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    Ten Hard Questions Pastors Must Ask Themselves

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    "In 70 percent of the churches in America, the pastor is the only full-time staff person. In this environment the pastor is often expected to be omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient," stated Thom S. Rainer, founder of The Rainer Group, and recently elected president-candidate of LifeWay Christian Bookstores.

    Rainer explained in his article that any role in leadership should be viewed in the long-term. Which is why "quick fix" solutions "usually do more harm than good."

    "Long-term commitments are desperately needed in established churches," he said.

    The ten things can be categorized into maintaining three sets of relationships: with God, with man, and with self.

    Here are the questions:

    1. How Is Your Prayer Life?

    Pastors, church leaders, let us get painfully honest with each other and with God. Most of us have so many demands on our lives that prayer takes a back seat to everything else. Recent studies have shown that the average American pastor spends from 15 to 22 minutes daily in prayer. And one of four pastors spends less than 10 minutes daily in prayer.

    A small group of believers in the first Christian church "joined together constantly in prayers" (Acts 1:14). The prayers of the early church unleashed the power of God to add thousands to the church. It happened then. It is happening today in some traditional churches once thought to be at death?s door. It can happen in your church if your people are praying, but do not expect others to have a priority of prayer unless you are first sold out. How is your prayer life?

    2. Whom Did You Tell about Jesus Today?

    I have heard it said often that the laity in our church must do the witnessing since they are the ones who have regular contact with non-Christians. Such a statement is true, but I am afraid that many vocational ministers use that truth as a convenient excuse not to witness. The reality is that we may have more opportunities because of our position. Regardless, God will honor our prayers if we ask Him for witnessing opportunities.

    You are probably sincere in your desire to see God?s vision for your church. Vision is an outward focus of God?s possibilities. Can we really expect Him to show us that vision unless we are outwardly focused ourselves? Whom did you tell about Jesus today?

    3. How Is Your Family Life?

    A wise pastor offered me one bit of advice when I shared with him that God had called me to be a pastor. "Do not neglect your family," he said. "You will live to regret it." I conveniently forgot his words of wisdom when I accepted the call to pastor my first church.

    My family life has not been perfect, but the commitment is still genuine today. Do you remember Paul?s word to a young pastor named Timothy? "If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God?s church?" (1 Tim. 3:5). Wow! Those words are powerful! God will reveal His vision for your established church after you have your family priorities in order. How is your family life?

    4. Do You Need to Reconcile with Someone?

    Imagine that you are praying to God to reveal His vision for your church. You are burdened to discover how your traditional church can make a difference for the kingdom. In the midst of your request, you hear the voice of God say "No, way!" You would be shocked to say the least.

    Though such a scenario may not be completely accurate, the theological truth is on target. Jesus said, "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift" (Matt. 5:23-24). At another point Jesus said, "But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins" (6:15).

    Jesus obviously placed a high value on the relationships between
    Christians. In fact, God refuses to accept our worship and service until we are in right relationship with others. Perhaps the reason we sense that our churches are stagnant is that we have a broken relationship that needs healing. Do you need to reconcile with someone?

    5. Are You Handling Your Finances Biblically?

    Too many ministers are poorly compensated. Sometimes, however, it is not the level of compensation that is the problem. Rather it is our handling of the money. Is your lifestyle on that honors Christ? Could you make some adjustments to downscale your lifestyle? Do you give abundantly and cheerfully, well beyond the tithe? Do you have a budget so that you can manage your money well? Do you incur as little debt as possible? Are you handling your finances biblically?

    In my next article we will look at the next five issues that are requisite to leadership, especially in the established church. I pray for pastors around our nation regularly, and though I probably do not know you by name, God knows you are in those prayers and in His hands.

    6. Are You Committed to Stay?

    Any role of leadership should be viewed with a long-term outlook. "Quick-fix" solutions usually do more harm than good. Long-term commitments are desperately needed in established churches.

    But the average tenure of pastors has declined from seven years to four years in the past 20 years. Among some denomination?s pastors, the average tenure is even shorter.

    While pastors are leaving churches at a more rapid pace than ever, numerous studies have concluded that the most productive years for the pastor may depend on longevity. Lyle Schaller found that the greatest growth of churches occurred in years five through eight of a pastor?s tenure. Kirk Hadaway, whose research was limited to Southern Baptist pastors, concluded that the most productive years were three through six. And George Barna?s data point to increasing productivity for pastors between years three and 15.

    Undoubtedly, God will call some pastors to move to another church after a short time. He is sovereign and knows best for the kingdom. It is difficult to believe, however, that the mobility we are seeing in American pastors today is good for our churches.

    If the established churches of our country are to make a difference for the kingdom, they will need leaders who will lead them through deliberate change over a long-term period. Are you committed to stay?

    7. Do You Love Your Flock Unconditionally?

    I once received a critical note from a church member. Unlike some of my peers in the ministry, I am a thin-skinned person who gets hurt easily by such comments. While I try to take such criticism in stride, the temptation to dwell on the negative is ever before me.

    As pastor or other leader in your church, do you love the people of your church as Christ loves you?

    Sometimes we accept rather lightheartedly the unconditional love of Christ for us. But we are to love others, even the most difficult of church members, with that same type of love. Do you love your flock unconditionally?

    8. How Do You Look at Other Churches?

    In my denomination, most of the 42,000 churches report a plethora of statistical data each year. It is not unusual, therefore, to see churches "ranked" by baptisms, new members, budget or other factors.

    While such a numerical summary can be healthy if it engenders accountability and motivates leadership, it can be unhealthy if a competitive or jealous spirit develops among pastors.

    God desires to give you His vision for your church. But how can we keep our eyes on Him when we might be so preoccupied with the apparent success of other churches?

    Your faithfulness in ministry is not measured relative to other churches. Competitiveness among churches is nothing less than sinful disobedience. Do you rejoice at the growth of other churches? Are you praying for their pastors? How do you look at other churches?

    9. How Do You Define Success?

    The church-growth movement has taught us much in the past few decades. It has shown us some of the sociological and organizational reasons for the growth or lack of growth in churches.

    The movement has also demonstrated the importance of numerical measurement as a method for accountability.

    I am very much in disagreement with the critics who insist that numbers and statistical information are out of place in the church. To the contrary, those churches that ignore their numerical realities are often the ones that demonstrate the lowest levels of responsibility and accountability.

    Numbers can be healthy if used in a proper context and with the right motive.

    On the other hand, I hear the concern of the critics who are concerned that numbers may become the end instead of the means for churches. While we must be ever conscious of growth rates, attendance levels, conversions and other numerically measurable concerns, we cannot let such numbers be our ultimate measures for success.

    True success is nothing more and nothing less than obedience to God. Results, numerical and otherwise, will usually be positive if we are obedient. But even if they are not positive, we will be deemed successful to God if we are faithful. How do you define success?

    10. Do You Have an Attitude of Gratitude?

    One of my sons once showed me a poem in one of his textbooks. The primary character in the poem was a wise man who was approached by two strangers. The first stranger, a newcomer to the city, asked the wise man what kind of people lived in the city.

    The wise man responded with a question: "What kind of people live in the town from where you came?"

    The first stranger then described his fellow citizens as mean-spirited, untrustworthy and self-centered. The wise man responded, "You will find the people very much like that here."

    The second stranger, who arrived later, asked the identical question, with the wise man responding with the same question. But this time the second stranger said that his fellow citizens were kind, trustworthy and concerned for others. The wise man once again responded, "You will find the people very much like that here."

    The manner in which we lead our churches, communicate God?s vision and encourage enthusiasm will be directly related to our attitude toward the church and the people. If we focus on the negative, the critical people and the unpleasant tasks, we will see our churches as the first stranger viewed his hometown.

    But we can choose God?s way of being thankful and joyous at the abundance of blessings He has given us. Paul wrote to the Philippian church: "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is admirable ? if anything is excellent or praiseworthy ? think about such things" (Phil. 4:8).

    Sometimes it takes a rude awakening for us pastors to realize how blessed we are.

    I was in the middle of a pity party about some difficult church matters when the telephone rang. The friend who called me was asking for prayers. He had just been fired from his job; he and his family of four did not know where to turn.

    The incident reminded me of the old saying: "I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet."

    Pastors, church leaders ? are you thanking God every day for his mercy, blessings and love? Are you focusing on the good, instead of dwelling on the negative? Do you have an attitude of gratitude?

    (You can read the entire articles about this at ChurchCentral.com and ChristianPost.com)

    FOR DISCUSSION TODAY:  After you've asked yourself these ten questions, which ones do you need to work on?  Which are easiest for you?  By sharing your experiences you can help someone who could be going through the same circumstances!

    The average pastoral career lasts only 14 years and 1,500 pastors leave their assignments every month in the United States because of conflict, burn-out, or moral failure, according to the Christian research group, The Barna Group. In light of burdening difficulties pastors face, Thomas S. Rainer, founder of a successful consulting firm for churches, wrote out ten questions pastors should ask themselves before giving up....

    Comments

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    1. Tony Story on Tue, September 06, 2005

      I’m having a real problem with #7.  I guess after so many years of “putting up with ungrateful, uncommitted, selfish, self-centered church folk”, my love is becoming harsh.

      Any suggestions?

       

    2. Dan on Tue, September 06, 2005

      These are good questions to ask one’s self in the ministry.  I have seen them before.  I have to fight for time for prayer.  It is so easy to get caught up in “administrivia.”  Another issue is witnessing.  The demands of the church membership - both realistic and unrealistic - can keep a pastor to busy.  I have a part-time job that gets me back into the sea of people and opens up doors of witnessing.  I make it a point to set aside at least one day just for soul-winning.  Tenure is vital.  I placed that at the top of my list when I entered the ministry.  It reflects the same level of commitment one has to marriage.  If pastors considered themselves “married” to the church, things like success and conflict managment would be viewed differently.  I see success in the ministry as being a faithful steward.  I realize it is God who builds the local church.  I do what I can, prayerfully and biblically, and then let God take up my slack.  Numbers do not bother me - people matter!

    3. Helen on Tue, September 06, 2005

      These are 10 very good questions for everyone to ask themselves, not just pastors.  We as Christians are all accountable and required to live by higher standards.  I will be using these questions to help structure my life.  I am a full time volunteer and feel my calling just as strongly as a pastor’s.

    4. Scott Williamson on Tue, September 06, 2005

      I’ve spent 18 great years in ministry in two churches. My wife and I were sent to begin our first ministry and were there for ten years before returning back to our home church where we have currently served for 8 years. During those 18 years, we have seen God do great things! With the blessing of growth also came the ‘overload zone’, and one day recently I realized I didn’t want the church to grow any more because I couldn’t take care of the ones that were there. I was clinically depressed and ready to give up the ministry all together. Then, I got away for a few days, just me and God. During that time away, God spoke to my heart about the very issue of prayer. My prayer life had become non-existent. My spiritual walk had decayed because of the busyness of ministry. I’m now trying to restore my relationship with God. To quote what I felt God spoke to my heart, “You’re no good, if you’re no good!”. Prayer calls upon God to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. Thanks for the reminder that we must never sacrifice our prayer lives for “ministry”.

    5. David C on Tue, September 06, 2005

      I can really relate with what Scott had to say.  I have been feeling my prayer life and spiritual walk slowly slipping away since arriving at a new larger busier church.  It doesn’t help that my Senior Pastor has left and everything that I thought I would be doing here has changed.  I am working on this, but the real issue I need to address number 5.  I feel guilty that I am having to request more money from the church.  I don’t feel like we live a lavish lifestyle but I feel like we could be doing better.  I just need someone to show what is appropriate and inappropriate when it comes to spending.  Can anyone recommend a good resource to guide me through on this?

      Thanks

       

    6. Bob C on Tue, September 06, 2005

      I’m grateful for the great reminders in this article. As I read the responses, I see so much that applies to me. Like others, prayer is the #1 thing lacking in my life. I’ve even learned to rationalize my need to concentrate my time on “ministry.” Who am I kidding? Thanks for the much-needed slap in the face. I needed it.

    7. Gary Dorfman on Wed, September 07, 2005

      MY wife and I started a jail ministry at first baptist church of fortlauderdale. We got Gods blessing and the church now does 260 jial services a year for men and women. I felt it was time to ask to be put on the pat roll or staff or what ever you would like to call it. I never worked harder on anything else in my life. the church offered me nothing . no money no job and no guildiness. I just when back to start college and work a full time job. I am looking for a full time ministry job. very disappointed in the church where I was at because I am a great man of GOD WITH OUT A DEGREE BUT KNOW THE WORD OF GOD AND MENS HEARTS I VISITED IN JAIL. SO MANY PASTOR LEAVUNG AND HERE’S ONE LOOKING FOR A JOB. Gary Dorfman 954-341-7380 blessing in christ

    8. William Laing on Wed, September 07, 2005

      I’ve been in ministry for 23 years, ORDAINED ministry for the last twelve years (including jail & prison ministry, and volunteer work done on behalf of Prison Fellowship), and I have YET to pastor a church as I believe God called me to do when I was 11 years old, many moons ago!


      Yes, many pastors are leaving the pastorate - because many of them WENT but were not SENT… unless you are SENT (by Almighty God) you are wasting your time.


      AND, most pastor search committees wouldn’t recognize a SENT minister in the first place.


      So instead of SENT ministers being RECOGNIZED AS SUCH and RECEIVED by the flocks they have been sent to, what we have is a process that has become no more “spiritual” than applying for a Manager Trainee position at Wal-Mart

    9. john Schaaf on Wed, September 07, 2005

      tony, if youh ave become harsh towards your flock, you amy want to ask the question, is it me or them? Then ask the question am I accountable for my attitude or theirs? Your love for them is to be like that of Christ’s, They are not your boss, or anythng else, they are your brothers and sisters, they are yoyur family. The amount that you love them will be in proportion to the amount that you love God. If it is needed and I say this in love, pull back at least for a time, otherwise burnout is just beyojnd the horizon. In Christ’s love, Johnny

    10. Richard on Mon, September 12, 2005

      This is a good article.  I think sometimes we read articles like this and we agree with the points & truths of it, but we become callous to doing anything about it. 


      I pastored 2 churches for a total of 3 1/2 years. 

      It was a great education.  The 2nd church almost destroyed me and my family due to a modern day “Sanballot and friends”.  This person of leadership in the church had a long history of destroying pastors as well as members for years.  The ironic thing was that my wife and I identified this man as a problem before we accepted the position.  However, I learned very quickly that there was a “jezubel” behind him. 


      After the church doubled after being there for 6 months I began putting things into place to make the “leaders accountable”,  They had a history of making decisions without including the congregation or strongarming the people that didn’t agree with them. 

       

      “Sanballot and Jezebel” didn’t like the new plans.  When they figured out the majority of the church was behind us, they secretly went to my former church and stayed in the area for several days and found a couple of disgruntled members there.  They twisted comments as well as making some up and came back to the church and spread their comments throughout the congregation without confronting me about any of their “findings”.


      After getting a call from one of the new members about the situation and confronting one of the “deacons”, they decided they would hold a “meeting” with me and strong arm me to leave so they could have their church back.  They were getting very uncomfortable with it getting too big for them to control. 

       

      After I refuted their charges and told them I would not let them do this to me or my family, i recommended that we take a trip to the former church and get things straightened out.  They agreed to do it, but “Sanballot” said he already had plans for the next several weeks.  I told the “leadership” (i use that word loosely), that this needed to be resolved immediately.  They said they needed to give Sanballot time to work out his schedule to go to the other church. 


      During this entire time for several months I couldn’t sleep or eat and was very miserable. 

       

      I realized though that Satan had unleashed an all-out attack on the ministry that God had allowed me to be a part of. 


      During this time, the stress and toll of this conflict pointed clearly to me that I was not prepared to handle it.  My life was void of a constant prayer or devotion life, even as a Pastor (I worked a full-time secular job to compensate the tight wad’s salary). 


      I had all these feelings of anger, hurt and discouragement.  Surely in modern times there couldn’t be people that called themselves “Christians” that could be so callous, cold and mean. 

       

      During this time I found a lot of comfort from God’s Word as the Holy Spirit showed me example after example of men and women in the Bible that went through a lot of the same things. 


      After figuring out that Sanballot was controlling the situation and the church divided between the 50 or so that was on my side and the 10 to 15 that was against me I decided to get the former Chairman of Deacons at my former church to come up and refute all the charges against me to the congregation. 


      I thought this would open many peoples eyes to the situation and that they would rise up and ask this troublemaker and his wife, along with their little click of 8 to 10 people to move on and leave.


      The “leadership” had already determined to get rid of me one way or another.  They organized a vote of confidence on me. 

       

      There were a lot of similarities between their methods and the Pharisees of Jesus trial.


      I went along with it and God allowed me to get voted back in with about a 75% approval.  The “leadership” disallowed several people that were not voting their way to participate. 


      After the vote was announced Sanballot stood up and said, “I don’t care how the vote turned out, I was here long before you got here, and I will be here when you’re long gone.” 

       

      One of the biggest mistakes that i made was not announcing that there would be a vote that day on the leadership -I.E.- the deacons.  I let a week go by before announcing it and the majority of the folks that were once behind me were tired of the conflict.  They informed me that they were not coming back to the church. 


      After meeting with the “deacons” the majority of them (when I came there was 5 on the board-one that worked ever other Sunday, another that only came an average of 3 sunday mornings a month.  3 of them didn’t believe in visitation.  They thought you had to be called to do that)  told me that they wouldn’t step down even if they were voted out. 

       

      By this time, my wife (8 months pregnant) and children (ages 8 & 3) were being attacked also.  Several of the long tongued women in the church that supported Sanballot cornered my wife and let her have it right in front of my boys. 


      It was one thing to attack me, but don’t mess with my family was my attitude.  I was thinking thoughts that I never thought would cross my mind even before as a lost person. 


      For the next two weeks I came and preached in each service to a very reduced crowd (even though the troublemakers-all 10 to 15 of them were there). 

       

      I felt so discouraged and worn out that I made my wife and kids go to another church in the area for the last two weeks that I was there. 


      I wound up resigning when the leadership announced to their families(they were the only ones that were left due to their confrontations with my supporters) that there would be no vote on themselves for at least one more month. 


      For the next few months I was so bitter, hurt and angry I never wanted to pastor again. I even had a lady that supported me contact a laywer and see what kind of case i had concerning sueing the leadership for defamation, etc.  I truly contemplated suing the leadership.


      Over the next 10 months I went through different degrees of depression having all kinds of thoughts that accompany depression. 


      One of the things that hurt the most was that the people that once supported me so much never called to check and see how my family was handling things.  (we ministers are expected to do that, right?).

       

      Looking back at my experience I said earlier that it was a great education.  For me alot of these 10 points were working against me to help create a bad experience into being an almost devestating experience.


      1.  My prayer life suffered due to a lack of time to do it. 


      I was working too much between my secular job and the church affairs to try and lead a congregation into spiritual battle.


      many times my devotion time only consisted of throwing together something to help the congregation from week to week. 


      2.  Because this tug for my time was going on, naturally you know who always got the short end of the stick concerning my time. 

       

      I was out at all times of the day and night trying to help everyone elses family as mine was at home having their own life without me.  This failure to my family ate at me.


      My experience happened over a year ago and I have only talked to 2 churches about pastoring again.  I’m truly scared to death in one sense of “getting close to the stove to be burnt again”.  I never want to put my family through that experience again.


      It is amazing how many other men that the Holy Spirit has put in my path (out of the blue, right?) that has similar experiences. 

       

      I really miss most of the pastoring, definitely not the types of demon, oops, i mean deacon boards that i have had. 


      I know this is extremely long but I hope my experience will help someone else that might be in the midst of the same type of storm.   I found out that the same God of mercy, hope and healing that I preached about so many times to my congegations had some healing salve for me also.

       

    11. Mike Govey on Sat, October 01, 2005

      You would think that as the business world becomes more computerized that obtaining a pastorate would be simplified too.  But I gather that it has become more complex.  This is especially true for churches and pastoral candidates who do not have a strong denominational support team.  Independence may sound good until you are on the outside looking in.  I feel badly for individuals who feel abandoned by those who might be able to offer “placement” help.  Try this:  find a pastor who has experience, honestly ask if he will advise you and mentor you so as to fulfill your calling.  Then do what he says. (If he recommends schooling, and you recoil at the idea, ask him to explain why).

    12. Gerry on Sat, October 01, 2005

      I have seen many such lists.  The problem with them is that they create unreasonable expectations.  The question is not whether or not I can answer those questions positively- I never can.  The problem is how I deal with the fact that as a pastor I still am an imperfect person.  My people don’t need to know I am perfect.  They need to see how I deal with my brokenness.  I believe a lot of people leave the ministry through a sense of failure based on a standard of perfectionism.

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