What Youth Ministers Wish Their Senior Pastors Knew
- Posted by: Todd
- Posted on: Fri, November 04, 2005
- Viewed 72
- (32) comments so far
After having been in youth ministry for over 10 years, I have had my share of great and not so great pastors to work with and be around. I have talked with many a youth pastor and shared over a table at Taco Bell (the ultimate YM hangout) the frustrations and laughs of pastors. Many just don?t ?get? youth ministry and end up fighting us along the way. I have my top 10 of what Every Youth Pastor Wished Their Pastor Knew About Youth Ministry:
1. YM is not Adult Ministry ? don?t expect it to act like it. YM is unpredictable as we deal with so many variables from teenagers, adults and school schedules.
2. YM is not about the numbers ? true YM is about discipling and seeing teenagers lives changed for Christ. This is something that may not be seen sometimes for years to come. It is not about ?How many we have??
3. Because we are not in the office does not mean we are ?taking time off?. We are out there in the trenches where the teenagers are.
4. YM is not the dumping ground for what the church doesn?t want to do ? Please don?t give us the chores that the adults don?t want to do around the church. If only I had a nickel for every meeting I was in that the phrase, ?that sounds like a good project for the YM?, was used.
5. We are more than ?babysitters? in the church ? we are ministers called and equipped to lead.
6. Include us in the Ministry of the Church ? Communication is key to unity. Information reduces anxiety. Keeping each other informed out our ministries only helps us.
7. Please allow us to fail ? let us try new ministry approaches. Remember what is now ?tradition? was once ?new and cutting edge?. Also, when we fail, love us back to where we were. Don?t belittle us in front of church or it?s members. Praise us publicly for taking risks in the name of Christ.
8. Mentor us ? Make sure we are getting fed. Let us go to conferences, pray with us, hold us accountable, challenge us and teach us from your wisdom.
9. Be teachable ? Please be teachable yourself. Don?t assume that you know more than us. We just might have something intelligent to add
10. We also need a sabbatical. YM is a tiring and rewarding ministry. But we also need our time to be refreshed, renewed and time to be with our family.
That is my top ten list. Have I missed something? Let me know.
What do you wish your Pastor knew or understood about youth ministry?
A while back, there was quite a storm about the post about "Six Things Worship Pastors Would like to Tell their Senior Pastors"… now "Pastor J" has a sequel for Youth Pastors… see what you think… (props to Rachel for this link)...Pastor J writes…
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Jade on Fri, November 04, 2005
I would like to add one. Allow us to disagree with you. Just because you think something is not going to work doesn’t mean it won’t.
Also am I the only youth pastor this happens to. Every October during pastor appreciation month the staff gets invited to peoples houses for dinner. Always, ALWAYS My wife and I sit with the kids while the other ministers sit with the adults. Hello!?!?! Now granted I am a youth minister, but that don’t mean I don’t like to talk to adults. I am one! Have been for awhile now. Am I alone here?
Sorry got on a Soap box. For the most part however I have had really good relationships with my Senior Pastors.
Jackson on Fri, November 04, 2005
THEIR, Todd. Hehe, sorry, I had to say it.
Also, great list. I’m a YP…and reading the list I’m not sure I would add anything. The “don’t give us all the chores others don’t want to do” made me chuckle, because sometimes I feel that way.
My pastors are really supportive and awesome so I think I’m more fortunate than your average YP, but even they could benefit from this list. Nobody’s perfect.
Bernie Dehler on Fri, November 04, 2005
“YM is not the dumping ground for what the church doesn’t want to do – Please don’t give us the chores that the adults don’t want to do around the church. If only I had a nickel for every meeting I was in that the phrase, “that sounds like a good project for the YM”, was used.”
May I suggest a tactic? Next time you attend a meeting like this, bring up your own vision, mission, and request for help. Rather than being quite and taking other’s work, explain the programs you are working on and the help that you also need… in short, turn the tables on them… Maybe you’ll find this advice taking your job more seriously, and others will look-up to you and respect your work/vision? If you have nothing to do but fire-fight, then they’ll give you more fires to fight…
If you want respect, earn it. Learn the issues at Church, and take a stand for how to resolve them. Be informed and vocal… in short, a serious contributor.
Tim on Fri, November 04, 2005
I would agree with Bernie. Go into a ministry with your vision clear, your purpose defined, your expectations high, and your strategy ready for implementation. Not that you go in with the attitude of changing everything that was there previously, with a vision that starts heading in a direction that other people can rally around and really sink their teeth into.
Unfortunately, I worked under a pastor in my previous ministry that could’ve really used this list. I eventually resigned after hitting complete frustration and then some time later heard that the church has fallen apart and ceased to exist. :-(
The pastor at my current church, though, is great. Complete trust, freedom, flexibility, the right to say “no” and to lead the youth in the direction that God lays on my heart. Woo hoo!
pjlr on Fri, November 04, 2005
As any and all associates in ministry, you are there to implement and complement the completion of the mission of the church. The vision has in most cases already been defined before you got there. You don ‘t have the privilege to just pursue what you think God would have you to do. You are there to discern what the Lord is doing and move towards that.
Senior Pastors, other staff members and Elders were there and they added to their staff someone they thought would be able to help them accomplish their mission.
If you want to develop a separate entity, go into church planting, not join a staff.
I’ve been both youth pastor and senior pastor. I’ve hung around with both and I can readily attest to you that the biggest conflict comes when associates think the church exists to fund and support their ministry rather than the other way around.
Youth pastors will get along famously with their senior mentors if they show a spirit of cooperation, humility and selflessness.
Bernie Dehler on Fri, November 04, 2005
pclr said:
“As any and all associates in ministry, you are there to implement and complement the completion of the mission of the church. The vision has in most cases already been defined before you got there. You don ‘t have the privilege to just pursue what you think God would have you to do. You are there to discern what the Lord is doing and move towards that.”
You make it sound like everything’s defined. In actually, plans/programs have to be continuously reviewed and re-assessed. The staff is alsways growing in wisdom. It’s not static… not at all!
As such, with the right mindset, you can be a major contributor to all facets of church ministry and management. Most bosses may appreciate that. If not, your choices are to battle with the boss, go along with the incompetant boss half-heartedly, or quit. If you choose to battle (bad boss) or contribute (good boss), you can do all this in love and humility.
Just my thoughts…
Tim on Fri, November 04, 2005
I understand what pjlr is saying, but I still disagree with it. God has given each of us a vision for ministry. We each work best when we are given the freedom to excel and pursue that vision with the encouragement of those around us. That is what my sr. pastor does for me and what I do for my adult youth leaders. The sr. pastor equips me to pursue my calling in ministry and I do the same to equip and invest into my youth volunteers so they are as effective as possible in implementing the passion God’s given them. My sr. pastor gives me the freedom to go wherever the Lord is leading with the youth ministry. He comes along-side me to make sure I’m successful in it. I do the same for my leaders. My dream becomes his dream. The dreams of my youth leaders become my dream and we pursue those dreams together.
pjlr on Sat, November 05, 2005
Bernie and Tim: In a good church, the vision is set by the presiding Senior Pastor and Elders. While associates get green lights for their plans and are encouraged in building their skills, this happens in the context of fulfilling the existing church vision. Programs, events and activities are not equivalent to mission and vision. They are tools to facilitate the vision. Tim, I would suspect that your Pastor is being very supportive because your program, activities and planned events are in agreement with the church’s vision. Try going against that in the direction you feel “the calling of God” and I suspect your support will vanish rather quickly:)
Any associate who pursues any other vision other than the one that has already been defined by the church is engaging in subversion. It is no wonder that so many associates (youth pastors in particular) only end up in their churches for 2 or 3 years. It is also no wonder that they claim that they weren’t supported by their Senior pastors and Boards either.
Before any associate candidates at a church (and even a Senior Pastor for that matter), they should inquire exhaustively about the mission and vision of the church. They should then determine if they are compatible before they pursue possible appointment. It would save the pastor and the church much conflict if that matter is settled before the appointment starts.
Ricky on Sat, November 05, 2005
pjlr:
“In a good church, the vision is set by the presiding Senior Pastor and Elders.”
“Any associate who pursues any other vision other than the one that has already been defined by the church is engaging in subversion.”
Hey, pjlr, would you please give us the Scriptural support for what you contend?
I consider the Early Church and those that immediately followed, to be more than a “good church,” and yet you want find them setting vision statements and certainly not governed by pastors and/or elders.
The only “vision statement” that they received from Jesus (you know, the One who builds the Church) lived on was “Go.” And this wasn’t just for the “leaders,” but for EVERYONE. The marching orders still stand for us today.
Anything beyond that is concocting a straw man for controlling others…plain and simple.
David on Mon, November 07, 2005
Great Article.
I served for many years as a youth pastor before becoming a Senior Pastor myself. I’ve noticed in my travels around the country and the world over the last 4 years of itinerant ministry a lot of pastors have who have never been in youth ministry do not understand what YM is all about these days; or they were “youth ministers” during a period when youth ministry WAS more about pizza and Six Flags and not making disciples!
I especially liked the one about not being in the office…many scars and t-shirts on that one!
To Youth Pastors everywhere: keep up the work and remember you are building God’s Kingdom and not a mans: He WILL pay you well!
David Copeland
Neal on Mon, November 07, 2005
pjlr (and others like him),
Please stop being a CEO and start being a shepherd. Granted, there is no room for mavericks. Like an arial flight team the wingmen take their cues from the point pilot, but each “pilot” has his own aircraft to fly and has to respond to the instruments giving him the signals.
It just might be possible that from time to time senior pastors have to come with a spirit of cooperation, humility and selflessness as well.
Work together to accomplish the purpose. Iron sharpens iron. You might gain some wisdom and learn to “discern what the Lord is doing” as he speaks through your “junior” staff. Allow the staff to grow together in wisdom together as you wrestle through issues together instead of from the top down.
Pastor Dan on Mon, November 07, 2005
The ten points in the article were good. I have been both a youth pastor and senior pastor and currently am doing both!! The key from what I have learned is to find a sr. pastor/youth pastor realtionship that fits well. You need to work togther as a team, supporting each other. Probably the biggest issue is our ego’s on both sides. We need to loose them quickly and work together.
Billy on Mon, November 07, 2005
I would add this one:
Youth ministry is valuable in itself and is not just my way of ‘paying my dues’ in preparation for a real ministry role.
Larry on Mon, November 07, 2005
Todd,
Since we have had a list of what worship leaders and youth pastors would like their senior pastor to know, now, how about a list of what senior pastors would like their staff to know.
Garry Elam on Mon, November 07, 2005
Ok so I started doing youth ministry back in 1978. And new programs have come and gone and new formats and styles of music—One thing has never changed in youth ministry
Relationships!
No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.
I don’t care how you do it but unless the kids you work with see thelove of Christ flowing out of your life and how you relate to them everything else is secondary.
We need to stop trying to be te coolest peron around and being a reflection of Christ—this ismore importat than anything else we can do with todays broken homes and dysfunctional families. We cn truly be a lamp in their life!
One of the best things I have seen happen to youth ministry is way back when- All youth pastors were right out of bible college or seminary and it was a tempoerary step to becoming a “Real pastor” There was no longevity in the miistry.
Today there are many of us who have been working with the kids for years—and it takes time to develop the relationships and to disciple our kids. My job as a youth pasor is not a stepping stone to anything—this is my ministry and where God has called me.
But the blessings come when you have had a kid just “Showing up” for several years and then all of a sudden see the light go on and their life turned aroud for Christ. Oh ad the joy of seeing the “kids” you had in their teen years now being leaders in their curches and how they are loving parents and walking wit their Lord in all they do.
I want to encourage any and all of you that are discouraged- Hang in there- This is a wonderful ministry and you are needed
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