The 12 Commandments
- Posted by: Todd
- Posted on: Mon, June 18, 2007
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- (1) comments so far
The English edition opened by congratulating me on being the owner of this very cool cup, a sentiment that I shared, and then offered “a few tips to enhance the enjoyment of your new drinkware with sealing lid.” Drinkware. I love it.
The “tips,” printed in eight-point font, included twelve bulleted items, each an instruction on how to use and maintain my new drink technology. These items tended to cluster around several themes:
Warnings: Such as the dire admonition in bold font never to put carbonated beverages in the mug under any circumstances. So Diet Pepsi is less corrosive than a Venti Gold Coast Blend?
Teachings: Like the brief science lesson on how to equalize the atmospheric pressure inside the mug with the external environment. This one had a kind of NASA feel.
Predictions: The statement that over-filling the mug with extremely hot liquid (uncarbonated, of course) could result in burns. Blast--don’t you hate physics.
Equivocations: Two of the twelve instructions were devoted to the notion that the lid is designed only to “delay most spills” and is “not guaranteed against minor leakage.” Wait…isn’t that what’s going to burn me? And what does the phrase “sealing lid” mean then? Shouldn’t it be “sorta-sealing lid?”
Exercises: I am urged to “grasp the mug firmly around the middle when securing or loosening the lid.” This move provides the aerobic component of the experience, making it holistic.
These under-thought/over-lawyered instructions are an example of what happens when simple things become needlessly complicated. My instructions were translated into Japanese (or English, depending on you point of view), just as sometimes our/my ministry leadership is translated into something else:
Preaching: A sermon on, “Love one another” (2 John 1:5), becomes a 60-minute, 10-point exercise in exegetical forensics, offering an autopsy of scripture rather than helping me hear God’s heart in a way that transforms mine.
Organizations: “Let us not give up meeting together” (Heb. 10:25) takes the form of the stack of glossy paperwork one pastor hands out every Sunday morning in a forest-killing display of program promotion.
Leadership: “Be shepherds of God’s flock” (1 Peter 5:1) somehow comes to mean that Jesus’ only mistake was not studying at the Harvard Business School.
Discipleship: “Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” (2 Peter 3:18) morphs into a baptized version of the public school system and/or the corporate training seminar.
Worship: “Praise the Lord, O my soul” (Psalm 103:1) is a condition that obtains only when the church is using the style of music I personally prefer on Sunday morning—because that’s what it’s about—what I prefer.
After reading the twelve commandments, I wanted to shout, “It’s a mug! It’s a mug! It’s a mug!” But no one from Starbucks was there to listen.
When I described this blog to my friend Don (who lives near Seattle), he responded by saying something like, “Starbucks doesn’t listen to that kind of thing.” “That’s their problem,” I replied. Maybe it’s ours/mine, too.
About the Author: Earl Creps has spent several years visiting congregations that are attempting to engage emerging culture. He directs doctoral studies for the Assemblies of God Theological Seminary in Springfield, Missouri (http://www.agts.edu). Earl and his wife Janet have pastored three churches, one Boomer, one Builder, and one GenX. He speaks, trains, and consults with ministries around the country. Earl’s book, Off-Road Disciplines: Spiritual Adventures of Missional Leaders, was published by Jossey-Bass/Leadership Network in 2006. Connect with Earl at http://www.earlcreps.com .
Eventually, I am going to write on something other than Starbucks—I promise. Last week a small box arrived at my seminary office from a church planting ministry in Asia. I was delighted to find a beautiful Starbucks travel mug inside decorated in a Japanese style. This ministry is so thoughtful that they sent us a gift before ever meeting us in person. Needless to say, I am very impressed with them. I am less impressed with Starbucks. The mug was a knock-out: thermoplastic body, gorgeous Japanese art behind the clear plastic shell, ergonomic shape, non-slip rubber base, sixteen ounce capacity, and a clever stopper to keep the coffee off my shirt. Then I unscrewed the lid. Inside were two, three-by-five inch pieces of white paper, one in English and the other in Japanese. Each was a version of the instructions for the mug...
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Peter Hamm on Mon, June 18, 2007
Isn’t it convenient that the “solution” to the problem of the over-comsumerized church is real authentic biblical community, and isn’t it convenient that that is the kind of “solution” that people are looking for in this 21st century?
This is a great time to be alive and working in the church!
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