From Preacher to Atheist: I Just Lost Faith in Faith
- Posted by: Todd
- Posted on: Wed, October 05, 2005
- Viewed 83
- (27) comments so far
"My Dad was a professional musician during the 1940's. At one of his concerts he met a female vocalist and, as things go, they went (lucky for me). They got married and, when I was a toddler, they both found true religion. Dad threw away his collection of original Glenn Miller recordings (ouch!), turned his back on his former "sinful" life and enrolled in seminary to become a minister. He didn't finish because of the strong demands of raising three boys. But he lived his faith through his family and through lay ministry in local churches.
My folks' spirituality was so strong that they often found it hard to find a church that met their needs. So we church-hopped for many years. I can't remember all the churches, but we were Baptists, Methodists, Nazarenes, Assemblies of God, Pentecostals, fundamentalist, evangelical, "Bible-believing" and charismatic... I felt truly fortunate to have been born into the "truth" and at the age of fifteen I committed myself to a lifetime of Christian ministry.
My commitment lasted nineteen years. It gave my life a feeling of purpose, destiny and fulfillment. I spent years trekking across Mexico in missionary work--small villages, jungles, deserts, large arenas, radio, television, parks, prisons and street meetings. I spent more years in traveling evangelism across the United States preaching and singing in churches, on street corners, house-to-house witnessing, college campuses and wherever an audience could be found.
I was a "doer of the word and not a hearer only." I went to a Christian college, majored in Religion/Philosophy, became ordained and served in a pastoral capacity in three California churches. I personally led many people to Jesus Christ, and encouraged many young people to consider full-time Christian service...I was very serious about my faith, and that I am quite capable of analyzing religion from the inside out.
I did not lose my faith, I gave it up purposely. The motivation that drove me into the ministry is the same that drove me out. I have always wanted to know. Even as a child I fervently pursued truth. I was rarely content to accept things without examination, and my examinations were intense. I was a thirsty learner, a good student, and a good minister because of that drive. I always took things apart and put them back together again.
You can read the whole article here...
Please excuse the longer post… it is an interesting read by Dan Barker. Dan used to be a pastor; but is now an athiest. I post only because it’s interesting reading; and something we all can learn from. Dan writes:
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bernie dehler on Wed, October 05, 2005
Yup- I think it is a new apologetics field… dealing with those who were once believers. Bottom line, yup, it takes faith… there’s no way out of it… If our ‘faith’ was based on logic or reason, it wouldn’t be a ‘faith.’
...Bernie
Romans 10:17
Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.
Bobby on Wed, October 05, 2005
Bernie, you are right on: “If our ‘faith’ was based on logic or reason, it wouldn’t be a ‘faith.’” Faith is irrational; I think that non-believers like Mr. Barker have the intellectual high ground in these matters. It certainly is a “leap of faith” or it’s not faith at all. Long live the Faith!…
Amanda Hayes on Wed, October 05, 2005
My opinion about this man is pretty simple. I do not believe he was ever saved.
bernie dehler on Wed, October 05, 2005
Bobby says:
“Faith is irrational; I think that non-believers like Mr. Barker have the intellectual high ground in these matters.”
No, I don’t think faith is irrational. It just can’t be proven, that’s all.
No, intellectual atheists don’t have the intellectual high ground. How can they when they refuse to see the Creator from creation? Ya right, a big bang, with no intellegence, created this highly-designed system (brains, eyes, dna, etc.)… I think it takes more ‘faith’ to be an Atheist!
This is why Athesists are ‘lost,’ because their “science” is clueless on anything that’s not scientific (such as, what happens after death, etc.). My guess is that the guy will swing back into some sort of non-christian spirituality, since most people are spiritual, even if they don’t believe in God. We are spiritual, as well as material, beings… that’s the way God made us. This guy will turn into a perpetual “seeker,” barring a salvation miracle. By the way, I know someone who left the faith for 30 years, then returned.
...Bernie
http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/247
Pastor Al on Wed, October 05, 2005
I will wait until the next shoe drops, when he comes out of the closet.
Is that too cynical? If so I apologize.
We “give up” “loose our faith” or “backslide” for a very simple reason, God convicts us of some sin in our lives and we refuse to give it up. Sounds like his besetting sin was the “pride of knowledge.”
matt on Wed, October 05, 2005
the responses to this guy are pretty interesting…seems like most people are working pretty hard to defend themselves by making sure they are able to catagorize this guy. Long live the “Christians are judgemental” label.
Perhaps another way to read this article is to engage the ideas…not because we agree but because they are real ideas. Chances are that there are people in our churches who think this way and actually wrestle with the questions and ideas that this guy is articulating. Perhaps we could learn from this article how to build a more solid bridge between Christ as those who are wandering.
Guard your hearts, men and women of leadership in Christ’s church…it’s quite a ride down the slope to legalism.
Linda on Wed, October 05, 2005
“My commitment lasted nineteen years. It gave my life a feeling of purpose, destiny and fulfillment.”
I am curious as to what IT is.
Bob Franquiz on Wed, October 05, 2005
Matt,
Great answer! I think we all wrestle with stuff like this from time to time. Perhaps not to the degree that Mr. Barker does, but doubt rears its’ head in everyone’s life.
I would like to say that I don’t believe the Christian faith is irrational as was mentioned. Jesus either rose from the dead or He didn’t. There’s nothing irrational about facts. I understand what was meant about faith in that creation can’t be observed, so we see the facts that are available to us and believe that over another theory. Both involve faith because we weren’t there. But the christian faith isn’t a blind faith, it’s an informed faith.
Wow, that was long…
Thomas E. Jones on Wed, October 05, 2005
We in the western world have created a “religion of church” in which you can put on the idea of christianity like a jacket. You can get in the flow of church, do church works and even “Pastor” a church without even being redeemed. If you do the right things and say the right things, the slumbering saints will never know the difference.
However, if your relationship and calling is really from above, it takes a life of its own inside of you, becoming the major motivating factor in your life.
In the former manner, when you run out of sermons, out of knowledge and things get stale, there is no-where to go but out. There is nothing inside leading you and even at times driving you in your walk with God.
I think this man found “churchianity” moreso than a true Christian walk. With “Churchianity”, you can walk out and feel relieved, but with true Christianity, you may be discouraged and distraught, but there is always something (Holy Spirit) pulling you and empowering you to walk the next step.
pjlr on Wed, October 05, 2005
Wow! That was some of the saddest stuff I have ever read.
BeHim on Wed, October 05, 2005
I would be willing to say there are allot of atheists that are still (currently) pastors.
You can find out by asking just a few simple questions.
Bobby on Thu, October 06, 2005
Bernie wrote: “No, intellectual atheists don’t have the intellectual high ground. How can they when they refuse to see the Creator from creation? Ya right, a big bang, with no intellegence, created this highly-designed system (brains, eyes, dna, etc.)… I think it takes more ‘faith’ to be an Atheist!”
Bernie, I agree with you; and much of what you write is in accordance with Romans 1:18-23. However, you are ‘begging the question’ from a logical stand point.
Bob wrote: “Both involve faith because we weren’t there.”
Very true. Science looks at evidences in nature to draw conclusions (and one very different from the Creationist world view). And yes, science does not concern itself with God (i.e. supernatural) ideas. Hebrews 11:6 states that “… anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists..” Indeed, if a person doesn’t have faith or believe that God exists, they certainly won’t know/please Him. I’m only trying to point out that the conclusions that have been drawn from science are not rationally unreasonable.
Anyway, I digress… Mr. Barker’s story is sad though.
John on Thu, October 06, 2005
In reading his article it became pretty clear to me that he was probably never saved to start with. The truth is, being religious and being saved are two completely different things. Saddly he spent his life in church trying to accomplish something that would make him believe in the God he was serving. Kind of funny because obviously he really wanted to believe or he wouldn’t have tried so hard, but what he lacked was faith and without that key to his walk with God he simply had a job in a church. The irony of the story is that God still used him to lead non believers to Christ and the people he led to the Lord will spend eternity in heaven without him which is probably the saddest part of all of it. Some people equate being saved with a sinnless life which is ridiculous but as a pastor who counsels broken people I can say that everyone of them that is saved still loves God even though thier lives are a wreck. Often times their very angry at Him, but you can’t be angry with God unless you believe in Him. My heart and prayers go out to Dan Barker for I hope God will break down the walls of unbelief so He can show him for the first time who He really is. Dan if you ever read this, God still loves you.
BeHim on Thu, October 06, 2005
John, you’re absolutely right “he was probably never saved to start with.”
and happy to see a fellow presupper in our midst bobby.
Here’s a question for some thought:
Are the people this atheist pastor preached and taught really converts/saved?
bernie dehler on Thu, October 06, 2005
Behim asks:
“Are the people this atheist pastor preached and taught really converts/saved?”
The Apostle Paul replies:
“It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. The latter do so in love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.”
Philippians 1:15-18
...Bernie
http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/247
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