MondayMorningInsight - Leadership & Encouragement for Church Leaders

Would Your Church Host a Gay Funeral?

Posted by: Todd
Posted on: Mon, August 13, 2007
Viewed 235
(96) comments so far

Here’s part of the original Dallas News story about the incident:

An Arlington church volunteered to host a funeral Thursday, then reneged on the invitation when it became clear the dead man’s homosexuality would be identified in the service.
The event placed High Point Church in the cross hairs of an issue many conservative Christian organizations are discussing: how to take a hard-line theological position on homosexuality while showing compassion toward gay people and their families.

But the dispute between High Point Church and the friends and family of Cecil Sinclair has left confusion and hard feelings on both sides.

Mr. Sinclair, 46, died Monday. He was a native of Fort Worth, a Navy veteran who served in Desert Storm helping rescuers find downed pilots, and a singer in the Turtle Creek Chorale, said his mother, Eva Bowers. He did not belong to a church.

His brother, Lee, is an employee and member of High Point, a nondenominational mega-congregation led by the Rev. Gary Simons. Mr. Simons is the brother-in-law of Joel Osteen, nationally known pastor of Houston’s Lakewood Church.

When Cecil Sinclair became ill with a heart condition six years ago, church members started praying for him out of love for his brother, Mr. Simons said Thursday. And when Mr. Sinclair died of an infection, a side effect of surgery intended to keep him alive long enough for a heart transplant, a member of the church staff was immediately sent to minister to the family, he said.

Both the family and church officials agree that the church volunteered to host a memorial service, feed 100 guests and create a multimedia presentation of photos from Mr. Sinclair’s life.

But the photos that the family selected alerted church officials that there might be a problem with the service, Mr. Simons said.

More here...

Here is part of what Pastor Gary Simmons had to say to the church yesterday:

High Point Church regrets the unfortunate situation regarding the memorial service for Mr. Cecil Sinclair. Mr. Sinclair was not a member of High Point Church, neither was any one in his family, except for Lee Sinclair, who is employed by the church. Lee requested for the church pray for his brother when he became ill. The church prayed for Mr. Sinclair both enthusiastically and faithfully. Lee called one of our ministers to inform him that his brother was in the hospital in critical condition.
When the High Point minister arrived at the hospital, Mr. Sinclair has already passed. The church minister reached out to the family and tried to comfort them the best that he could. The church did offer the family, free of charge, the use of this facility for the memorial service. It was not disclosed at this time that the deceased was homosexual or that the family desired an openly homosexual memorial service.

The family requested that the church produce a video of Mr. Sinclair’s life for the memorial service. When the photos were presented to the church, there were some inappropriate images that alerted the church to the homosexuality of Mr. Sinclair. The family requested an associate of the Turtle Creek Chorale, an openly homosexual choir, to officiate the service and for the choir to sing.

They also requested an open microphone format to allow anyone in attendance to speak. High Point Church ministers would not be allowed to direct the service, or to have control over what was said or emphasized. It appeared to the church staff that the family was requesting an openly homosexual service at High Point Church, which is not our policy to allow. [applause.]

FOR DISCUSSION: How would you have handled this situation? Do you agree with High Point’s assessment and actions?

There has been much press during the past week about High Point Church offering to host a funeral for a man outside their church who had just died. Evidently, they offered their facility to the family of the deceased veteran for free; then discovered he was an open homosexual. The church then retracted their offer to the family, saying they could not host the funeral. Much has been written about the situation, and today you can read some additional response from the High Point pastor...

Comments

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Leonard on Fri, August 17, 2007

I have also and in each one there were strong overtones of homosexuality. Each one people spoke of the courage it took to live out a lifestyle that brought on discrimination.

The openly heterosexual service comment shows the aberration of the homosexual lifestyle since there is no need to make normative a heterosexual lifestyle. No offense Jimmy, but it would seem to me you are trying really hard to make a point that is lost on me. I am in full agreement we should be gracious and we should be filled with love and compassion. I have no trouble associating with people who do not know Christ and honestly for the most part, I almost prefer it. I actively share Christ with people and still live by lines drawn in scripture.

If you read carefully the post it was an all gay choir who is known more for its orientation than its music. It was a homosexual choir member who was to officiate the service. It was a video with pictures that crossed a line. This man was homosexual, lived that lifestyle, trafficked in that community to the degree he was a part of the openly all gay choir.

It was not as if the church said, lets do an investigation into this man and determine his worthiness of our facility. This was information brought by the family. This church also did not say, “hey, you are a stinking gay sinner, we can’t have anything to do with you.” They said, we have some convictions we believe are bible based. Our people have convictions they believe are bible based. We cannot let the service you have planned happen here but we will pay for a facility in which you may honor your loved one. We will provide food for all the guests…not just the heterosexual guests… and we will produce the video for you as well.

In an earlier post you said that you would rather err on the side of grace. Why, it is still an error? We cannot afford to err on either side if we are going to win people to Christ.

I add this one point; The senior pastor of the church has much more to consider in this that one family who is grieving. It could be the family who has just taken a stand against immorality in their home and needs to see the church as consistent with that stand. It could be the person who has struggled with homosexual activity in their past or even present who needs a church to show both grace and truth. Whoever it is, the senior pastor must take into account the whole church not just a grieving family. He must make difficult decisions that often do not afford much time to deliberate the pros and cons. In this moment he simply said, the service you have presented to us is outside our ability to endorse but you are not. Let us help in other ways.
jimmy on Fri, August 17, 2007

The family said they would have been willing to compromise in order to hold the service at the church. Cecil’s mother said, “We could have reached a compromise,” “That was never attempted.” After the fact, the church admitted that there was actually only one picture with “disturbing homosexual images” on it. The rest are boring family snapshots. Turns out this one picture in question is of Cecil with his brother. The picture looks to me like several pictures my brother and I have posed for where we would mischievously try to hit each other in a certain painful spot in order to get a picture with your brother doubled over in pain. The church had the opportunity to diffuse the tension between the church and the homosexual community but instead added fuel to the fire. Of course they are going to say “he had courage to live under discrimination.” From their viewpoint he was even discriminated against during the planning of his service.

If you want to see the pictures yourself and some reporting from a reporter who has first hand knowledge head over to:

http://religion.beloblog.com/archives/2007/08/the_photos_the_family_gave_to.html
Danny Daniels on Sat, August 18, 2007

Leonard:

You are long suffering and patient. Your graciousness is impressive. I admire your efforts on these boards.

Be blessed.

-Danny
Leonard on Sat, August 18, 2007

Thanks Danny,

This conversation is important because those who have commented that they believe the pastor and church erred are right in at least one point. The church is not doing what it can do to reach a segment of society that is hurting and needs the Grace and truth of Jesus.

While I feel as though this particular church was well within the bounds of both grace and truth, most churches I know are not. I feel as though some of the responses here are really not about this church but in reaction to the church in general. I find it funny that here we have a church doing the best it can and still live in the “whatever is not of faith is sin” tension and in doing so it goes far beyond the pale of most churches and yet it cannot be given the benefit of the doubt, only the doubt.

Homosexuality is not just some private matter existing in our world today. It has huge social ramifications, it has economic ramifications, it influences parenting and the raising of children and much more. The church is woefully under-ready to deal with these issues, yet has the answer for the soul and life of every person.

The insistence of the homosexual movement that Christians are bigots and hate mongers is partly earned but only partly. Many homosexuals I know consider my opinion about the sinfulness of homosexuality hate. The numbing of our youth to this matter is of great concern. I know many teens who feel that disagreement on this matter is hate. The sexual experimentation of your youth is also changing and one reason is the proliferation of the message that Gay is just an alternative lifestyle rather that sinful behavior. I have spoken to dozens of teens who have begun experimenting with same sex sexual experiences while boldly declaring, “were not gay, we are just curious.”

The ramifications to this are huge, especially as more and more of these young people try to navigate the confusion of adolescence without much help from parents. I am also aware of many gay and lesbian people that actively recruit people during this season of life. Examine the overwhelming number of people who are gay or lesbian that have come from homes that are toxic, experienced sexual abuse and have dad’s that were much less than any dad should be and you have a huge recipe for disaster.

So to Jimmy, and others I want to say thanks for not letting this go. I do not feel you are right in this matter but you are right on in pushing the church to do better. I encourage you to offer the same grace you are willing to give a homosexual to those who are not where you are in this matter. I caution you to not let revisionist theology shape your thinking in this matter because you realize you do not have to alter the standard to show grace or compensate for the churches slowness to respond in grace. (we have been very quick to respond in truth)
jimmy on Sat, August 18, 2007

Well said Leonard. I appreciate your input and I’ve enjoyed our conversation.
Peter Hamm on Sun, August 19, 2007

But wait a minute…

We only got to 95 comments (96 including this one…)

We can do better, people!