Funny, unfortunately I’ve seen half of those shows and only 2 of them actually won the competition and STILL didn’t get the “success” they wanted after the show.

I don’ have an answer to the question.  This is a thought that I have never had.  But I’m in seminary right now and will possibly be in full time ministry at some point in the future so it interests me a scares me a little to think about this being a problem, but I recognize that it may be. 

I just don’t know the answer so I am looking forward to the comments!!

Since I think the term “friend” has been made shallow over the years my answer is, “ I’m not here to make friends.”

As brothers and sisters in Christ and pastors, it is our job to build relationships.  In doing so we define appropriate boundaries on personal stuff and yet are still authentic.  In building relationships we can have lots of fun but also have the credibility to confront if needed.  It is a life of truth.

I am really glad there is no reality show called “Survival of Americas Next Top Pastor!” Oh the horror! 

YES.  Friendships can hinder your ministry, especially when those friends suddenly disagree with you… Or, when they see how human you are.  Friends tend to let their hair down, and trust each other and often when those friendships are within the church, it can backfire and the humanity of the pastor actually becomes an issue.  After all, don’t you know we walk on water?

I was told just before I went to my first church, “be careful of those that welcome you the most and want to get the closest to you, as they are often the ones that turn on you when things don’t go their way.” That person was right.

I remember a book back some time ago called, “The Friendless American Male.” Now that that concept and multiply it in a pastor’s case because he almost always has to be guarded.

I’m a HUGE Survivor and Amazing Race fan. Those shows are GAMES! The people that tend to play those games poorly, get the feelings hurt, and ultimately lose are usually the ones that want to be everyone’s buddy.
With ministry, this is different. The old mind-set of ministry (at least what i’ve witnessed) is to ‘not make friends if you’re a pastor because someone might stab you in the back’ and to ‘not get too close to someone or share your feelings with them because then you won’t be able to counsel them because you’ll be on the same level.’ This was ridiculous! Today people long for and crave authenticity and relationship. Ministry won’t be done in the long term amongst people you don’t have a relationship with. Case in point: Jesus

This is SO wrong! “Not here to make friends, but to win a competition!” Give me a break!

As for pastors and church staff being guarded - ministry is messy, being kicked to the curb by someone you trusted hurts, but it’s God’s way and will, and worth it. What if Jesus put up the same kind of wall between Himself and his disciples - would He have even bothered to redeem us?

Although I think it is good to have friends at the church I do believe it is best that your closest friends are outside the church. I have a seminary friend that I speak with daily and can share anything with him. Things that I don’t believe would be wise to share with church members. Also, for those who believe that a pastor should pursue friendships at church, I firmly believe it should not be with members of the same gender. You are asking for trouble.