What’s Your Biggest Church Horror Story?
- Posted by: Todd
- Posted on: Wed, May 06, 2009
- Viewed 104
- (17) comments so far
Seriously… what’s your story? Have you worked for an abusive pastor or church? Have you or a colleague suffered moral failure and tried to cover it up? Have you seen people abused at the hands of the church. Has something ever happened that made you want to run away and hide?
I want to hear your story. What I found is that by talking, (or writing in this case), it does help resolve some of the feelings; and it does help you to realize that you are not unique. The church, at its very best, is heaven-like; at it’s very worst produces smoke that has to be just like the pit of hell.
So… if you feel lead… share your story. And feel free to do so anonymously. Use a fake name and email address on this one if need be. It’s ok.
Here's the publisher's summary of this new book by Dr. Margaret Jones entitled: "Not of My Making: Bullying, Scapegoating and Misconduct in Mainline Churches":
Coming from a childhood marred by abuse and neglect, Margaret Jones sought comfort and safety in a community of faith. When conflict erupted within her congregation, clergy diverted attention away from their own mistakes by calling into question her emotional and mental stability. Accused of being the problem she was pushed out of church nearly shattering her faith, her life and her marriage. This is the story of one woman’s courageous struggle to recover from spiritual abuse and find justice for herself and her family.
Unfortunately, it is not a problem in just mainline churches. I recently had a conversation with a friend in which we both shared our church horror stories. They are the things that soap operas are made of. (Actually, you couldn't put some of these stories on TV). And the more and more I talk with people in ministry, we all have our horror story of how we or someone close to use was screwed over by the church. I'm wondering... what's yours...
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Pastor Troy Rininger on Sat, May 23, 2009
The church I pastored in MI. had more horrendous incidents than imagineable. One example I recall concerned a scarry man in the church who believed he was “God’s pure voice in the church” he would often be waiting for me after church, or on the front porch of my home to confront me. Unfortunately, he also taught the adult Sunday School class and used that time to propote his warped agenda. I did not realize it but he was taping our personal conversations, doctoring them up and playing them back to anyone who would listen.
D.L. on Wed, October 21, 2009
My story is simple. My wife and I attended and were involved in leadership for several years. Our life and our friends werre all centered in and around the Church. When I agreed to take an assignment at work, that would have me traveling during the week, the former Moderator, now Worship Leader Chair and super active Church leader started having worship meetings at the church with my wife. Soon they were having an affair in and outside of the church. As former moderator, he was the leader of the search committee just the previous year, calling a pastor that was kinds week in the Leadership area. Turns out, his plan was in part to bring this younger pastor in so he could sorta run things his way. As he was making huge changes to a once conservate older congregation, the church was poised for a split. Just as he got scared that he would be caught by me, he tells a huge lie that he was run out by the other side and plays the role of a victim. Turns out he was talling my wife that the pastor would be fired as the pastor and this power hungry creep were on the one side of the split. He was right about the fact that when it got out, the Pastor wuld have to leave. When I found out, my father (also a pastor) told me, talk to your pastor, its what people do when they are in crisis. Turns out, my pastor already knew, but continued to protect the other guy, and did nothing for me. When that came out, the people had enough with this pastor that would hide sin in the Church. We later found out, other women had been sexually harassed and sexually assaulted, “fondled” by this creep that took to seducing my wife when I was away. He played the role of “Christian Friend and helper” and had his teenage daughter and wife both watch my kids for my wife, while I was out of town, and he and my wife were “doing Worship Team work”. Our denomination is a better known one, and our “state” and/or “regional” ministers saw only the need to move that pastor to another region, so as to not have to deal with that Pastor again. Be careful as that guy is super involved in leadership at another church and seems to have lots of friendships with young adult families with kids. He’s a Chruch predator and likes younger married women.
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