I have to say that the lowest point in my ministry was about a year ago when my pastor allowed three non-Christian education supporters to become a major part of the official board of our church. I and other members were devastated; I have worked tirelessly trying to bring everyone into the light of Christian Education. When this was done it felt like a slap in the face.

I am facing the toughest days right now. I just resigned as the Worship Leader at our church last week. Being a new dad, full-time student, & trying to seek God’s will is getting me lately. My father-in-law is dying of cancer & my Dad just died 2 yrs. ago. For the last four years, I have truly turned my life over to God & am pursuing His will in everything I do. The problem I am having is that the more I seek Him, study His Word, and try to apply His truths...the more opposition I encounter. The bad thing is that the opposition comes from those inside the church, not outside of it. My wife & I have stepped out on faith...buying a sound system & keyboard, believing that God is leading us to more of an evangelism ministry. Today, as hard I have prayed, studied God’s Word, I honestly admit that I am discouraged. I can’t understand why those in leadership positions or even Christians, are the biggest stumbling blocks in my life. My heart is humble, my spirit is filled with humility, and I desire only to be a faithful servant of Christ. Yet, I am labeled a fanatic for wanting to stand on God’s Word and believe what it says. So, please pray that I will find a way to rejoice in this trial, see past the circumstances, and press on for God’s glory alone!

I’ve only been in ministry for a little over a year, and it’s tough to pinpoint times that I WOULDN’T call low points.  I come from a church that has a reputation for killing pastors, and it didn’t take me long to find out the truth behind that reputation.  The three things that get me through are
#1: I am the bread winner for myself and my new husband, so if I quit, we don’t eat. 

#2:  My teens - I recently inherited the youth group (I was hired to do music), and while I had to do major cutbacks in the program which caused a lot of uproar from the parents, my kids are wonderful, and I love them dearly.  Dealing with my congregation is draining - being with my kids fills me with energy. 

#3:  My new senior pastor, who is the most encouraging and protective boss I could ever imagine.  He makes it quite clear to me (and everyone else) all the time that I am doing with excellence EVERYTHING HE HAS ASKED ME TO DO, so the expectations and complaints of the congregation fall on HIM, not me.  This has helped me to feel so much stronger day-to-day, and while the circumstances of this toxic church life haven’t changed, my ability to cope and my freedom to trust and thrive under the yoke GOD has placed on me (not the one the congregation is trying to place) is slowly growing.

I am the children’s minister of a church of about 400. Eighten months ago our pastor of 12 years had an affair with the associate pastor’s wife. God spaired our church from destruction, but we have been without stable leadership for all this time. On top of the deep sense of personal loss and vision for our church, my job has been to remain stable for our congregation and the children and to continue on in the ministry God has given me. Satan continues to attack on a weekly basis in one area or another. I have told God I am ready to move on whenever He has something else for me to do, but He continues to have me remain in my current position. I am spirtually exhausted and people in my church are seeing it now.

Having served in the same church for some 10 years now, I have had times that were low points- anyone would.  I must say though the last 18 months have been the toughest.  To go from you highest point in ministry to your lowest is really tough.  To see your ministry grow from under 100 to high days of thousands and then watch it crumble heading back to where it started is enough to make anyone discouraged- especially when your working harder than ever before to keep it from sinking.

Have I wanted to quit? YES! Is it tempting when you have other churches calling nearly every week? YES!  Is there a group of people that need who I am and the ministry that I offer? YES! 

It is a funny thing, last night I counted up how many openings I have for workers in my one area of ministry and realized again that I have nearly 70 positions that need to be filled. That doesn’t count the person that filled a major leadership position that I had to remove 2 days ago.  Do I feel stretched beyond belief and overloaded? YES!

In closing, let me share a passage God gave me to encourage me.  Acts 7 talks about how Moses supposed that his bretheren would understand what he had done, they didn’t.  This is the Reality of diappointment.  Why didn’t Moses understand?  He took his eyes off the Lord- The Reason for disappointment.
Look a little further down though and you find the Remedy for Moses and his disaapointment- He had a burning bush experience.

For those of us who are close to quitting....we need to get our own burning bush experience and draw closer to the Lord than we have ever done before!  DON’T QUIT!!

You know what...? I was going to post my story about the difficulties of starting a new non-denominational church in a small town but after reading the other posts I feel like I’ve got no room whatsoever to complain to God about how things are going...and certainly no justification to quit.

I’m blessed! I’ve got a wonderful wife, a house to live in, four healthy children who are doing well and my parents (both in their 80s) are alive and doing great.

Some of the comments I’ve read reminds me of Ghandi’s famous quote, “I’d be a Christian if it weren’t for other Christians.”

It is indeed a shame that my toughest struggles in life have often been due to self-centered, egotistical pastors and obstinate, un-loving church members. I guess that reminds us who we’ve got to keep our eyes on, doesn’t it?

Seven years ago I was pastoring a Church in a Midwest city known to many as the belt buckle of the Bible Belt. I had planted a Church in the city a few years earlier and then merged with another fellowship wanting me as their pastor. In the joining of the two bodies I made a very foolish mistake by accepting the existing elders of the other body without question, and did not research their history for patterns of conflict or division.  We DO reap what we sew friends!

The result of my “unconditional acceptance” brought about the single greatest horror of my life and ministry!  At the same time I must say that it also brought about the greatest brokenness and growth in my life and future ministry as well! God is good and faithful all the time even though we are not!

What I had crawled into bed with was a Church controlled by a few power hungry men bent on maintaining their lily white country club environment and community-wide influence “at all cost!”

I, on the other hand (and the elders who came with me into the merger), was a very multi-cultural, servant oriented and discipleship focused Kingdom of God centered leader. I’m sure you can imagine the inevitable conflict arising out of such a partnership.

Well, it certainly got ugly, and it seemed that the more open, vulnerable, repentant and merciful I became, the greater the attack and venimous evil that came against my person, my leadership and my family.

By the time the dust settled over this battlefied the casualties were too numerous to count.

We had to bury the Church completely. We gave our $3.5M property to a Christian School. I was personally sued by the offending elders (a court battle in which I refused to participate but was completely vindicated of any wrong doing). My wife of 25 years was so devastated that she walked away from the Lord, the ministry and me.

Did I do everything righteously in that whole ordeal?  Absolutely NOT!  Did I make some bad choices and decisions?  You bet I did? Was this entirely a battle where I was the “man of God” suffering in following after Jesus? I wish I could believe that to be the truth, and I’ve come a long way in that direction. But I know the anger and even hatred that entered my heart at the time.  I remember not being able to pray for these men anymore and even losing sight of them as my brothers all together. I will never be able to forget the darkness in my own heart that wanted to abandon my trust in the Lord as my defender and enter the flesh and blood battle they were waging.

Above all else, I will never forget the indescribable pain, darkness and vacuum that entered my life, the day my wife left and I disqualified myself from continuing in my calling as a Pastor!

These are all “SCARS” that will be in and with me for the rest of my life! They will NEVER GO AWAY!

But here is the good news my friends and fellow servants of the Lord:

I am more grateful for these scars, the experience the represent, and my God having counted me worthy to fellowship in the sufferings of Christ, than any words will ever be able to describe.

Why is that?  Because I am healed! Because He is faithful and will continue to prefect that which He has begun in us! Because He knew the increase of power that would come upon my life in His Holy Spirit as a direct result of this valley of death experience!

The keys for all of us when we enter these times: is to embrace His judgment for it is there that we find His mercy; embrace the process of transformation that comes in our dying, the burial of our hopes and dreams, and the newness of life, freedom and power provided in our restoration and resurrection!  And be sure...BE SURE...to recognize those who do not abandon us in the time of such trial.

I was blessed to have a brother who truly knew my heart and loved me enough to not sit back and let me waste away in pain and bitterness. He gave me a few years actually to grieve, hide in my cave, and wear a big ring around my butt from sitting on my pitty pot.  But then, led by the Spirit of the Lord, he confronted me!

“Jim”, he said, “The call upon your life is without repentance on Father’s part! He has not disqualified you...you have done that to yourself! To the very best of your ability and with the measure of faith you had, you gave everything in an attempt to be found faitful as His servant.  God knows this, I know it, everyone involved who has any spiritual discernment knows it, and somewhere deep in your heart where His Truth resides, you have to know it yourself! So, Bro., if you don’t get off your tail and get back into what he has called you to be and do, I’m going to personally kick it for you!”

Well, I know that sounds crass and less than spiritual, but it was the “Word of God” for me and it divided between my soul and spirit and accomplished exactly what Father intended.

Today, I am blessed with the most wonderful wife I could ever have dreamed of. We have so deeply bonded in marriage and Him that He is beginning to bring forth new Vision for ministry arising directly out of our relationship. I am returning to my calling...but I return with a deeper resolve, a farther reaching love, a regenerated and relentless zeal, a freedom from ambition or the desire to please man rather than God, an ever increasing passion and intimacy in relationship with Him, and a doubtless understanding and discernment of the Body of Christ and my place, gift and role in the process of her maturing!

Sure, I walk with a spiritual limp today, and my life is covered with scars...but...SCARS my friends...are not WOUNDS!!  They are the evidence of wounds that have been HEALED!

You see, wounds disqualify us from ministry...but scars...qualify us for ministry!

So, find HIM in the process and embrace whatever HE IS DOING!!

Mondays are tough, aren’t they?

You really can’t win in ministry.  If you are at the hieght of great favor in your work, it becomes overwhelming.  If you are in the desert of conflict, you feel like quitting.  So, all we can do is lose ourselves to our Maker and find contentment in His evaluation of us--not ours, not the church boards, not the people in our church.  This is not easy to do, as many of you know.

I almost quit about three years ago--from ministry altogether.  I am so glad that I did not.  What a ride, albeit a painful one.

I graduated from seminary in 1995.  Sold my business in 1996 and went into full time ministry as a senior pastor.  Accepted the call to a church in Oregon and after 5 years felt the call into church planting. I kept meeting people at the golf course or fishing or in Rotary that said, “Jim we really like hanging with you, but church just doesn’t work for us.  We don’t really see anyone who we would like to hang around with.” OK, so I felt God was calling me to plant a church for people who didn’t like church.  Now, 3 three’s later after two attempts at church planting, I’m no longer part of my denomination and working a secular job as a loan consultant.  Long story short, I feel like a man without a country not being in the pulpit and not loving on a flock of people on a daily basis.  But guess what, God is so good.  I’m able to minister to the people in my office and to the potential clients that I talk to daily.  I know God’s timing is perfect, so I wait for him to open the door to the place he wants me to serve full time again.  In the mean time, I take what he gives me and try to be an encouragement to the church we are worshiping in each Sunday.  I tell people, “I don’t understand what God is up to with me, but what ever it is, it’s good enough for me.” He knows the desires of my heart and I’m know he has great plans.  In the mean time, I serve how ever and when ever I can.
He is faithful to complete the work he began in each of us.
Jim Lamb

Sometimes God calls us to leave, sometimes to stay. At seminary the professor told us to look for the three signs that God gives to show us that he is leading us to a new ministry.  First, the spirit moving in us as we feel a restlessness that God is leading us in a particular direction.  Next others will affirm us in this area and then finally new doors will begin to open to where the Lord wants us to go.

I just recently quit my position at a 500 member church.  My ministry started off fine but I had taken on too many things and in the end was doing none well. This was a new experience for me because I always work hard and do well at what I set out to do.  I was over-worked, exhausted, not available for my family or friends.  I was burned out!  I could blame the leadership or loosing three pastors within a few years, but truth be told, God was at work all the time in my life!  The pain and hurt that Christians inflict on each other can be crushing.  A pastor friend gave good council from scripture which was to do nothing that would do harm to the church so I waited for what seemed like an eternity for God’s timing.  After close to a year of prayer, One day God told me the door was open and all I needed to do what walk through it!  I followed his leading but had no idea where he wanted me to be.  I waited for God to tell me and his answer was surprising.  He told me that he wanted me to get to know him!

Through this experience I learned first hand that I can do nothing if it is outside his will for me.  I was faced with humility because I realized I needed his strength to get me through.  In some very small way I saw what Christ must have experienced not to be supported by those around him and betrayed.  Through all of it, he tells us to love and forgive. I needed to make a conscious decision to love back, which is still hard.  For me to love, I needed to listen to God and allow him to walk with me down a new path.  He has a great plan for each of us!

Faithfully he has blessed me with new ministries at another church.  Although I learned much going through those painful times, I recently received a note of encouragement from someone at this new church that read, “My purpose is to encourage you and pray for you while you serve.  It’s my privilege to serve you this way.  You don’t have to do anything in return, it’s my gift to you to say “thank you.” I’ll be praying regularly for you and for your ministry.  Just know that you’re loved, valued, appreciated, and supported, perhaps more than you know.”

I believe that is God’s message to me and God’s prayer for you.  To know him, and know that he loves, values, appreciates and supports you and is shaping you into his likeness.  I will pray that prayer for all who read this.

Bernie,

I can only guess that you were reading some other blog entries than these ones when you wrote your response. Or at least I can HOPE that you were. I certainly do not mean to attack, but it seems that you have read these posts with your own agenda in mind, because your conclusions seem to me to be more than a little off base.

Since I haven’t had any problems that come CLOSE the the great challenges my brothers and sisters in Christ have who have posted here (and I honestly prayed for you all as I read your reponses, which really hit me hard… ) I’m not going to post on this on again, and I am not going to repond to any response to this post. But I will watch this space with prayer in my heart and perhaps some tears in my eyes.

God bless you and keep you all! And quick!

Church is family.  I have had low points in my marriage and family life but I did not quit.  I endured.  I have served one church for over 10 years.  I had some tough spots but I endured.  Credit goes to God and His Word plus a few key friends. 

Within 18 months of my time here, the secretary (who was also pianist, choir director, and treasurer) decided she did not like me (she had run off four other pastors).  I saw it coming and used Jesus’ directive on discipline.  Though she had a lot of friends, they informed her that she was wrong for a change.  She left.

I have noted a pattern that after 18-24 months some family will become upset with me.  I use Jesus’ directive of discipline by quietly confronting them, seeking reconciliation, and praying for unity.  One two occasions I brought others with me.  I had a very close friend in the church become estranged and discovered he was plotting to have me removed.  I had taught me people about Jesus’ directive of discipline and they confronted him.  I visited him quietly as well.  He began a telephone and email campaign.  I called a special meeting of the church and explained the facts.  I explained that the individual was not following the by-laws, that I was not resigning as I believed it would do more harm to the church than good, and that we should pray for unity.  We lost four families...but the church is stronger and more missions minded than ever.

Each situation reminds me of family situations where I have had to go to a family member to talk it out, find common ground, be reconciled. 

I thank God that His Word sustains and strenghens me.  I thank God for a help-mate who is a wonderful sounding board and loving critic.  I thank my mentors and friends who pray for me and keep me focused. 

Whenever I feel like quitting, I get up and get another cup of coffee.  I drink a lot of coffee.

Just my two cents.

Dan