About forgiveness, there’s a powerful new movie out with this theme.  It’s a dramady called “Diary of a mad black woman.” It introduces God, the Bible, prayer, Jesus, and forgiveness, in a humorous/serious and non-threatening way.  It would be a great movie to take non-believers to, and those suffering with unforgiveness.

As for the question, could we forgive such a man (from the intro story)… I think we should answer after contemplating:

Matthew 18:
“The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant”

21Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”
22Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventyseven times.[f]

23“Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents[g] was brought to him. 25Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

26“The servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

28“But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii.[h] He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.

29“His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’

30“But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.

32“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

35“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”

...Bernie
http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/247

Our church is dealing with issues involving reconciliation and forgiveness. This impacts me personally because there is a difference of opinion on whether I have committed an offense. Some contend I have, and that I should ask forgiveness for that offense, but I contend otherwise. I believe that I have done something they disagree with, but which is not offensive. (I could give you details, but it would take too much space.) Here’s my question: let’s assume that I have, in fact, done nothing wrong or offensive. Am I wrong in not seeking their forgiveness anyway as a path to possible reconciliation? (I should also tell you that it is my personal assessment that, were I to ask for forgiveness, no reconciliation would actually occur; that my apology would actually be used against me.) I genuinly seek reconciliation, however I consider it an unatainable goal.

Forgiveness is at times the hardest thing to do especially when the act against you is severe and repeated often. This was true of the Jews in concentration camps. The story does bring to light a basic principle for us to see and understand. That is that man without God is not able to forgive and that the majority of men throughout history (there are some exceptions) have never attained a relationship with God even after Moses introduced the law.

It was not until Christ came, made known to us the Father, and sent his Holy Spirit to indwell us that mankind begin to fellowship and know the Father intimately. To forgive great harm against oneself or against those you love requires the fruits of the Spirit. The Jew in the story had not Christ therefore no fruit of the Spirit and because he had not Christ, his relationship to God was only head knowledge like so many of us today.  Thus, one who only has head knowledge of God is incapable to love unconditionally and cannot forgive. 

I once prayed to the Lord to help me love as he loved. I wanted to experience the love of God so much, that I even fasted and prayed for the experience of unconditional love. One day my eyes where opened to the unspoken systems of the world. I found myself wondering how could I have attained the age of 46 and have been so blinded to the world around me. I was in South America working for a company when I had this experience. As I looked around, I was shocked at the compromise of the world and became very troubled and depressed. When I asked people about what I was seeing they acted like they didn’t know what I was talking about and had it not been that I was grounded in the faith and maintained a personal relationship with Christ I probably who have gone loco.

I grew to hate the hypocrisy of the people who represented leaders of the Church and if I could have, I would have called down fire from heaven upon all the earth. I was crushed emotionally and the greatest hurt came when those closest to me, the ones I loved the most my own family treated me the same and in public at times turned their back to me. Actions I am sure they thought went unnoticed yet were being revealed to me by the Holy Spirit. At first it was easy for me to hate the people I saw acting in the unspoken ways of the world until I saw my own loved ones acting the same way. Prior to seeing my loved ones doing the same things I wanted to just pour gasoline on it all and let it burn because of the corruption I was witnessing in such grand scale. But when I realized that MY LOVED ONES were guilty the whole scene changed. I was able to forgive my loved ones actions towards me even though to this day they deny anything concerning the unspoken systems of the world. Don’t think it was easy for me to forgive my Loved ones it was not and I even contemplated divorce. It was just beyond me that those I loved so much even to the point of dying for them could be so cruel and have the ability to lie so easily. It was in this deep depression as I went to God to ask of Him why. As I prayed the Lord spoke to me audibly at least I know I heard Him I’m not sure if it was with my mind or with my ears, but it was audible. The Lord reminded of my prayer of wanting to know and experience what unconditional love really was. I heard him say “I have removed the veil from your eyes only partially that you may see and experience what I see and experience from those I have created in my image. From my first breath into clay, I have loved them for I made them to fellowship with me. Yet they have not acknowledged me nor have they sought me with all their Heart even though it is I who clothes and feeds them. When sin separated them from me, I loved them still and sent my only begotten Son to die for them so that I could forgive their sins and restore the fellowship that was lost through sin. And even now, many trample underfoot the blood of my Son and have not understood the cost of their redemption. Yet I have not withheld my love from them. The seasons continue to come and go until the appointed time when judgment will come. I have allowed you to see only a little of what I see daily and you desire to call down fire from Heaven. Daniel have you forgotten how much I have forgiven you? Were you not worthy of death before the precious blood of my son covered you? And since you have been forgiven much can you not forgive?” I repented.

It was during this time in my life that I begin to partially understand the unconditional love that God has for his creation. It is that same love that was expressed at Calvary when our savior spoke and said “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” So it is that man without Christ will always be incapable of forgiving, but in Christ all things are possible.  God bless you my brothers.  Behold our King soon comes!

The true tragedy of unforgiveness is that it is most often the one unwilling to forgive who is the most trapped! There is a renowned murder case in the UK in which a man and woman were convicted of murdering two children and sentenced to life imprisonment. During the course of her sentence the woman made a very real commitment to Christ (I know it was real as the prison governorwas associated with Prison Fellowship and a personal friend at the time).
After some thirty years in jail a number of people,including the governor in question and some notable politicians, asked that consideration be given to granting her parole. Please note that she did not make the request for herself it was others who were convinced that the changes she had made in her life and the years she had already served warranted the consideration of parole.
Every time the question was raised over a number of years the mother of one of the victims relived her pain through the media in the most dramatic way. She appealed to anyone and everyone to reject any releif for the one who had caused her so much grief. As a result of her tragic inabilty to forgive it was not just her but also the entire population, many of whom were not even alive when the events occured, who relived the pain.
Public opinion was confronted with a dilema, to fly in the face of this mothers thirty years of pain or continue to leave an aging, manifestedly reformed and repentant woman to live out her years behind bars.
To the best of my knowledge (I have been in the US for 11 years) the woman remains in prison but at peace with her circumstances. The mother however remains trapped in the pain of her own inabilty to forgive.
So in considering the merits of granting forgiveness it is important to realise that when we offer forgivness we set our selves free from the pain of carrying misery and resentment for extended periods of time.