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Are You Truthful in the Small Things?
Orginally published on Monday, October 20, 2008 at 8:00 AM
by Todd Rhoades
Albert Einstein once said that “whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with the important matters”.
Are you trustworthy in the small matters?
For example, are you completely trustworthy and honest in your email correspondence?
According to a new study by Lehigh University, people are significantly more likely to lie in e-mail messages than in traditional pen-and-paper communications.
Luiba Belkin, who was in charge of the study said “There is a growing concern in the workplace over e-mail communications, and it comes down to trust…You’re not afforded the luxury of seeing non-verbal and behavioral cues over e-mail. And in an organizational context, that leaves a lot of room for misinterpretation and, as we saw in our study, intentional deception.”
“Intentional Deception”? Wow, that’s another word for… well… lie!
Like when someone asks your opinion of how a certain ministry or program is doing?
Or if you like their idea about starting a new puppet ministry.
If you’re a pastor or church leader, don’t fool yourself! You’ll have a tendency to embellish or shade the truth each and every day you’re in ministry. And email is a safe place to test that boundary.
Remember Einstein’s words? Whoever is careless with truth in small matters (like email) cannot be trusted with the important matters.
Take a pledge this week as you utilize your email account. Be trustworthy and honest. Don’t shade the truth. And don’t lie to someone. Email makes the temptation much more profound in each of our workdays.
Have a great, truth-filled, week!
Todd
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There are 13 Comments:
Hi... I'm Todd Rhoades. I'm a chronic workaholic, love to connect leaders with other leaders, and would consider myself somewhat of a 'maven'. Hopefully you'll find something here at MMI you'll like and will return often. If you want, you can find out more about me or follow my every step.
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Posted by Peter Hamm
Monday, October 20, 2008 at 8:48 AM
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Monday, October 20, 2008 at 8:53 AM
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Monday, October 20, 2008 at 9:02 AM
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Monday, October 20, 2008 at 10:00 AM
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Monday, October 20, 2008 at 10:06 AM
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Monday, October 20, 2008 at 10:12 AM
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Tuesday, October 21, 2008 at 6:40 PM
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Posted by mitch@ teak furniture
Wednesday, October 22, 2008 at 2:48 AM
Post Your Comments:If it’s in print, I’m even more careful about what I say than when I speak. For me it’s the opposite. I’ll bet I’m more likely to lie when I speak. For instance when I post ANY statement on the internet, I’m ridiculously careful with my wording and stuff.
Todd:
Great post. We, as pastors, though have to be cautious too!
A good example is your puppet ministry illustration. Someone emails me and says what do you think about a puppet ministry?
(Now if I really told them the truth - would it be edifying or not?) (If I said in my email rather than face to face that I think that’s the dumbest idea ever and you should never try it ...what would that do? Devastate the person.)
So I might email and say it wouldn’t hurt to at least try it. (What does that do? Did I just deceive and lie? No ...did I tell the truth? Sure. Did I say everything I thought? No.) It helps people to learn, grow, experiment and learn from failing or successes.
In all things discernment, use wisdom.
Kind of like your wife asking you? Does this dress make me look fat? (Now think about the possible outcomes of such a question and your responses.)
Say YES and sleep in the doghouse.
Say No ...and she thinks you’re lying.
Say nothing, and say I have to go and change the subject might be a good attempt.
Anyways. My 2 cents.
Jesus must have been some kind of Einstein, way ahead of his time.
Luke 16:10
Great article! Interesting. Thanks
I’m with you, Peter. That actually baffles me that people would be bolder to lie with something that’s already a horrible form of communication and a potentially permanent record at that.
I’m more personally concerned about the officially sanctioned lie that says “I’ll be praying for you” when we don’t.
E-mail is wonderful. It has not, in my opinion, made us better communicators. It has afforded us the confined limit of facial and body language, which according to Todd’s article, is a lack in e-mail. Amazing that e-mail now is proven to encourage lying! Integrity has in recent years been pushed to the side. May the Lord help us all to be godly men and women of integrity, first of all in our hearts.
Yes, Andy!
I came up with a way to deal with that “I’ll pray for you” thing. Do it then. Right then. Right now. Immediately. Don’t write it down, just do it immediately. This works for me most of the time.
I dont know if email makes you “lie more”. Ive had a number of pastors lie right to my face, and it seemed easy to them, without any guilt.
I think the only thing email has done is take out the “human equation” out of communicating to each other. You dont feel love in an email, but you do when someone is in front of you even when they dont say a word-its in their eyes.
Get off the computers “pastors” and start talking face-to-face (and dont forget to leave that latest book behind-you dont need a gimmick to show you care)
I’m with Peter on this one .... anytime you write something down you go out of your way to be more nuanced, telling the truth in such a way that it cannot be misinterpreted.
We don’t have to tell someone that they’re living in a different age if we reject their puppet ministry idea but being truthful is important .... “We encourage people to be creative and give us new ideas ... they all get processed ... we’ve decided at this time not to move forward with the suggestion of a puppet ministry.”
I think people ‘lie’ in email because they’re afraid of confrontation or in ministry terms “maybe Mrs. Jones will get upset etc.”
What I do alot is when I believe an email will be received poorly because of the truth I must convey I will ask for a personal meeting to discuss the situation where facial expressions, tone of voice, and give and take can occur and be accounted for.
Personally, email is suppose to be a short intro - not a dissertation of the situation. It only communicated very shortly how to proceed.
It can be read into or not enough. Face to face is best. Do we lie? Depends. Should we? No.
With all things as I’ve said use discernment.
I, and probably most of you, have see a lot of intentional deception recently in many of the political emails other Christians have sent me. People forward outlandish stuff on - rationalizing, I think, that since they didn’t write it they can go ahead and slander a candidate and feel good about themselves for doing it. If it supports their political leanings, it seems like they give no thought to checking out a story before passing it on. What ever happened to “You shall not bear false witness”?
We have all received the outlandish e-mails referred to by heritagenj. I always go to TruthorFiction.com to check them out and if there is something there I send the web address for that particular e-mail to the party that sent it to me. Sometimes I get a reply of thanks for setting things straight if it was false but not always. Most seem to believe or accept that if it is on the Internet it must be true. How true and how sad.
Trust is very important for me, that’s why i hate any form of lies. Honesty is still the best policy.
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