From number of responses it appears this “church hopping” is a major concern. I have a different twist to this story.  As an administrator of a Christian School, we started to receive numerous inquiries and conversations from families of a neighboring Christian school seeking to leave that school.  After several inquiries, I wanted the other administrator (whom I knew only by name) what was happening.  I called him.  He poured out his heart to me and thanked me that I would care enough to find out from him what was occurring.  After talking to him, I encouraged some of these families to reconsider there decision to uproot their precious sons and daughters and remain with the school until the storm passes.  Some families did stay at the school.  Some still came to our school seeing that we cared.  Others left and went to a third school down the street.  About a year later this happened to our school.  I did not receive any phone calls or communication from the third school down the street.  In matter of fact, I learned they were aggressively trying to recruit some of our families.  Unfortunately, it both situations the focus was on money not on what was best for children.

Hopefully a church is where hurting people can be loved, experience God’s forgiveness, acceptance, hope, grace and mercy.  Then a minister is hired who decides to make his mark and forgets the work that’s laid the foundation.  Couple this with a new group arriving from two previous church splits and this church splits.  Rather than fight, the founders quietly leave them with a mortgage free building and start again with nothing and with the same basic constitution, goals and most of the first members only to have another pastor decide to change everything again nine years later, destroying the original vision once again.  The fruit: lies, conflict, disunity, name calling and ostracization.  The hate, grief, damage to S.S. teachers caused all the elders, trustees, and many other positions to flee.  They are labeled troublemakers because in the desire not to gossip, harm the body of Christ, or say things that could be further twisted, they remain silent.  The minister refused to reconcile when confronted.  Jesus was missing in action but the Pharisees were alive and well. The idea of “my way or the highway” loomed ever present.  In the pursuit of more numbers, bigger programs, etc., the once respected leaders now had to go.  It is difficult to watch a work ripped away for the glory of a spiritual leader who wants to stand where Jesus is supposed to be.

When leaders get new people from another church, it gives them the shot in the arm to refuse accountability from the existing leadership as there is now a new audience to play to and since they are unaware of the past mischief there are new ones to replace the old ones who leave damaged and broken.  Instead of seeking the lost sheep, the mature ones are being driven like cattle out the door because they dared stand in the gate protecting innocent lambs from the one who wore a collar and it wasn’t on the sheep dog. They worked, gave their money, time and energy to have it taken down by the one who was hired to protect them.  No wonder Jesus spoke harshly and took a whip to those in the temple.

Sometimes one has to isolate from those who harm us.  One who is arrogant and demeans others from their superior attitude will mistreat those they lord it over.  It is sad if other Christians refuse to receive those wounded fleeing sheep as part of their fellowship.  I thought God configured His church...not powerful leaders who seek to be gatekeepers.

I am a Pastor of a new start ( 16 months now). The work has had very little transfer growth. The doors opened with 14 and now average 65. I made an intentional effort to avoid transfer growth. If someone wanted to join. I would meet with them to et the full picture - why they were leaving their church. If they expressed that it was becasue of a problem then I would tell them they needed to speak with their Pastor and try to work out the issue. If afterwards they felt that they still needed to leave, I would encourage them to really seek where it was God was leading them. It has been tempting to say “come on in”, especially being a small/new work, but i really feel that God has honored this process.

With that being said, recently we have had numerous people coming from another church that I was formerly on staff. I am happy to see them but at the same time feel weird about them coming, knowing that the other church is hurting. These people stress that they were leaving that work - that God has impressed upon them that their time at that church was done.

I have tried to speak with the other Pastor but he blamed me for the trouble they are having, he said that it has been bad since I left 2 years ago. He is unwilling to have a “conversation”.

What do I do?