I Don’t Like My Church Anymore
- Posted by: Todd
- Posted on: Mon, September 27, 2004
- Viewed 210
- (53) comments so far
It hasn?t always been this way. I used to love going to church. I would look forward to it every week. I loved the worship time, ate up the preaching and enjoyed the fellowship with the people around me. However, all this has begun to change for me lately. I?ve come to the point where I don?t want to be bothered with talking to people. It?s not that they?re not good people, it?s just that I really don?t want to talk to them. I find that I?m not as interested in the worship and preaching as I used to be. In fact, I usually find every possible way to criticize the songs we sing or the delivery of the message (that?s the effect Bible college can have on some people).
You see, the problem with all this is that I?m in ministry myself. It?s actually my job to be at the service on Sunday morning. Maybe that?s part of the problem. Maybe I?m bitter that I have to go into ?work? while other people can go and enjoy the service because they have no obligation.
There?s a larger problem involved, however, and I don?t believe it?s a problem that is uncommon to people (particularly twentysomethings, of which I am one) in the church today. You see, I walk in to the church service, sit down, cross my arms and expect God to do something in me. I expect the worship team to bring me out of my apathy. I wait for something the pastor says to catch my ear. What?s the problem with all this? It?s me. Nothing has changed in my church since the time when I enjoyed coming. I?ve changed. I?ve become more selfish. I?ve become more cynical. In fact, it?s gotten to the point where my girlfriend told me yesterday that maybe she should sit somewhere else during the service because she can sense that I don?t want to be there.
More than all this, I?ve come to expect the church to forge my spiritual development. Instead of working on my own prayer and devotional life, I want the church to do it for me. Please tell me I?m not the only one in the Body of Christ who has this problem. Please tell me there are other lazy people, who come to church on Sunday and expect to be filled up for the week ahead. Meanwhile, they have no expectation of giving anything. (I?m not talking about money either.) We aren?t willing to give of ourselves in worship. We aren?t willing to give of ourselves to each other, to minister to our friends who have hurts too (we?re not the only ones who hurt, even though we?d like to think so sometimes).
I?d like to blame all this on our American culture of selfishness. I?d like to say that I am this way because I?ve been socially conditioned by all the advertising and marketing that I?m encountered with day after day; advertising that says things like ?Have it Your Way.? Well, I do want it my way. Don?t we all? Isn?t it true that if we don?t like how things are done at one church we can just go across town (or across the street, for some of us) and find a church that suits our felt needs better? Is that what Jesus intended for His church? Did He want us to forsake our churches just to seek ?greener pastures? somewhere else? It?s true that the Church is flawed. No church is exempt from this. But instead of giving up (or becoming total cynics of every last detail) we should be working to change that which is wrong in our churches, but more than that?to change that which is wrong in ourselves. And changing what is wrong in us is probably the harder of the two. Selfishness doesn?t go away easily (trust me, I?ve still got plenty of it). How else can we work to change from selfish people to gracious and generous people other than asking for the help of the Holy Spirit? There is no other way that I know of (and I?m sure I?ve tried many) to deal with sin of every kind.
In the end, I can only blame my own sinful nature that allows me to become like I am. It?s my fault, not my church?s, that I think and act this way. Until I, and those like me, are willing to own up to this, we will continue to be unfulfilled Christians who take up space in the pews on Sunday mornings, but have nothing to contribute to the radical mission that the church is called to.
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What are your thoughts? Have you had these same feelings? Did you come to the same conclusion as Doug or something totally different? Please leave your comments by clicking the comments link below.
Oh, and by the way... you can see this whole article at the RelevantMagazine.com website now as well!
Todd
When the alarm goes off on Sunday morning, what is your attitude? A sense of excitement or a sense of foreboding? I came across a very honest, interesting and thought provoking article by Doug Tappan this week at RelevantMagazine.com. Please take a couple minutes this morning to read this… I think it will hit a nerve and challenge you as you start your week. Doug writes…
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Comments
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Ryan Walker on Mon, September 27, 2004
Wow! What a powerful article! I share those same sentiments. We expect others to bring God to us on Sunday mornings rather than being ready and prepared to walk into the presence of God. No, Doug is NOT the only person. You can look at the number of people who are involved in the ministry of the church compared to those who attend. That in itself reflects that Doug is not the only one: 20% of the people doing 80% of the work and the tithing. Besides that, however, there are many church leaders who expect the senior pastor to preach what they want preached, expect the music pastor to utilize songs and instruments that they want, and expect youth pastors to lead the youth as they see fit rather than how God is leading the pastoral leaders to lead. I am a music pastor and have been involved in ministry for 6 years now and have witnessed this on many occasions, including in MY heart what *I* want to see done, rather than the direction in which God is leading. Yes, I believe individuals have failed God which has caused the church to fail. However, God is still using the church to reach people for HIM. Once we, as Christians, grasp onto God and worship HIM in spirit and truth rather than dwelling on our desires, maybe then the church will be what God intended it to be.
Thank you Doug for your insights. I don’t always like church either. I think I’d rather go back to the way it was in the early days when Christians met in each other’s homes rather than a big building.
Valerie Richardson on Mon, September 27, 2004
When I forget who I am, I fall quickly into the same rut Doug describes so well—a common snare for all believers, I think. When I get into the “doing” mode and neglect “being” I wear out fast. God loves me. As a result I love Him. Loving Him means loving others. Relationship!! This strong foundation of “God is love” calls me back over and over to the very center, the very core—Jesus. When I experience the fresh love of Jesus and live into it, I am helped. I wither up fast without the ongoing experience of being loved by God and loving God. The song says… “I keep falling in love with Him over and over and over and over again…” If I don’t I’m in trouble. When His authentic love flows through me it is expressed in the way I show up for other people. I am giving and caring and deepening authentic relationship. I am being transformed along with the community of God by His love reaching. I accepted Jesus 27 years ago and the same thing is still true for me… I need Him, I need His renewing love forever reaching through me. I am as desperately dependent upon Him now as I was day one. When I forget this, which I do, I find that the only answer is running into His love again. Keeping myself in the genuine love of God, (relationship), keeps me fresh, young and vital.
Ricky Roubique on Mon, September 27, 2004
I believe Doug represents the symptom instead of the problem with what we call “church” today, i.e., a program that strengthens the structural aspects of what is basically an organization and NOT a church.
Such a structure, which is the result of centuries of false teaching designed to keep a few in power over the many, cannot bring the life-giving power that the Body of Christ, with each member expressing his/her uniqueness of calling and gifting, can only bring.
The very notion that we require “worship leaders” and “pastors” in order to grow in the grace of Christ is misrepresentative to the nature of the Body of Christ and insulting to the Holy Spirit. We have created what is, in essence, a “welfare mentality” in the church where people have been taught that they NEED such people to lead them in their walk in Christ.
Instead, such programs and practices, which bear no resemblance to the simple yet powerful practices of the Early Church, strangle the Body of Christ by “boxing up” believers. When a part of our bodies is not allowed to be used atrophy and ultimate death is the result.
It is time for God’s people to reclaim what is their’s by right, the freedom to congregate together where everyone is encouraged to express the “psalm, hymn and spiritual song” that resides in every believer and that is designed to equip the Body for the work of service.
Ricky Roubique on Mon, September 27, 2004
Quote: “When I get into the “doing” mode and neglect “being” I wear out fast.”
“Church” today, forces people into the “doing mode.” Authentic, Biblical church encourages “being” the Body.
Jody on Mon, September 27, 2004
I am also a pastor and I do feel this way sometimes. But I think it comes from the idea that we are suppossed to “get something” out of worship. Excuse me. But we aren’t here to worship you! I believe we are suppossed to “get something” out of Christian Education, we are suppossed to “give something” (ourselves) to God in worship and pray that God gets something out of it.
Robert Neyland on Mon, September 27, 2004
I understand totally. Not only do I understand, but a whole generation is resigned to the fact that the style and method of church HAS to change to reflect the culture we find ourselves in. That is why me and several others are starting a “hippie” church. Actually we are not a “church”, but a community of believers.Our service has Jesus as the center, not a man. We don’t have a “pastor”, but a facilitator of the Holy spirit. Services are spontaneious…never the same from week to week. And, it is a time of refreshing from the Lord that allows all ages from birth to death to participate. Religion sucks ! Worship is our method of delivery and we DARE to challenge pay structures/ titles/ and everything else that strokes peoples egos. We just want to see the lost found and exalt Jesus as our Lord and saviour! If you want to know how the lost feel about “church” check out the song “Mammon” by Todd Rundgren on his latest release “Liars”........We will win the lost, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and visit those in prison….......robert neyland
Edwin Rivera on Mon, September 27, 2004
Definitely true. Sometimes I feel the same way. I receive Doug insights as a red light. There sometimes when we need God’s mirror not our mics or instruments. Selfishness is a subtle temptation between leadership and is very helpful to have a wake up call.
Bernie Dehler on Mon, September 27, 2004
Yes, it’s a crisis. Church is boring. Pastors don’t seem to care because they know it’s an “obligation” to attend. The faithful have no choice: attend or feel guilty.
Some of us get it. Make it relevent. Make it interesting. Get beyond “church 101” blah blah blah… of course, we all get sick of milk after awhile… time for some meat.
There’s also too much emphasis on “getting people born again” and then stopping there. We need to work on maturing Christians. Yes, when you mature others, you can’t boast about numbers, but it’s not just about boasting how great you are by how many you “saved” (or probably actually “re-saved” as people accept Christ multiple times).
...Bernie
http://www.FreeGoodNews.com
Bruce on Mon, September 27, 2004
Dear Saints,
IT’S NOT ABOUT US IT IS TOTALLY ABOUT HIM! I weep and I’m sure the Master (Jesus Christ) does also when He hears His people say “there’s also too much emphasis on getting people born again”. It’s a reflection of an Anti-Christ spirit and needs to be bound and rebuked in Jesus name. Division in the Church is NOT from the Lord, it’s from Satan people. We, Christians are the Church.
Please encourage all church leaders to yeild all activities and services held in God’s “house of prayer” be totally lead by the Holy Spirit and place Jesus Christ as head of their ministry.
I beg you my fellow Christians, please do not turn this site into a religious debate, CNN or 60 minutes. We need to be about doing our Father’s business in these last days and leading as many as we can to Jesus Christ before they are left behind to face persecution and eternal damnation.
This message was sent out of LOVE and should be interpeted that way by all.
God Bless, Bruce
Ambassador for Christ
Scott Corgatelli on Mon, September 27, 2004
I guess I have been there. And I have questioned my own spiritual desires during worship services. I believe that the biggest problem that the “Church” is going to have to face is what we call “worship”. I think that “worship” technically means that we are to come to offer something to God- never to receive. To my regret, that is not how we do worship services… We are either “seeker-sensative” (Not at all about offering to God- more about offering to the masses) or we try to be contemporary (which- again- is about the worshiper and not about the worshiped). I believe that it is time to think about a “worship service” that is truly about worship… No one is on stage but God. The complicated thing about this is that this means that the service could lose a sense of order (read 1st Corinthians to know the dangers of this type of a service). The service clearly needs some order or direction. To deny that there is need for leadership or any other spiritual gift for the sake of authenticity really denies the body of Christ, because the gifts are given for the body… I know these are random thoughts—but I guess that is because I am trying to understand them myself…
Aaron Soderholm on Mon, September 27, 2004
I believe Bruce misunderstood Edwin Rivera when he said, “There’s also too much emphasis on ‘getting people born again’.” Sure that sounds bad if you only quote that much of what he said. Let’s tack on the rest of what he said and find out what he meant. “There’s also too much emphasis on ‘getting people born again’ AND THEN STOPPING THERE.”
Wow, there is a whole new meaning now. I think it is a shame that many churches just want people to “be saved.” Just because someone says they are saved means nothing. There actions are the sign that they are saved. If church leaders don’t help mature the “saved,” few will stay “saved” long. Good teaching is the hallmark of a good church and that is what we need more of.
We also need more people willing to tell the truth about Christ and not stylize it like many modern mega churches do today. God’s (and Jesus’) message is amazing once you dive in and really get into the “meat” of it. I am a stronger Christian today than I ever was because I continually study His Word. Everyday I learn something new and it is all thanks to one of my good friends who had the conviction to tell me what I was doing against God. Bless him for saying something and truly leading me to know the Lord better than I ever have.
Aaron Soderholm on Mon, September 27, 2004
Sorry, I meant to say, “I believe Bruce misunderstood Bernie Dehler when he said, “
Robin Mayer on Mon, September 27, 2004
9/27/04
What a powerful article. thank you.
williams on Mon, September 27, 2004
Some of that, I can relate to. Doug is
absolutly correctly. Its not the Church,
its not the worship, and its not the people.
What about us? Its all about self examination.
CJ McMillan on Mon, September 27, 2004
My problem with church is that I am very insecure and shy person. So I get easily self-centered and withdrawn. I feel left out because we have so many clicks and being single I have very few friends to hang with. I am on my prayer team, but I feel like that is the only reason other then my love for Jesus that keeps me in the church. I don’t church hop I don’t have much confidence even at age 31 to do that, but mostly I just feel lone ranger. Most people are busy and married and our schedules conflict. I work alot, but I have no social life. I don’t think that it is easy to try to find your niche in any church. It helps if you have confidence in God and not low self worth. I have been genuinely rejected in life and in alot of churches so I beyond ministry and worship service I am not into the social aspect of the whole deal. But I agree it is my own self centered nature that causes my problems. Am I going to worship for God or to meet friends or my potential husband?Still its lonely where I am at and even trying to reach out I have failed alot more then succeeded. Does anybody out there relate. In church we christians say that race or looks or social status, education, money, etc does not matter, but it does to our flesh and most time we relate to one another on totally superficial levels and not based on God. If we did we would all reach out and allow the Spirit to lead us to the right church the right friends, etc. I think about how the disciples were pretty self preoccupied before the Lord was crucified, but after He was resurrected they were changed when they all drew together in one accord in the upper room waiting for the Holy Spirit to empower them. After that you see them being more focused on God, not perfect, but just more focused on what is really important. That is how we should be then those of us in church and out of church would be more enthusiastic about coming become there would be more acceptance. We will never be perfect, but we can “strive for perfection” through the empowering of the Holy Spirit.
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