Building the Perfect Church: eeing the Church Through (Blinding) Rose-Colored Glasses

Orginally published on Thursday, March 03, 2005 at 8:55 AM
by Todd Rhoades

No matter how good the structure, the other three components, culture, interpersonal interactions, and individual behavior are also part of the mix.  Without a nail holding all four of these areas in place, destructive conflict is inevitable because no mechanism is in place to convert conflict into a positive force. 

Consider the following chart.

Seeing Through (Blinding) Rose Colored Glasses

As most adults know, communication breakdowns are a major cause of marital difficulties. Counselors will often design ways for couples to more effectively communicate to one another, and this is good. But consider, if communication between two people can readily break down, how much more is this the case when the 2 becomes 20, 200, or 2000? In organizations, of which the church is one, this can be a very serious problem. Exacerbating this problem, consider the three following observations about organizational life:

“Information that comes in at the bottom of the hierarchy is filtered as it goes up the hierarchy, and by the time it reaches the top it may produce images of the world that are quite unrealistic. This is particularly true of bad news.‿ (Kenneth Boulding).

“The higher you are promoted in an organization, the more insulated you become from the realities of people at lower levels‿ (Michael Doyle and David Straus).

“Bad news is unlikely to get to the people who can actually do something about it‿ (Chip Heath).

The reality is, leaders typically know less of an organization’s reality than they realize, and what they do know tends to be overly optimistic – seen through (blinding) rose colored glasses. Without a system in place to process people’s concerns, the pastors or other church leaders typically will not hear about problems until they are in their latter, often destructive, stages.

A few years ago, I was writing an analysis for one church. A couple of days before my interviews with the two associate pastors, a family in the church resigned their membership. This caught both associates off guard. Nothing had been said by the family to indicate that a problem existed. Prior to their letter, the family indicated they didn’t feel comfortable vocalizing their concerns. In essence they said, “if everything is so great at the church, who are we to criticize?‿

The Missing Nail: Do Church Without It At Your Own Peril

The “perfect church‿ is one where love for the Lord and one another are the highest priorities. But with the four overlapping areas that impact every congregation, and increasing numbers of people, it is a delicate balancing act. What can preserve alignment is a process that is designed to convert tension into energy leading to a more effective ministry and deeper interpersonal relationships. The particular system I offer churches, the “Guardian,‿ is based on the most fundamental theological tenants of Scripture. It also meets the need spoken of by Dr. Jeffery Gaskins in his doctoral dissertation. “The research supports the conclusion that only as churches carefully use conflict management strategies can church growth strategies facilitate sustained growth.‿

Building the perfect church is no easy task. Having a system in place that serves as a central processor of tensions will preserve the kind of long-term stability that church communities absolutely need. It is the mechanism that can change interpersonal conflict, an inevitable reality where two or more people exist, from a negative force to a positive one. This is the nail that is all too often missing. And as we know, “for want of a nail…‿

Discussion

Share with the rest of us those systems or processes that have served your churches well. How did they work? What was their Biblical basis? Conversely, are there situations that required a “conversion mechanism‿ that was not available? What was the outcome? On reflection, what do you think could have been in place that would have made a positive difference?

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© 2005 Kenneth C. Newberger Ken Newberger, an experienced church conflict resolution specialist, earned his Th.M. from Dallas Theological Seminary, has ten years senior pastoral experience, and is in the dissertation phase for his Ph.D. in Conflict Analysis and Resolution at Nova Southeastern University, one of only two accredited doctoral programs of its kind in the United States. If your church needs help resolving conflict, if you need individual coaching, or if you would like to introduce a proactive conflict management system into your church, please visit Ken's website at http://www.ResolveChurchConflict.com or call 301-253-8877.

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