How Would You Respond to This Lesbian?

Posted by: Todd
Posted on: Mon, September 21, 2009
(60) comments so far

How would you reply to this lesbian?

I was chatting with friends the other night, and we came across the topic of Christianity.

One of my friend, let's call her A, is 31. And my other friend, B.

Me: So,how did you two (A and B) meet again?

A: We met at a church. I was a church leader and B was one of my 'students' there.

Me: (confused) Why did you stop going back to church then?

A: I didn't. They (church people) said that I must repent of my "so-called" sins. If not, I can't return there. And I didn't repent because really, what has my sexual orientation gotta do with my faith?

It's really very pathetic how Christians drive us away from church just because of our sexuality. You see, one thing I found out about these self-proclaimed Christians is that they don't really follow what the Bible says most of the time, but when it comes to the homosexuality part, yes they tend to get very serious about it. Which is, in here, discrimination again. So tell me, pastors, didn't God tell you to love your neighbor as yourself? Why do people have to make drama out of our sexual orientation and kick us out of Church when 'normal' heterosexual people cheats and lie and do all kinds of other 'evil' things?

Seriously... how would you respond?

If you're gonna type all the verses about homosexuality is a sin, stop now. Seriously. I will delete your comment. That's not what this post is about. Those have already been used on this girl. They didn't work.

Some of the comments here really give some good insight...

My question for you... doesn't she have a valid complaint that we put homosexuality up on a pedestal while we look the other way at heterosexual sins? Not always, but many times, we look at affairs and divorce as just things people go through. We sit them off the choir or praise team for a few months, then we're good.

Should/how should the church reach out to this girl?

Do we really believe she needs Jesus?

If so, how do we reach her? Seriously. How do we reach her, holding true to our beliefs that homosexuality is wrong biblically, but knowing that that will be the ONE THING in her life that will keep her from Christ.
Your thoughts?

Comments

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TO on Mon, September 21, 2009

There are some great comments here and the fact that she was a leader who got involved with a student should be the focus here for her to understand why she is not in leadership. As far as the homosexual issue, I don’t think I would disallow someone to attend church over it but they would not be able to remain a member. I hear the argument all the time that the church is over focused on homosexual sin but seems to do nothing about adultery, lying, etc. My response is usually this: Tell me who you know who is doing that and I will confront them just as I have you. The problem is that those who are committing adultery don’t walk into the church and flaunt it as something that should be ok and accepted. There aren’t many people who say, “you have to accept my adultery because that is who I am.” So that is really an unfair comparison. If you were homosexual and came to the church and never made it an issue or tried to convince people it was ok then I would never know enough to confront.

I think there are churches who do treat people who are homosexuals differently than those with other types of sins and that is wrong, but when they come to my church where we don’t and make that accusation to try to guilt us into accepting it as a condition of being non-discriminatory, then I let them know they are off in that area and that we treat all people who think their sin is ok the same way. When you can get behind the issue of fair treatment, then you can get to the place of understanding and having a good conversation.

Love does not equal permissiveness. In fact it is a lack of love that would cause anyone to let someone do something that you believed was harmful to themselves and to others.
David C. on Mon, September 21, 2009

Amen to Robert Hook’s first comment. This Hook slayed the youthful Christian.

If all have sinned and fall short of God’s standard of holiness what right do we have to play favorites? Didn’t Jesus warn us about that as well? It’s not as tough as people make it… or wait, maybe it is. People must leave behind their homosexuality before coming to church, we’re agreed there? Then we must also say that those who have had premarital sex, been divorced, lied, stole, slandered, been prideful, greedy, gluttonous, selfish et. al must first make amends and be cured of these heinous afflictions before coming back to church. We must practice consistency. Even if our churches are empty this next weekend, we as Christians must live by the standard Jesus raised.

Jesus did not call us to come to Him and be healed, He called us to heal ourselves and THEN come to Him as the spotless bride.

... right?
Tom on Mon, September 21, 2009

An openly homosexual person, is welcome into our church, as much as any sinner of any kind. We would love them, and bring them to a saving relationship in Jesus, just the same as I was when I was brought up out of my sin. That said, I would not turn the pulpit over to them to espouce their personal sin as a Christian way of life, any more than I would to ANY, openly unrepentant sinner of ANY type. Jesus Himself said it best, to the woman who was brought to Him for adultery, “Woman I do not condem you, go,,,,, and,,,,, Sin,,,,, No More”. You can’t go wrong if you use Jesus’ example!
pastor robby on Mon, September 21, 2009

I deal with sin and sinners as i understand Jesus did in His first message, “repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand”. I hope that is not too judgmental. Since we are all sinners, then doesn’t it come down to sinners who have repented and sinners who haven’t? Can’t we love someone and still call sin, sin? Isn’t love without judgment/wrath just sentimentality and powerless? Who really loves their child and doesn’t seek to correct them? it seems to me there is the problem, correction of sin or perhaps better the conviction of the Holy Spirit regarding one’s sin. We all seem to resist the reality of our own sin and consequently anyone who brings it to our attention. As a pastor i believe my calling is to help us all understand the reality of our sin and then offer the solution of Jesus, “repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand”. They must go hand in hand, they are contextually inseparable.
Robert Hook on Mon, September 21, 2009

Tom, the woman he refers to was not a Christian. So the rules do not apply in her case.

The whole world turned upside down when Jesus died. Problem is that it is hard to take so we use our logic right it and use the rule book as justification.

Yes, you are right no one should use the pulpit to preach anything other than Jesus.

Sadly, the question was loaded from the start - How would you reply to this LESBIAN. The gun was cocked - all some had to do was pull the trigger.
radicalron on Mon, September 21, 2009

I appreciate the fact that this young woman believes that she is ok in her own skin and so should everyone else be in regards to her choice to commit sexual sins outside the bonds of biblical marriage. She is convinced that her choices are hers alone and that the Bible has no jurisdiction over her life. The plain fact is this, regardless of our opinions, scripture speaks to the issue of sin and specifically to this particular choice to disobey the natural order of God’s creation. We can all opine, take sides, be magnanimous and tolerant in our interpretations, and try to level the field by pointing to other bad behaviors, but that doesn’t change God’s opinion. He hates sin, he is not ok with sin, he will not excuse us for justifying our favorite sin, and he has told us that as we look at each other within the family of God, we can determine by the fruits produced whether or not someone belongs to him. When someone truly surrenders to the grace, mercy, love, and redemptive action of God through the sacrifice of Christ, then they desire to allow God to work out the process of sanctification in their lives. We don’t get to pick and choose which sins we will keep as pets and which we will give to God. That’s the problem in “the Church” today. We feel the need to selectively apply apply God’s word or a lack thereof so as not to offend anyone or confront them with the truth. If we are not accountable for the choices we make, then Jesus died for nothing anf the Bible is a lie. We serve a holy God if we are believers, and he demands that we move towards a condition of holiness based on the righteousness of Christ. Have a blessed day!
Tim on Mon, September 21, 2009

I think that the issue here needs to be “unrepentant sin.”
Of course we all sin. But do we continue in sin without the acknowledgement that it is sin and get angry at people that point out that it is sin?
Should homosexuals be allowed in church - of course!
Should they be allowed to be members in good standing?
Not if they are choosing not to deal with their sin (which includes disagreeing that it is sin).
Carl Redding on Mon, September 21, 2009

Shame on us!! Shame on them!! I hate Christians when they act like idiots! The church was designed for people to come in with whatever they have burdening them! It is not our responsibility to tell them of their sins, just to love them! As a youth pastor I see our church people sometimes treat young people poorly just because of the way they “look” or act. What a shame! Christians should start by reading the Bible…, interesting concept, Jesus never treated anyone like we do in our churches! How many people have you rejected out of eternity? Sad, think about it!
Preacher Mike on Mon, September 21, 2009

my question for consideration is; Is there a difference between committing a sin and a lifestyle of sin?
Rev. Terry Zimmerman on Mon, September 21, 2009

I’m a pastor of a church in Dallas TX. I’d invite her to my church! Yesterday, 1/5 of our church membership participated in the Dallas Gay Pride Parade. I wore a t-shirt that had the words “FREE HUGS” on it. I couldn’t count the number of takers i had along the parade route.

I showed meager human hospitality, acceptance and love and was touched at how important receiving it meant to so many. how much more does the hospitality, love and acceptance of the One whom I profess to follow must matter!

Homosexuality occurs elsewhere in creation so we shouldn’t be surprised that it occurs in human beings. Our congregation—where all are welcome no matter age, gender, economic or physical or intellectual level, no matter education achieved or sexual orintation—is blessed by God as a loving, caring, compassionate church.

Our tag line is “BE inclusive. DO justice. HONOR diversity.” This is how we understand the Gospel.

Rev. Terry Zimmerman
Midway Hills Christian Church
Dallas TX
rbud on Mon, September 21, 2009

Why is a homosexual offense so much worse than a heterosexual offense? I see it differently. For a married person to engage in extramarital sex, it’s worse, because they sin three times. They sin for the sex, they sin against the covenant made in marriage with their spouse, and they sin against the covenant made before God and in His name. A triple sin, so to speak.

We are freaky about gay sex and tend to treat it differently from straight sex. It’s illogical perhaps, but that’s they way most good church people are. Perhaps its because we are afraid of gay sex. People tend to see all gays as aggressive and exploitive of straights, which is not true. Statistically, far more sex crimes are heterosexual in origin.

If a church is to exclude anyone who sins, who would be left? I’d rather have all those sinners in church where they can have a chance to realize the Biblical truths and grow in spirit and faith. The Apostle Paul pointed out clearly that coming to terms with faith and law is a process. How can the process move forward if we exclude the very ones who need the nurturing?

Frankly, I don’t like dwelling on these kinds of issues. It tends to make us overlook other issues that are just as, or more, important. Sins of greed, fraud, dishonesty, adultery and mean-spirit are far more invasive and destructive in my experience.
pastor robby on Mon, September 21, 2009

@carlredding “It is not our responsibility to tell them of their sins, just to love them!”
Come on brother you can’t be serious! Well, Peter did, Paul did, are we not in a line with them? As a pastor, I beleive I am, who will call the church or the lost to repentance, if not the Christians. Isn’t it part of disciple making? I think beleive it is.
Jeremy on Mon, September 21, 2009

Todd, thought provoking situation. I think the question in her mind isn’t if her lifestyle is wrong, but is it wrong in context to other behavior that church people consider more “socially acceptible”. Her reaction is normal because it is in line with how the church treats sin differently based on how it fits or opposes their preferences as opposed to The Word of God. If the church demonstrated that it hated all sin the way God hates sin, there would not be any confusion. So, I would start with an apology. An apology on behalf of the body of Christ for making light of sin that we don’t find offensive. Those are my thoughts. What is more powerful? The thought that her behaviors aren’t sin and so God should be okay with it or that despite the ugliness of all of our sin, God loves us, desires a relationship with us, and has given us power to overcome those sins that destroy us?
Carl Redding on Mon, September 21, 2009

@pastorrobby huh, you have taken it upon yourself to tell people of their sins, but what would happen if someone got up in your pulpit and started sharing yours with your people… ohh, that’s different? I forgot, pride! Peter and Paul preached to whoever was there didn’t they? They weren’t exclusive to their crowd. I am not watering down the Gospel here, I preach the salvation that Jesus brought to us through His death on the cross, and I also preach the Baptism in the Holy Spirit as the Disciples experienced in Acts 2:4. But I will not and am not called to try to convict people of their sin! That is the job of the Holy Spirit and His power!! So I will leave that up to God and just simply do what He called me to do!
pastor robby on Mon, September 21, 2009

I guess I’m missing the whole thing here. Homosexuality is a sin. All people are sinners. All sinners are under a death sentence until we repent of our sin, accept the Lord Jesus as our Savior and follow Him. Repenting of sin means turning away from it, accepting Jesus as Lord means giving Him rule over our life, following Him means agreeing with Him, obeying His command to sin no more. So doesn’t this apply to the homosexual the same as it does to other sinners and aren’t we the messengers of this truth to all who have or are sinning? I’m so confused by this, “we can’t call sin what it is and sinners to repentance or we are judgmental/unloving and we are to just love them until they figure it all out some how on their own”. I must be reading the wrong Bible the wrong way.