Young Pastors and Stress
- Posted by: Todd
- Posted on: Wed, November 02, 2005
- Viewed 147
- (6) comments so far
And, you know, the responses were interesting... everything from young pastors expressing their heartfelt reasons for leaving the ministry; to others who told the young bucks to suck it up and live the life of a martyr in ministry. But as I was thinking this morning... if so many young pastors are really struggling, maybe this post on how to handle the stress of the ministry might not be a bad thing to start the day with. This comes from Pastor Tim Woody... he shares some thoughts and comments that rose out of his staff retreat recently on the subject of stress in the ministry. Perhaps this can help some young pastors today that are ready to throw in the towel. It might not help change your circumstances, but it might help you to better deal with them. (I bet it can be of help to older, seasoned pastors who deal with stress as well!) Here goes... Tim writes:
A couple of weeks ago, during our annual staff pastor's calendar planning day, we were all gathered around the lunch table, chatting with one another. One of the guys casually brought up the topic of stress. Seizing an opportunity to have a spontaneous and rewarding interaction, I asked him what he was intentionally doing to deal with stress. I then carried it to the next level by asking each staff pastor to describe how he was keeping his life in balance.
The ensuing conversation about stress management was interesting and revealing. Since we have a rather open and honest group of staff pastors, the answers varied from one extreme to the other. Here is a sampling of some of the responses that I recall from that exchange:
- eating right
- walking each day
- nothing
- working out
- really taking a day off each week
- using vacation time and personal days
- hobbies
- prayer
- worship
- spending time with family
- spending time alone
We all candidly revealed the ongoing tension of ministry and family, with their related stress factors. The truth is that we all would go crazy if it we tried to meet every need in the ministry and still attempted to hold our families together. We agreed that the stress of ministry work can be horribly destructive, if we allow it to.
Now, I'm not saying that all stress is bad. In fact, as one staff pastor said, "we need stress to stay alive," and that's very true. For example, a rubber band is of no value unless it is stretched. The stress on the rubber band allows it to fulfill its function, and it works the same with us. If we're not under a fair amount of stress, we become weak, blunt, and ineffective. In fact, if our churches are not under a fair amount of stress, the same occurs.
The problem for most pastors, though, is not too little stress, but too MUCH stress. Naturally there will be peaks a valleys with stress, but if you are constantly exceeding a healthy level of stress, honestly consider the following challenging thoughts:
1. Do you feel that the ministry revolves around you?
If you do, you're hurting yourself, because the ministry must revolve around God.
2. Do you feel that you need to be omni-competent, meeting all of the various needs and expectations of the people?
If so, you are taking the place of God.
3. Are you taking a weekly sabbath? (Not Sunday...that's a day of work!)
If not, you're violating a command of God.
4. Is your family life healthy and do your family members feel secure?
If not, you're probably giving too much to the ministry and too little to your family.
5. Are you really eating a balanced diet and are you exercising 3-4 times a week?
If not, think about correcting it before you preach another message on how your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.
How can I speak so strongly on these five issues? It's because I've made excuses for myself and have broken all five of these...sometimes for several years at a time. AND I paid for it dearly.
I want to be here to see my grandchildren and even my great-grandchildren. I want to retire and live near a Texas beach someday. I don't want to face an early grave due to my inability to manage myself and then spiritualize it be calling it martyrdom.
Fundamentally, I believe that I can make a greater difference for God by living life to its fullest (John 10:10), than by living under excessive stress.
FOR DISCUSSION: Any thoughts? How do you deal with stress? For those of you who have left the ministry; was it the stress that finally made you make the call to leave the ministry? Let's hear what you think...
Wow… yesterday’s post on young pastors leaving the ministry set a new record for the number of comments on one post. As of this writing there were over 180 comments posted to this one topic in less than 24 hours. Something tells me this subject must have connected with a lot of pastors…
Comments
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Randy Seiver on Wed, November 02, 2005
I used to chop wood and picture a deacon’s face at the top of each piece of wood I was chopping. It is tough living in a warm climate.
Brian La Croix on Fri, November 11, 2005
I’m not sure why I didn’t catch this blog before.
As I’ve mentioned in previous posts in other threads, I’m bi-vocational (actually, TRI-vocational - “full-time” at the church, part-time at two other jobs).
My wife is at home, raising our kiddos and homeschooling. This means that I have to be out working. I’m glad that we have made those choices, but it adds quite a bit of stress.
There have been a number of times when I wanted to quit one or all my jobs (at the same time!), but I can’t. And the main reason has very little to do with my call to ministry. It has to do with the fact that I have a Scriptural obligation to feed my family.
We have a very modest lifestyle (no cable, but do have internet) in a decent house with a pretty good mortgage. But the last time my wife bought clothes for herself or the kids from any place other than the Salvation Army or consignment stores is so far back I can’t remember. We drive older used vehicles, only one of which has a payment on it.
How does this relate to the stress mentioned in the article? It’s the very real fact that unless I’m working 7 days a week, the financial stress gets so high that it affects every area of my life - family and ministry included.
Stress in ministry mounts for me when I look at all the stuff I could be doing to further the ministry of the church and see it not getting done.
I say all this not to whine - I love what I do, and my other jobs are great. What I would ask is that you pray for us bi-vo guys and gals - that we would be able to ruthlessly carve out time to have a Sabbath. Believe me, we KNOW it’s a command of God. But we have a hard time seeing how we can get away with taking one.
I know in my case, it would relieve a lot of the stress I have. And to the glory of God, it’s not nearly as bad as it could be!
Brian
Paul Osborne on Sat, November 19, 2005
A new paperback book Take Your Foot Off The Gas shows drivers how to reduce stress by changing the way they drive. It appeals to drivers of all ages because it’s short and easy to read. It also discusses how to handle road rage and has a simple test to rate individual driving practices.
Learn how to drive like Mr. Polite and let the principles of Christianity govern your foot.
Take Your Foot Off The Gas is available online through Amazon and other book dealers
Evangelist Jeff on Sat, November 19, 2005
Brian, I will be praying for you. I know where your coming from. Sometimes I forget to do this but I try to keep my eyes on Christ everyday and the worries and cares of this world will slowly fade away. There are times I cannot get any peace except in the mornings and when everyone is asleep.Then I just sit and talk to the Father like I do with you. Then I try to stop and smell the roses along the way. Where I use to work I use to watch the sunrises every morning and talk with Him. Hang in there bro… You might want to give up one job though. Oh, and by the way if you ever need help let me know, my wife and I have all sort of kids clothes we have a 5 year old son.
Randy, after talking with you on other blogs I can actually see you doing this. Literally brother…
Laptoper on Tue, May 13, 2008
Keep the pastors away from children!
PastorAlabama on Tue, July 28, 2009
Thinking of resigning my first pastorate, been assistant and music man for 20 plus years but I might be in over my head. Started with 27 in our first Sunday as pastor, now running in the 40’s and 50’s, had 15 saved and 12 baptized. Slow summer,older folks in church bitter at former pastor leaving and not happy with ambitious 46 year old pastor wanting them to visit and incourage others to attend. Been a rough summer, fighting and bitterness driving some away.
PRAY
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