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    We’re Not Called To Quit!

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    In my last year of college I took Homiletics and Pastoral Theology. Both of those classes comprised the “serious pastoral ministries track students”.  It wasn’t a huge class - just six of us in total actually.  Of those six - one is an itinerant evangelist and I’m the only one in full time ministry.  Two realized after our courses that they were not called but had merely aspired to pastoral work.  Two others interned and quit.

    One of them, Dave, and I caught up when I was in between ministries (trying to swear off ministry on purpose).  He told me their stories.  They both were close and interned in different churches.  They both quit because of “church politics.” You have to understand we - felt that these two capable preachers were truly called.  A call affirmed by their churches, by our prof, by our class, others in their lives and they felt a real sense of call as well.  But 1 year in - they left.

    In my 12 years it took my to get my ministry degree (long story - maybe I’ll tell it sometime but that alone should indicate some sense of call), I saw a LOT of potential youth ministers come and go.  Many of them wild and crazy and gifted beyond belief.  Most of the ones I know of from my Bible School days - are lay workers in the church after having pastored for about one year to two years.

    When I’ve caught up with them, they prefer working in the youth ministries where they can avoid “constantly being questioned” about their motives, whether what their doing is ministry and a myriad of other things.  They’d rather support another youth pastor than be one again. They spoke to me about unrealistic expectations that they can’t meet, people who seem to want to restrict ministry rather than assist it and of course the people who always seem to criticize but never propose any solutions to the problems they keep finding.

    The solution we find is to QUIT!  What kind of leadership is THAT?  Did God’s call on our ministries just disappear?  Just two weeks ago I listed here the reasons for my depression and desire to quit.  I know it’s an overused example but Elijah felt the same way.  I think he got depressed for the same reason Peter started to sink.  He lost his focus.  He just watches God defeat a LOT of false prophets of a false god and he freaks out over the death threat of one powerful human woman.  He took his eyes off God and felt alone. 

    well we do the same stupid thing all the time.  What kind of leaders are we when we can preach about standing in the difficult times and how it’s not falling that’s important but the fact that we keep letting God pick us up - and then we quit when it gets tough!  Is our calling from God that weak?  Where’s our faith?

    I think it’s in our lack of discipline.  We fail to guard our day off - ignoring a Sabbath because we’re in ministry.  We’ll read and study the Word for the benefit of others but not set aside time for ourselves.  We’ll sacrifice family time for ministry - trying to live to expectations of others or a vision of a calling that doesn’t match the pastoral qualifications of managing our families well.  We don’t have anyone we can talk to or tell or hold us accountable.  It’s a disaster waiting to happen.  The disaster is again - we quit.

    Once we do that and we begin to make ourselves and island - run our of ourselves and have no more power to live let alone lead.  I can only say WAKE UP. 

    I know there ARE churches out there that sap people and are contrary to scripture.  There are dying churches.  But they are not as much the rule as the exception and when we recognize them we should get out - fast. 

    However, most people disagree because they are passionate from a different perspective, one that may even miss the boat, but not out of spite.

    WE take our eyes off God we WILL feel alone.  We’re not perfect but COME ON - if we’re called to lead let’s really LEAD.  Let’s model (even if no-one sees) the personal spiritual life we wish our church leaders and congregants had.  We need to pray like Luther did.

    “Lord God, You have appointed me to be a bishop and pastor in Your church.  You see how unfit I am to undertake this great and difficult office, and were it not for your help, I would long since have ruined it all.  Therefore I cry unto You; I will assuredly apply my mouth and my heart to Your service.  I desire to teach the people, and I myself would learn and ever more diligently meditate on Your Word.  Use me as Your instrument, only do not though forsake me, for if I am left alone I shall easily bring it all to destruction.  Amen”

    SO what’s the point.  I hope there’s some first year ministers who read this.  I hope you’ll commit to looking seriously at your call to ministry.  What you’re called to - and refreshing it every day.  I’d like you to commit to taking care of yourself and your family if you have one - making those things sacred.  And then commit to commenting below - and checking back on this article to see you’re not alone.  Just like the Lord showed Elijah he was not alone - we need to know we’re not alone.  More than that - the North American church needs leaders who are willing to accept the call of God - and willing to continue in that call.  We need to STOP QUITTING!

    Michael Kowalson has been married for twelve years and is the father of four daughters.  Currently, Michael is the Youth Pastor of The Nelson/Balfour/Junction Covenant Church in British Columbia, Canada. 

    Before you quit - make sure you've fulfilled God's call for the ministry you're in. The average tenure of a youth pastor these days is just over one year. More than 25% of those who leave a youth ministry position NEVER return (I have heard some say it’s higher). It’s not just youth ministry though. It’s aspiring pastors as well...

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    1. dave on Mon, March 19, 2007

      Reply to Rev. S.


      You pray, and pray, and pray.


      Spend some time and reconsider your calling. When where you called? What do you remember about it? What kinds of things were happening at the time you were called? Good , weird, and strange. Make a list. What scriptures did God lead you to?


      Try to remember and think about how God has used. Focus on the fact that you have been set aside by God and not man. God is the one who calls and others simply confirm it!


      Ask “why does it seems like my hands are tied?” Has there been any changes in the church you minister at? What is your pastor like? What is his vision for the church? As a youth pastor, you are the shepherd of the younger flock! I’m sure you do plan fun activities for the kids but more importantly is how do you relate to your kids? How much are you getting them in the word?

    2. Richard on Tue, August 21, 2007

      I’ve had a call on my life for a few years and just now got my license. I have been attending at my current church for two years. A couple of weeks ago I had a meeting with my pastor. I felt like he had chewed my heart up and spit it out. He said he would have never spoken to me that way until after I got my license. Some of the stuff he said had truth to it but the majority was no where close. I am now deciding whether or not to even stay at this church because I am hurt so much. How can I serve someone I no longer respect?

    3. dave on Fri, November 02, 2007

      Well, its been 8 months since I left my position and my church. I still have friends who attend the church and one who’s active on the church board. He tells me that I am STILL getting blamed for youth events that are getting cancelled under the new leadership. I didn’t think that I had any influence on them at all. To make things worse, the pastor’s son has called on two occassions trying to pick a fight. He says that he needs to “take care” of some people who have problems with him. I really honestly want to move on, but I can’t. Start attending a new church. Different denomination. Even started helping out in a very small role. Working with the Awana program. Sit in the back of the church. Slip out when church is over. Every Sunday and I mean EVERY single Sunday is a struggle to go to church. I tried a few different ones. I really love the church I now attend. I just don’t want to get set up to be hurt again.


      My wife hasn’t been anywhere since attending a friend’s church on Easter.


      I feel like I failed at what God called me to do even though I had my ministry ripped out of my hands! How do you begin to trust in people again? What do you do when your family has been misaligned? Is it time to look for something else to do?


      Dave

    4. Tasha on Mon, January 28, 2008

      hello i believe this statement is about not quiting so i don’t think you all should come down on micheal if you had read it then you would understand what he is saying

    5. dave on Mon, January 28, 2008

      I’m sorry if anything I’ve said has appeared as “coming down on Michael”. I believe that he is trying to encourage us to try to stick it out and faithfully serve the LORD. Sometimes, however there are situations where you need to make a decision. #1- Why is quitting suddenly something a pastor is considering? Is it suddenly or is it something that has festered for a long time? #2 What are the reasons that a pastor can no longer feel comfortable ministering in their current place or position? #3 Is this decision to either leave or stay directed by God? #4 What are you learning about your personal dependence upon God? Many things lead to my decision to leave. One thing was that I discovered that I was measuring my relationship to God by how much I thought I could accomplish for Him. As a result, I changed my position from being Dave, one of God’s kids to Dave, the great youth pastor who was going to help God with young people into the Kingdom. In hindsight, it was becoming more me than Him. I was overdue for a sabbatical. Things are getting better, but when your personal relationship wanes, you begin to lose that first love. As Paul the Apostle said that even if he had faith that moved mountains, but didnt have love. He knew that he was nothing. God bless all you brothers and sisters who have posted and emailed me personally. It has really helped with this difficult time. Again thanks foir your unending prayers.


      Dave

    6. Michael Kowalson on Wed, January 30, 2008

      I don’t believe Dave was coming down on me and I know precisely how he feels.  In fact, since I wrote this article - I have also left that ministry.  I wrote it about not quitting just because things are hard - not losing the call because one ministry goes bad - not losing faith when minsitry life sucks.  And I have again been tested in all of those areas.  Am I still called to ministry yes - as a full-timer - possibly again some day - as a youth minister - probably not but no guarantees.  What I am is open to God’s leading even though I cannot see it.  That’s what we need to remember.

    7. Acts Aota on Tue, April 22, 2008

      Brethren there is an urgent call to save the youths of our generation fellow youth ministers let’s refuse to throw in the towel.


      Get someone to talk to and share your struggles and challenges, get a passionante person to keep sharing your vision and plans with and finally keep yourself in the love of God by meditating on His word.


      We are hear to influence the cause of our universe.

    8. xwnstyve on Mon, September 07, 2009

      lbznjeaw http://iqbrgmri.com tiehxxmi noryuuan

    9. depleted on Wed, September 09, 2009

      The world tolerates conceit from those who are successful, but not from anybody else.

    10. insonify on Wed, September 09, 2009

      There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers.

    11. xanthoxylone on Fri, September 11, 2009

      The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it.

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