MondayMorningInsight - Leadership & Encouragement for Church Leaders

Ever Feel Like a Runaway Bride?

Posted by: Todd
Posted on: Sun, May 01, 2005
Viewed 181
(8) comments so far

"We're a piled-on, stretched-to-the limit society. Pastors especially are chronically rushed, chronically late, chronically exhausted. Many of us feel like Job did when he said, ?I have no peace. I have no quiet. I have no rest and trouble keeps coming.? We have too much activity in our lives, too much change, too many choices, too much work, too much debt, too much media exposure. Most of us are far more overloaded than we can handle, and there is no margin for error in our lives. "

Rick suggests that there are four immediate benefits you will enjoy when you begin to build margin into your life:

Peace of mind
When you?re not hurrying and worrying all the time, you have time to think. Time to relax. Time to enjoy life. We had a bird come into the building one evening before service. He started singing, and it was just like we?d been given an invitation: ?Just relax. Everybody except those sitting directly under the bird, relax.?

Better health
Unrelenting stress harms our bodies. We all know that, yet we let it continue day after day after day. Many times the only time we get margin in our lives is when the heart attack almost happens or does happen or the blood pressure skyrockets. Why do we wait until our health plummets before we make this decision? Why not realize that we need to build some margin into our lives now? The truth is, your body needs downtime in order to heal. Race cars make pit stops occasionally in order to get repaired. You can?t fix anything going 200 miles an hour. Yet we try to be repaired while we?re still racing through life. Margin builds in time for better health.

Stronger relationships
Lack of margin is one big reason for the collapse of the American family today. When we don?t make relationships a priority and make time for each other, our relationships suffer. The truth is relationships take time, and margin provides the time to sit and talk, to listen and enjoy one another, and to provide the comfort we each need.

Usefulness in ministry
When you?re overloaded by activity, you can only think of yourself. You?re in survival mode, just trying to make it through another day. But being available to God for his use makes all the difference in this world. When you have no margin in your life, when God taps you on the shoulder and says, ?I?d like you to do this for me,? your first response isn?t joy. Your first response is, ?Oh, no! Another thing to do! Sorry, God -- I?d like to do that, but I'm just too busy.? We end up resenting the great opportunities God brings into our lives. But when you have margin, you?re available for God to use.

You can read Rick's full article here.

Without margin, you could end up somewhat like the runaway bride... running from everyone on a bus to nowhere.

How do you build margin into your life and ministry? Let's discuss this today at the MMI Blog. How close have you ever come to 'hoppin on that bus'?

Did you follow the story this past week about Jennifer Willbanks, the runaway bride? I think it’s an incredible story. It seems Jennifer was to be married over the weekend and evidently the stress got to be too much for her. She secretly hopped on a bus from Atlanta and ended up in Albuquerque four days later. She told no one she was leaving… she evidently had too much going on and just couldn’t handle it. As I’m sure you already well-know, pastors deal with stress as well. But how do you, as a pastor, spiritual leader, and community example deal with stress? In a recent MinistryToolbox newsletter, Pastor Rick Warren talks directly to pastors…

Comments

if you want a Globally Recognized Avatar (the images next to your profile) get them here. Once you sign up, they will displayed on any website that supports them.

brian on Sun, May 01, 2005

I was not really a pastor, I was involved in a ministry to kids with disabilities. Between my work and the Ministry I was involved in was about 100 hours a week. As for hopping the train, I was shown the door when I messed up with a communication issue. I have to admit I have read this blog for just a few days but you really touch on some hurtfull issues. I think it leads to some healing. I hope God blesses all of you and your families.
Makrothumeo on Mon, May 02, 2005

LOL…If I had Rick Warren’s staff (like “teaching pastors” to ghostwrite articles) I’m sure my stress management would be better too…
larry on Mon, May 02, 2005

In response to the previous comment about staff reducing stress, each time you add staff you also add stress to yourself as a senior pastor. As the church grows and the staff grows stress grows.
Martha on Mon, May 02, 2005

I pastored a small urban congregation. I thought I had to do everything. I was stressed and exhausted all the time. I am also an artist but I never had time to work on my paintings or mosaics. I finally ran.

For six months I sleep and took walks thinking about what to do. For the next year I just worked on my art and had several shows and was very happy but eventually I felt a need to minister again.

I took a position as interim pastor and found that I was good at helping churches to handle conflict. This time though I set aside one afternoon a week just to work on my art. Except for emergencies I have stuck to it and it really makes a difference. To have time set aside to do what you love outside of the ministry can be a life saver.

Martha
Makrothumeo on Mon, May 02, 2005

Having had large staff and no staff, Larry, I’ll take large staff every time…I would write more, but my “blog pastor” isn’t here today.

Makro
Larry on Mon, May 02, 2005

Makro,

I also have had no staff and now a staff of 17 and they both had their pressures but the pressures increase with each staff member added. I just do not understand the sarcastic remarks about Rick Warren and his having staff. You have no idea of the pressure he faces daily ss the pastor of a very large church. I would venture to guess that it is a great deal more pressure than you or I will ever face so why not just admire the fact that he is willing to do it? Appreciate where you are at and appreciate those who are in different positions. Why be negative?

Larry
bernie dehler on Mon, May 02, 2005

For me, one of the things that helps me the most when I’m stretched is to get lots of sleep. When I have a lot to do, I start skimping on my sleep, and it takes its toll. After a good rest, I’m surprised at the energy I can regain (and get a better attitude also).

I’m also constantly trying to learn how to say “no.” It’s too easy for me to say “yes” for new projects, then get over-burdened…

Another big weakness of mine that I need to address is getting regular exercise… that also helps reduce stress a lot.

Another great stress reducer: cranking up the volume of spiritual music in the car, and worshipping as you drive… yes, I’m one of those wierdo’s singing while they drive!

...Bernie

http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/247
Bill Little on Tue, May 03, 2005

Here are some helpful ideas to reduce stress that I have collected over the years.

1. Pray

2. Go to bed on time.

3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.

4. Say No to projects that won’t fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.

5. Delegate tasks to capable others.

6. Simplify and unclutter your life.

7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)

8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.

9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don’t lump the hard things all together.

10. Take one day at a time.

11. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety. If you can’t do anything about a situation, forget it.

12. Live within your budget; don’t use credit cards for ordinary purchases.

13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.

14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.

15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.

16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line.

17. Get enough rest.

18. Eat right.

19. Get organized so everything has its place.

20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.

21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.

22. Every day, find time to be alone.

23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don’t wait until it’s time to go to bed to try and pray.

24. Make friends with Godly people.

25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.

26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good “Thank you Jesus.”

27. Laugh.

28. Laugh some more!

29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.

30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).

31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).

32. Sit on your ego.

33. Talk less; listen more.

34. Slow down.

35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.

36 . Every night before bed, think of one thing you’re grateful for that you’ve never been grateful for before. GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU. “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31)

I hope this helps.