Why Aren’t Your People Inviting Other People to Attend Your Church?
- Posted by: Todd
- Posted on: Wed, January 30, 2008
- Viewed 103
- (17) comments so far
David continues:
You take an average person who goes to a great concert; it’s very easy for that person to invite someone to the next one. He went and had a great experience. He was moved, he was touched, it was a great value, and it was worth the time and the effort. He knows that his friend is going to benefit from it and he’s going to thank him afterward. So he invites him enthusiastically. They make the date, they plan, they spend the money, they anticipate. We’re really good at inviting people to places that we love going and knowing there’s a benefit at the end.
So at the end of the day, maybe what you should be more focused on is helping your people love to come and to understand the benefit that others may have who come after them. Maybe people aren’t inviting people to your church because they aren’t that enthusiastic about it either.
Read more here at DavidFoster.tv...
David posts a good question: Why don’t people in your church invite people to your church? Is it as simple as David’s answer? What do you think?
David Foster writes, "Why do the people attending your church not invite other people to come to the experience? They come. They’re faithful. They give and support, but they don’t invite other people. If people in your church are not inviting people, they are not inviting people on purpose. We think they are intimidated, but they are not. They know very well how to invite people to great stuff. They do it all the time..."
Comments
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Mark on Wed, January 30, 2008
Its pretty simple. If people love being there then they will invite others to share that experience. If they are only there because they feel the have to be there even though they hate being there then it makes no sense at all to invite others.
deaubry on Wed, January 30, 2008
maybe it,s to hun drum and do not want to bore other people, or no one wants to invite anyone to a troubled church, or they are just plain lazy, if the works of god is going on in a church you could not keep people away. there would be standing room only. hey no power no people, if it is just a form of godleness but they are denying the power ther of , what do you really expect. if a church is full you can believe the works of god is going on or they are making a lot of people feel good about how they live,
Randy Ehle on Wed, January 30, 2008
For starters, I generally won’t invite someone if I know they’re already attending another church; the main exception would be if I know they have a particular need that isn’t being addressed there and is likely to be (better) addressed at a different church.
If I’m going to invite someone to church, I want to be sure that is the right “next step” for them; I don’t want to give the impression that the church will meet their needs, but rather that it is a relationship with God that is ultimately needed. Relationships with His people are vitally important, but secondary nonetheless.
Final point: we should never be afraid to invite someone to a church other than ours. My church may not be the best fit for Joe, but if he needs to plug in somewhere, I want to be able to refer him to another church that will be a better fit. That means I need to do some homework about other churches in the area.
Nathaniel Scott on Wed, January 30, 2008
wow..2 seconds before i read this post, i actually invited someone to church (possibly the first time in a looong time) i was excited to do it, almost didn’t, but then knew it was for the best.
i know i used to be embarrassed of the church i attended…i don’t attend there anymore. but still, i wasn’t right in being embarrassed—the gospel is always up to any challenge.
now i’m usually just intimidated by other people…but working to get over that
Daniel on Wed, January 30, 2008
Part of this is of course laziness, or church irrelevance. But let me question the analogy of the concert a little bit. Whether or not outsiders are invited to ‘church’ is a function of what we think the Sunday service is. If it’s primarily an ‘event’, then yes, properly orchestrated, it should cause members to invite others.
But if it is primarily a gathering of believers, the fact that non-believers aren’t systematically invited may be a sign of health. We don’t invite nonbelievers to take communion, because it presupposes the appropriate response to God’s invitation to become a part of his people has already been taken (viz. baptism).
It’s of course possible that ‘church’ is a little bit of both (event AND gathering of believers), but lack of clarity on this point will mean regular attenders will be wary of inviting outsiders.
I also want to suggest that if church services are taken to be the gathering of believers, then ‘outreach’ needs to happen in a different manner. I’ll let you imagine just what that might look like…
My two cents.
-Daniel-
Jermayn Parker on Wed, January 30, 2008
ashamed would be the biggest issue!!
Stewart on Wed, January 30, 2008
I’m a little late on this one but I have a couple of thoughts. First, I think David’s point about people not inviting friends because they aren’t that enthusiastic about it themselves is true more than we’d like to admit.
My second thought is that those who are enthusiastic about it realize that what is attractive to them (often for sentimental reasons) would not be attractive to their friends. This is one reason why those of us who are part of churches need to lobby not only for things WE like in worship, but also for worship that “we think” our friends would like.
I know one rejoinder to that statement would be why not actually ask our friends what they would like rather than us projecting our thoughts onto them. It’s a good question. But if the goal is to get US to invite THEM then what’s really important is having something WE THINK they would like. So we are motivated to do the asking.
Additionally, we could pray. I’ve found the more I pray and ask God to guide me to people who need to be invited, the more often those opportunities just fall into my lap. http://www.mondaymorninginsight.com/images/smileys/smile.gif
Eric Joppa on Thu, January 31, 2008
Stewart,
I agree with you. Not to be too cynical, but I think churches that lack excellence in their services tend to make excuses more than adjustments. Too often when something is called less than great, the accusation is attacked rather than heard and examined.
I don’t think that every critique needs to be taken to heart, but if it is coming from an involved, invested, and committed individual, than it needs to be prodded for more detail. If more churches did this, there would be a better dialogue on how to be more effective and visitor friendly at our services, and more effective at making an impact spiritually when people are there.
Jan on Sat, February 02, 2008
The people we used to have that didn’t invite had very lame excuses. The lamest was “I don’t know a non Christian”.
I think they had compartmentalized their lives. They had a church life and a weekly life that didn’t include church. Never the twain to meet. And they didn’t even include fellow believers in that other life. They weren’t just not enthusiastic. They were barely breathing and lukewarm.
Now we have brand new believers or non believers who are inviting their friends right and left. I think because they know they are not just welcome but embraced. They are finding community, transparent leadership, and they are finding truth that is relevant to life change. Those things breed enthusiasm.
We haven’t just doubled in the last few months, we’ve tripled. It’s an awesome place to be http://www.mondaymorninginsight.com/images/smileys/smile.gif
Phil DiLernia on Mon, February 04, 2008
I am in my first pastorate and came to a church, 19 months ago, that was stuggling with over 30 years of steady decline and was on, as one elder put it, “life support” and ready to die. We had 230-250 people.
Within 4 months many people were excited about inviting others, not to church but to a new relationship with Jesus Christ, and getting a fresh start. What do you know ... it worked! Within 3-4 months we had an additional 70-100 new people each week at church.
But then those who refused to make the changes necessary over the past 3 decades began to cause much trouble, spread rumors, stop giving in open protest, drop ministries, leave the church when that didn’t work, and finally pull others (many of their long time friends and FAMILY) with them!
We’re now back to about where we were when I got here but the giving is way down. The community we’re located in has turned from middle class to lower-middle class and poor over the past 20 years.
So what do we do now? Inviting others worked and still works. Now we’re going to move forward, in faith, and wait on God’s continued blessings (He has already blessed us with 50 new salvations, rededicated lives, and older believers who feel that for the first time in many years if not their entire lives they are experiencing church the way God purposed them to.)
We must always invited others to get to know our Savior! That is one of the two reasons from ministry (the other being to assist others in their growth to be more like our Savior!)
Any suggestions for our church from my co-horts here would be greatly appreciated!!! If there is none - your prayers are appreciated.
Paul on Mon, February 04, 2008
>>if [church services are] primarily a gathering of believers, the fact that non-believers aren’t systematically invited may be a sign of health.
IMO, that’s the problem with a lot of churches today. Their services are geared towards believers to the EXCLUSION of unbelievers. I can’t imagine how that could be considered “healthy.”
kevin d. on Mon, February 04, 2008
i will probably get some grief for this comment, but one of the things that often makes it difficult to invite friends to church is the quality of music that is presented… for me, bad music is embarrassing is all…
more often than not, the bad music comes as a result of a worship team (aka “a worship band”) trying to present music that is beyond its level of expertise… if i, as a regular attendee, feel “on edge” or nervous because i am just not sure what sounds will emanate from the singers or instrumentalists who are leading me, i just have second thoughts before i would subject my unchurched friends to the same… “special music” can be even worse, but we don’t have to go there just now…
that being said, having myself been involved in leading worship and presenting music, without intending to, i may have become overly critical or overly analytical… i recognize that (including myself) every worshiper brings his/her own attitude to the service, and that attitude affects how the worshiper feels about the experience…
additionally, i would say that about 50-60 % of worshipers don’t even notice “bad music”, so for them, it is a non-issue…
all in all, it seems to me that worship music “style” is less important to many participants than the “quality”… (what i mean by that is that although i prefer modern or contemporary worship music, i personally would choose old hymns “done well”, over contemporary music “done mediocrely”)…
if worship teams and bands would stick to what they are able to do well, i personally would find it easier to invite unchurched friends to the service…
Jim on Mon, February 04, 2008
The people in our Churches know they ought to be active in the Great Commission, yet allot of them think that is is the Pastor’s sole responsibility, and they will not invite anyone even after they nodd their heads in agreement during a sermon on reaching your neighbor. Many congregations are very apathetic and stiffnecked.
Jan on Wed, February 06, 2008
Phil, it sounds obvious, but prayer is the key.
We were in the same situation, and are now just coming out of it, after the last dissenter left in April of 07.
I attribute it to 4 years of prayer for the healing of this church. We’ve tried everything. And yeah, change is good and necessary.
But ulitmately it’s the Holy Spirit and His work and our response that is the key. And God moves when His people pray.
I can remember when I began praying for the healing of our members. One woman, who was the first real pain and who left first (after the letter writing campaign, anybody got one of those?)
She kept saying “I don’t need help!” The funny thing was that no one told her she did. But I was praying for her everyday, and I believe God was telling her she did.
Anyway, email me if you want to chat or even talk to my husband. You are on a rough road!
Jan
Jan on Wed, February 06, 2008
One more suggestion Phil… Read Reiner’s “Break Out Churches”
We have found it to be 100% right on.
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