Why Do Pastors Leave the Ministry?
- Posted by: Todd
- Posted on: Tue, April 19, 2005
- Viewed 165
- (93) comments so far
pastors tend to build up that insecurity the longer they work. they feel the pressure to put numbers on the role, they also realize that people leave the church because of them. that is a heady responsibility to bear. they understand that people don't like them but it still hurts when they have people they have invested in leave the church because of them. this life can be an exercise in guilty and humility. everything that happens which is good is "to god be the glory" ...they know who is to blame if things go bad. add to this that for some reason many churches rise and fall on the health and exuberance of their pastor. after a while pastors tend to jump from one quick fix solution to another in a desperate bid to patch holes that are systemic and often metaphysical. they attend conferences and clinics designed to point out their flaws and obvious solutions. they quickly conclude that they are the problem, the issue, and the solution. they develop a messiah complex. they develop an insecurity complex?
ministers are normal people who struggle with laziness and workaholism at the same time. no one knows what they do during the week so they tend to strive too hard to be noticed or duck out when they can get away with it. they realize that some volunteers do more than they do and it drives them crazy. they vassalate between the drive to do everything and the need to let others do the work of the church. they are control freaks, often out of necessity. sometimes out of ego need.
oh ya, and we love to be compared. compared to huge churches with massive budgets and incredible bands. compared to tv evangelists who spend more on dog food than we will see in a year. compared to amazing speakers, incredible entrepeneurs, and holy monkish nerds who can pray more than we can. that kind of stuff makes us very content.
ya this is a whine but it's my blog and you don't have to read it. perhaps, though, there may be a grain of truth in what you have read. take a look at your pastor if you have one. listen to his or her brokenness strewn in amongst the exterior confidence. let them know you don't need anything from them. shut up about them when others encourage you to spill. tell someone else to shut up occasionally. don't phone them on mondays. don't critique the way they dress when they go to the bank on their day off. don't act amazed when they stumble. we all stumble.
but for God's sake, don't feel sorry for them. they chose this life and it has incredible rewards. just pay them more.
and oh ya, they won't believe you when you praise them but they will obsess when you criticize them. sounds like quite a great life huh? makes you want to join right up i bet...
as for me, i'm just taking a break to get out of the fishbowl for a while. it's a calling - a blessing and a curse. of course now i have to get a real job where people have to get up every morning and put in 8 hours and pretend to care about stuff i never imagined caring about before."
What are your thoughts?
Scott Williams is a pastor who is no longer pastoring. Recently on his blog, he wrote an essay on leaving the ministry below is a sampling of what he wrote? “many people have asked me why i am stepping out of pastoring, at least for a while. there has been a great deal of conjecture on my behalf. some think it has a subversive twist to it. others imagine that i am absolutely distraught with life and cannot cope anymore. neither extreme really addresses the central issues i have faced. here are a few of the reasons why some of us tend to fade away…
Comments
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Pastor Al on Tue, April 19, 2005
Wow, has he been reading my diary?
Jim Walton on Tue, April 19, 2005
Is his blog down or is there an error in the link to his blog? When I click the link in the post, there is no site there. I loved the excerpt and would love to read more from him first hand.
LD on Tue, April 19, 2005
I wish more people would have access to the book, “Shoulder to Shoulder , Strengthening Your Church by Supporting Your Pastor”,by Dan Reiland. I know some churches have classes for people before they join the church in order for them to understand the basic tenets of faith. Perhaps they could add this to their list of recommended reading so people would understand and be able to be supportive of their pastors. So many people love their pastors and appreciate what they have done and are doing, don’t let a few misguided souls keep you from helping those who really need you.You are the Lord’s beloved and He will take care of and reward those who are faithful.God bless you!
Todd Rhoades on Tue, April 19, 2005
I checked the URL… it is correct… his website must be down temporarily.
Todd
Jade on Tue, April 19, 2005
“For it seems to me that God has put us apostles on display at the end of the procession, like men condemned to die in the arena. We have been made a spectacle to the whole universe, to angels as well as to men. We are fool for Christ,...” 1 Cor. 4:9-10
I feel like this sometimes as well, but what an honor to serve the Lord and His people. I would have it no other way, so I suppose I will remain a fool.
Steve M on Tue, April 19, 2005
I have thought of leaving, but not for the reasons stated by Scott. Every pastor is tempted by greener pastures. Criticism comes with the territory. Any time you stick your head above the crowd you are an easy target. You will find the politicking in the secular office more irritating because it is not defined by any principles. Learn to deal with it and love your people and they cannot help but reciprocate.
I have pastored the same church for 23 years and our people love me and do many things to show their appreciation. I have it too good to leave…but think they might benefit from new blood…
Dave on Tue, April 19, 2005
Much of what Scott says is realistic. I’ve been in the ministry for almost 37 years. There are days when I walk to my car, and I say, “It doesn’t get any better than this.” Then there are days I am counting toward my retirement. My guess is that people in just about every profession have their good days and their bad days. Over all, I can’t believe that God would choose me (out of the billions of people on the earth) to lead people to love and serve Him.
Dusty on Tue, April 19, 2005
I don’t even know where to begin. I hear the pain, and understand it personally. I left because I couldn’t please anyone anymore without dealing with the pain of my past. I am taking time away to heal. No where is it more true than in the church that we shoot our wounded. It is ok to put on the face and be brave and strong, to not have family difficulties, and to look like there is nothing going on in life that would be considered to be sin. A church member falls, we as pastors do everything we can tohelp that person. We search for jobs, take meals, find money, pray and counsel. But, let a pastor fall, and it turns into a feeding frenzy, the pastor being the bait for the congregation.
It is time for the church to wake up, and to get honest.
Keith Page on Tue, April 19, 2005
Thanks for the honesty and for sharing your heart in a personal, thoughtful way. I retired from ministry at age 37 after planting a church, watching it grow to 2,000+ adults in four years, and then blowing out my life due to a moral failure.
And then God did the unthinkable. He restored my wife and family, gave me the stength to walk through a two year restoration process that ended in a new ‘fit for ministry’ declaration, and yet didn’t put me back into a role at a church.
He did put into a my life a number of men that are daring to the impossible. These are men who are leaving (or being fired from) ministry roles at churches and are having to find creative ways to financially provide for their families.
We are beginning to really walk together around the Person of Jesus and simply love one another. We are also beginning to invest our lives into a few men that Jesus has brought into our lives and doing the same thing with them. We call it an Acts 29 experience - watching Jesus at work in the lives of His people.
And the best part - we’re not down on the church. We love the church - she’s the bride. We love her people. We feel called to bless and strengthen her people. Problem is, there are many of her people that often don’t go to ‘church’ on the weekend anymore because they’re hungry for something real, vulnerable, and transforming. And that doesn’t happen for the most part at ‘church’. It happens as Jesus gets hold of our lives and teaches us to really love Him and love one another.
So we all still go to ‘church’ on Sundays, but we use it as a time to orbit and pray that God will bring us to others who are hungry to be agents of change in our world. And we begin to teach and equip people to really walk with Jesus daily, walk with a few others in their life, and then to trust and wait on Jesus for direction and instructions on how to minister in His Name each day.
I’m having more fun than I’ve had in a long time. I’m not called pastor anymore, but I minister more effectively than maybe ever before.
God’s not done with you as you move from being a pastor, maybe He’s apprehending you in a fresh new way. Enjoy the ride….
Dave on Tue, April 19, 2005
Dude-
Thanks for being real…after being in and out of fulltime church ministry over the last 20+ years…the words you use to describe the tension is so true.
From experience, one really never looses one’s calling or passion…they may just find another forum to express it (it is amazing how God encourages the gifts HE gives us…no matter where you land or choose to land)
Keep the fire for God burning
dave
Bo Lange on Tue, April 19, 2005
Thank you for posting the blogger from Scott Williams. That is pretty much how I feel.
After 30 years of pastoring mainline churches I gave it up last July. I have served non-evangelical churches and was just tired of the continous progressive theology of the superiors and the institution of religion.
I love the Lord and am willing to come back serving a more traditional evangelical church. I am a good pastor and a good preacher. The last congregation where I served grew almost 200 in 6 years during my time there, but then I left and a more liberal pastor came and the spiritual growth that developed during those six years seemingly went down the drain.
God bless you for you service!
Bo L. Lange
Escanaba. Michigan
ken on Tue, April 19, 2005
I left the ministry a couple of years ago because of a moral failure. I never really understood the stress that I was under until I left. It was amazing. I love the church and miss the full time ministry. I just wish people were a little kinder and a little more supportive. I have often thought about the book “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. He says that we speak and receive love in 5 ways - 1. Words of affirmation; quality time; acts of service; physical touch; and giving gifts. I think is true of the church with theri preacher. However, to often the church never proclaims love for the preacher…
Matt on Tue, April 19, 2005
Man, this is what the church needs. . . transparency and authenticity. Thanks for both because they are refreshing to me. I haven’t decided if it’s a good idea or not for my church to see and deal with my brokenness—but I make sure they understand that it’s there. It’s the only way I know how to be. The duality of the fishbowl is too hard for me to live with otherwise.
Jerry on Tue, April 19, 2005
yes, Scott’s musings are all too real. Not close to home, but home. I struggle with the churches I serve not putting their faith in Jesus, and instead in Jerry. So much of my 20 years of ministry seems to have been for naught, even though showered with platitudes. Out? You bet, God just give me a way to care for my family. Making the invisible mystery’s of God real for the flock on a continual basis is my challenge.
Larry on Tue, April 19, 2005
When I left full-time ministry and took full-time secular employment, my interviewer was a fine Christian man who asked me why I had left the church to get an MBA. I told him, “I guess I expected people to act their best at church, when in fact most of them acted their worst.”
They said things there they dared not say to their boss, spouse, parents, or children, and acted too often like immature children. I felt like a paid punching bag. I realized I could probably be more effective and happier as an involved layman than I could be as a minister. And it certianly did away with my stomach problems. In the end, I was right. I have been a happy and active churchman on the other side of the pulpit. Only in the last few years have I gone back to part-time ministry and I’m enjoying it completely. But I can walk away at any moment—it’s not my livelihood. It gives me a freedom to do and say exactly what I think is right and if any one individual doesn’t like it…too bad. Maybe that’s the whole problem in a nutshell. Too many pastors feel tongue-tied by the fear of losing their job, so they can’t bring themselves to call people on the carpet for how they speak and act.
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