My observations would be primarily agreeing with #’s 2, 4, 5, and somewhat 6.

#2--They are finding their own way; for the first time they get to make their own choices and “nobody can tell them what to do.” Now, when they have that first child they are realizing that they need the ministry again. Other crisis may also alert them to return to their spiritual roots.

#4--Oh yes. Haves and Have Nots. We put so much emphasis on kids “going off to college.” What about the ones staying home and working at Jiffy Lube? Do we not unconsciously exclude that bunch with our love affair with higher education? this is a major issue to me, because there is nothing that depreciates the esteem more than the message that “honest work with your hands is second-class.” Maybe the have nots weren’t valued. Plus, they lack the anchor of solid family support.

#5--I came to the church for the relationships (i.e., chicks), and found Christ instead. I was saved in high school , the result of youth ministry. I see none of those people, not for at least 20 of the 26 years since I graduated. Jesus is still there. A major shock comes when you graduate and that circle of friends disappears. I have often wondered if I hadn’t been convicted of my calling before graduation if I wouldn’t have fallen by the wayside.

#6--Simply put--youth ministry segregates youth from the life of the rest of the church. Integration now.

Of course, what did Jesus say about seeds falling on different kinds of soil? How would that affect this issue?

#2 was me.  I walked away from the church after high school.  In the end I had to decide the faith I had was mine not my parents.  Most kids who grow up in the church need to do this.

#6 is true.  In our honest desire to keep kids connected to the church.  We work hard at entertaining them, catering to them.  We inadvertantly create the consumer mentality.  Then after HS we dump them out into the regular church body. 

But I think he missed #7.  The hypocrisy of us adults.  The kids see our “transformation” as we walk through the doors of the church from hurt angry people to smiling “God bless you” people.  They see how we as parents talk about others inthe church.  They see us around town.  They hear how we act in congregatioanal meetings when we don’t get our way.  They see that day to day our lives don’t refelct either the holiness of God or the love of Christ.  Young people still value authenticity and we are losing it.

Great thoughts, great comments.  I might think to add a couple more.

8.  Years of parents grounding from youth ministry activities but not sporting or school events - faith gets crowded out over the priorities of a school based life.

9. Youth ministries that forget GROWTH is based on both teaching AND practice.  gotta get em out end doing what we talk about so they can get practical experience with God moving in their lives.

I believe students are confused. Michael K is right, parents will ground students from Student Ministries, but not sports or jobs or school extra curriculars. That is a majorly confusing message.

And to add to Michael’s #9, students are looking for relationship, connection, and purpose. So many student ministries are focusing on playing together (community building times) without much purpose. But hey, we’ve got lots of kids here, right?!? Students are looking for signficant relationships - with Christ, with peers, and with adults - that last. If they have relationships that last, they stick; they feel connected. Most student ministries are so focused on student ministries they don’t give students opportunities to connect with the rest of the local church - children’s ministries, corporate worship services, and other ministries. They are looking for value and purpose, but there is nothing available to them in the church that gives them what they’re looking for. Let them serve as ushers. Let them help in children’s ministry. Let them be greeters. Let them? Why do we seek out adults for these simple roles, but we “allow” students to do them under a careful, watchful, suspicious eye?

When students are connected and feel value and purpose in the church during their student ministry years, they know that when they leave home and go to a new city, they will have value to a new ministry. So they go looking and get connected and serve. They don’t walk out the door; they just change doors.

I did a little survey among our youth in our church to get a good understanding of their home life. Understand their home life and you’ll get a better understanding of what and who you are dealing with and how to better minister to them. To make the ten question survey short, I discovered that 95% of our youth (around 50) did not have a close relationship with one or both of their parents. 2. The average youth spent 0-10 minutes a day at the most talking to their parents. 3. They rarely eat meals together as a family.
4. They do not read the Bible together as a family and 5. the only time they pray together is for meals which are very rare. Virtually there is no real spiritual foundation in their homes which are suppose to be Christiam homes. It always goes back to the home. They are Christians in homes where there is no Christianity. This is just my church but I think we need to educate the parents on their Biblical repsonsibilty for their children.