Monday Morning Insights

Photo of Todd

    Signs Your Church People Aren’t Reading Their Bibles Enough

    7.  Their favorite Old Testament patriarch is Hercules.

    6.  A small family of woodchucks has taken up residence in Psalms.

    5.  They become frustrated because Charlton Heston isn?t listed in either the concordance or the table of contents.

    4.  Catching the kids reading the Song of Solomon, they demand: ?Who gave you this stuff??

    3.  They think the minor prophets worked in the quarries.

    2.  They keep falling for it every time when you tell them to turn to First Condominiums.

    1.  The kids keep asking too many questions about their usual bedtime story: ?Jonah the Shepherd Boy and His Ark of Many Colors?

    Needed something light for a Friday... smile


    10.  You announce the sermon is from Galatians ? and everyone checks the table of contents.  9.  They think Abraham, Isaac & Jacob may have had a few hit songs during the 60’s.  8.  They open to the Gospel of Luke and a WWII Savings Bond falls out…


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    1. pjlr on Sat, July 30, 2005

      There you go Todd being controversial.  You make a post about humor and the church and then you go and stir up the waters.

      Thanks for the laugh.  I’ll be using it as an opening for my sermon about the lack of Bible reading that exists in our congregation. I’ll get back to you if it splits the church and hold you personally accountable

    2. Peter Hamm on Sat, July 30, 2005

      Okay, in the spirit of keeping it light… (maybe you’ve heard some of these…)

      How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?

      Four. One to change the bulb, three to bring casseroles.

      How many Pentecostals does it take to change a lightbulb?

      One, but he does it fast, cause his hands are already in the air.

      How many Quakers does it take to change a lightbulb?

      None, they just sit there quietly and wait for God to do it.


      How many Presbyterians does it take to change a lightbulb?


      How many Episcopalians does it take to change a lightbulb?

      Three, One to change it and two to mix drinks…

      Aw, come on, you think it’s funny… admit it.


    3. bernie dehler on Sun, July 31, 2005

      Q. Where is the first math problem mentioned in the Bible?

      A. When God told Adam and Eve to go forth and multiply.


    4. kd on Fri, October 14, 2005

      When people ask why Adam and Eve couldn’t gamble and you say because their “ pair of dice’ was taken away”.When people ask who was the first man mentioned in the bible and you answer chap1!

    5. LeVaN on Fri, November 03, 2006 ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^

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