Monday Morning Insights

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    New “Pastor-Blaster” Helps Churches with Windy Pastors

    In an attempt to rectify the situation people began “dropping hints” when Waggoner would go too long.

    “Several of us would set our watch alarms for noon so that they’d all go off at the same time.” Said Crimm. “But that didn’t seem to work. Then several people started pretending to have coughing fits hoping to distract him, but it was no use.”

    To hopefully solve the situation the church has invested in a new product that is taking the evangelical world by storm.

    Pastor Blaster attaches discretely to a pastors leg. The remote control is then given to a member of the congregation who monitors the length of the sermon. The monitor is then able to deliver a light electrical shock if the preacher begins to go over time.

    Read more here...

    The members of Lake Vista Baptist Church like punctuality. But recently the church has gone through some tensions with their new pastor. Rev. Charles "Chuck" Waggoner joined the congregation 6 months ago and the people immediately took to him. "He was great when he first came." Said Maggie Crimm, the church's pianist. "He visited people, and his sermons were great. But around Christmas time things just started getting out of hand." The trouble began when Waggoner's sermons began getting longer and longer, often going past noon...


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    1. Camey on Fri, March 16, 2007

      (Guess I’ve been around teenage boys too much this week. A different kind of “windy” came to my mind when reading the title.)

      Know alot of peeps who would like this! Would it work also if the preacher said something you didn’t like no matter how long he’s gone? You’d have a mega money maker with that one!

    2. Randy Ehle on Fri, March 16, 2007

      I’ve heard of immediate feedback systems, but this one has some real potential.  Maybe a variation would be to rig up something that the pastor can use to tailor his message to the congregation:

      Get one of the systems that they’ve been using recently for political debates to measure the audience’s immediate reaction to what the candidates are saying, and put the feedback meter on the pulpit.  That way, if the pastor starts convicting people of sin and they don’t like it, he can know their feelings right away and move back from the touchy subjects.  Talk about potential for church growth - anyone who knew their feelings would be so immediately taken into consideration would just die to go to that church! 

      Hmmm…I see great things in the church marketing and growth arenas.  Better call the Patent Office!

    3. Dan Moore on Mon, March 19, 2007

      Don’t let my wife find out about this!

    4. David Copeland on Wed, March 21, 2007

      just another way to prove American church people think they are god (little g intended) and in control….

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