and discipline. I like the elders idea. I was part of a team that planted a church and until a pastor was called, we used a team of elders. This caused some flak by the women’s missions team as being “not Baptist” but it worked. They left and we grew. The pastor who was called enjoyed the relationship with the elder board and though it was not “Baptist” it was biblical in his opinion.
My only experience with staff was a secretary. She also served as pianist, choir director, treasurer, and secretary. She worked for the church but not the pastor. I discovered she was instrumental in the departure of four pastors. Matthew 18 saved my “bacon” in dealing with her. She was eventually caught up in a financial issue and a coverup. She was removed from a couple of positions and placed under probation. She blew up at me and ranted about 15 minutes before worship - were 20 observers were. That cause a couple more to jump in and follow me into the study for more screaming. I called her Monday to have her schedule a meeting with the deacons (the second step of Matt. 18). She refused and left. She called a group to her home to have a meeting about “getting rid of the pastor.” It back fired. Her friends told her to do right, repent, and apologize. She never came back. Her two friends who followed me into the study also left.
I like the ideas of contracts. Churches have covenants and by-laws. A contract really spells out the relationships and expectations of all parties. It also, when done right, has the specifics for termination. This protects both parties. I work part time as a Chaplain for a VA home. I have a contract with them as a staff member. I like it because it is simple - two pages - and specific. I do the things of the contract - they pay me. I fail to do the things of the contract - they fire me. Simple. I know who my supervisor is. I know how to give notice. I know where to go for help. Hmmmm. I wish I had something similar with the church. For our new secretary - we have a job description that is simple, specific, and to the point. It lays out her duties, how we evaluate, and what are the causes of termination.
Just my thoughts.
Dan
Cindy on Tue, December 06, 2005
My husband and I have had more than one unpleasant departures, and we have attempted each time to protect the church for the Lord’s sake and for the sake of new believers. One situation was especially painful for our family, because we had actually planted this ministry. The Lord had given us the vision; we bought property; we built a coffeehouse youth center; and the Lord used my husband to start a new, thriving church and outreach ministry with a fellow Christian gifted in evangelism. The coffeehouse plan made possible 2 full-time pastoral salaries, which hadn’t been available just by the church tithes. It was definitely one of those God things.
The problem came in when we hired a local youth pastor and his wife who had a secret agenda of controlling the ministry themselves. They began causing dissention among our leadership team, working to separate the 3 church planting pastors/elders who had previously been united in vision and, eventually, we knew it was stay and fight, or walk away from the vision we’d poured ourselves into building for 2 years. It was a heart-wrenching situation; yet, we knew we had failed in hiring this youth pastor. At this point, the youth pastor had so entranced the pastor (evangelist friend), that even if the leadership team voted to remove the youth pastor, the dissention would remain, and the pastor was no longer behind the original vision.
The Lord told my husband to lay it down, and He would give us back the vision. We resigned and walked away without a fight, broken in spirit and disheartened. The worst part was that because we left quietly, and the church knew that we were the ones who planned and planted the ministry, there were many questions. We had asked the remaining pastors (evangelist & youth pastor) to please just share that we had a difference in vision, and we chose to move on because of that. (The 4th leadership team member had already resigned when we didn’t dismiss the youth pastor.) Instead of allowing us to leave graciously, they told many lies about us and the other family who had left. They said we were angry, we had lied, we had misspent the church’s money, and really painted an ugly picture of us.
With time, there has been healing for us personally, and the truth has become clear to those who were involved in that church with us, but it has taken about 5 years. The Lord has blessed us in ministry since that time, and is now bringing together a new plant team with an expanded version of our original vision in the city where we’ve always wanted to live. (Isn’t God good?!)We are so excited about the unity of our team and the Christ-like love we have for one another!
At the same time, we know that the bad experience was for our training. We now recognize easily that controlling spirit in potential team members. We don’t ignore any “red flags” the Lord shows us. And we are stronger leaders. We certainly have not “arrived,” but we’re much more prepared for this ministry than we were the first time.
In all of this, I would encourage pastors and church leaders to use wisdom and discernment in placing people in your ministry (paid or volunteer). Seek the Lord in every little decision you make. And, most importantly, stay on track in the vision the Lord has given you and don’t compromise to please people or just to keep peace. Please God with your decisions, rather than men. And also, be gracious to those who do move on, as well.
Wow! This is a long post! Just wanted to share a little of what the Lord has shown us. God bless!
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