A Pastor Responds to Second-Hand Criticism
- Posted by: Todd
- Posted on: Sun, April 24, 2005
- Viewed 107
- (34) comments so far
Pastor Scott Hodge writes this about this problem and his frustration on his blog recently... Scott writes...
"Beginning next Sunday, all of our sermons will be spoken in ancient Greek and Hebrew.
Why? Because we want to provide people with more depth.
Huh?
"I want more depth."
What does this mean? Someone just told me that a person they know made that statement in regards to our church. But what does that mean?
Perhaps what they should be saying is, "I want the the PERCEPTION of depth."
The question I have for someone who says that is, "How's your love walk? Are you loving God? Are you loving people (all)? How many relationships with unchurched people have you built in your life this past year? Perhaps 'depth' is not what you need. You think you do, but you probably wouldn't even know what to do with 'depth' if it jumped all over you."
Ok, so maybe that's not very nice.
But here's the thing... That person isn't ready for depth anyway.
Here's the proof: If they have a problem with me and what I'm doing, they should have come directly to me. Isn't that the Biblical way? But instead, they went to someone else who has no power to change anything in the first place.
WARNING WILL ROBINSON.
Matthew 18 - "If your brother wrongs you, go and show him his fault, between you and him privately."
Ever feel like Pastor Scott? Why doesn't the person just come to me personally? Why should I give any credibility to a person who wants 'in-depth study', but doesn't have a handle on basic scriptural principles? Why do I have to spend so much of my time answering my critics? The harder I try not to offend, the more criticism it seems I receive. Why is that?
Are you ready for the answer? Here it is: I don't know! I really don't. I guess it's just human nature to criticize. Admittedly, some people tend to criticize and accuse more than others. Maybe the more important questions is... how do you deal with criticism? How do you respond?
As always, Jesus provides us the perfect example. Whatever you're accused of, Jesus was accused of worse. However badly you are treated, Jesus was treated worse. No matter how much pain people inflict on you; you can find consolation in the fact that Jesus endured more physical and emotional pain than you or I ever will.
How did Jesus respond to his critics? With love. Always with love. And that's how we must respond when we're criticized as well. Though we will many times initially be angry and want to fight back, the apostle Paul urges us to respond with sincere love. Look what he wrote in Romans 12:
Love must be sincere...Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer...Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse...Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: ?It is mine to avenge; I will repay,? says the Lord... Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
A good many reading this right now were criticized yesterday! Some things that were said in churches across America yesterday were downright brutal. If you were the recipient of second-hand criticism, choose right now how you'll respond. Don't let it fester.
And don't be down on yourself... you're not the first pastor or church leader to be criticized! "To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." (Elbert Hubbard)
Have a great week!
Todd
FOR DISCUSSION: Let's discuss this today at the MMI Blog... what are some of the criticisms you deal with the most? You do you repond? Have you ever responded negatively? What was the outcome? Stop by and share your experiences/input.
Comedian Steve Martin has said, "Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes." Have you ever been criticized in your job as pastor or church staff member?Comments
if you want a Globally Recognized Avatar (the images next to your profile) get them here. Once you sign up, they will displayed on any website that supports them.
Rich Viel on Mon, April 25, 2005
I appreciate Scott being so open. I haad to chuckle when I read his comments because I was just told by our elders that my sermons needed more depth. When I asked what that meant, all they could give be was a blank stare.
I have to agree with Pastor Al and others that often it is best to let those who critize constantly that there are other churches that might minister to their needs better. Eighteen of my twenty years in ministry have been as a associate watching my senior pastors bend over backwards to appease constant complainers. The vision never progressed, the complainers were never satisfied and they always ended up leaving in the end leaving behind a wake of destruction. So trying to please them is never profitable.
However, when I do approach these folks, I always try to do it with love and care and I always challenge them to get on board with the vision of the church. I have found that constant complainers often just don’t understand where we are going as a church and why. When I do take a little extra time to challenge them with the vision, some do get on board and often later become the champions for that vision.
Ben E. on Mon, April 25, 2005
As a worship leader, I can certainly appreciate the comments and suggestions concerning criticism. To paraphrase a few favorites, develop a soft heart AND thick skin, do not take your criticism NOR YOUR PRAISE too seriously and respond to criticism accordingly. You carefully consider the source and nature of the criticim and then prayerfully determine the response. There is criticism which should be politely recieved, thoughtfully considered then appropriately “filed” and that which should simply be ignored. There is also criticism which deserves a stronger and more direct response. Perhaps it’s a personal apology and/or open repentance. Or, perhaps it’s a response of firm resolve and loving correction towards the critic.
Whatever the response, a cotton soft heart and rhino thick skin will cover most criticism but it also helps to have a strong spiritual backbone (but not a spiritually “stiff neck”) and a clear focused, Biblically sound vision. Otherwise, criticism can become like the “death of a thousand cuts” which whittles away your heart and spirit.
I would add this: Concerning the comments of Pastor Greg, if you were expounding on a scriptural truth contained in John 14 GREAT! If the point you were making is that religion ABOUT Jesus Christ isn’t the way to eternal life but a relationship WITH Jesus Christ is, as for myself, I’m in wholehearted agreement. That’s a wonderful, foundational and dare I say “traditional” truth that should be brought forth.
BUT, if you are working to “expand the consciousness” to something outside of a scriptural truth (that Jesus IS NOT the only way to the Father, IE heaven.) you are more than open to very legitimate criticism! And, to wrap yourself even lightly in the cloak of Martin Luther or any other reformer or martyr does not shield you from nor raise you above the truth of the criticism.
Please understand, I am NOT a traditionalist and I have recieved copious amounts of criticism for it. But, when it comes to Biblical truth, Jesus Christ and eternal life, the Bible is pretty clear.
Sincerely, In Christ,
Ben E.
Jim on Mon, April 25, 2005
All of us who are pastors deserve a lot of cudos and encouragement. No pastor or servant lives in a vacuum. If you serve another you will be criticized for it. I don’t have any profound insight into this area. I am hurt by unreasonable criticism like the rest of you. But I will add just one area, we are all in spiritual warfare. I don’t mean to “spiritualize” the real cutting, hurtful words people can say. But I also realize the enemy of our faith and Lord loves to pull good, well intentioned people into a battle of hurtful, penetrating words. While this truth does not minimize the criticism, for me, it helps me put into perspecitive sometimes why this stuff flys in my face. AND, there are other times that the criticism is warranted and those well-intentioned people deliver constructive, helpful criticism which makes me a better pastor and servant. My first Pastor-Mentor told me (much like a previous comment) to keep a tender heart but develope a thick skin. I’m still a teddy-bear inside, but my skin is thicker than it used to be. Also let’s make sure we are all getting enough rest, recreation (RE-creation), proper diet and intimate time with our spouse. This helps to keep the criticism, for me, from stinging too much or too long. Criticism is always most hurtful when other things in my life are out of balance and especially when my wife and I have not spent quality time together. I can’t suggest any fix-it strategies for those criticising us, but I can minimize the effects in my life by being healthy spritiually, physically, mentally, emotionally and relationally. HOpe this helps!
J. R. Miller on Mon, April 25, 2005
When I was a youth pastor, I once had a couple come into my office because they were wanting to leave their current church, but they had some concerns about my youth program. The short versino, they wanted me to change the way I ran things before they were willing to come! I had to laugh inside, they were critical of me and my POM before they even stepped foot in our church. I politely encouraged them to find a different youth group for their son because I had no intention of changing. http://www.mondaymorninginsight.com/images/smileys/grin.gif
Robert Bluestein on Mon, April 25, 2005
This is a very inciteful piece. I have personally seen members of a congregation take down Pastors with their words. It sometimes takes years for it to dawn on everyone that the Pastor behind the pulpit is also mortal.
The thing I encourage as I grow spiritually is for all to remember that the Man of God is annointed and has a tremedous role to fufill, one which judge him harshly as a Shepherd.
Encouragement is the action which I think Christ most exhibited, and if we fail to encourage our Pastors, we can never be the leaders Christ would want us to become.
Tony Rodgers on Tue, April 26, 2005
Second-hand criticism. Wow! Interesting and timely in my case. I have just seen the results of a church-wide survey. Respondents were free to express themselves without signing the survey - so I know second-hand criticism. I haven’t processed all the information yet, but I have made some notation:
1. Your best public rating pole will be the one you get when they vote you to become their pastor.
2. In the case of a survey - you asked for it so be prepared to deal with it. I know there are some things I need to improve on and some things I’m doing well on. I am willing to admit that I’m not perfect and I will seek to improve myself in light of resonable criticism (I will make it “constructive criticism”)
3. Look beyond personal attacks and consider spiritual maturity. “Hateful” comments indicate very shallow (if any) spiritual maturity. Expect them - don’t be surprised by them. Consider how you as pastor may help the most immature Christian grow spiritually. (There’s a lot more here but I’ll stop with that)
4. Remember, “God” called you to minister where you are. “People” may have affirmed that by a vote, but “people” with criticism should not dismiss you from that ministry unless God releases you and calls you elsewhere.
These are very brief, preliminary findings from a recent church-wide survey.
Todd Rhoades on Tue, April 26, 2005
Hey, everyone… thanks for the GREAT response!
I’d like to chime in on Jerry’s comments (just a couple of posts up). Jerry says one of his problems with Rick Warren is the following:
• According to his writings, Rick Warren believes that the primary purpose of the Sunday morning church services is to reach out to unbelievers (Warren, Purpose Driven Church see p. 243), this premise is false. According to the New Testament, the expressed reason the church gathers is for worship and “equipping the saints for the work of the ministry”(Eph. 4:11-16; Acts 2:37-47). Rather than being the primary focus of the Sunday morning worship service, evangelism first and foremost takes place in the context of the believer’s life (literal translation: “having gone, make disciples” (Matt. 28:18-20 This is the clear pattern found throughout the New Testament.
This is one of the big things I’ve heard about Rick, and ‘seeker-sensitive’ churches in general.
I can’t say that I don’t agree in principle; however; I’d like to make two or three distinct points:
1. I grew up Baptist, and we did this all the time, way BEFORE the seeker sensitive movement began… Sunday morning (and church in general) was THE time to invite your unsaved friends so that they could ‘hear the gospel’. My goodness, we had contests, swallowed fish, took cream pies to the face, preached from the roof, shaved our heads… all kinds of silly, crazy things just to hit our ‘attendance’ goals. Seems silly now, but the goal was to get the unsaved there so that they’d get saved. I don’t know that many ‘evangelical’ churches that DON’T use Sunday morning as at least some type of evangelism. At least that’s been my experience for the last 40 years (or so).
2. I don’t think that the SSensative pastor or church would disagree that we should live out our lives to reach people for Christ throughout the week as well. Most SS churches are based on this.
3. I actually think it’s possible to do both… yes, both… and not deviate from scripture. Services can appeal to the unsaved and yet be a time of worship & fellowship & growth for the believre. Just because you are SS or evangelistic on Sunday doesn’t mean that Christians don’t get anything out of it.
Again, Jerry… I don’t see this as a big point (or at least one to lead off with). I’d be entirely in your camp if people like Rick Warren were only doing the dog and pony show for an hour on Sunday mornings to get people saved, then living like apostates the rest of the week. But, I just haven’t seen that. Matter of fact, we’ve had a Saddleback member here already give testimony to how the church has literally changed her life (her AND for eternity).
And, just for fun, let’s turn it around… can anyone name a church that DOES NOT MAKE ANY ATTEMPT to be somewhat friendly/helpful to the unsaved during Sunday Morning Services that is claiming great victory in bringing people to Christ? You know, a church that meets totally for Christians on Sunday mornings; but is extremely effective in reaching people throughout the week. I’m sure there are some… just none are coming to mind.
Thanks! Keep up the great discussion.
Todd
Linda on Tue, April 26, 2005
I think it takes all types of Churches preaching Christ to reach all nationalities and nations. Matthew 7:1-6 covers how Jesus feels about judging and criticizing others.
Self – reflection: How full is your fruit basket?
Praise be to God for all of His faithful workers.
One Biblical Counselor in the fields
bernie dehler on Tue, April 26, 2005
I learned from an excellent fundraising book that only 5% of disgruntled people will actually complain… the advice is to listen to them, take to heart their complaints, and if you can win them over, you’ll have a very strong supporter.
I don’t understand why so many on this blog and preachers in general prefer to stick their head in the sand… maybe afraid of personal growth/change or admitting error? Criticism is precious; just sort the wheat from the chaff…
...Bernie
http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/247
Jade on Tue, April 26, 2005
What a good article. This is a good topic for all of us pastors, because all of us have been critized at one time or another. I think the key to all this is to handle these people with love. Prayer for them, and move on. Now I am not saying baby them, but becareful about rejecting their cirtizm right away. I try to listen as much as I can, before I say something back. If they are wrong, I prayer for them to see it. If I am wrong, I pray for me to overcome it, and to ask forgiveness for it.
None of us will ever be perfect, and neither will the people in our congregations. How can we be suprised when the lost sheep act like the lost.
In Christ
John on Sat, April 30, 2005
Criticism.
It’s how we improve and how we tear down.
It has power to hurt and to make better.
Depending on how you look at it and in what spirit in which it was delivered.
We hope that the critics care enough to do it in encouragement but the very definition of the word is adversely influenced.
Accept criticism humbly and provoke no one to wrath. I could do many things better and so could you. If we would judge ourselves more sternly, maybe criticism would perish. Doubtful but still hopeful!
There is a time for all things, including criticism.
derek on Fri, May 06, 2005
the way I handle criticism is first, define it. Is is true or is it false. If true then I humbly apply it. If it’s false then I first discern the source of the criticism. If I discern the source as being sincerely ignorant then I may enlighten them with the truth however If the source of the critism is intentionally underminding my authority by purposely spreading the falsehood I will adress it.
Pastor Al on Fri, May 06, 2005
Criticism is never a “positive” thing! It isn’t even scriptural! In fact Satan is called the “accuser of the brethren.”
What is scriptural is “provoking each other to good works.” Encouraging each other; defending each other, no judging each other; loving each other. A person who is doing these things will never “criticize” but they might rebuke, which is accountability wrapped in love!
Pastor Al on Fri, May 06, 2005
One more thing – Criticism is basically picking at the humanness of another. It is not to help but to hurt and lift up the one doing the criticism. It is time we stand against this “false love” and stand for true Biblical love. Biblical love while involves accountability always has hope and love with it – it always lifts up the individual it never tears them down.
Daniel Zepeda on Fri, May 06, 2005
Galatians 2:11
11 Now when Peter had come to Antioch, I withstood him to his face, because he was to be blamed;
12 for before certain men came from James, he would eat with the Gentiles; but when they came, he withdrew and separated himself, fearing those who were of the circumcision.
13 And the rest of the Jews also played the hypocrite with him, so that even Barnabas was carried away with their hypocrisy.
14 But when I saw that they were not straightforward about the truth of the gospel, I said to Peter before them all, “If you, being a Jew, live in the manner of Gentiles and not as the Jews, why do you compel Gentiles to live as Jews?
15 We who are Jews by nature, and not sinners of the Gentiles,
16 knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law but by faith in Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Christ Jesus, that we might be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the law; for by the works of the law no flesh shall be justified.
In this scripture, Paul reprimanded Peter a disciple of Jesus Christ in public. As Christians, we have a responsibility to call those in error unto accountability. Peter was the top disciple in Jerusalem and Peter was reprimanded publicly by Paul, who was not considered equal to the apostles by many in his time, yet wrote the majority of the New Testament.
It is often our pride and love of power that keeps us from accepting criticism. Grant it not all criticism is constructive, but I have learned that even my enemies seeking to hurt me have often unintentionally helped me by their vocal criticism when I took time to hear what the criticism said and took time to take the criticism to the Lord in prayer. Which brings to mind some scripture to contemplate.
Proverbs 10:
7 He who keeps instruction is in the way of life,
But he who refuses correction goes astray.
18 Whoever hides hatred has lying lips,
And whoever spreads slander is a fool.
19 In the multitude of words sin is not lacking,
But he who restrains his lips is wise.
20 The tongue of the righteous is choice silver;
The heart of the wicked is worth little.
21 The lips of the righteous feed many,
But fools die for lack of ?wisdom.
Proverbs 12:15-20
15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes,
But he who heeds counsel is wise.
16 A fool’s wrath is known at once,
But a prudent man covers shame.
17 He who speaks truth declares righteousness,
But a false witness, deceit.
18 There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword,
But the tongue of the wise promotes health.
19 The truthful lip shall be established forever,
But a lying tongue is but for a moment.
20 Deceit is in the heart of those who devise evil,
But counselors of peace have joy.
21 No grave trouble will overtake the righteous,
But the wicked shall be filled with evil.
22 Lying lips are an abomination to the LORD,
But those who deal truthfully are His delight.
Let scripture speak for itself and those who have ears to hear will hear what the Holy Spirit is saying while those that don’t will continue in their folly.
Page 2 of 3 pages < 1 2 3 >
Post a Comment