I refuse to read the linked story. This was an inappropriate release of information, imho. Let’s take the high road and drop it.

It’s also why I’m VERY careful about what I share and who with in many areas of my life.

Good advice out of this… Be REAL careful to have “safe people” and be real careful with them even when you determine that they are safe. I have NOT had to learn this lesson the hard way so far…

btw, Todd, I didn’t mean to criticize your posting of the story above. I just hoped that the discussion would turn away from gossip. Perhaps it will.

If you’ve been friends for 20 years, and he’s still not trustworthy--who is?

A carpenter or accountant does this, we keep the secret; the pastor does it, it’s in the paper. Andy is exactly right--as much as we’d like to be honest, the fact that we would be sharing with another sinful human means the risk is too great.

I agree Peter, I also did not link.  It is imperative to have confidants and accountability but finding that is also hugely difficult.

bishopdave:

“If you’ve been friends for 20 years, and he’s still not trustworthy--who is?”

Jesus.  And that’s some great news.  =)

--
CS

I am totally confused why Serpe would send a private email to the press. Isn’t it simply wrong? If he is truly Haggard’s friend, should he not go and confront Haggard privately first and ask Haggard to tell the truth?

Being in the ministry is already a challenging thing. The loneliness is not easy to bear. I consider it extremely difficult to find a friend or accountability partner to whom I can be transparent and vulnerable. I need my brother to be with me. This is perhaps how God wired me. Now, knowing that what I share privately might be used against me at a later time, and even publicly, really bothers me.

You guys have learned zilch from Brother Ted’s example (EXCEPT to keep your personal deceits entirely Hush Hush).

May I suggest to you that Brother Ted didn’t get to where he is today because a male prostitute jerked him off and sold him drugs. It’s because Ted built a big-box career upon the foundation of DAMNING OTHERS TO HELL for the sin he himself thoroughly enjoyed in his personal life. It’s that “contrast” between public leadership and private immorality that offends, not the immorality itself. You Elmer Gantries might think about that, seeing as how your number one concern, expressed in these comments, is only to cover your own butts.

Oh, and please tell me you’re not so ignorant of the manipulative personality that you believe Ted’s e-mail confession covers all of the shenanigans that occurred between him and that prostitute.

Kindly lay off the high and mighty, LL, and don’t blame me if the posters here, thus far, have largely bemoaned the fact that pastors/leaders are expected to be accountable and dare not trust their acquaintances with the details of the goings-on in their life. Cleary, the posters here believe they have things to hide. And thus they say things like: ¶ “If you’ve been friends for 20 years, and he’s still not trustworthy--who is?” ¶ Ted led an extraordinary life, which is circling back to bite him. That’s called accountability. Ted earned the notoriety he’s receiving, and the publication of Serpe’s e-mail is a part of that. The issue is Ted; the lies he lived; the organizational structures and culture that allowed him to thrive for so long. Thank God that Serpe had the integrity to demand truthfulness from Ted and the wisdom to make Ted’s explanation available to all. ¶ The details of “Mr. Haggard’s moral fall” are 100% our business, as were the 20 years of hate speech, right-wing politics, and heretical Christianity that preceded his fall. ¶ But, I wonder if the posters here, who are so fearful of practicing honesty and openness among their intimates, are also leading lives as duplicitous as Ted’s; are also married to cultures that blithely foster the deception of those who the poster is leading.

Thanks anon, for your input… but from now on, please put a real name and email with your post.  You can harp all you want to about the comments here, but they ring hollow when you hide behind anonymity.

By the way… hi… I’m Todd… the site owner. 

Todd

Tim, Thanks for identifying yourself.  I think the next step would be to ask some questions that are not loaded accusations about all of us wanting to cover our butts or about our motives for what we say.  Ask some questions about what makes it difficult for pastors and leaders to trust, don;t just assume it is because we are hiding something.  I would love to dialog with you but I don’t want to wade through accusations dressed as loaded questions. 

I am not trying to avoid, just laying some groundwork for a conversation.  By the way, you can click my name and it directly e-mails me.  No hiding, real name and real person.  Thanks again,

Leonard Lee

TimPete100 Anon with the dead email,

Unlike you, we are fallible human beings. We recognize that. We look at Haggard and say, there but for the grace of God… Most of us, if not all, have not made a bundle or a big-box career out of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Why just this week, I’ve dealt with
*13-yr old attempting suicide
* 4 months of searching and getting a new staff member hired only to have him withdraw three days before starting date
*2 deaths
*$7800 a/c bill for the nursery area that houses low cost day care (sorry, we’re a ghetto church full of honest people who just don’t make millions regardless of how you choose to stereotype churches and their leadership)
*a long-time leader in the church suffering a stroke with no family closer to Texas than Tennessee.

So sometimes we like to unload. We may not be seeking out male prostitutes but it would be nice to be treated as human. This is isn’t about CYA, it’s about keeping failures like Haggard’s from happening. Haggard’s reaped what he’s sowed.

I’m sorry you don’t undestand, but sometimes outside your world, people get misquoted, people take things the wrong way, I kicked my dog just yesterday. I’m accountable, but if I share my bad day with you TimPete, are you going to pray for me or blab it to everyone you know? Who do we go to when we don’t get along with the spouse ? Lots of us live in bubbles of expectations that can’t be lived up to. I’m sure regardless of dialog, nobody here would ever live up to the expectations you’ve adopted since you received whatever anguish causes you to go after people like you have done.

I have to agree that my first reaction, as a pastor myself, was that this is precisely what a dual life leads to. Attacking this man for releasing the email is easy. But the real question is how would you react if someone you looked up to for 20 years were caught up in this type of behavior and then publicly denied and minimized it? His behavior had to feel like a deep betrayal.

As a pastor, I fully expect to be held to a higher standard. There was no new information in this email, other than the actual admission of what had already been established pretty clearly. What’s really sad is that a friend of 20 years has been put into a situation where even after this admission, he still doubts his former pastor’s truthfulness.

Every time I send an email, or make a comment on a blog, I realize it can be traced back to me. Don’t email anything you wouldn’t want in the papers.